positive tomorrow

okay. the negative version.

dear humanity. you make me want to kill myself. seriously. most of you can't even smile. how miserable and in denial are you. you make me fucking sick. seven billion of you. i fucking loathe you.

now. the positive version.

dear humanity. don't worry, i can smile for you. fuck it, i can't make it positive. i fucking hate you. i seriously fucking hate you.

a positive approach.

to those of you who are human. those of you who can smile. those of you who can give. i wish i knew who you are. i wish i could find you all and get you all together, if only just to thank you. what do i have to do. someone please tell me. what do i have to do to get people together. in an age when we're so divided by product choices, price brackets, and misinformation, bad drugs, bad choices, bad parenting, how can i get any of you together in one area. whether online or on earth.

some moments, my heart is filled with love and hope. other moments my heart is filled with hatred and hopelessness. i keep trying to project a positive energy, to attract positive people, but all i can seem to attract is negative people and drug addicts, and it confuses me. negative people being around me makes me negative, people try to tell me the opposite, but no, this is what's happening. i cannot convince anyone, nor does anyone seem to care. panhandling, i see people who are so miserable, that they refuse to smile, and i feel like saying 'don't worry, i can smile for you'. and i'm out of ideas. i've tried everything i could think of. and i'm not as stupid as you constantly assume. so all i can think to do, is this.

dear humanity. please. i'm begging all seven billion of you. i am only trying to attract the positive people who still care about life. i do not want to attract negative people who make bad choices in life any longer. so i'm asking whatever energies are out there. please. please help me. please keep the negative people away from me. i'm done wasting time having people ask me for drugs, and no one being human enough to give. what world are you trying to live in, i wonder. how hard is it to not deny the truth, the reality that's right in front of you. as you share the street with drug addicts. i'm done with that world of yours. when i wake up tomorrow, i want to see positive people. i want to start finding positive people. only positive people. intelligent people. compassionate people. not credit card addicted apathetic plastic zombie clones. i'm so sick of it. that's the world you created, and i'm not allowed to be displeased? plus i'm all alone? i refuse to accept that. there's no excuse for this. no more negative. i'm going to start refusing to believe that it exists. i'm going to start making fun of it, or just not even acknowledging it. i'll ignore you like you ignore me, if that's what you want.

dear positive people. please. be attracted to me. come to me. find me. i'm a metalhead, pothead, anarchist, evolutionist, and i know there are more people like that out there in this world. i know you're out there. it can't be this hard to find you. i dress like the people i'm trying to attract. the people on the outskirts of society. i don't even know what humans i'm looking to find anymore, honestly, i wish someone could understand how hopeless i've become. if your heart is bigger than your wallet, please, come find me. i'd like to get the real party started. and so far it's not working online or on earth. so when i wake up tomorrow, i'd like to feel like it's already happening. no more negative. only positive. please. does anyone hear me?

The definition of fascism

Now starfucks is telling me I can't have my case in there. Then what the fuck would you suggest I do with it? Have you ever been homeless? Then why don't you fuckin' try it, and then you'd have a little more authority to tell me where to put mine. Every time you act like that and get away with it, you're suffocating homeless people. Every time you suffocate homeless people, you're creating a movement against your own society. Do you not understand that? Do you need that explained to you? Can you really not understand the damage you're doing? If not, you shouldn't have a job. That's what nature says. How can you know what nature says? You deny nature by making marijuana illegal. That's your logic, and your logic is childish, paranoid, and delusional. What, do you want an apology? Fuck you, Starbucks. You're just perpetuating fascism, greed, and hatred. I'll see you on judgement day.

fed the fuck up

i am so sick.
i hate...
no one will ever find me valuable.
my job in life is just to serve you.
slaughter every plan i ever fucking formulate.
i'm not allowed to live a life.
i'm just your suicidal slave.

when's the longest you've ever just sat around and... thought... ?

hey april...

may i tell june july?

okay, so i've decided to... well...

i keep telling people to read my blog. but there's a lot of hateful shit on my blogs. and i figure that turns them off, since their ears are too sensitive to handle free thinking, so my solution...

i'm sitting in starfucks on battery power right now, i was panhandling, but had this good idea.

i'm starting a new blog, i'm actually going to pay for the website domain, and i'm going to use it as my business card. put all my positivity and dreams on there. and as soon as i can save all the rest of my shit and take it offline, i will. i'm sick of having fragmented shit to show, i want to showcase all my work on my own site, fuck deviant art, fuck facebook, fuck all your social networking twitter brained fuckin' sites, i'll make my own. i should have done so a long time ago.

so tomorrow, when i get my money, i'm starting the new blog, and... yeah. well, that's my idea, but i kinda have to wait till tomorrow, cause my money's not on my card yet. but at least my naked news went got paid again. that's a once a year thing. netflix and phone. after that, i want to start writing my ideas and advertising myself better, promoting myself. some guy came up to me the other morning, outside starfucks, handed me a card, and said call me, i dig your style, and wanted to... i guess model me? fuckin' i don't know. but creating fashion is one of my goals. a new style. unseen. nonconforming. fuck you. that's my brand. fuck you brand. come get my fuck you brand products, yours now for a chunk o' your soul. fuckin' hacks. anyway.

so i'll try to keep all the hateful shit here, for therapy, and put all the good shit there. start advertising evolution hotline.

anyway, gotta go now, josh is here. just wanted to post that to remind myself.