The Reverend

be a tool, or use a tool

2012-01-28T13:00:00.005-07:00

there was a post in a goth group that got me ranting. usually i never respond to any of these, because i pheel that my words wouldn't be appreciated there. simple people don't like verbal weirdos infiltrating their niches. not to say that goths are simple people, just most of the posts i've seen in this group, people seem simple, and spelling seems unimportant. i try to be helpful, and they end up making me pheel like an asshole. but i read this one, and of course had something to say. i wrote this the other day, and phigured it was way too long and way too lame to post. but i decided to post it anyway. so now i'm posting it here, since this is my place to talk, because no one will bitch... because no one reads this. anonymity is a good thing. it was supposed to be just a short comment, but turned into this whole long thing. so here's the guy's post first:

Hey everyone, I'd like to talk about bullying toward gothic people. I remember when i was at high school, i had a lot of problems because i was dressed unlike "the fashion", then some people gave me the reputation of a gay/nazi/anarchist... cleaver isn't it? i'm all and the contrary lol. But i really didn't care about that because i played with that, i played with stereotypes, i mean, some people tried to bullyied me, and i answered like somebody really crazy (like if i was posseded by a demon) and i scared a lot of bitches... Until the day a guy wanted to fight with me, i kicked his ass, then nobody tried to fight against me anymore i was just "racist" because the who wanted to fight with me was mixed colored and looked like a "pakistani", so it was me the racist... But i was pretty happy because nobody wanted to touch me again. But what about you? did you have some bad experience at school, or in the street? I remember when i was a student i had another problems with "gangsta" they fought against me only because i wasn't look like "i should be" for them i was disrespectul with their religion... so we fought, and fortunatly i can defend myself. But i remember a girl in paris was unable to defend herself and have been raped just because she was goth... obviously the police did nothing... it's at the limit if police said "done well for you!" so if you have some bad experiences, share it, we'll be happy to help you as well as we can :)

and now my comment:

i find, the best way to defend yourself is not with weapons and punching, but with words. sounds stupid, but if you can outthink them, and make them pheel like a real phuking retard... you win. it's not that hard to do, they are actually retarded. i'm a writer. and a pretty good one. over the years, i've found that i'm really good with words. no one else thinks they can use words, because they never try, they don't know the right things to say, they don't think on a higher level. knowledge can kick anyone's ass. leave them speechless. don't let them get a word in, just keep cutting them down, threats are also good, but the good kind, like 'you see that teacher back there, i think she would see this, and i'm sure your parents would like to know what an asshole you are'. educate yourself, so you can be mercilessly brutal.

i'll give you an example, that, if you're smart, you can translate into your own experience. say i'm doing an interview on some idiot religious news show, and they try the old 'ambush' technique. instead of getting all flustered, which is what they want, therefore they win, instead, say something like, 'oh, oh, i get it, this is your attempt at an ambush, how's that working out for you. i see we haven't gotten past that one yet. yeah, go ahead, tear me to shreds with your words like i've done to you. show me your mind can handle this. show me your mind can battle mine. show me your mind'. they don't know what the phuk to say after that, and the interview's over. you just interviewed them on their own show, made them pheel like an asshole infront of their own audience. they won't phuk with you again. take them down before they have a chance to get a word out. unless they hire an assassin, which they've been known to do, in which case, you're screwed.

don't phuk with psychotik religious people, unless you have no fear. not even fear of dying. that means educate yourself with knowledge of the afterlife. and never believe the first lie you hear. any knowledge can be a tool. and there's plenty of knowledge out there, i'm not talking about reality tv. i'm talking about, read the wikipedia pages on reincarnation, or the cerebrum, or prophecies, or different kinds of doctorates. make yourself a scholar, and in today's information age, you can do that for free, no cost. become a wikipedia addict. i read very little compared to some people, but you'd be amazed at how much knowledge i take in. if you can translate right, you can even learn from watching reality tv. which i don't, but just to make a point. i don't watch tv. i haven't seen a commercial in several months. and i pheel so much better. if you watch youtube videos, just watch the right ones. do searches for 'bigthink', or 'terence mckenna', or 'alex jones', or anything else of that nature. smart stuff. trade entertainment for education. you'd be surprised. train yourself. start writing. and i'm not talking about emails. post a blog. and not the kind that's just a bunch of pictures. rant about how shytty your day was, and how stupid traffik was, and how people can't drive, and you had to survive. get your pheelings out, exercise your words, 'work out' the muscle that matters. sharpen your tongue. make your physikal defense a backup plan. if you punch them and knock them down, they'll eventually come back for you. if you make them pheel like a moron, they're alot more likely to stay away. if they phigure out that, to kick your ass, they have to outthink you, they'll stay home and read wikipedia. and hey, you just spread education like a virus. when we all get smarter, and evolve, we'll realize that violence is no longer necessary. the bully caveman's days are numbered. be the smart guy that cuts a few days off. and there's a huge difference between a smart man, and a thinker. if you aren't intuitive and don't think about things, being a smart man will only get you so far. a smart man can get a good job, but a thinker can realize that 'working for the man' is pointless, and can do more important shyt with their time. getting a job won't help you save the world. working for 'the man' won't help you evolve. being asshole's slave won't get you to the top of the ladder. no matter what lies they sell you. they say 'if you work for me long enuph, you'll work your way up'. bullshyt. ask around, and find out how many people that's happened to. and then try to phigure out if they were a smart man, or a thinker. thinkers may die young, but they live in history alot longer. everyone knows who einstein is. no one knows who your boss is. or who his 'hardworking' father was. there's two ways to make a name for yourself. 'get your hands dirty' as the smart man says, or 'think' as the thinker says. people will always lie to you as to which is easier. always find out the truth for yourself. you'll get knowhere believing everyone else's lies. because after all the knowledge we've learned since our caveman days, it's either to trust the bully with the gun, or believe what everone else tells you. well, truth is, no one knows shyt. the more thinking you do, the more truth you learn. and then you're armed with a weapon know won can match.

i live in the desert, and i wear a trenchcoat all year round. you know why no one phuks with me, they can see my Th3rd 3ye. they say 'aren't you hot', i say 'nope'. they say 'are you cold', i say 'nope'. and i walk away. leave them wondering. they'll be too busy wondering who the phuk you are, to come and try to punch you. i've learned alot of things in my life. one of those things, is that stupid people run from heavy words. they panik. they don't know what to do. those news programs think they can kick your ass with a prewritten set of words that they've used many times before. if you can think on your feet, be spontaneous and unpredictable, and outthink them, and if you give them an answer they weren't expecting, you abruptly cut off their speech and leave them stammering, stuttering, mumbling, babbling, and drooling. you just punched their weak brain with a dose of 'phuk you'. you taught them a lesson, 'don't phuk with someone you can't outthink, your prewritten, predictable words won't work on me'. if someone gives you shyt about being goth, you give them shyt about being 'normal', or thinking that 'normal' is the only way to be. they have no personality, they can't choose who they really want to be, or how they really want to dress, they're too scared of being different, but you have the balls to embrace your uniqueness, and they don't. you know who you really are, and they don't. you know that people who are 'normal' are in denial, and delusional, because they think there actually is such a thing as 'normal'. they're blind, look around you, there is no 'normal'. those of you who try so hard to be 'normal', are putting too much effort into something that doesn't even exist, instead of putting enuph effort into being who you really want to be. you deny your true self, maybe because you don't have a 'true self'. the difference between you and them, is that you are already smarter than they are, because you know who you are. and that's a valuable and useful piece of information to have these days. if all they can do is what everyone else is doing, then they're nuthing more than clones. if you're 'impressionable', then any idiot in the world can make an 'impression' on you. but, if you impress yourself, then you're well defined, and no idiot in the world can touch you. you've just had your first lesson in being a real badass. they may have sticks and stones, but... whoever said 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'... obviously never met me. for me, the opposite is true. sticks and stones can't hurt me, because i'm armed and armoured with knowledge. if you're good enuph, you can make them pheel like a moron and regret throwing that rock, before it even hits you. making them pheel stupid can do much more damage than anything they've got. even permanent damage. when i was in elementary skool, some idiot wanted to fight me, and just being naïve and thinking of the first stupid thing that came to my mind, to try and get out of it, i said 'ok, but i won't fight you with fists, let's make it a fight of minds'. he was dumb enuph to say 'ok', so we agreed to meet in the park on the weekend. by the way, that's the dumbest move any bully can make, and if that's the best thing they can think of, it shows you just how dumb they are, and how easy to beat they are. anyway, this idiot went to the park, and waited. and waited. he came to skool on monday, and by then his anger was gone, and he probly even forgot why he was angry, but he said 'you never showed up, i sat there waiting all day'. well, he just wasted his weekend, and he ended up never hitting me. looks like i won that 'battle of the brains'. and i didn't even know what i was doing, i was just improvising. he didn't even get it. but i sure learned from it. i phigured out i had something they didn't have. something that was much better than anything they did have. and that's a good piece of knowledge to have.

by the way, if they do end up kicking your ass, you still pheel better than them, because you just phigured out how much of a retard they really are, and you get to go home and tell one hell of a story to your family and friends. then, that guy wonders why these strange people are laffing at him the next day. he pheels like a real asshole. and i'd bet you that he pheels worse than he made you pheel. bruises will hurt for a little while, but wounded pheelings can potentially last a lifetime. especially in stupid panicky idiots who don't know any better. if you put them in therapy for the rest of their life, you win. i wonder if this whole thing is dumb enuph to post. dumb as a blog post. you can be a tool, or you can use a tool. my tool is bigger.

bob saget's wild porno bloopers

2012-01-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

i had a dream that i was watching some porno video, that was a combination of extremely risky and daring publik things, and bloopers of publik things gone wrong. and it was set to the muzik of enya. like this one guy, was standing up against a wall, next to an old lady, who was apparently waiting for a cab or something, and he's standing there just yanking his doodle, and she doesn't even notice, and just keeps talking to him. she doesn't notice till just before she sees his manjuice shooting out of his dangle, and she almost has a heartattack, but she looks a bit turned on. this video was phuking hilarious, and apparently, other people in this weird apartment building i was in, were watching it, too. this building looked like it was still being built, and under cunstruction, and everything was still bare wood (pun intended), and no actual walls, just the wooden beams everywhere, but people were sitting in rooms watching their tvs and eating pulled pork pizzas, and laffing at this really long video full of clips of publik scenes of all kinds, and riddled with bloopers of all kinds. if that 'phunniest home videos' show was a little more openminded, this would've been the prize winner. hell, they did have bob saget on their show, and he's a filthy mutherphuker. he's also quite an idiot, which is probly why he was perfect for their show. anyone who's dumb enuph to do that show, is dumb enuph to do anything, so i'm sure we could get him to host this erotik comedy special. in the dream, it phelt like this video was a full length movie, about two hours long, cause i kept seeing new things while i was walking around doing whatever the hell else. at one point, it looked like i was helping to build the building. that's a phunny term, isn't it. shows a lack of creativity for whoever came up with those words. build the building. yeah. or 'i'm building a building'. you sure are. who's the big building builder. yes, you are, aren't you. look at those cute little cheeks, now go play with your little hammer. yeah. he left his thinking cap on too long.

i'm a loser, baby

2012-01-23T00:24:00.003-07:00

if i ever do that stupid loser 'L' on my forehead thing, i'm going to do it with the wrong hand, and see if anyone notices, and if they do notice, 'you know you did the wrong hand, right', say 'yes, to make myself look like even more of a loser than they are, yes, just pointing out the hypocrisy of loserdom, cause usually the guy doing the forehead loser thing turns out to be more of a loser than the guy he's doing it to'. unless you're george w. bush doing the forehead loser thing to dick cheney, in which case we enter into such a contradictory standoff, that the universe just disappears, and all that is left, is lewis black standing between two starbucks.

and when i publish this post, it has a box where i can type 'labels for this post', which i never do, but then it gives examples, 'e.g. scooters, vacation, fall', as if that's all that anyone ever talks about, or is supposed to talk about. and i wonder why no one reads my blog. actually, i don't wonder, i like complete anonymity. i'm the world's greatest unknown.

one last thing, about my 'only the strong survive' post. a few years ago, we heard on the news, that two cops were involved in a shootout with one man. each cop emptied two clips and point blank range. POINT... BLANK... RANGE... and no one hit a damned thing. nuthing. i'll repeat that. two cops emptied two clips each at POINT BLANK RANGE... and HIT NUTHING. did you really get the full effect of that. do i need to say it again. two cops and one man had a shootout at POINT... BLANK... RANGE... and hit NUTHING. did you really get it that time. one man. two cops. three guns. four clips. no hits. and a partridge in a phuking graveyard. yeah, the news said the bird saw this shootout, and while it was not wounded, it died laffing.

for the verbally challenged

2012-01-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

i'm going to say something that's going to put an end to the whole 'offensive language' debate... right phuking now. if they think we're 'juvenile' because we use adult language, then why do they call it 'adult language'. look at the movie rating for any movie you watch, it's called 'adult language'. we're adults, we can use that language. that's one of the cool things we get to do when we turn eighteen; smoke cigarettes, watch porn, and cuss up a storm. it's helpful when we get to tell our parents to phuk off. you're an adult now. if they think we're being 'juvenile', because we use adult language, in reality, they're the ones being 'juvenile', because they're choosing to be offended by a word. it's just a word, it's not a bullet like you use on us, it's not going to hurt you, it's a word. and the fact that you use the whole 'children' excuse to put an 'r' rating on our movies, makes you the hypocrite. because children can handle alot more shyt than you think they can. hell, they can handle alot more shyt than you can. you know when i first used my first adult word, was about eight years old. when i heard my first adult word was alot younger than that, from my psychotik, hateful, evil, sadistik, hypocritikal grandmother, who now says she's never used that language, and tries to censor me when i use it. for those of you who don't know, that's the definition of a hypocrite, right phuking there. look it up, it will use some adult words far beyond your vocabularikal understanding. you know when i saw my first porno mag, that was actually a penthouse, and not just a playboy, was about eight years old. and look how i turned out. just phuking fine. i'm more normal and mature than any of the rest of you. you may not think so, but i sure do, cause i have a more squeegee'd and more mature, adult perception of what 'normal' really is. i got rid of all those hangups when i was eight years old. you think we're being 'juvenile' because we choose to not limit our freedom of speech, and use language that we're entitled to as adults. you're the ones that call it 'adult language', which means that you're the ones being 'juvenile' and immature by choosing to get offended by 'adult language'. you're being children. and you're not being normal children, you're being maldeveloped children in a dysfunctional family, with many drug addictions, delusions, skizophrenia, and all that good shyt, because any child that i've ever known, uses adult language, smokes cigarettes, drinks beer, watches pornography, listens to adult muzik, watches the good movies, and is more mature than you. that's the majority of children in the world can handle more 'adult' shyt than you can. so you're just using this whole 'children' excuse just to protect your own ears, and to put 'r' ratings on our movies, to label us as some sort of deviants, that makes you the hypocrite. you are the deviant, the deviation from the 'norm', you are the hypocrite, and hypocrisy is the real 'offensive language'. people who don't have 'protection' grow up to be alot stronger than you'll ever be. and having 'authority' doesn't make you strong. you're the ones choosing to get offended by 'adult language'. not the rest of us. you are the ones who call it 'adult language' ninety percent of the world, including children, uses adult language. you are the ones who call it 'adult language', you are the ones who call it 'offensive language', you are the ones who let your fragile little minds get offended by words, you are the ones who consider it to be any sort of language other than just plain normal language. and may i remind you, in that respect, you are the extreme minority. look around you. take one of your little polls. do your research. this world is phuked up. if you don't have the balls to say 'this world is phuked up', then you are the problem, and we're coming for you. consider that next time you try to censor me, or try to limit me like you limit yourself, or cut me down to your level. thanks to acid, i'm higher than you, and you can't reach me. you are the minority, in every way. people forget that, because you use a different word, the word 'elite' translates to 'minority'. let me run that little factoid by you again. ninety percent of the world, including children, uses adult language. that means that the ten percent of the world who are immature, childish, juvenile, whiny little weakminded adults like you, are choosing to be offended by a word. debate over. i just won that shyt. and i just won that shyt, because i choose to not limit my speech, or weaken my mind, and i choose to use all words. i use the best words, i use the words that really phuking punch. i don't limit myself verbally, unlike those of you who are verbally challenged.

record label pussies

2012-01-22T23:37:00.007-07:00

note to self: one of these days, i should write a song called 'rock and roll pussies'. and have it say that if you aren't just beating those drums to death with every last bit of energy you have, then you're a pussy. and also talk about how i dare any rapper to try to play fear factory's 'replika', or strapping young lad's 'detox'. and try to rhyme parts of that. like def leppard and poison, a bunch of pussies, and also rappers and pop stars that can't write their own songs, or play any instruments. just really make the case for how they're all just a bunch of pussies. and how the record label does everything, and the pop singer just stands on stage and lipsyncs like a little puppet. use references to how i read on wikipedia about 'paramore', that they wanted to make the girl singer a pop star, and she says 'no, i want to be a rock singer with my band behind me', and the record execs, and i quote, 'decided to go along with her wishes'. as if they didn't have to. man, if that doesn't sound phuking soulless and fake and wrong. how could we have that sort of horseshyt in this world, how could we allow that, as artists, as muzicians, isn't it our responsibility to keep those phukers out of our bizness. they own and cuntrol everything, they own and cuntrol all of us. any piece of art or muzik out there is cuntrolled by a record company who doesn't have the talent to do it themselves. like sonik syndicate; nuclear blast, the most asshole label out there, wants to cuntrol the direction of their muzik. they should have the balls to stand up to this label, and say 'if you want muzik that sounds that way, why don't you make it. don't tell us what muzik to write, do it your phuking self. we're not little monkeys you teach to fetch you a beer, we're not children doing skool lessons, we're rockstars, godddamnit, we don't answer to anyone, especially you. i could write a whole album on that subject alone. all these fake phuking panzy posers out there. a song obviously needs to be written that just really tears them all a new one. as if i haven't written enuph of those already. but i think, exploring that particular, specifik subject, obviously hasn't been done properly yet, so leave it to yours untruly, ozztek undustries, to put that phuking message out there, cause no one else has the balls to do it. those are the same people who don't have the balls to stand up to their record labels. or make their muzik without a label. with downloading, the record labels are becoming less and less necessary. 'we want to make this girl a pop singer'. they choose a girl, based solely on her pretty looks and her pretty voice, just another pretty face, and they stick her on a stage, and say 'here, sing these songs'. and she does it. you want to know why. she's a robot with no soul. you're paying money to see a soulless robot puppet, and the puppet strings are right above the stage, being held by record execs. that's your muzikal world, because you didn't have the balls to stand up to these greedy phuks, and say 'keep your greedy phuking hands out of my muzik'. just the fact that a record company can say 'we want to make this girl a pop singer', means that they have way too much cuntrol, they can do whatever the phuk they want, and they know that we won't resist, because 'we want money'. well, sorry, but you aren't getting my vote or my dollar. they have all that cuntrol, and no resistance, they can do whatever they want, because they have all of our money. if we stop buying muzik, and start downloading it, they lose power. so they get angry, and try to stop us from getting free muzik. you buy a cd for twenty bucks. only a tiny percentage of that twenty bucks actually goes to the artist, the rest goes to the record label, and they use that money to feed you a bunch of soulless horseshyt. how do i know this. because i have a brain, a soul, and i see the puppet strings. there are no strings above me, i speak freely. no one owns me. i can't be bought. because i'm not in it for the money, i'm in it because i have a message of truth to get out there. they don't want the truth spoken, so they'll kill me as soon as they can, just to shut me up. just ask bill hicks, or john lennon. but as long as i breathe, i'll keep talking, because coma patients need to hear this shyt. watch the tv miniseries called 'alice', if you're not too busy watching reality tv. watch something with a little imagination to it. it was aired in 'ohnine, it's losely based on the 'alice in wonderland' story. it's very 3yeopening to someone who's already awake, and sees the strings. i'm in this shyt just to get my message out there. because, when i die, what's going to be more important; the money in my wallet...

or my message in the veins of the world.

...
this is my rap song, for all you tards and haters
since it's the only way to get thru those sedaters
you think you're so cool, but i remain skeptikal
unless you can try to play fear factory's 'replika'
i dare you to play strapping young lad's 'detox'
and you think i'm weak, because i can't 'box'
but i'll shove a guitar thru the back of your skull
just to show you that you can really be that dull
now just repeat that about forty times to get it
and it will really offend you all, if you let it
you've got to understand something sometime never
we can't just stay in elementary skool forever
grow the phuk up and buy your parents some condoms
and you say i wronged 'em? damn near killed 'em!

only the strong survive

2012-01-22T15:34:00.010-07:00

poll: what do people most want to protect in their antisopathetik campaign:

freedom of expression
freedom of speech
online piracy
social networks
comphort zone (comphort has 'zones'? as in 'limits'?)
bizness interests (that's all that this is about: money)
other

my answer: you should've put an option there for 'all of the above', cause that's what i would choose. 'freedom' does not have limits. even if we do. (but, when it all comes down, what would i really choose. nuthing. take away whatever you want, we'll still evolve beyond you).

and for people who download, calling us 'pirates' is a little elementary, don't you think. immature, unimaginative, juvenile. we're not johnny depp on a phuking boat. i have asked people this question, and just get back blank stares: who needs more money; the rich people making the album, or the poor people buying the album. the movie and muzik industries are not hurting for cash, they're just greedy. there is a difference. you'd do well to keep that in mind during this 'debate' (aka, illogikal madness).

do you ever look at the download numbers on any one torrent? it's usually no more than about two thouzand. and that, when most artists are selling five hundred thouzand copies of each album, seems a little greedy, don't you think. besides, they're copies. takes about a dollar to make each copy, and you're charging twenty bucks for each copy. that's nineteen dollars of profit. and if you took responsibility for yourself, and didn't need to pay for a greedy and pointless record label that 'chose you', most of that money would be yours. here's five bucks, buy a calculator.

the government is trying to take away our freedom of speech, freedom of expression, and just about every other freedom that comes with the internet. these are the same people that ignore our constitution. and i say 'our constitution', because it's certainly not theirs. they ignore the first ammendment, and do every abusive thing they can to take that freedom away. first of all, it's not a 'freedom' that should be given to us by our government and untrusted leaders, we should be naturally born with it. no one has cuntrol or authority over any kind of freedom. that negates the meaning of 'freedom'. these are the same people who ignore the 'freedom of assembly' part, and pepperspray peaceful, nonviolent protestors in the face. i've seen it with my own 3yez, and my squeegee'd Th3rd 3ye, protestors sitting down in a line, and a cop just walking by them, spraying massive amounts of pepperspray right in their faces. can someone say 'police brutality', or 'abuse of power'. these are the same people who murdered gandhi. these are the same people who shot and killed four students at kent state. and we keep letting them get away with it, because they sell us the excuse of 'security'. security from who. these are the same people who kill countless peaceful protesters and other people everyday. and by 'other people', i mean that they can't aim their guns right, and end up killing innocent bystanders all the time, but do they ever get punished. the whole 'job security' thing is only for them. they kill innocent bystanders, people who are not even protesting, just peaceful citizens on their way to work. you just ended that person's life with your ignorance, psychotikally waving your gun around in a crowded street like a phuking madman, letting bullets fly wherever, and taking people's lives who you've never met, don't know anything about, and haven't even been granted the permission to take their life. you probly just killed the one lawyer who could've saved your life. or you probly just killed the guy who had the ability to make our world a better place. you'll never know, because you're too busy killing people to find out who that guy was. if you're going to kill someone, you should maybe do your research better. but, then again, you're trying to take away wikipedia. because knowledge is a bad thing. you know what makes it possible for you to watch your televangelists on tv. knowledge. that's right. some smart thinker invented that tv. without knowledge, you would've never set foot out of the garden of eden. you'd have no technology, no cellphone, no tv, no house, no suit and tie, no bulletproof car to save your life while you're taking the lives of countless others. all you'd have is a tree, a few apples, and a snake. if anyone deserves to have their lives taken from them, it's you. not only did you take a freedom we should be naturally born with, and turn it into a 'government given' freedom, but now you're trying to take that freedom away, because you gave yourself the 'authority' to do so, by manufacturing enemies and excuses. it is not a 'government given' freedom, therefore you can't take it away. just because you're a psychotik caveman with a gun, doesn't mean you have any more authority than any of us. 'authority' is a delusion. an illness of a powerhungry mind. the internet is taking us into a new world, where no one has or needs authority. and that scares you. so you're doing everything you can to stomp that little freedom out. well, best of luck to you, because evolution favours the 'fittest', meaning the most intelligent, not the most psychotik, or the man with the most money or guns, both of which you made for yourself, but evolution, whether you like it or not... i guess i should say, whether your god tells you to deny it or not, does exist, and has been around for eternity. and your days are numbered, no matter how you look at it. so run in fear, you little cockroaches, run in fear, sell us fear and excuses, and try to survive in any way you can. freedom does not have limits. fear, on the other hand, does. one of those hands is getting cut off. like in the old days, when you steal, they cut off your hand. correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe that was you. well, we may be stealing muzik that should be free anyway, but you're trying to steal our freedoms that you don't have the power to steal, no matter how delusional you are. so say goodbye to those hands. and your head, while we're at it. we outnumber you. it's only a matter of time. toodles.

--
update: you're going to love this. this socalled 'freethinker' whose poll i commented on, replied to my comment saying 'freedom does not have limits'. he said 'freedom to kill, freedom to be killed, there must be limits somewhere'. so i replied, 'wouldn't that contradict with 'freedom to live'? freedom to kill is not a freedom, neither is freedom to be killed. we need to step out of this psychotik and homicidal nightmare, and learn to evolve in harmony. that is a freedom'. people have phuked up understandings of 'intelligence' and 'freedom' and other words that should mean what they say. only a psychotik and illogikal mind in this world would think that murder is a freedom. those are the people that think anarchy won't work. if there weren't governmental order, people would just go nuts, and would be complete chaos. no, the idiots would all kill eachother, and we would live in peace, because we're smart, thinkers, and know how to hide until the 'chaos' stops. does no one know this. it's called logik. 'if we didn't have a government, people would just go nuts', yeah, and you're one of them. look around you. the world is already chaotik enuph, the government commits mass genocide everyday, and we let them get away with it. that's 'freedom to kill'. if we had real freedom, and no governmental limits, i'm sure we'd do just fine. what reason would we have to kill eachother. think about it. please. do us a favour, and think. the government is the enemy, not us. do i really have to do the world's thinking, is that my responsibility. even these people who are 'fighting for freedom', don't even really know what freedom is. they think it's the freedom to check their email. that's what they're fighting for. freedom... does not have limits. even if we do. if we let you out of the cage, and your first instinct is to kill someone, instead of running free and enjoying freedom, then you're the problem. there are, believe it or not, some of us who would not kill anyone, but instead run free, and enjoy freedom. not all of us are psychotik and stupid. some of us are fighting for true freedom. the fact that i have to clarify and say 'true freedom' instead of just 'freedom' means that something is wrong. maybe, before we let you out of this cage, we can give you a dictionary. if you tear it up and try to eat it, we know not to open that particular cage. if you read it, and learn the true definition of 'freedom', and appreciate it, then your cage gets opened. how's that, is that the deal we can make. it's called logik. religious people think logik and thinking are bad things. religious people are responsible for more deaths than any thinker. religious people are holding us prisoner. hence the whole 'freedom' idea. come on, do i really have to teach this class of elementary students and monkeys, or can we get to more important subjects already. can we all understand the real meanings of the words i'm using. 'evolution' is not the name of a cellphone, or a videogame. 'freedom' is not something you can buy in a store, or something you have to fight for. 'freedom' does not have limits. look it up. if you put a chain around 'freedom', then it's not free, is it. if you put limits on freedom, it's not freedom. well, class, i think we've learned our lesson today, about how and why 'only the strong survive'. actually, i'm going to clarify that line, and i'm going to say 'only the smart survive' or 'only the sane survive'.

and, once again, i was met with nuthing but blank stares...

world war madness

2012-01-09T15:20:00.004-07:00

the dumbest thing about world war one, was not how many cuntries fought, or how many people died, which are both astonishing numbers, but rather the fact that the war was ended by the signing of treaties. like treats for the good little fighters and puppets. the fact that the leaders stayed indoors and signed papers, while followers were dying in massive numbers. a hundred and thirtyfive cuntries fought, and more than fifteen million people died. and then, don't forget about world war two. obviously, those 'treaties'... didn't work. around sixty million people died. it was madness, everyone was attacking everyone, and no one was sane. you can't tell me that wasn't all planned. for the allies to win, and the bad guys to lose, after so many people were murdered by the leaders. the leaders have led us down a dark, blind path of hopeless, psychotik suicide. wasted lives. it's all about power and money. and no one thinks there's anything wrong with that. even to this day. patriotism is a disease. an interesting fact about world war two, as said on wikipedia, is 'between fifty and seventy million people died'. that means that in the madness of mass murder, and ultimate manufactured chaos and conphuzion, around twenty million people were just forgotten about. there were too many deaths to count. their fighting meant nuthing, they died in meaningless martyrdom. the kicker, is that 'martyrdom' is seen as a good thing. whoever sold us the 'war' idea, was a con artist of the worst kind, but we were the dumbest consumers of all, because we bought it, hook line and blood. we're on the titanik. and we also bought the consumerism lie, when they told us to go shopping, to buy their worthless products, to give them all our money and 'support' the war. we are sheep. it's never been 'we, the people', that was an illusion created to give us false hope that we had some sort of power. the worst thing the war did, was distract us, and blind us from the truth, so the faceless, secure leaders could sit behind closed doors, and do whatever they want to us. we weren't fighting for our security, we were fighting for theirs. an orchestrated amerikan nightmare. world cuntrol, world domination. paid for with our blood. we have been sold. we bought the lie, and now they own us. and the mask of it all, was the word 'superpower', as if just plain and simple 'power' wasn't good enuph. the more money, the more blood, the stronger they get, and the more 'power' we lose, and the more they own us. it's never been 'we, the people'. it's 'we, the sheeple'. the whole 'war' idea taught us to be completely psychotik to eachother, instead of our leaders. it taught us to trust our leaders, and not eachother. and combined with religion, it was the greatest lie ever sold. you can see it in the crack between church and state. we have no power. and they don't just have power over their manufactured 'enemies', they have cuntrol over all of us. we handed it over, in exchange for 'security'. we were already secure. they were the bullies in the caves, and somewhere along the way, they convinced us to protect them. it wasn't the people we killed who were the enemy. it was the faceless leaders sitting securely behind closed doors, and giving the order for their blind, obedient masses and followers to go out and kill as many of eachother as they could, just so the 'leader' could get more power over more people. more blood, more money, more cuntrol, more souls. all the 'power' you need is in your hands. stop killing yourselves, and point that gun higher. after the war, the united nations was set up to develop support between cuntries, and to prevent future wars. looks like that didn't work either. it was a lie, the united nations was set up to manufacture wars, as they spit humans out of factory assembly lines to fight these wars, and think they're doing something good. it was the leaders standing together behind a wall, exchanging puppet strings and green sanity. then the cold war, what a great name, began between the two superpowers. are you seeing the colours of christmas yet. the cold war, the civil war, or how about the name 'the war to end all wars', they sure know how to name these things, leaving only a hint at what they're really doing, and we don't see it. that's just a test to see how blind we are. like looking at tiny letters on a lit up box. if you look closely, you can see the strings over us being pulled, as we're running thru those fields with guns, taking the lives of our fellow humans, with no knowledge of the afterlife or reincarnation. and if you look at who's pulling those strings, it's all the leaders, standing together. and then, the 'decolonization' of asia and afrika, where those cuntries were given their 'independence', and at the same time, politikal integration, the process of 'uniting cuntries'. the separation of the other cuntries, and the unity of our cuntry for more power against them. and we even celebrate 'independence day'. that's a good one. conphuzing, isn't it. drawing lines on a map, to separate the masses into prejudiced sections, telling us we're different from eachother in ways we don't even fully understand. that's a great distraction. not to mention the 'economik recovery'. where did all that money go. it disappeared along with our sanity. and their wallets mysteriously got bigger. why do they need our money, they already own everything. they even own shyt that shouldn't be owned. why does the value of money constantly fluxuate. i've seen that green colour before, when i was locked in a mental home, a prison for thinkers, or anyone who's not 'normal'. and i've seen darkness of the worst kind in the pockets of humanity. there must be some sort of superhuman power in those green dollar bills, the more money they take from us, meaning the poorer we get and the richer they get, the more power they have to cuntrol our souls. we don't just hand over green paper, we hand over our sanity, and walk away with a book about god's childish gluttony for cuntrol. i wonder which one of them created the term 'the rich get richer and the poor get poorer'. that was a great observation of an undetected lie. you know how to catch a liar in a lie... ask them the same question twice. you don't need a machine to tell you if someone's lying, you just need common sense. you need to outthink them. and liars are always pretty phuking stupid. they're dumb enuph to lie in the first place. but we lied when we said we trusted our leaders. and that lie gave them more cuntrol over us, and gave us less knowledge of ourselves. are you starting to wonder how this works yet. connecting any dots. they can kill us, but we can't kill them. they don't even kill us, they tell us to kill eachother, and we do it. we waste our lives, we die for nuthing, and we should be proud. our families should be proud, because we were heroes, and defended our cuntry and fought for freedom. no, we dove headfirst into psychotik insanity. if you have to fight for freedom, then it's not free. you are not free. you are a slave staring at your own death. the 'high cost of freedom', means you don't pay for it with green paper sanity, you pay for it with your life. and we're also told to kill anyone who tries to tell us differently. those are not strings above us, they're nooses. and when we die, what do we get for all our hard work, and giving up our lives... a white stone in a field of uniformity, and we're lucky if they put our name on it. the more obedient you are, the better chance you have to see your name on a stone, as you finally see what the madness was all about. we're not fighting for 'freedom' anymore, we're fighting for survival, and that's something to fight for. the next great war will be the ghost war. there's power in numbers. the question is, who's power. twenty million people lost in the blood and dust of history, and forgotten about. that could've been you. now, i think you know where to point that gun they gave you.

comaudience

2011-12-18T03:40:00.002-07:00

the audience doesn't want you to scream at them, but they need you to scream at them. you need to shock them awake, shake them out of their buttery amerikan coma. otherwise, they won't want to hear the truth. they'd buy anything but. they spend so much money on the lie, they wouldn't know the truth if it was wrapped up like a shiny product. drugs, food, cellphones, rap muzik, reality tv, talentless famous sluts and boy bands and beaver and minimum, we're all the problem, but we have so many issues, including denial, that we accuse all the right people of having our problems. i would know, my own mother and my ex act that way. i know the problem, which gives me the ability to call all of you on all your issues. my mom told me the other day, that i don't know anything about psychology, then i had my very sane, very intelligent, very cool doctor tell me i am not crazy. who would i believe. question everything. question everything, or you will not survive. humanity will not survive. we are already extinct, we're just drugged so far deep into this delusion, we don't know it yet. the puppet masters have taken cuntrol, and we're phuked. we bought their cellphones and watched their puppet show, and were too complacent to get off our asses and take back our freedom. freedom we should be born with and have naturally, not have loaned to us by our faceless parental phigures, and then taken away when we're too phuking docile to notice. how those two words look eerily similar. choose one or the other, but make a phuking choice. don't just cower and let them kill you. act one, was the amerikan dream, the birth of mcdonald's, and the death of jfk. act two, the dream turned into a nightmare. at this point of the puppet show, they want all your money. the president tells you, 'i want you to go shopping', but you never wonder why, cause the products are so shiny to buy. act three, the nightmare turns into a coma, with paris hilton, justin beaver's haircut, lady gagwhore's third attempt at talentless slut popularity, and for the grand finale, the audience dies. wake the phuk up.

it's a distraction. you can be a wake and bake, or a shake awake.

earplugs and no hugs

2011-12-18T02:04:00.000-07:00

my mother is the type of person that always has to have the last word. but she never says anything relevant. she just always says shyt that's so illogikal, that i have no choice but to argue it. and then, not only does she put the earplugs in and shut off, but never understands anything i say. arguing with her has become like arguing with my grandmother, but mom denies that she's anything like her mother. i'm trapped in a duststorm. not just in this world, but in my own house. i can't get away from illogikal babble, and i can't find anyone in this world who understands logik. i've said before, einstein would be ashamed. apparently, she misunderstood timothy leary, too. instead of 'turn on, tune in, drop out', she heard it as 'turn off, tune out, and keep babbling'.

logik metal

2011-12-13T21:55:00.004-07:00

thinker metal. cerebral metal. alien metal. anything but numetal. i am not phuking numetal. there's no such thing as numetal. numetal is a temporary genre. what are you going to call the next genre, really new metal? post new metal? godsmack is clearly not the same genre as chimaira. get it straight. how about visceral cerebral metal. a couple of words that rappers can't look up in the dictionary. there you go. a rap proof genre. let's see those moronik phukers infiltrate this one. mom once told me that queensrÿche was considered by some to be 'the thinking man's rock and roll'. along with maybe dream theater, and a few others. the first signs of progressive metal, in the early nineties. well, i've evolved lightyears beyond them. they're still in elementary skool compared to where i've gone. i'm not oldskool, i'm not newskool, i'm postcollege of life. i offer my fans the truth, in a shocking light. bring them out of that coma with a taser on acid. we need to move beyond those snappy tunes on the radio. shoot the radio. stop letting idiots cuntrol what you listen to. i will stand alone for a while, as the true thinking man's metal. metamuzikal alienmetal. urging, demanding others to join me on this level. daring others to join me on this level. they call me 'taser salad'.

man, i love redheads ii

2011-12-03T02:08:00.005-07:00

i phelt like updating my old picture.

tatu, obviously, on cad. modified by me.

the frame shows 'red hair, black thoughts' by hart worx.

the window shows gemma craven, who you can't find online anymore.

the wallpaper in the background is of the sydney opera house, in australia.

and the style is xoddx by wb skinner.

the start menu icons are called zippo, for iconpackager.

and, of course, bunches o' shyt not shown.

zeon abraxis

2011-11-24T01:04:00.013-07:00

in the movie 'not another teen movie', the girl's name is janey, and dude tries to sing her a song with her name in it, so he sings her 'janie's got a gun', and everyone around her looks at her and freaks, 'janey's got a gun, quick, run away'. so i just saw a name in the credits for kickass, 'ashley stowle', which i assume is pronounced 'stole', so if you see her in a store, and call her name, 'ashley stowle', and the employees look at her, and say 'she's stealing, get her!', and they tackle her. see, if you have a pointless, completely meaningless and stewpid sounding name that doesn't define you as a person, as who you are, if you just have the name of an object or some lame, basik shyt, you could get in trouble. it's time to dump 'bob', and 'joe', and all the thirty billion people with those names, into a phuking black hole, and start being creative. no one ever said we have to copy what everyone else does, or name our children after some other idiot, or keep the same names and utter ridiculousness of labeled idiotudinal embarrassmentality going for a million years, and stay stuck in the same stagnant tarpit of uncreativity and unoriginality and ununiqueness, no one ever said that. we don't have to remain confined to undefined verbal boredom. i'm going to name my next child 'evolve!' (including the exclamation point), how do you like that, neil n' bob tardphukers! and her middle name will be 'thinker'... 'evolve! thinker draven', eternal sister child of rayne miakota, leary samana, newton, sputnik, and my other future child, zion abraxis. none of my children slash minions are ever going to be called 'bob', how uncreative can you possibly get, phuking think! evolve! 'mutate! come home in glory!' (quoted from timothy leary).

headlines and asscracks

2011-11-13T16:38:00.008-07:00

headline: mustardstaine poser finds god.

...and i just found the remote, see ya.

news flash: i just read on wikipedia, dave mustaine is now a born again christian. what idiot, especially a metalhead, what idiot could pick up a bible, and think 'wow, that changed my life'. how dumb do you have to be to not see thru their shyt. i know dave is a total actor and poser, and doesn't have a true self to admit to, but did he have to go that far to prove it. i'm not blind, i can pick up a bible, read the first sentence, and think, 'oh, that's a load of horseshyt'. am i the only one who's immune to that phuking book of lies. like getting sucked into a black hole, or getting picked up by a worm on a hook. i guess it's because i'd rather have shrimp than worms, so i'll pass. that's not all i have ranted about, about mustardstain, he hates mexicans and fags, too. what a phuking tool. he's an actor, a fake, a phony panzy pussy poser pantywearing prick, and the worst embarrassment to metal. he's down there with korn and limp bizkit, living like cockroaches, and feeding on korn and limp bizkits, and dying a horrible megadeth sometime soon, so stay tooned. and can someone educate me on something, when did we lose our creativity, and start naming our metal bands after food. that's just as bad as a rapper idiot naming himself after a candy. he'll rot your teeth, and your brain!

and i think mustardstain is conphuzed and hiding in a dark closette.

the next step is ours

2011-11-03T03:08:00.002-07:00

well, all those youtube videos about october twentyeight, aaand... nuthing happened. yet another prediction date that came and went, and nuthing happened. which could mean any number of possible theories. my guess, is that the people in cuntrol of this stupid world, have temporarily shut off the evolution switch, or are keeping us in a delusion so deep, that it makes the amerikan dream look like someone huffing glue and spacing out. either way, i think the answer is, we need to wake up. in more ways than one. on many different levels, literal, metaphorik, metamorphik, and possibly even ethereally. we grew thumbs for a reason. perhaps it's time we find out why. flip the switch. turn the light on. tell the neanderthal bully he doesn't know who he's phuking with. his time is up. put that wetbehindtheears salamander with thumbs back in his place. in the water. if nature won't take the first step and help us evolve, maybe we need to have the balls to take the next step. maybe they're all waiting for us to step up to the plane. stop being led by a parental phigure of any kind, and start taking responsibility for ourselves. tell daddy to shove it. we all know what that means. we all know what the answer is. it's time to have the balls to admit it to ourselves.

complaints and riddances

2011-10-22T23:55:00.002-07:00

if you're not pissed off, then you're not paying attention. i'm pissed off that not enuph people are pissed off. she asked me, 'are you just going to go thru life being an asshole. does that make you happy'... first of all, i'm not the asshole. the people who are phuking us everyday, and destroying the planet, the people i'm bitching about all the time, they are the assholes, but no one realizes or admits that, they all just want to blame me, or everyone but themselves. i'm the problem, cause i'm pissed off, i'm the asshole. if it means being more awake than everyone else, and realizing that there's alot of shyt in this world to be pissed off about, then yeah, it's an extra plus on my side. no one else uses their right to be pissed off, and they all tell me that i'm not supposed to get pissed off. i've got enuph anger for everyone, but i'm never allowed to get pissed off. phuk that. that just pisses me off even more. if you want me to not get so pissed off, then do something to make me phuking happy.

yet another unheard complaint

2011-10-08T11:56:00.003-07:00

blogger updated their interface, and just like all the other updates that phuk everything up, i didn't like it. so they asked for feedback, but when i clicked 'submit', they basikally said 'we don't want to hear it, we don't give a shyt what your opinions are, so phuk off'. but, they of course couldn't say that, so they actually said 'something bad happened'. yeah, was there 'bad' language involved? something like 'phuk off and die'?. so, anyway, i thought i'd post it here, just incase i ever get the chance to actually send this to them. but, something tells me they wouldn't give a shyt anyway. no one does anymore. it seems like the word 'progress' has taken on a whole new evility. my entire computer experience is being redesigned for idiots, and not for people like me. when did logik become a bad thing.

don't shock people with a completely new layout, update it slowly, piece by piece, so people can get used to each thing, and learn how to use it, instead of learning where everything is all at once. i liked the old interface, i saw nothing wrong with it, it was easy to use, and i knew where everything was. i saw where there could be some improvements, like organization, but what i just saw was the complete opposite of what i would've done. i couldn't find or understand anything, and was very confused. the majority of the page was stuff i would never use, and the things i did use often, were gone. many of the updates i've seen lately, for anything, they always make features for what 'the average user' would do, but no one considers anymore what 'everyone' would want, so they take out features that i use regularly. and, of course, when i try to submit this, 'something bad happened'. why am i not surprised. that seems to happen a lot lately. why do i get the feeling people don't want to hear my feedback. they make me waste my time on this form, and then 'oops'. if you're going to ask for feedback, at least make it work right.

how about not taking out any features at all. no one can ever explain why they remove features i use. what does it hurt to keep those features. how about putting all your features into neatly organized menus. so i can click on 'blog' and 'create new blog' or 'edit blog', or 'create new post' or 'edit post'.

food chain gang

2011-10-08T11:42:00.002-07:00

(inspired by the line in the last post, 'looking for inferior beasts to munch on'). we are the ones who created 'the food chain', and put ourselves at the top of it, just because we invented guns. not a good invention. animals still kill people everyday. but we still think that we're the top of the food chain, cause we just had a steak. did we take that steak directly from the cow, or did we order it from a chef, and buy it. that does not constitute our food chain status. sure, we can kill a cow and eat it, but can we kill a tiger with our bare hands, or better yet, just our teeth, and eat it. we didn't get to the top of the food chain by being smart, but rather bloodthirsty and psychotik. we're thugs with forks. we're selfish, greedy, pretentious animals. there is no 'food chain', therefore we are not at the top of it. why does it have to be a pyramid, why not a circle, or better yet, a cycle. we eat cows, lions eat us, cows eat lions, and lizards are just snacks.

handshakes and mistakes

2011-09-30T18:17:00.002-07:00

i just think that the act of shaking hands is a really stupid, pointless, uncomphortable human thing to do. it doesn't give any additional introductory value. really, what do you learn about a person when you do that. what intellectual sustenance does that elementary gesture carry. so you know what his hand pheels like, so what, good for you, you just traded germs and cooties with a stranger, in a simple action you may regret later, good going, sport. that gesture came from the same elementary, lower reptilian brain, kill or be killed mentality that got us into this mess in the first place, where we think we need the security of shaking someone's hand, in order to pheel comphortable talking to them. like you can pheel more secure, you can trust someone if you shake their hand. and what a stupid gesture to think of, to communicate or ensure trust, than 'grab someone's hand, and shake it'. if we really wanted to know if we could trust someone, we should smash our phuking brains together like rocks, and see if we get a spark. and how many people who hate eachother, still shake hands, just to look 'proper', or give the deceiving appearence of 'friendship'. unevolved lizards have no clue what 'proper' is, and yet they overuse it, and build a society around it. we are not civilized, no matter how much we lie to ourselves, we are bloodthirsty beasts in a jungle of darkened mind functions, looking for inferior beasts to munch on, just to survive and better understand our dogmatik structured strict socalled moral beliefs that keep us in the illuzion that we're sophisticated human beings with suits and ties. just because we have the ability to talk, doesn't mean we've developed it enuph to understand what the phuk we're saying. and we communicate this by grabbing onto eachother's barely unwebbed grubby phalanges, and introducing ourselves as some redundant name like 'bob'. how about we communicate our level of intelligence and universal comprehension by tattooing our iq levels and greatest intellectual accomplishments on our forehead, and walking around with a squeegee stuck in our stupid short hairdos. we're sophisticated monkeys with thumbs. syncronicity has yet to dawn on our collective selective horizon. we're just waiting for the apple to fall a little further from our tree.

blame it on the reign

2011-08-30T14:13:00.000-07:00

The Oracle: this is from 'the god delusion'. thought you could use it somewhere. it says alot. The take-home message is that we should blame religion itself, not religious extremism - as though that were some kind of terrible perversion of real, decent religion. Voltaire got it right long ago: 'Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.' So did Bertrand Russell: 'Many people would sooner die than think. In fact they do.'
The Reverend: i knew about the two zep songs by maynard, but i did not know that one was on the soundtrack... i own both maynard versions, and so do you... the dawkins part is pretty good... voltaire was a smart man... someone once recommended 'voltaire' to me, not the writer, like you would think, but some 80's pop muzician by the same name that turned out to be an idiot... why is it that most of the time, whenever someone recommends muzik to me, it usually ends up sucking horribly and i have something new to add to my hate list... but whenever i recommend anything to anyone else, they usually end up liking it... anyway, my thought about that dawkins part... the voltaire quote, 'those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities'... the bad part about that, is the word 'make'... the fact that anyone can make anyone do anything is just wrong
The Reverend: we need to step up our emotional maturity and be responsible for ourselves... it was irresponsibility that got us into this mess in the first place, people wanting some big wizard boss to take care of them and do everything for them
The Reverend: '... perversion of real, decent religion...'... no religion is decent... if it keeps you from thinking for yourself by putting a gun in your insecure little hand and telling you to kill those who don't believe what you believe, end the lives of the ones you can't convert... it's to blame for this whole phuking psychotik murderous shytfest we're in now... everytime we've gone to war, has been because of religion, too many times has someone murdered someone else because of religion... once is too many, but we let it go so far beyond that because we were afraid to stand up and make a protest, because our holy books tell us not to... it was worked into a flawless plan... or so we thought... now we know, it was very flawed.

reign of regrets

2011-08-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

you know, when the police state arrives in full force, you'll be sorry you didn't listen to me. when they initiate their reign of terror, and prove themselves to be the truly demonik, bloodthirsty, powerhungry dominant cuntrollers of society, that i had warned you about, you'll be sorry you didn't listen to me. you'll suddenly hate them for killing bill hicks, and you'll hate yourself for not listening to him. for thinking he was a freak. or that i'm a freak. these freaks were trying to save you, save the world. but no one would listen. they remained patriotik, supporting their cuntry no matter what they did, and being deliberately blind to whatever was happening that people tried to protest. 'that couldn't be our government, those people are just insane, our government is the best in the world, and we can trust them completely, they wouldn't be out to destroy people unless we were taught to hate them'. whoever the government tells you to hate, you hate them, so the government has an excuse to murder them, to keep you safe. but when you're no longer safe from your own government, where will that blind patriotizm disappear to, i wonder. will your guns come in handy? will your money buy your way out of this hell? will you still be thankful that you were born here, or that you trusted the wrong people? will you still be against me. will you cower and hide. will you run. will you kill. will you change your phuking mind. will you evolve. will you discover any truth. or will your time come soon. will it find you hiding under their arm. what would you do, if your father pointed a gun at you. the father you've trusted all your life. what would you do. would you start thinking? or would you stand there and willingly die. unsure if there's anything after that. well, you waited too long, it's too late, there's nuthing you can do now. enjoy your last few moments of fear, and regret that you could've done something, but didn't listen to the warnings.

your site sucks

2011-08-01T20:37:00.002-07:00

a couple complaints that needed to be said. the first one, about my vizit to playlist.com, the second about a clock i recently bought from walmart, and am returning by throwing it thru their window, and the third, a short little 'phuk you' to webshots.com (one of many complaints toward them, cauze they blow goat).

to playlist.com:

i sign up for an account, and immediately i'm bombarded with eminem links, and other rap crap. then, i search for metal artists, and you only have a few songs, and most of them are duplicates. most songs are misnamed. you can't browse by artist, or album, or similar artists, or song name, or anything that would be remotely convenient. what's the point of this site? i'd much rather just play my music on my computer, and not have to 'share' with people who push crap on me that i don't like, like rap. if you're going to have music on your site, be respectful to people's tastes, don't push music they don't want to see or hear, and have all music, not just a few songs from metal artists, but all songs from eminem. this is the most annoying and useless music site i've ever seen, infact, the worst site i've seen since i deleted my myspace account. you seriously need to rethink your site, starting with the point of it. everywhere i go, i get eminem shoved down my throat, cause he's so popular, and i hate him. if someone likes just metal, don't stick eminem in their face before they've even had time to create their account and set their tastes, which is another thing you can't do on this site, block certain artists from your tastes. i spent half an hour on here, and regret every second. see ya!

to walmart.com:

first of all, what's the point of making an atomic clock that doesn't work if you have other wireless shyt in your house. why not have it receive its signal from my router, or hook up to my computer somehow. and secondly, why can't anyone make a clock that has the date and temp like i want, but that also has a backlight, or bright numbers, so you can see it at night. are we seriously not technologically advanced enough that no one has thought of combining those two features yet?

i looked online at all sorts of stores and all sorts of clocks. if they had bright numbers to see them at night, they didn't have the date, and if they had the date, you couldn't see them at night. do we really only have those two separate types of designs to choose from, do we really put more thought into the looks of it than the functionality or usability.

and you shouldn't have it advertized on your site with a picture of it with the backlight lit, if the backlight doesn't stay lit. and why make a clock that runs on batteries, with a possible backlight, if you can't use the backlight all the time, because it would kill the batteries. it's pointless. don't most clocks these days plug into something.

do we really need to have geniuses designing our clocks because no one else can handle that type of complexity, or imagine better designs. someone needs to seriously rethink the whole clock idea. i can't believe i can't find the one clock i want. i have to just settle with the same, simple, lame crap everyone else has, and hope that someday, someone has an epiphany.

i imagined having a clock that had a small, thin, flat base, and the thin, flat face bent up from the front of the base, so the face could lean back over the base, so from the side view, it would look like an upsidedown 'seven'. and it would have giant, bright green numbers for the time (or you could maybe even be able to change the colours, wow, what a concept), and then under that, have the day of the week, the date, and the temperature, just like this one, but bigger and brighter and thinner, with more clock area, and not so much boxing around the clock. and it would be an atomic clock that would connect to read the time through my computer's usb port, or even just read a wireless signal from my router, and would also plug into the wall outlet, so i wouldn't have to buy ten million batteries a month. is that too much to ask.

to webshots.com:

if i'm paying for wallpapers, which is dumb enough in the first place, but if i'm paying for quality wallpapers, your photographers need to learn how to take a picture. i can take better pictures than this. if you're going to charge for pictures, make sure they're top quality, and that you can't find better pictures elsewhere for free.

i copyrighted my ass

2011-07-29T18:04:00.002-07:00

we should really live in a world where you don't have to copyright everything. if you take a picture of a sunset, you shouldn't copyright it, cauze you didn't create the sunset. if you uze english wordz to write a poem, you didn't create thoze wordz, so why copyright it. if you wrote a song that haz the default 'bass, snare, bass, snare' beat, why copyright that. the only reazon we copyright shyt iz so no one will steal it. but why? phuk it, let them steal it, at least your art iz getting out there. if you keep the original piecez of all your work, you can still put them out az you have them, but if someone wants to do something different with them, why should we set thoze limitationz. if someone wanted to rewrite one of my poemz their way, what would i gain from not letting them do that. if we create an operating system, and copyright it, we're limiting what people can do with it. you just created something with potential to evolve, and then you locked it in a cage. we write a song about how the world should be free, and then we copyright the song, so no one can build on it. why. where iz that getting us. more money in a society that worships money, a society we hate. a society so codependant with money, that we can't exist without it. that's just syck. if we want to make this world better, there are steps we need to take, instead of charging people money for each step, so they're afraid to take a step, or they'll be pushed backwardz. a society based on fear. stop being afraid of having your art stolen. don't copyright it, just copy it, keep the original, and let people do what they wish with the other copiez. the more copiez that are out there, the more people are reading your message. don't give birth to an important message, and then hold onto it for dear life, get your message out there. to let it truly spread like a virus, you have to set it free. this thought © me.

mai owne

2011-07-25T13:00:00.002-07:00

windowz iz a scam. when you buy a mac, you can keep that mac for a long time, and it updates and everything. but microsoft's goal iz to make az much money az possible, by selling az much az possible. why do you think windowz haz virusez and shyt. and when you buy a new laptop, you don't get the windowz cd, so you can reinstall after a virus, if you need to. no, they want you to keep buying new computerz every so often. it's eazier to just buy a new computer, rather than to try and salvage the old one. and i'm not advocating mac in any way. if they wanted more uzerz, they'd make a rightclick button. so what do you do when you don't like any of the operating systemz out there? you make your own. phuk the industry. my os will be completely customizable, and will actually work. ozztek industriez haz the answer. you just have to ask the question. do you want to bring style and functionality, even uzability back to your desktop. anticipate the 'mai owne' operating system from ozztek. finally, your computer will make you happy.

teacher'z dirty looks

2011-07-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

i'm sure, someday, it will get to the point where we encourage, or even demand thinking, and have skoolz based on evolution, and we don't just shove an eighty year old textbook infront of our children in an old classroom, but we teach thought, learning, selfteaching, and individuality, and teach individually, and take the class outside everyday, not just for recess. strengthen our children'z mindz, and give them the toolz to learn further after skool. skoolz should be about education, not stupification. and if a band pops up that starts singing about relationships, or sex, or dancing, or phuking mmmbop, we send them back to skool. i'm not saying take the joy out of being a child, which iz what our skoolz already do, i'm saying let the joy of being a child be taught with maturity. let our children show us how. and instead of saying the pledge of allegiance every morning, and indoctrinating choiceless obediance and blind patriotizm, we say timothy leary'z 'think for yourself' quote. and celebrate the end of the day with a mushroom pizza. life can be so much more phun, if we mature, and learn how to have phun.

naked

2011-07-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Main Entry: naked
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: without covering
Synonyms: au naturel, bald, bare, bare-skinned, bared, barren, defenseless, denuded, disrobed, divested, exposed, helpless, in birthday suit, in dishabille, in the altogether, in the buff, in the raw, leafless, natural, nude, open, peeled, raw, stark-naked, stripped, threadbare, unclad, unclothed, unconcealed, uncovered, undraped, undressed, unprotected, unveiled, vulnerable, without a stitch
Antonyms: clothed

melo playlist

2011-07-05T19:07:00.003-07:00

98 tracks in playlist, average track length: 4:50
Playlist length: 7 hours 54 minutes 26 seconds

1. Aerosmith - Boogieman (2:16)
2. Alice in Chains - Am I Inside (5:09)
3. Alice in Chains - Brother (4:27)
4. Alice in Chains - Don't Follow (4:22)
5. Alice in Chains - Down in a Hole (5:38)
6. Alice in Chains - Got Me Wrong (4:12)
7. Alice in Chains - I Stay Away (4:14)
8. Alice in Chains - No Excuses (4:15)
9. Alice in Chains - Nutshell (4:19)
10. Alice in Chains - Rain When I Die (6:01)
11. Alice in Chains - Right Turn (3:17)
12. Alice in Chains - Rotten Apple (6:58)
13. Alice in Chains - Whale & Wasp (2:36)
14. Altered State - Ghost Beside My Bed (5:50)
15. Amethystium - Treasure (5:53)
16. Bill Hicks - Drugs Have Done Good Things (1:19)
17. deftones - battle-axe (5:01)
18. deftones - beauty school (4:47)
19. deftones - birthmark (4:18)
20. deftones - digital bath (4:15)
21. deftones - good morning, beautiful (3:28)
22. deftones - lifter (4:43)
23. deftones - minerva (4:17)
24. deftones - minus blindfold (4:04)
25. deftones - one weak (4:28)
26. deftones - pins and needles (3:23)
27. deftones - root (3:41)
28. Delain - April Rain (4:36)
29. Delain - Frozen (4:43)
30. Delain - Start Swimming (5:21)
31. Divinyls - Back to the Wall (4:39)
32. Divinyls - Pleasure and Pain (3:51)
33. Down - Landing on the Mountains of Meggido (7:48)
34. Down - Nothing in Return (Walk Away) (8:54)
35. Enigma - Back to the Rivers of Belief (10:32)
36. Enigma - Callas Went Away (4:27)
37. Enigma - Knocking on Forbidden Doors (4:31)
38. Enigma - Mea Culpa (5:03)
39. Enigma - Principles of Lust (11:43)
40. Enya - Anywhere Is (3:59)
41. Enya - Book of Days (2:56)
42. Enya - Flora's Secret (4:07)
43. Enya - It's in the Rain (4:08)
44. Enya - Love in the Rayne (2:37)
45. Enya - Only If (3:19)
46. Enya - Orinoco Flow (4:26)
47. Enya - Wild Child (3:47)
48. Gary Numan - My Breathing (6:41)
49. Jane's Addiction - Ocean Size (4:19)
50. Jerry Cantrell - Angel Eyes (4:44)
51. Jerry Cantrell - Anger Rising (6:14)
52. Jerry Cantrell - Psychotic Break (4:09)
53. Machine Head - Deafening Silence (5:33)
54. Machine Head - Death Church (Convent Mix) (6:28)
55. Machine Head - Descend the Shades of Night (7:46)
56. Machine Head - Old (Eve of Apocalypse Mix) (6:01)
57. Medicine - Time Baby III (3:52)
58. Monster Magnet - lòóktøyøûrørbførthèwàrnìng (4:43)
59. Ocean Machine - Bastard (10:17)
60. Ocean Machine - Funeral (8:06)
61. Ocean Machine - Life (4:31)
62. Ocean Machine - Night (4:45)
63. Pink Floyd - Learning to Fly (4:53)
64. Sirenia - Absent Without Leave (4:54)
65. Sirenia - The Other Side (3:55)
66. Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 (4:25)
67. Soilwork - Martyr (4:17)
68. Sonic Syndicate - Affliction (5:13)
69. Sonic Syndicate - Beauty and the Freak (3:32)
70. Sonic Syndicate - We Rule the Night (4:00)
71. Supertramp - Goodbye Stranger (5:50)
72. T ò ó L - H. (6:07)
73. T ò ó L - Stinkfist (5:11)
74. t.A.T.u. - All the Things She Said (3:34)
75. t.A.T.u. - Clowns (Can You See Me Now?) (3:12)
76. t.A.T.u. - How Soon is Now? (3:15)
77. t.A.T.u. - Show Me Love (Extended) (5:10)
78. The Birthday Massacre - Always (4:11)
79. The Birthday Massacre - Control (3:20)
80. The Birthday Massacre - I Think We're Alone Now (3:57)
81. The Birthday Massacre - In the Dark (3:42)
82. The Birthday Massacre - Pale (3:58)
83. The Birthday Massacre - Pins and Needles (4:19)
84. The Birthday Massacre - Shallow Grave (3:47)
85. The Birthday Massacre - Sideways (3:25)
86. The Birthday Massacre - Sleepwalking (3:49)
87. The Birthday Massacre - Two Hearts (3:20)
88. The Cars - Heartbeat City (4:30)
89. The Cars - I'm Not the One (4:14)
90. The Cure - Burn (6:39)
91. Thomas Newman - Dead Already (3:18)
92. Tiamat - Cain (6:06)
93. Tool - Opiate (5:21)
94. Tool - Swamp Song (5:31)
95. Tool - Sweat (3:47)
96. Type O Negative - Everything Dies (7:43)
97. Type O Negative - Love You to Death (7:08)
98. Vision of Disorder - Living to Die (4:06)

vizionz of a hippiechild

2011-07-03T22:14:00.005-07:00

the government iz going to kill me just like they killed bill hicks, and many otherz. they don't want people fighting against their liez, and speaking the truth. if i just happen to die from a car accident, or cancer, or a heartattack, or a crazy lone gunman, or a 'suicide'... whatever it may be, it couldn't be more obvious. it waz them. follow my lead, grow your knowledge, feed your knowledge, and uze that knowledge to bring them crashing down, so we can live freely for once. every civilization iz destroyed by man'z greed. uze that information to try to live peacefully for a few generationz. give your children a chance to be children. don't force them to go to skool for twelve yearz, let them play in the fieldz of creative passion, and teach them what they need to know when they need to know it, by yourselvez. they don't need pencilz, or books, or teacher'z dirty looks and psychologikal abuse. let us learn what true freedom can really be. let us connect with the earth, thru her toolz of communication that she givez us. stop destroying everything. learn to live in harmony with eachother and the earth herself. raize your intellect, instead of your stack of dollar billz. make knowledge the new currency for a new world. learn to love everything again. learn to learn.

update: don't puss out, and cower down to their power and cuntrol. don't let them murder you, too. stand together and fight. unite, if only for the one cauze of demanding your freedom. ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge can bring peace. you can chooze to be blissfully unaware of the destruction of everything, including yourself, or you can chooze to uze your head, make them dead, and learn to live in peace. if we let them cuntinue their game of ignorance and murder, they will bring about their armageddon. they will destroy this planet, and all the meaningful artistik bæuty we have created in moments of clarity. but if we uze that artistik vizion to fight hatephire with lovephire, fight their smashin' with passion, take away their little toyz of destruction, and sit them in the corner of their own darkness and death, for their definition of their eternity, uze their weaponz against them, give them an overdose of their own medicine that they're killing us with, and rid the world of their violence fetish and addiction, then we would be in awe of all the new wayz we could live, love, and learn in peace, in harmony with the earth and all her living creaturez. all we have to do, iz make a choice, right now. run, cower and die, or think, fight and live. 'you don't fight for peace, you peace for peace'... david icke. we shouldn't have to fight for peace, but we've sat in submission for so long, and let the government have their way for so long, that they've taken cuntrol of the game, and they've made that the rule. so we have no choice. we have to fight one last great fight, in order to appreciate the peace we're fighting for. you've been sitting on the couch drinking their beer and watching their tv for far too long. it's time to walk out that door of comphortability, and into the world of fear, wake your neighbor up, no matter your disagreements, and unite to fight with sight for the right to true freedom. your government made you complacent and docile for a reazon. so you wouldn't fight back. it's time to leave that behind, and look to the future. if you can't see what's going to happen, and how life might be, then phuking do something about it to make it the way you want it. allow your mind to show you the direction. then allow your heart to guide you along the path. if we don't do it now, we may never do it, and thingz will end before you know it. don't let them have their way. make a choice. now.

eight phuking percent

2011-06-25T23:56:00.002-07:00

stolen (and paraphrazed) from liltecca'z journal on da:

you say taylor swift, i say devin townsend.
you say lady gagwhore, i say machine head.
you say miley cyrus, i say lamb of god.
you say t-pain (whoever the phuk that iz), i say tool.
you say kesha, i say sonik syndicate.
you say justin beaver, i say you're a moron.
you say korn, i say you're a trendaddict.
you say feminem, i don't give a phuk what you say.

ninetytwo percent of teenz have turned to pop and rap.
if you're part of the eight percent that still listen to real muzik, then i think you would agree, we need to do something about this shyt.

this waz my comment:

mutherphuker. i knew it waz bad, but that's just syckening. i'm not going to copy/paste this, but i agree wholeheartedly. the phuk iz wrong with people. not only doez pop and rap suck, but it's the intellectual equivalent to a moth on your ceiling. phuk that. i'm bringing thinking back. i want to get your blood pumping in your heart with fast, angry muzik, and then get the blood flowing in your mind with conscious lyriks. it's time to wake the phuk up and smell the homeless.

critiks can suck a goat

2011-06-25T07:02:00.005-07:00

i just read a little excerpt from the wikipedia page on marilyn manson'z 'mechanikal animalz' album, which happenz to be my favourite album. but i didn't read the whole page, i don't have that kind of time, there'z too many people to bitch at in this stupid world. but i just happened to read this little bit, and it made me want to vomit cockroach turdz out of my 3yeballz. get a load of this cracknugget, he must be so proud of himself, pompous little prick.

Not everyone gave the album a glowing review (yeah, only snobbitch cockgullets like this would have to add their two negative cents, cauze that's all their verbal pigtrash iz worth). Music critic Robert Christgau commented, "If only the absurd aura of artistic respectability surrounding this arrant self-promoter would teach us that not every icon deserves a think piece (yeah, tell me, do you even know what a 'think piece' iz, you selfworshipping goatnugget?), that it's no big deal to have a higher IQ than Ozzy Osbourne (now that's just a repulsive statement for any metalhead. there'z not one metalhead out there who doezn't like ozzy, dickwrench. if you're dumb enuph to make that comparison, then ozzy iz a phuk of alot smarter than you), that the Road of Excess leads to the Palace Theater [...] Its strategy is to camouflage the feebleness of La Manson's (ooh, sounding a little fancy for your silkladen asspillow with the fluffy buttplug, don't you think) vocal affect by pretending it's deliberate (soundz like you're pretending you know what the phuk you're talking about, when you have no phuking clue. get the phuk over yourself already, asspuppet. you should learn to question your obligatorial dysphunkshun) —one more depersonalizing production device with which to flatten willing cerebella (need to take a nap?) whilst confronting humankind's alienation, amorality, and failure to have a good time on Saturday night." (i think you might have forgotten what you're talking about there... or did you forget what speciez you're part of, monkeyphonix).

what an asshole... if you're going to critique metal, make sure you phuking like it first, douchecrozby! by the way, this idiot's an old fart. what the phuk iz he doing listening to marilyn phuking manson?!?!?! of course he wouldn't have anything enlightening to say about it, the word 'enlightening' waz birthed six hundred yearz after he had hiz first aneuryzm! someone once said, 'you don't know which end of your body you want to babble out of first'.

mom commented: yeah, and he is so snobby, i don't even understand what his complaint is. way too snooty to possibly understand anything about manson.

so, i of course had two cents to offer this illiterate brainbum, and of course, some mindtrash to litter hiz cardboard mindbox on hiz part of the street. this iz essentially for all the socalled 'critiks' out there. eat this, you birdturdz.

that dickhead scuntwrangler actually thinks that if he uzez big wordz, and soundz intellectual by putting good wordz together, that we'll listen to him, and agree with what he sayz... what a douchebag... he probly had to open a dictionary to write that crap. i can do that too, asshole, i can uze big wordz and sound smart, too... how about this... shove an octopus up your ass, so it can make excellent use of its inkly tentiklez to poizon your feeble verbikular receptikle till you bleed out every orifice, obzerving az you loze your last inch of intestinal disgustitude, and then you're forced to murder yourself with the nearest jellyfish tentikular protruzion, just to make sure you go to the infernal eternal abyss of phirey damnation that iz the tiny mental headspace you think in, every second of your pathetik little medullaoblongataless life, you scumphuk little braindink, with a pencil in each 3yehole, and a pen in your pineal gland of occipital orbital stupiditude, so az to make absolute sure you can't see past your own asshole mudfest of meaningless existence, and the only wingz you'll ever evolve toward acquiring are the wingz on your minipad, you cuntscope of lustial beastial servitude. how'z that, you little prick, iz that a good enuph 'critique' for you, you dumb phuk. critiks have no talent to make art themselvez, so they have to trash everyone else'z art with their snootycooter opinionz that don't matter for shyt. opinionz are like assholez, everyone'z got one, and i've got one for you, here, sniff this, assmonger. i just wiped my buttwhistle with your 'opinion'. there, there'z your phuking critique, that's what i think of you and your brainpuke bullshyt, go phuk yourself. phuking pigeonraping clownmolester. go crying to your mother now, and get some milky nipple to satisfy your starving trashtummy, you phuking distipitous, dikshunaryless wordbaby. you just got nounphuked by the wizard of wordz, you twatwaffle. in the wordz of my retarded grandmother who'z smarter than you, 'don't let it give you nightmarez'. drown in your own pitypiss. the world could uze less of you. eat my asspancakes, you selfish pusspie. you just got taken down by the mutherphuking word magician, i bet your biscuits are burnin' now, you little scruntphuk, how doez that pheel. i just can't stop myself, i wonder why. i can puke nonsense, too, you talentless sheepclone. wash your Th3rd 3ye with your grandpappy'z douchebottle, and shove your typewriter up your scrotalvag asstrumpet, and then sit in the corner and deepthroat my wizdomrectum till you get a clue, brainstein. phuk off and die.

and that's just my most recent attack on critiks. i wrote a few otherz many yearz ago, but thanks to a scumcrumbly whore, they seem to be missing at the moment. if i find them, or retrieve them from the alien æther sometime soon, you'll be the first to acquire thoze bullets. and again, this dumbcelebrater iz an old fart. i'm only thirtytwo, and i just tore him a new one. we should appreciate our children more.

before we go, let's take a short look at this worthless scumbastard... Robert Christgau (born April 18, 1942) is an American essayist, music journalist, and self-proclaimed "Dean of American Rock Critics". they say 'selfproclaimed' for a reazon, asspatty. let's take a minute and toss elephant shyt at this moron, and try to push our envelope a little.

the 'conspiracy' theory

2011-06-24T15:34:00.003-07:00

i have a theory about why we have so many 'conspiraciez' in this world. it's called 'the bloodthirsty power and cuntrol of the police state'. if you're too patriotik to care, and want to defend your cuntry with your gunz, then you have alot to learn. there'z something wrong with you, if you think everything'z ok, being willingly blind to the truth. submissively patriotik in the guize of denial. if you think all thoze 'security cameraz' and satellites are just for 'security', then you probly need security, becauze you're insecure, psychotik, and need some sort of crutch or 'guardian', cauze you can't think for yourself, you're still a child in a kindergarten mind. just becauze you're thirtysomething and can pay billz doezn't mean you're an adult. you have this 'secure' pheeling, becauze the cuntry you love iz watching over you. ironikally, that's not far from the truth, unlike you. and boy, will you pheel so betrayed, and so conphuzed and abandoned when they take over, and rip your 'freedom' away from you.

some lame crap

2011-06-22T22:35:00.002-07:00

i waz 'tagged' on da. but i didn't want to post this there. but i liked my answerz, so i thought i'd post it here.

1. you must post theze rulez. not.
2. each tagged person must post ten thingz about themselvez on their journal.
3. you have to chooze and tag ten people and post their iconz on the same journal. not.
4. go to their pagez and tell them you tagged them. not.
5. no tag backs. this iz not a 'tagback', it's just an answer.
6. tag ten people. you said that already.

okay, i'm finally going to do this lame crap. i waz tagged by you. phuker. but i'm not 'tagging' ten other people, cauze a: i don't know that many people, and b: everyone i know hates this crap, too. and i'm not wasting a journal for this either, cauze a: no one readz my journalz, and b: my journal space iz for much more important shyt. besidez, i like the one i have up right now. so i'm just going to post this in your comment area, so you know i did it, and can see my crappy answerz.

1. i'm a writer and muzician, and a thinker. be ware.
2. i have an arsenal of good wordz in my warhead.
3. i've been in mental homez.
4. i've done lsd six timez, and i'm well squeegee'd.
5. i waz bill hicks in my last life.
6. i just had to trim my fingernailz, cauze i couldn't type.
7. i'm an alien. i'm not from here. i mean that.
8. i have a truly massive mp3 collection, with no rap. imagine that.
9. i'm the most dangerous evolutionist.
10. i hope my daughter turnz out like 'hit girl'.

groove on, homeburger.

'save the wildlife' update

2011-06-01T03:36:00.001-07:00

it's the big corporation that makes the game, and makes the rulez of the game, and tellz the little 'wildlife saving organization', 'you have to do it this way, you have to give us more money, or else we're going to destroy your precious wildlife'. they're going to destroy it anyway, but we give them the money, to 'buy some time', but the big corporation haz all the money, so they make all the rulez, and they do whatever they want. it's a scam. the more money you have, the more money you make. if you have more money than anyone else, then you own them. something i said, 'the death of one iz tragik. the death of millionz iz magik'. and the death of a forest iz money.

how 'saving the wildlife' really works

2011-05-20T16:29:00.007-07:00

a multibilliondollar corporation threatenz wildlife somewhere. then, a small bizness or organization that's trying to save wildlife, must put up more cash to pay the big corporation more money to stay away from that area of wildlife for a short while, till the small organization can raize more money. and all that money comez from poor people. rich people aren't paying a phuking dime, they're just making more and more money. meanwhile, wildlife everywhere iz being destroyed, cauze the small organization can't raize enuph money from all the poor people who want to save wildlife. it's not about wildlife at all. it's all about money. whoever haz more money, gets more money, just by threatening something poor people like or care about. next, they'll threaten our freedom, food, air, water, and livez. till we have nuthing left. then, they own us. we are spiraling into worldwide slavery. the more money we give them, the more they own us. but what if we boycott money. stop spending it, stop making it, stop giving it to them. grow our own food, and live like poor people for a while. what would happen to the economy that's fake anyway, and only benefits them, not us. who would take it for granted. who would loze money. more importantly, who would loze power. are humanz eazily enslaved. how do we know, how can we be sure that thoze wealthy corporationz are even human. anyone who wants to own humanity, own an entire race, cannot be part of that race themselvez. and to think, they don't want us to believe in alien life, other planets, or ufoz. i wonder why. no one else ever seemz to wonder why, but i ask the important question: why. that's the number one question that will save us all. why. save us all, or enslave us all. it's a war between billion dollar corporationz, and humanity. we have been trained to feed off their products, and they in turn feed off us. where can we break the cycle. where can we turn the table. where can we stop the power. the moment we all collectively ask 'why'.

the massez are people who chooze to not know how anything works, chooze to blindly follow their leader, without knowing what the leader'z intentionz or agenda are. they hate conspiracy theorists, for no real reazon, other than becauze we question what they don't want to question. we threaten the stability of their belief system. and we all know what that can do. people kill over their beliefs. if you threaten their beliefs, they will kill you. blood iz like money now. they aren't phuking around. they will defend their religion and their government to the death. most of them don't even know why, but they don't care to question it. they don't care to know who they're following, or why. but they'll relentlessly and blindly trust whoever they're following, just becauze their 'leaderz' told them to, and took their money, and gave them false hope. an amerikan dream. at the cost of our blood. we could call them sheep, or cattle, or rats, but even rats are more intelligent than they are. rats, sheep, and cattle don't have illogikal belief systemz that they blindly defend with bloodshed. they have a deathgrip on their biblez, gunz, and money. the exact oppozite of what their god wanted. but if you tell them that, if you call them on their bullshyt, if you point out their hypocrisy, they will kill you. death iz not sacred to them, it's just another product. they don't care that they're ending someone'z life on this planet, over their erroneous interpretation of their god'z word, who told them to love thy neighbor. 'thou shalt not kill' doez not have a footnote. neither doez the freedom of speech. you'd do well to remember that. we are not a product. we are the wildlife that haz been tamed and sold. cuntrolled. be bold; say something.

reazonz to upgrade my ass

2011-05-14T23:39:00.002-07:00

here are microsoft's so called 'reazonz' to upgrade to windowz7, listed on their own website.

'make the thingz you do every day eazier with improved desktop navigation'.

first of all, i have no trouble navigating my desktop. i guess cauze i have a brain. secondly, 'make the thingz you do eazier', what thingz? what everyone else doez? and third, it's not improved. you took out many optionz that i uze, so how would that be making it eazier? can you make a hidden icon bar on the right of your desktop? no, you can't. can you customize your taskbar layout? no, you can't. how iz that eazier, what it's eazy cauze there'z less shyt you can do to customize anything? my ass. you have less cuntrol over what your desktop looks like, so it just looks like everyone else'z? iz 'uniformity' 'in' this year? i don't think so.

'start programz faster and more eazily (now you can't even word thingz correctly), and quickly find the documents you uze most often'.

you could do all of that in xp, so how iz that 'new'. my programz start just fine. it doezn't depend on windowz speed, but rather your processor, so you're selling a lie. and 'find the documents', yeah, that would be nice, if your 'search' worked at all. my 'search' works just fine, no need to change that.

'make your web experience faster, eazier (finally uzed the right wording), and safer than ever with ie8'.

yeah, that's not a windowz7 feature, any idiot knowz that. i have ie8, and i hate it, too.

'watch many of your favourite tv showz for free when and where you want with internet tv'.

again, not a windowz7 feature, any idiot can get that on the internet, just like netflix and youtube and all the other tv sites out there, so now you're just making shyt up, you can't even have a decent list of reazonz to upgrade. if you've got nuthing to sell, no wonder you're selling liez.

'eazily create a home network and connect your pcz to a printer with homegroup'.

again, i can do that with xp.

'run many windowz xp buziness programz in windowz xp mode'

now that's just stupid. why upgrade to 7, if you're just going to be uzing xp still. duh. the dumbest reazon yet. also, not only do you have to have a more expensive verzion of 7 just to do that, but it's also a seperate download!!! what a phuking joke! now that's something to advertize.

'connect to company networks eazily and more securely with domain join'.

first of all, that's a dumb name. and second, it's still not a good enuph reazon to upgrade. how many people would need, or actually uze that feature. and i'm sure they could all do it just az good with xp. how about a reazon not to upgrade. one: less problemz with xp. two: i get to keep my stylez and phylez where i like them, not to mention all my settingz.

'in addition to full system backup and restore found in all editionz, you can back up to a home or bizness network'.

first, again, mom'z backup shyt came with her toshiba laptop, not windowz7. second, i can do all that shyt with xp. still not a reazon to upgrade. 7 iz dezigned for idiots, making everything 'eazier' to do. if you're a retard, sure, you'd want to upgrade to a phuked up os, just cauze shyt's 'eazier'. if you have half a brain, you can phigure out how to do all this shyt yourself, just fine, on xp. shyt, i bet i could do some of this shyt on windowz 98 without any problemz or knowledge. this iz just dumb.

'help protect data on your pc and portable storage devicez against loss or theft with bitlocker'.

again, not a windowz7 feature. and you don't need 'bitlocker' to do that with. i have mirrored harddrivez. my phylez are safe. and why advertize two featurez that are that similar. most people don't care about file safety, when all they do iz gamez, and it takes ten minutes to reinstall your game, and pick up where you left off. and the people who do care about file safety, have better wayz of protecting filez, so your 'featurez' are a bunch of horseshyt.

and last one... 'work in the language of your choice and switch between any of 35 languagez'.

and still not a windowz7 exclusive feature. that's just sad, you couldn't come up with one good reazon to upgrade to 7. the only reazon to upgrade, iz for better animationz and transparenciez, which a: you didn't advertize, b: iz so minor, most people would never notice or care. it's not a technologikal breakthrough. and c: i can get with xp.

so what's my incentive to upgrade? more problemz, less functionality and featurez, less optionz, almost no customization, and did i mention, more problemz? and to get the last few of thoze featurez you listed, you have to pay more, and get a better, more expensive verzion. where'z the good in that? people are sheep, they will believe anything, and they will buy anything. well, you can all kiss my xp ass. my computer iz better than yourz. in ten yearz, microsoft haz taken us backwardz... ten yearz. we're no more technologikally advanced than a monkey who sat on a keyboard that waz hooked up to a windowz 98 computer. that's just retarded. pathetik. sad. dumb duhdumb dumb dumb. dumb. dumb.

An Obituary for Common Sense

2011-05-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

I have come to mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

record salez

2011-03-29T13:04:00.002-07:00

question: who needz more money. the rich people making the album, or the poor people buying the album.

you're gonna get your fan'z money anyway, but you're only gonna get however much money they have, which izn't much. they can either buy your album, or see your concert, they can't do both. if you want to attract more fanz, put your muzik out there for free, so they can hear it and decide if they like you, and the more free fanz you get, the more people you have coming to your concerts, and have more concerts in more citiez, and smaller citiez. there'z more wayz to get fanz and money besidez record salez. but it shouldn't be about the money. it should be about touching people'z livez with your muzik. if you just want money, then sell each cd for a hundred dollarz. if you want fanz, then give your muzik away. becauze some of them will get it for free anyway. doezn't matter if it's p2p sharing, or if they get a copy of your cd from their brother, friend, or neighbor. so stop being greedy, like the people you sing against, stop thinking about yourself, and start thinking of the fanz. you made your first album with little money, i'm sure it's not that hard to make more albumz with the same budget. it doezn't matter how much money you make, it matterz that you're working hard to put quality muzik out there for the people who need it.

daddy'z little girl

2011-03-29T01:38:00.001-07:00

you know, i guess it's no suprize that my children were stolen from me. i've seen so much pain in my life, i'm uzed to it, i expect it, so why should it suprize me that they were taken. my 3yez have seen pain and joy, hatred and pride, creativity and destruction, peace and war, life and death, ultimate intelligence, and ultimate ignorance, i've done acid, i've seen the light, and when my baeutiphul daughter waz born, everything i knew in my life changed forever, and the world i knew with so much pain, got a little brighter, and i realized that all the pain and destruction in the world can be countered by a woken mind.

worldly

2011-03-29T00:19:00.002-07:00

a cloudy, drizzly morning in amsterdam
the scent of rayne and pot finding my noze
the crisp, fresh, lucid new day beginning
bæutiphul naked neighbor in her backyard
and i'm remembering the dream i just had
and changing the colourz of my desktop
to a foggy scene, somewhere in england
living in a world of abraxis and my gemma
with this little poem below my second moon
i look forward to starting a day like this soon
becauze when this happenz, i'll know i'm home

sinister plot

2011-01-28T20:44:00.001-07:00

who are theze people who want to stupify and cuntrol the world, and kill all the smart people. think about it. i'm human, and i want to educate the world, so i'm not so lonely, so i have someone to talk to. theze people can't be human, cauze it's human nature that every human wants to connect with another human, hopefully intellectually. but people today are so stupified, they'd rather watch the tv commercialz that the media puts on the tv. who are theze people. they really want full power and cuntrol, they're hellbent on world domination, and to dominate the world, they have to be the only intelligent people on the earth, and everyone else haz to be stupid enuph to listen to them and buy into all their crap. if they were human, they would be pretty lonely. so my guess iz, they aren't human. they want us to think that this iz the only planet out there, and they want us to think that they're in cuntrol of it, so there'z nowhere for us to run. think of the knowledge they have, that they aren't telling us. any knowledge that's kept secret iz not good knowledge. it's not being uzed for educational purposez, it's being uzed for cuntrol. i think they know what's really happening, and what's really out there, and they've come here just to have cuntrol over a planet full of beingz. i think that's a good explanation. possibly not the only explanation, but a good guess. and so far, they're successful. we're thinking what they want us to think. and at this moment, there'z not much that can stop them. they've gotten cuntrol over all of us. they've got all the money, they've got all the weaponz, that meanz they've got all the power, and that meanz that they can do whatever they want. they're slowly aligning their game piecez, and soon, it will be 'checkmate'. this world iz their toy, az they watch it from the outside. there iz something big happening here. and most of us don't even see it, or know it. or care. something big iz about to happen. and something big haz to happen to stop it. i think it's all a setup. just a virus trying to destroy another planet, and claim every soul on it. that can't be human. that haz to be something dark. think about it.

well, i posted this here, cauze i didn't want to email it, cauze people can read your emailz... conspiracy... whatever... but i posted this, and forgot that when i post something here, this site sendz me an email, showing my post. and there'z no changing that, there'z no unsending it, so i'm screwed. but i just checked my junkmail while i waz there, and got an email... the sender'z name waz 'free trial men'z supplements'... and the subject... get this... waz 'the boy who cried wolf'... that's subliminally telling me that sumth'n ain't right.

1-800-shut the phuk up and die

2010-12-09T21:00:00.004-07:00

captain'z blog. stardate 4orty6ix and 2: this jg wentworth idiot needz to be shot. what a stupid asshole. showing people yelling 'it's my money, and i need it now' from their windowz, over and over again, first of all, ok, we get it, shut up. once iz enuph. secondly, you know this world az well az i do. people steal money. you don't shout anything about money from your window. what a stupid asshole. you've lived a long and... obviously prosperous life, it's time to die. and people singing opera style about money, on a bus? come on. first of all, no one likes opera anymore, asshole, only you, cauze you're an old fart. shut the phuk up, no one wants to hear that shyt, i don't care how much you're paying them, retard, you're a phuking whore. and secondly, everyone'z scared of eachother on a bus, the homie sitting next to you haz a gun in hiz pocket, shut the phuk up. what an idiot. and on another note, if the military iz going to be firing 'flarez' into the sky at night, why don't they warn us ahead of time, saying 'we're gonna be firing 'flarez' into the sky', so we don't think it's a goddamn fuo all the time. and that's beside the fact that flarez look nuthing like a goddamn fuo. how stupid do they think we are? well, if we're all watching the jg wentworth commercialz... i guess that question haz been answered. phuking moronz. one more thing... izn't it odd how 'moron' and 'mormon' are spelled so similar. i saw a sign yesterday that said 'i'm a mormon', and when i just glanced at it, i sure thought it said 'i'm a moron'. like that's something you'd like to advertize... well... once again, my foot's in my mouth. i'm a moron. to order now, call one, eighthundred, moronik. while suppliez last. batteriez not included.

to be scene

2010-11-29T00:31:00.003-07:00

('hey you, standing naked in the rayne, can you touch me?')

what iz it about some people
who want to be seen
to be nude
in publik
for random anonymous strangerz to see
for all the world to see
that's right, i said it
i started off with a shock
the ultimate intimacy of anonymity
people who need that
who feed on that
who thrive on that
who get high on that
to share the most sacred
in a way much more sacred
something so real
you can pheel it
when your heart poundz
when your skin shinez in the wind
when some people fear, and run
and some people have such an urge
to join you
to see you
to touch you
to phuk you
right there in the street
to do something so daring
so thrilling
so powerful
to do something... so... natural
to pheel... alive...
scared and brave at the same time
the ultimate cure for loneliness
once you've tasted something so real
it's the only real thing in the world
it's the only time you pheel
to be so... fearless
to pheel something so strong
so vivid
so alive
so real
it's the only real we'll ever know
to be seen az 'such a sin'
until you try it
just like pot... or sex... or insanity...
when you realize it's more sane
than what they tell you
it's a trick
to be forced
to believe in a world you don't agree with
to agree with a world you don't believe in
to be forced to see... unreality
to think it's real, until you see real
and then, to know, the true sanity
and to try to communicate it
to thoze who are still... asleep
to shock someone awake
by revealing the most intimate
sensual
electrik
addictive
contagious
of all secrets
of all sinz
of all pheelingz
of all curez
to shed that skin of rulez and conformity
pheelz so phuking real
illuminating
awakening
exhilerating
liberating
you pheel reborn
to shed that clothing of liez and deceit
to buy their lie, and ask for a receipt
so you can return it
and tell them where to stick it
becauze you're free now
and you need no more clothing of fear
you only need the pounding heartbeat
you only need... more
go ahead...
surrender
to the wind
the sun
the 3yez
let it go
and see how having nuthing
could mean having everything
see what they don't want you to see
and show them what they don't want to see
and spread that pheeling like a virus
a plague for the sleeping
the fearful
the slumber itself
try it, and know it
know that it's the greatest high
to make someone ask why
the truth iz simply, you cannot lie
ever again
once you've found truth
that's all there iz
az vivid az the air on your flesh
where it's 'not suppozed to be'
let the sun shine there
show theze indoor addicts
theze fearful wimps
they can't have all the phun
go ahead
take it off
and take a walk
like walking barefoot in the grass
bring bæuty back in style
bring sex back in style
show them a real wardrobe malfunction
flawed systemz will malfunction
how some can find it so ugly
iz becauze they're ugly
they're ashamed
and if they can't do it
then you shouldn't be able to either
phuk that
don't let anyone tell you that
don't let anyone press their fearz onto you
instead, press your flesh against them
reinvent touch
reinvent passion
never hide your phire again
you were born with bæutiphul flesh
show it off
take it off
and take a walk
rediscover unlimited freedom
be proud of the skin you're in

a short note to grandma...

2010-11-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

you're going to hell, for all the shyt you've done in your life. you're the most cold, heartless, evil bitch i've ever known. god doezn't want you in heaven, you really think you're going to heaven? satan'z going to ask you, why did you have to be so hateful. you didn't give a phuk that your daughter, the only one of your four children who cared about you, waz bedridden. you didn't care. you were too hateful to care. you lived a life with hatred in your heart. i've done better shyt in my life than you've ever done. i'm going to heaven, and i don't even believe in heaven. you're the one who believez in heaven, but i think that's just a put on. you know who you really are. and i know who you really are. you're going to hell, so you can pheel the pain that you've inflicted on people during your whole life, tenfold, even your own daughter. and you know exactly what you're doing to her. you may have her fooled, but not me. i hope, when you're burning in the hell you believe in, that you hear that, over and over again. and then, you'll know who i really am.

man, i love redheadz

2010-10-28T20:38:00.003-07:00

current winamp playlist

2010-04-28T02:38:00.004-07:00

phuk that last playlist.
this iz october twentyeight, nine:forty pm.

my current winamp playlist, for andy.
sorted alphabetikally, playing on random.

138 tracks in playlist, average track length: 5:22
playlist length: 12 hours 21 minutes 29 seconds

1. Alice In Chains - Brush Away (3:24)
2. Alice In Chains - Got Me Wrong (4:09)
3. Alice In Chains - No Excuses (4:17)
4. Alice In Chains - Private Hell (5:38)
5. Alice In Chains - Rotten Apple (6:58)
6. Alice In Chains - Would? (3:27)
7. Altered State - Ghost Beside My Bed (5:50)
8. Bill Hicks - People Who Hate People (0:32)
9. Black Label Society - Stillborn (3:15)
10. Children of Bodom - Angels Don't Kill (5:13)
11. Chimaira - Down Again (4:20)
12. Chimaira - Pure Hatred (4:18)
13. City of Fire - Hollow Land (4:51)
14. Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine (Fix) (5:02)
15. Cradle of Filth - The Death of Love (7:13)
16. Danzig - Cantspeak (4:06)
17. deftones - diamond eyes (3:08)
18. deftones - digital bath (4:15)
19. deftones - lifter (4:43)
20. deftones - minerva (4:17)
21. deftones - minus blindfold (4:04)
22. deftones - one weak (4:28)
23. deftones - root (3:41)
24. deftones - rx queen (4:27)
25. Delain - Shattered (4:19)
26. Delain - The Gathering (3:34)
27. Devin Townsend Band - Deadhead (8:05)
28. Devin Townsend Project - Bend It Like Bender! (3:35)
29. Down - Jail (5:17)
30. Down - Landing on the Mountains of Meggido (7:48)
31. Down - Nothing in Return (Walk Away) (8:54)
32. Epica - Kingdom Of Heaven (13:35)
33. Fear Factory - Body Hammer (5:05)
34. Fear Factory - Demanufacture (4:13)
35. Fear Factory - Pisschrist (5:25)
36. Fear Factory - Replica (3:56)
37. Fear Factory - Self Bias Resistor (5:11)
38. Fear Factory - Slave Labor (3:53)
39. Fear Factory - Zero Signal (5:57)
40. Gary Numan - My Breathing (6:41)
41. Godspeed - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (5:36)
42. Jerry Cantrell - Angel Eyes (4:44)
43. Lacuna Coil - Our Truth (4:02)
44. Life of Agony - Let's Pretend (3:57)
45. Life of Agony - Lost at 22 (3:40)
46. Life of Agony - Seasons (5:37)
47. Life of Agony - Strung Out (3:59)
48. Life of Agony - Ugly (5:46)
49. Machine Head - A Thousand Lies (6:15)
50. Machine Head - Block (4:59)
51. Machine Head - Blood Of The Zodiac (6:37)
52. Machine Head - Davidian (4:58)
53. Machine Head - Deafening Silence (5:33)
54. Machine Head - Descend The Shades Of Night (7:46)
55. Machine Head - Exhale The Vile (4:56)
56. Machine Head - Old (4:07)
57. Machines of Loving Grace - Golgotha Tenement Blues (4:01)
58. Magenta - Eccentricity (3:33)
59. Medicine - Time Baby III (3:52)
60. Metallica - ...And Justice for All (9:45)
61. Metallica - Fade to Black (6:57)
62. Metallica - My Friend of Misery (6:49)
63. Metallica - Welcome Home (Sanitarium) (6:27)
64. Mötley Crüe - Face Down In The Dirt (3:44)
65. Mötley Crüe - Just Another Psycho (3:36)
66. Mötley Crüe - Saints Of Los Angeles (3:40)
67. Mouth Music - Tomorrow (5:39)
68. Mudvayne - Not Falling (4:03)
69. Mudvayne - World So Cold (5:39)
70. Ocean Machine - Bastard (10:17)
71. Ocean Machine - Life (4:31)
72. Ocean Machine - Night (4:45)
73. Opeth - Blackwater Park (12:05)
74. Opeth - Demon of the Fall (6:13)
75. Opeth - Master's Apprentices (10:32)
76. Opeth - Remember Tomorrow (5:00)
77. Opeth - Serenity Painted Death (9:13)
78. Opeth - Would? (3:43)
79. Ozzy Osbourne - Diary of a Madman (6:15)
80. Ozzy Osbourne - Don't Blame Me (4:58)
81. Ozzy Osbourne - Fire in the Sky (6:24)
82. Ozzy Osbourne - No More Tears (7:24)
83. Ozzy Osbourne - Road to Nowhere (5:12)
84. Ozzy Osbourne - You Can't Kill Rock and Roll (6:59)
85. Pantera - Floods (6:59)
86. Pantera - Shedding Skin (5:36)
87. Sentenced - Excuse me while I kill myself (3:53)
88. Shadows Fall - Welcome To The Machine (5:05)
89. Skinlab - Anthem for a Fallen Star (3:41)
90. Slayer - In the Name of God (3:38)
91. Soilwork - 20 More Miles (4:38)
92. Soilwork - Enter Dog Of Pavlov (5:36)
93. Soilwork - Let This River Flow (5:20)
94. Soilwork - Nerve (3:38)
95. Sonic Syndicate - Affliction (5:13)
96. Sonic Syndicate - Burn This City (3:29)
97. Sonic Syndicate - My Escape (4:10)
98. Sonic Syndicate - My Own Life (3:46)
99. Sonic Syndicate - Only Inhuman (4:13)
100. SR-71 - Let It Whip (3:53)
101. Stone Temple Pilots - Sin (7:24)
102. Stone Temple Pilots - Where the River Goes (8:25)
103. Strapping Young Lad - Centipede (7:56)
104. Strapping Young Lad - Japan (5:18)
105. T ò ó L - 4ørty6ix and ² (6:04)
106. T ò ó L - Eulogy (8:28)
107. T ò ó L - H. (6:07)
108. T ò ó L - Stinkfist (5:11)
109. t.A.T.u. - All The Things She Said (3:34)
110. t.A.T.u. - Clowns (Can You See Me Now) (3:12)
111. t.A.T.u. - How Soon Is Now? (3:17)
112. t.A.T.u. - Show Me Love (Extended) (5:10)
113. Testament - Electric Crown (5:58)
114. Testament - The Legacy (5:31)
115. Testament - Troubled Dreams (5:02)
116. Testament - True Believer (3:36)
117. The Cure - Burn (6:39)
118. Timothy Leary - Eternal Note (5:30)
119. Timothy Leary - Lion's Mouth (10:15)
120. Tool - Opiate (5:23)
121. Tool - Sober (5:06)
122. Tool - Swamp Song (5:31)
123. Tristeza - Are We People (4:04)
124. Tristeza - Auroura Borealis (4:40)
125. Tristeza - Building Peaks (4:51)
126. Tristeza - Chiaroscuro (6:22)
127. Tristeza - I am a Cheetah (5:27)
128. Tristeza - Opiate Slopes (5:37)
129. Tristeza - Respirá (4:37)
130. Tristeza - Shifty Drifty (3:46)
131. Type O Negative - (We Were) Electrocute (6:38)
132. Type O Negative - Everything Dies (7:43)
133. Type O Negative - In Praise of Bacchus (7:36)
134. Type O Negative - Love You to Death (7:08)
135. Vision of Disorder - Living to Die (4:06)
136. White Zombie - Cannibal Girls (3:52)
137. White Zombie - More Human than Human (4:28)
138. Within Temptation - Our Solemn Hour (4:17)

painkiller

2010-03-18T15:49:00.001-07:00

i'm so syck of stupid people
syck of being treated like shyt

a pill can't make you real
make you pheel something
make you something you're not
it can only make you fake
make you think unnaturally
once you're depressed
you're alwayz depressed
happiness iz an illuzion
it's all you can do to be content
but they try to make you docile
complacency iz their reality

lozing my girl, and my children
haz made me a god of hatred
taught me to embrace my anger
my advertizement iz suicide
to watch everyone around me die
my message iz 'kill yourself'
put yourself out of my mizery

the tablez of fate are turning
you wanted to walk all over me
now i'm walking all over you
i've lost all respect for humanity
and now i just see a red glow
bleeding over this dying horizon
like a river of my old tearz
killing everything in its path
bringing night to your final day
turning colour to a mizerable grey
and hatred iz all that survivez

now look up at this burning sky
and realize, there'z no one coming
there'z nuthing there to save you
just cloze your 3yez, and drift away
let this pathetik world of pain die

now, did thoze pillz really help?
did spreading hatred work for you
did being fake open up your life
did shytting on me prove it true
waz taking my children necessary
i bet if you had known all this
it might not have ended this way
but you choze to ignore the truth
you choze to shyt all over people
now you can see where it got you
in your last moment, say goodbye

butting headz

2009-07-23T23:08:00.003-07:00

the newz: this iz some correspondence i had with another da uzer. for the sake of not pissing anyone off, or making this go any further, i'll just refer to her az 'she', in this journal. the reazon i'm posting this here, iz not to piss her or anyone else off, but to give people who watch me something to think about. i am hoping that this will not piss anyone off, and i am hoping that 'she' doezn't comment on this, to push this argument on any further. i am hoping that this endz the argument, and gets this whole issue out of the way, so that we can talk about something else, something better. if not, then i apologize, and wish 'her' the best. in that case, i am just asking that she ignore this journal, and move on. i don't mean to cauze any humiliation or anger, or any other emotion in posting this. i just want to share this with the few people who watch me, that iz all. (all my afterthoughts are in parentheses).

(here iz the original conversation that started it all):

The Reverend says:
hey
she says:
hey there
haha jinx
The Reverend says:
how are you?
she says:
good, long time no talk
well kinda good.
The Reverend says:
long time no rhyme
how kinda good?
she says:
eh..just work getting me down a bit. plus two boring days. I went to my boyfriends tonight and he just like..slept.
it was boring lol
The Reverend says:
lame
she says:
wow how weird..
i go on deviant art and i have no comments and no devwatchs..
The Reverend says:
woah, weird... da haz been a little lame lately... inactive
she says:
i guess man
i wrote a new poem and everything..
The Reverend says:
i haven't even gone thru my devwatch yet today
been burning and ripping cdz, talking to people, burning more cdz, watching youtube shyt... haven't even been on da, except to read the last poem i posted
she says:
talking to whom?
The Reverend says:
my mom, bobbi (a little bit), heather... mostly my mom
asking what muzik she wants burned
been adding to my playlist, takin shyt out... you know
anywayz, what's goin on with you, i'm sure you don't care about how many cdz i've burned today
she says:
haha sure i do
nothing really..mostly work
crappy work
The Reverend says:
lame
work sucks
oh, haha... i wrote down this thought last night...
name: the reverend
occupation: phuk occupationz, i'm preoccupied with something better
haha
she says:
something better?
The Reverend says:
yup
being a writer, a father, and being free
she says:
how are you free?
The Reverend says:
who sayz you have to get paid for working
i don't have a job, i'm free of the man
she says:
yeah but without a job..you live with your mother..you cant be alone in your own place to be free. youre the opposite of free. I am aswell.
The Reverend says:
i'm on disability, so i get paid to do nuthing
she says:
oh well..
thats not something to brag about lol you must get so bored!
The Reverend says:
i'd rather live with my mom than have a job
she says:
FOREVER?
The Reverend says:
not az much az you'd think... i write alot, i have alot to occupy my time
she says:
dont you feel useless? I would without a job..
The Reverend says:
no, just while i'm on probation, then i'm publishing a book
she says:
in your different style of writing?
cause i know a lot of people wouldnt publish that style hun
The Reverend says:
no, see, that's the freedom i'm talking about, i don't pheel useless, i do plenty
she says:
im going to college so I can get a full time job and finally be free to start my life. (how can you call working, being free?)
The Reverend says:
well, i phigure it like this... when i publish my book, i'll publish two verzionz... the politikally correct verzion, and the deviant verzion... that way people have a choice, 'well, i can read different spelling, sure'
she says:
i gotta tell you...not a lot would want to read the different spelling
and its not politically incorrect to spell deviously haha
The Reverend says:
i'd like to do college someday, but first i want to make muzik... that's my plan... while i'm on probation, i ain't doin jack shyt... but when i get off probation, i'm moving to new york, starting a band, and recording my shyt
she says:
i would read it, but i know people are spelling nazis
newyork sucks my friends
The Reverend says:
well, you know what i mean... politikally correct iz a joke
she says:
it is too expensive to live there
too many bands live there and arent getting out there..
The Reverend says:
hey, if they have a muzik scene, i don't care how much it iz... there'z no muzik scene here
she says:
you gotta be better than good with your band..and unfornatly be marketable.
theres a music scene many other places
trust me ive been to NY
The Reverend says:
oh, phuk that, i know when someone hearz 'aquarius', a record deal iz on its way, guaranteed, i have no doubt about it
she says:
and it is crowded, no nature, just bad people, so much crime, no good places to live anymore and the rent is SOOO high
how do you possibly know that
and like i said..marketable.
The Reverend says:
well, phuk it, i don't care, i would go to la, but i don't want to drop off into the ocean while i'm recording 'the speed of mind'
she says:
im sorry but i gotta be realistc...making it in NY would be soo tough.
espcially since you are a little older.
The Reverend says:
phuk marketable, i plan to change the market, phuk record companiez, phuk the riaa
she says:
i love the fact you say fuck it toi the man
thats why i like you
but you gotta be a realist sometimes.
the man calls the shots sometimes...and doing somekthing like that works maybe 20% (or less) of the time.
The Reverend says:
dude, you're canadian, man, why are you hitting me with all theze misconceptionz and preconceived notionz? i don't give a phuk about that shyt, i just want to make my muzik, however that iz
she says:
what the FUCK
The Reverend says:
realists are just people who refuze to evolve
she says:
dude, im canadian? as in..I dont know shit? I dont anything about where you live?
The Reverend says:
no, az in you know more
she says:
what..?
I am a realist.
Id love to believe in peace, and I try to be peaceful
but that is something that will never happen./
The Reverend says:
i respectfully disagree... i plan to change shyt, that's what i'm here for
she says:
Id love to believe you at 30 can make it in the music business, but the world is mean and cruel and you have to be the whole package...maybe you do have a wonderful badn at your side, I wouldnt know.
The Reverend says:
evolution
she says:
but how can you plan to change 'shit'
when some people hate your spelling so they dont read it
and how do you plan to change 'shit'
when youre on probabtion?
you want to leave your children behind to chase a musical dream?
thats a perfect example right there of a cruel cruel world
and i hate to say it, but I am a realist, and it IS a cruel world.
thjats why you gotta get a good paying job and try to live
because thats all you can do
raise a family, be happy, and try to live.
because man...

(so i say) you are suppozed to know everything about the muzik buziness when you're 19, and get into it then, instead of waiting and maturing a while, and learning more about life, and the muzik buziness? i'm 30, and i know nuthing, and you're 19, and you know everything?

The Reverend says:
dude, you're thinking that i care what people think about me... i don't give a phuk, i'm not a realist, i live in my childhood imagination, and no one can kill that... and i'm taking my children with me... the world iz what you make of it...
she says:
you cant afford two children and yourself in NY. unless you really do make a lot in a band..and from expereince..I know you dont until youre big. (so, you've lived in new york with two children and a band?)
youre always talking about the 'nazis' and people thinking backwards
The Reverend says:
people think that's all they can do, becauze that's all that's ever been done... i disagree, the only way to evolve iz to do something new
she says:
and ranting about the bad in the worlsd
i agree, i do do NEW things
but youre not doing anything to help anyone..how is that 'evolving' (what doez evolving have to do with helping anyone?)
The Reverend says:
just becauze i rant doezn't mean i believe or don't believe, i know that the world iz almost ready for me, and the change i bring with me
she says:
and what can you change?
The Reverend says:
if you read my poetry, i am helping people, becauze i'm helping them to wake up and evolve
she says:
suddenly no one will be a homophobe and no one will steal?
The Reverend says:
i can change everything
she says:
ive read your poetry
and although you have great ideas
you are not waking anyone up (well, i'm obviously not waking you up)...its all been said before in many different ways (some dumbass therapist once said 'evolution iz over'. if it's all been said and done, then why the phuk are we still here? people who think it's already been done, have nuthing new to offer, and have no reazon to be here, other than to be in the way of thoze who are doing something new. 'you're either in or in the way', -ozzy ozbourne).
and I love it, I do
but its not helping people evolve (that's what you think).
The Reverend says:
ok, listen, check this out... when we were kidz, we were told that we could be and do anything, but somewhere along the line, that image iz murdered by the 'real' world... well, they didn't kill that idea in me, and i'm still alive, and i've had many many many vizionz about what i have to do here, to change anything, so trust me, i know i can do it, you just have to believe in me
she says:
what can you possibly do
there are little things
but really
The Reverend says:
just sit back and watch, dear
she says:
you CANT do anything
no..you have no idea yourself.
its fun to believe in crap, but thats doesnt make it happen.
The Reverend says:
dude, don't tell me what i can and can't do, just believe in me
she says:
if qwe could do anything
i would be a fucking astronaught
we cant
we have to do so much shit
in order to do things
or become things
i understand helping your fellow man
or saving lives
but...do something for the BIG picture? its almost all been done.
and you cant stop war...you cant speak with every country
The Reverend says:
dude, are you listening to anything i'm saying? i know i can do it, i've had vizionz out the ass about what i need to do, it iz possible
and no, it hazn't already been done... not what i intend to do
just sit back and watch, and let me prove it to you
she says:
prove it to me?
Im sorry, i dont believe you, you wont tell me.
I think you have no idea for yourswelf.
The Reverend says:
i've had so many people try to crush my dreamz, but i'm 30, and it hazn't happened yet, no one can crush my dreamz, becauze my dreamz are based in the REAL reality, not this phuking dreamland we live in
if you don't believe me, that's fine, but i'm doing it anyway, with or without you
i've written about what i intend to do, and i'm putting it all in my book, but i can't put it in this im, it's too much
she says:
we dont live in a dreamland..
The Reverend says:
i do have an idea about myself, it's rooted at the core of my being, it's the reazon i'm here, man, listen to me
she says:
i just explained that we DONT.
i only listen to fact..
The Reverend says:
i respectfully disagree, dude
she says:
disagree with what?
The Reverend says:
with everything you're saying, 'that it's not possible', i say it iz
she says:
if i am realist...talking about the wars and horrible shit happening in the world..I LIVE IN A FUCKING DREAMLAND?
im sorry sir, but you DO.
thinking you can mount to some high pedestal.
Sure, do great things...but how will you change the world?
The Reverend says:
it's not a pedestal, it's POTENTIAL
she says:
gonna kill someone? gonna take power? (iz that what you have to do to change the world? what the phuk?)
The Reverend says:
ok, listen, let me tell you about my pyramid theory
we are all blocks in a pyramid, and thoze of us on the bottom have all the power, becauze we support the top, the people who think they're in cuntrol, but if we walk out from under the pyramid, they have nuthing to stand on
i can't change the top, but i can change the bottom
she says:
uh huh
how?
how can you change the bttom
even in your state there is no way you can get political attention
you dont have schooling for that, i assume.
The Reverend says:
i don't need politikal attention, you're not getting it
she says:
what am i supposed to get
you lead, they follow?
how are they gonna know to follow (uh, they're all sheep, trust me, following iz all they know how to do)
what about the bottom that love the way things are (if you would read a book, you'd discover that no one on the bottom likes the way thingz are. ever hear of noam chomsky? amy goodman? alex jonez? read a book!)
The Reverend says:
i just need people to listen to me, they don't have to follow anything or anyone
she says:
by listening they are following. (there'z a huge difference between listening and following)
espiaclly if they are agreeing (again, a huge difference...)
The Reverend says:
not true, dude
she says:
so they just listen
and the pyriamid tumbles
The Reverend says:
i started off by listening, then i started talking, get it?
she says:
listen to what?
The Reverend says:
i waz turned on, and now i intend to turn otherz on
she says:
to what?
The Reverend says:
it's simple, it's like a lightswitch
not turned on to anything, just turned ON
she says:
it sure is fun to talk shit incircles with no fucking point
that is what you are doing.
The Reverend says:
becauze you aren't listening to me
she says:
i am trying but you arent explaining
The Reverend says:
i've made my point a few timez now, but you just want to argue
she says:
oh man I smoke pot and I make more sense.
no i dont
i want to know
if it is a good idea
id love to hear
but you wont tell me..thus I dont believe you fully have a plan
you havent made a point..youre talking in metaphors
i cant just suddenly 'know' the meanings
The Reverend says:
ok, like i said, my plan haz already been written, and iz on my da page... but i know that my muzik and books will get some people'z attention, and all i need iz a few people, and then it spreadz like a virus, and people start listening, turning on, waking up, and spreading further... what i'm saying iz contagious, becauze it's the truth, that people need to hear, and some of us...
have been wanting to hear
she says:
ok..link me
i want to read it.

(mom would like to add) the profoundness of the stupidity just numbs my brain.

The Reverend says:
it's everything... i can't link you every page... just pick something at random, and read it, and then go on to the next thing... but you won't be able to do it tonight, i've written way too much... and i don't expect you to read everything, but if you're interested, just pick something, start somewhere, and it will become clearer after each thing you read...
here, start with this...
she says:
okay so basicallty you dont have a clear idea..
or else you would explain it. (uh, how many timez have i said that it's too much to explain in a phuking im?)
The Reverend says:
i just explained it... 'spread the truth like a virus'... that's it, and you can do that thru books, muzik, moviez, the media
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/22909787/
people WILL listen
and they'll turn on
and wake up
and start talking
you like pink floyd, don't you?
she says:
yup.
The Reverend says:
do you know about the publius enigma? they were just the first step, timothy leary waz the second, darwin, terrence mckenna... i am the next step (actually, darwin waz the first step, timothy leary waz the second, i'm the third)
she says:
you dont believe we evolved from apes?
The Reverend says:
it's done in steps... where i leave off, someone else will pick up, and we will keep waking up
christianz picked the 'ape' to say we evolved from, becauze the ape looks like a stupid creature, and they can uze it to make phun of us, and refuze to listen to us... the truth iz, we evolved from single celled organizmz
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/24991042/ read that
she says:
are you fucking serious?
christians dont believe in people evolving.
evolutionists DO
The Reverend says:
i didn't say that
she says:
we did evolve from apes
dont tell me you believe that aliens were here first
The Reverend says:
i didn't say that they believe in people evolving, they just uze the ape to make us look stupid in their 3yez
she says:
we do look like an ape (ok, what the phuk iz she talking about???)
we have some much in common with the creature
it is so sad you dont understand that
The Reverend says:
and yes, alienz planted us on this planet... but i don't believe that... i don't BELIEVE anything... beliefs are dangerous, beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning, a nonfunctioning mind iz clinikally dead, believe in nuthing
no, i didn't say that we didn't evolve from apes.. i'm saying that apes evolved from something
she says:
aliens didnt man..i believe they are real..
oh god
ive heard of this before
that apes evolved from fucking a type of 'sasquatch' that were the aliens slaves
we were created to be there slaves or some shit..
The Reverend says:
i didn't say that either, dude, what the phuk?
she says:
then what
tell me what
The Reverend says:
everything on this planet evolved from some sort of singlecelled organizm... we didn't just appear here az apes, everything evolved from something else
look at how a solar system iz born, and formed... it starts from something small, and growz, and evolvez
she says:
i know that buddy
The Reverend says:
then why are you saying that i said that we were slavez or some shyt?
i never said 'slave'
she says:
i just heard of that beofre
it sounded like you were leading up to that
what else to read
The Reverend says:
nowhere near that, hun
ok, lemme see...
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/22909787/
i have tonz of good journalz, and there are actual ideaz in some of them, about what i want to do
she says:
i just read that one..
The Reverend says:
oh, sorry, i didn't know i linked that already
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/21441912/
but it's not just in the journalz, it's in my poetry and shyt too... like 'red immunity', and 'shaed my skin', and 'think'
well, hun, i gotta eat something, or i'm going to pass out... but keep reading, and if you have any questionz, i'd be happy to answer them... just give me a minute...
she says:
The title references an idea first conceived by Drunvalo Melchizedek concerning the possibility of reaching a state of evolution at which the body would have two more than the normal 46 total chromosomes and leave a currently disharmonious state.[2][3] The premise is that humans would deviate from the current state of human DNA which contains 44 autosomes and 2 sex chromosomes. The next step of ev
if we are constantly evolving
why on EARTH would we ever have to think or realize it
wouldnt it just happen (oh, yeah, just sit there starring off into space, and drooling all over yourself, and suddenly you pop a Th3rd 3ye, right, sure, uh huh, so what are people doing thinking about shyt, when we don't have to? oops, i just evolved).
The Reverend says:
that iz my spring theory... have you read that?
she says:
yeah...
The Reverend says:
sometimez, not all the time, but sometimez, we need oppression in order to jump upwardz
hun, i gotta eat something, or i'm going to pass out... but keep reading, and if you have any questionz, i'd be happy to answer them... just give me a minute...
she says:
so tool made you come on to this (iz that a bad thing?)
just because we have two more chormosones..suddenly there will be grids appearing and shit
honestly
this sounds fucking crazy to me (i'm sure the earth revolving around the sun iz crazy to you too).
sure we can evolve, but thatll happen naturally, and over time
jungian theory
you clearly BELIEVE this if you want to go preach it in your poetry (who said anything about preaching? am i preaching?).
im sorry but to me this is pure religious bullshit and i cant believe someone i thought was so intelligent believes this..
this is all based on religion
there is nothing to back it up
and many many MANY people arent gonna listen to more religious crap being thrown there way
The Reverend says:
again, i don't believe anything, dude, i've said that. honestly, i think drunvalo iz nutty, but if i took him out of that journal, it wouldn't have made az much sense. you can take the fact from it, and not be religious, that's my evolutionizm redefined journal... i extracted the truth from it, and compared it to all the vizionz i've had... i'm not religious, and it's not a belief...
take it with a grain of salt, so to speak
she says:
im sorry...no way people are gonna listen.
The Reverend says:
well, i listened, are you saying i'm nutty?
she says:
im sorry..but the way 'run around' throwing metaphors and then me reading about this and also knowing your fav band is tool..
and seeing your theories are taken from two major religions. (uh, which two religionz? do you even know?).
its...insane.
The Reverend says:
dude
ever hear of joseph campbell
she says:
im reading this
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/17322227/
The Reverend says:
you can extract facts and truth from phuking anything, it doezn't matter where it came from, if it ringz true, you can chooze to think it
she says:
you cant say you dont believe
if you are going to tell people
The Reverend says:
first of all, i didn't write that journal, it sayz in there that i copied it from two different sites
she says:
and you think it is correct when everyone else thinks its crazy
your beliving
The Reverend says:
why? why do i have to believe? i don't believe in anything! so stop saying i do, or that i have to, cauze i don't, and i am not telling other people to believe this shyt either, i'm telling them to think for themselvez!!!
she says:
these people all did fucked up drugs and thought of this shit, then later elaborated and are making money
I am thinking to myself
The Reverend says:
am i making money? no
she says:
not you
the creators of this ludacris crap
The Reverend says:
to think for yourself, you don't have to believe this 'crap', it's just a phuking idea
she says:
an idea that you earlier stated
and said
you were going to change the world with
but if people are thinking for themselves
they will obviously brush you off as crazy
im sorry, i am a good debater, and I feel bad for putting you down (sure you do. and you're only a good 'debater', becauze you refuze to listen, and contemplate an idea. it's the same reazon religious people can 'debunk' facts about evolution).
but i just find it sad you cant see what kinda crap this is..
The Reverend says:
there'z a difference between debating, and arguing
she says:
i feel the same way for christians. Sure, think what you want, but its sad
im not arugeing
I know Im right.

(knowing you're right, just provez that you're wrong. you can't make an informed decizion unless you're fully informed. it's best to keep your mouth shut, and let people think you're stupid, rather than opening it and proving it.)

The Reverend says:
i'm not saying that it's not crap, i'm saying extract the truth from it, and think for yourself
she says:
theres no truth except for the fact we are evolving (and what the phuk iz that suppozed to mean? do you think about anything before you say it?)
I alwasy thought that
of course we are
it is being proven everyday
but not in that way at all
our bodies are changing
but..thats it (oh, so only our bodiez can change, but not our mindz? then why have we been learning shyt for so many thouzandz of yearz? why do people write books? we can grow a Th3rd 3ye, but we're not suppozed to think about it? what the phuk?).
we are adapting as all animals do
but i gotta go,..
im sorry i riled you up
but i am realist. and this is................garbage? (remind me to stay away from """realists""". they're just another phuked up, misguided group of people, like the jehova'z witnessez).
The Reverend says:
ok
she says:
i hope we can still be friends
The Reverend says:
of course
she says:
good.
send me a msg if you need to tell me something (a note) Please do
love bye
The Reverend says:
later

----------------------------------

(i commented on rabbit's page) hey, thank you for faving 'lonely horizon', and thank you even more for not complaining about it. (if you're wondering what i'm talking about, just read the comments on it).

(rabbit replied) i gave them something to think about. probably will backfire in my face but at least i think i made my point.
---

(she commented on 'lonely horizon' ) I like what this poem is about, but may I critisize?

There seems to be a real messiness to some parts. Some lines ryhme and others don't. And when they do, they don't do it in any order. Makes it a little confusing for the reader. Overall, great imagery created.

But..I know you say you can't believe in anything, but you obviously BELIEVE that your shouldn't believe. If you think something is correct, no doubt about it, you BELIEVE that. The definetion:
–verb (used without object) 1. to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so: Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.

You can't say you don't believe in anything, because at least subconciously, you do. Tool does too, I am sure of it.
---

(rabbit said) can i ask you a question? would you critisize a modern abstract artist for incongruency and structural rebellion?

is it really that important to be exact and literal in every sense and meaning of each word? if so, you are missing out on alot of great things.
---

(she replied) No it isn't. Thats why I am a fan of his writing. But sometimes, it just makes no sense.

Sorry, but deviant art is here so people can comment and critique things. Excuse me for telling him where he could fix or make the poem better. I expect people to tell me the same things. Not all poems deserve a 'great job!'. Some need a little something extra.
---

(rabbit replied) not saying it is, just saying that in this instance, you might want to rephrase your critique differently for him. he might've viewed it as not critique, but rather complaining. rather ask him why he wrote it this way, why he used such a phrase or what he wanted to convey.

everyone's idea of belief is different and in itself belief is a moot word. it means everything and nothing. dictionary reference will not help in abstract thinking for it's too precise and literal. in my opinion, dictionary reference kills the point in poetry.

but that's my opinion. also i'd like to point out that everyone is touchy, i certainly am, and no one can accurately read anothers reaction in type alone.
---

(she replied) Very true..but I hate using emoticons, so no one can really tell at all haha.. (first of all, she wazn't talking about phuking emoticonz, she waz talking about how writing lacks the inflection in people'z voicez).
---

(this iz my reply to her original comment on the poem)

dude. what the phuk? have you heard of the word 'redefine'? i don't even know where you got that definition from, but it's far away from where i am. think outside the box, pleaze. if i say i don't believe in anything, i mean it. people fight and kill over beliefs. beliefs are destroying this world. ideaz are a phuk of alot eazier to change than beliefs. i have ideaz. i change them frequently. i do not believe in anything. i have no beliefs. i don't believe a damn thing. i think for myself. no beliefs, at all. i don't believe that i shouldn't believe, or anything like that. i'll go so far az to say that i hate that word. beliefs are dangerous. beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. a nonfunctioning mind iz clinikally dead. believe in nuthing. i do not have any beliefs. yes, it iz possible. nuthing iz written in stone. there iz no spoon. i do not believe that i don't believe, or anything like that. i have ideaz. my thoughts are very fluid, and alwayz evolving. no beliefs. no beliefs whatsoever. that, dude, iz freedom.

why do you have to be such a phuking pessimist? can't you just let me be who i am, and not shoot down all my ideaz? who sayz i have to do what you want? that iz not freedom.

i wazn't asking for critique. this poem waz meant to be this way. cloudy, vizual, not alot of meaning. it's unuzual for how i write. i don't alwayz rhyme, and this poem izn't meant to be 'correct' in any way. i go against the grain, i write how no one else iz willing to write. that iz suppozed to be a good thing.

'only if one believez in something, can one act purposefully'? and you say that sometimez i don't make sense. doez that make any phuking sense whatsoever? it iz possible to 'act purposefully' without believing in anything. whoever wrote that definition needz to read a phuking book. only if one haz a truly open mind, can one do whatever they want.

and az far az tool goez, and you being 'sure of it', well, why don't you ask them. how can you be 'so sure' of a band you've never heard and know nuthing about? if you're so stuck on beliefs, then nuthing i can tell you will help you understand me any better. it's sad to see that you're that clozedminded. you're phuking nineteen, and you think you're that much smarter and more experienced than i am. apparently, you've got alot of growing up to do. believe in that.
---

(she just replied with this) Wow..my oh my. For someone who people are CONSTINTLY critisizing, you sure are being rude. I was trying to tell you what I thought of your poem. You cant post things up and expect everyone to praise it. I read the poem how I READ it..even if you didnt mean it that way, it came across the way it did.

Just because I am 19 doesnt mean I know nothing. Id love to see how your 19 year old self would react to reading that. Im sorry that Im not smart and on probation like you for doing something stupid. You are a real air head to put me down, at least I didnt have MY kids taken away. Holy shit. Think about your own life before you critisize me, I dont care if I dont know the whole story. You obviously had to of done something purely retarded.

And just because I dont like tool doesnt mean I havent heard or listened to their music. I respect their artistic ability. Thanks though. What a great comment.
---

(and this iz my reply. let's hope she doezn't reply back) dude. first of all, learn how to spell. secondly, who iz constantly criticizing me? who? and third, i'm the one being rude? do you remember our im conversation? you were the one being rude, and telling me i can't do what i want to do. that's not rude? and my 19 year old self reading my poem? that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. of course my 19 year old self would like it, i'm still me, but evolved. think about what you say before you say it. i'm not putting you down, i'm telling you like it iz. and my kidz were never taken away from me, they were taken away from bobbi. know what you're talking about before you say shyt. so it's ok for you to criticize me, even though you don't know my story, but no one can criticize you? who the phuk do you think you are? you think you can say whatever the phuk you want, and no one better talk back. i'm so glad i'm not 19 anymore. you refuze to listen to anything anyone sayz, cauze you think you're right, and everyone else iz wrong. THAT iz just like religious people. phukin... just let it go, dude.
---

(and, of course, this iz her reply. she just haz to have the last word, cauze she'z a spoiled little brat, and she knowz she'z right) You are still on probabtion..it proves my point enough. Bye. (ok, what the phuk doez that have to do with anything? did she even read a word i said? and provez what point? she waz never making a point, she waz just wanting to argue with me, and disagree with everything i said. what the phuk? i'm on probation, so that meanz i am not allowed to write poetry? i'm not allowed to say anything? hello? iz this thing on?

let's just hope she lets this go, and i don't hear from her again).
---

(this iz what she posted in her journal) I recently had an arguement with a friend on here who I won't name, but it was about religious (even though you think its not, it IS) beliefs, and I put him down. I'm sorry, I will always supply facts. You tell me something like that..I can't help it, I think its crazy talk. (do you still believe that the earth iz flat?) Believe what you want, I don't care, just don't try to proove it to me, because I can so easily disproove it. (you were asking me to prove it to you, i did, and you kept saying i didn't. and being able to 'so eazily disprove it', doezn't mean shyt. skeptiks can debunk anything, becauze they throw a bunch of bullshyt at it, and let their beliefs get in the way of truly understanding anything, and ignore all the facts, becauze they don't think they're facts). Anyways..sorry. I am a true athiest. In EVERY sense of the word. (tell me, then, what doez an athiest believe? i started off being an atheist, and i evolved. i took it a few steps further, and became an evolutionist. that doezn't mean i believe in any god, or anything. it meanz that i know that i'm evolving, becauze when i compare life now to life in the dark agez, i clearly see evolution smiling at me. sorry to trample all over your beliefs).
---

(and this iz a small conversation we had later)

she says:
hey butt buddy lol
The Reverend says:
butt buddy?
she says:
just a joke. (not very phunny)
The Reverend says:
ah
what's up
she says:
nothing watched the movie coraline
stop motion animation
good movie
The Reverend says:
cool... i have 'knowing' from netflix... i'm about to watch it here in a while
i waz out all day, driving around
she says:
i worked lol]
The Reverend says:
cool
she says:
not cool (uh, if it's not cool, then why the phuk do you talk so much about it everytime i talk to you?)
but i have two days off
ahhh
im seeing bruno tomorrow. (well, of course you are. how many people just lost some braincellz. how many people just shot themselvez. and you wonder what's dumbing down amerika).
The Reverend says:
i hated when i worked at aohell, all everyone did, on their breaks, and before and after work, waz talk about work... i'd go out for a smoke break, and i'd talk about anything but work... in this movie, waking life, this guy sayz that you work a whole day, and go home, and then you wake up, and realize it waz a dream... not only do they get your waking hourz for minimum wage, but they get your dreamz for free
oh god, i just lost some braincellz
she says:
lol
well i work a tthe keg
i guess sometimes i do talk about work
but the rest of my life is better. (how iz it better? cauze you have money to party with? you don't like 'the man', but you don't mind spending hiz money)
the keg is a really fancy steakhouse
very highclass.
dont think they have them there where you are
but i could be mistaken
The Reverend says:
nope, down here we have outback steakhouse
she says:
we had one..it went out of business because of us (well, good for you)
The Reverend says:
ah
she says:
the keg is really popular in canda
but i know they have some in the states
more spread out tho
The Reverend says:
yeah, tucson sucks for good placez... it's suppozed to be a retirement town, but it's really phuking huge, and there'z nuthing to do here... moviez, the occazional concert, but even the concert venuez suck
she says:
i live in a big city
I love it.
not too crazy culteral
but a lot to do, and near niagra falls and toronto
The Reverend says:
speaking of... have you read 'dragon'z phire' or 'ghost town' yet? they talk about me living in tucson
she says:
not sure
The Reverend says:
can i link you? do you mind?
she says:
surwe
The Reverend says:
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/art/dragon-z-phire-13304349
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/art/ghost-town-13709602
you still there?
she says:
yeah i commented one
just busy hold on
The Reverend says:
oh cool, thanks

vocabularikal errorz

2009-05-27T12:11:00.003-07:00

it's just phuking spelling, people! get over it!

the newz: ok, so i finally got a response back from *visionaryartists, but he, just like everyone else, and just like every group or club i've tried to submit to, and just like every other website dedicated to poetry, refuzed to post my poem, 'all that could be', becauze of my spelling. phuking naziz. so, i'm posting this to try and make myself clear one more time.

this iz my note correspondence with 'vizionaryartists':

----------
InMyDisk3yez said the following:

first of all, i don't know if i have joined this club yet, but i have been watching for a while now, and would like to join.

secondly, i would like to submit a poem, if that's ok. (i don't know if i should've sent you two separate notes to join and submit, but you didn't specify that in your journal, so if i'm wrong, pleaze excuze my mistake).

i consider myself to be a poetik vizionary. i write about our future, our 3volution, and our consciousness. so, in (sort of a) response to your journal on 'art and the sacred', i would like to submit a poem of mine that i consider to be rather vizionary. but, the thing iz, i spell 'deviously'. my spelling haz meaning for me, it's creative. so i hope that doezn't hinder you from posting my poem. i would sure appreciate it. thank you. the poem i would like to submit iz called 'all that could be'. (the poem iz posted in the category: literature, poetry, tranzgressive, open).

here iz my artist comment that i would like to have posted with this poem: first of all, i'm an 3volutionist. i spell it with a '3', for the Th3rd 3ye, and becauze some people say that we are 3volving up to our Th3rd stage of 3volution, and growing two more chromosomez, to achieve 4orty6ix and 2. secondly, i spell deviously. it holdz creative meaning for me. i spell certain wordz certain wayz, so that people will pay attention to that word, or, in some casez, 'stumble' over it. and, in other wayz, for example, i spell some wordz uzing a 'z' if it haz a 'z' sound, or an 's' if it haz an 's' sound. for example, the word 'rezistance', or 'cats and dogz'. to me, it's logikal; it makes sense. so if you want to comment negatively about my spelling, pleaze, don't waste your time; i've heard it all.

this poem, 'all that could be', iz about our 3volution, and our way out of this politikally stagnant mess we're currently in. i have a theory, i call it my 'spring theory'. we are like a spring sitting upright on a table. if you push down on it, or 'suppress' it, it will rezist, and push back upwardz. eventually, it will win, and bounce out from under your hand. so, we are like a slinky going up stairz. in this case, religion and the government are the oppressorz, and people creating poetry and art like this, are the rezistance.

i consider this poem to be 'vizionary', becauze it spæks about our future, and our unity az a collective, in a way that we should all be conscious of. we are 3volving, and we eventually need to join in the collective consciousness, and 3volve together, so that we can ascend to the next level. in fact, this waz inspired by a vizion i had, about our future. sylvia browne said once that this world iz going to end in about ninetyfive yearz. although, many people believe that we're going to 3volve, or ascend, or that something magikal iz going to happen on december twentyfirst, twentytwelve. something iz obviously happening, and if you can't see it, then you need to 'squeegee' your Th3rd 3ye. the symbolizm in this poem comez from my dreamz, and my yearz of selfdiscovery and 3volution. it makes me pheel confident that we are all 3volving, and that, soon, we will all see where this iz going. thank you for reading.

----------
InMyDisk3yez said the following:

did you not want to post my poem?

----------
visionaryartists said the following:

(all my responsez to hiz comments are in parentheses, and all the links are my doing).

ImMyDisk3yez (you can't even spell my name right, and you're bitching about my spelling, just like every other group or website i've tried to post my poetry on. you're all the same, you're a bunch of hypocrites).

I apologize for taking unprofessionally, ridiculously long to respond (you have formed your first sentence wrong. you should have said ...'an unprofessional, ridiculously long time'...). To be honest, I've been considering your work for a while and have been on the fence about it. (being on the fence, or waffling, or flipflopping iz politikally incorrect now). Your spelling, at first read, which you've heard many times, (sooo, like, you need to repeat it) is at first obnoxious and even offensive to the reader (offensive? ignorance and an unwillingness to 3volve, and accept change iz offensive. offensive? really? my spelling iz offensive? are you shytting me? if change iz obnoxious and offensive, then i'm on the wrong planet. phuk, i'm even in the wrong universe, apparently. why did people freak out for so many yearz over e e cummingz uzing only lowercase letterz and no capitalz, especially when there waz meaning and purpose behind it? doez something like that phyzikally hurt you? or hurt your brain? imagine how you're hurting mine). But, of course, once one gets over that initial reaction (which apparently seems to be really difficult for some), some interesting questions arise from reading it (and yet you fail to mention what thoze questionz may be), in other words, that reaction shows there's some significant energy in the writing (do you protest the war, or fight for human rights, or anything important, or do you just sit around bitching about someone'z spelling that's of no consequence to you in any way whatsoever?).

You say your work is poetik vizionary (no, i said i am a poetik vizionary. saying my work iz ' poetik vizionary' doezn't make any sense) - and in ways I see that some of your subject matter is (you have barely seen any of my subject matter), yet I do not see that the method or technique is (actually, if you knew anything about method or technique, you would see that my 'method and technique' are very 3volved. it's not just my spelling, it's my style of writing. it seemz to be eazy for you to post picturez, and consider them vizionary, but they're just phuking picturez. my poetry sayz alot more than most people'z picturez, and i'm damn proud of that fact). Many of the lines are pretty mild (you're judging me on one poem, by the way. i've written alot of shyt that iz far from 'mild'. and so what if they're mild? that haz nuthing to do with being a 'vizionary' or not. if you want to post something 'spicy', i've got plenty of that), especially if looked at without any of the juice (juice???) from the spelling. Some of the subject matter is inspriring indeed (so, inspiring iz your idea of vizionary?), yet it is articulated without much force (uh... excuze me? again, what doez this have to do with whether it's vizionary or not? if you want force, i can show you force), like a watered-down McKenna rant (what? do you even know who terrence mckenna iz? shouldn't you be talking about bill hicks, or george carlin, or denis leary? theze mutherphukerz know how to rant. i know how to rant. i've learned from the best. you, apparently, have not). The spelling seems to be done without honoring or awareness of the tradition of poetry (first of all, phuk tradition. secondly, you seem to have to think inside the box, and think like everyone else. 'tradition' of poetry? do everything like it's alwayz been done, and don't step outside the box? bullshyt). Of course spelling rules, like all rules, can ultimately be broken (dude, rulez are meant to be broken), but when done haphazardly (haphazardly? like i haven't given it any thought? there clearly iz a reazon for it, and i've given yearz of thought to it), and without mastery of the medium (mastery of the medium? you have to be a master before you can write great poetry? how clozedminded. most of the good shyt would never have been written or read if you had to master it first. and i don't believe in masterz. i am my own master), it reads at best unconcerned with the tradition (no famous artist or writer haz ever stuck to tradition. sure, they learn the correct method, techniques, and tradition, but then, what makes them great, or even different, iz their ability to expand and go way beyond what they have learned, and create their own technique), and at worst, infantile (infantile? well, now you're just being an asshole). The fact that reading your work has given me this much of a challenge (if it's such a challenge for you, then you're really not getting it, and you're really not 3volved, and you're really not a vizionary) says, at least to me, that it has real power (earlier you said it was pretty mild, then you said it had significant energy, waz inspiring, and didn't have much force. make up your phuking mind), and I won't forget it (finally, after all your whining and complaining, you say that my work haz real power, and will not be forgotten. what, then, iz your definition of a 'vizionary artist'???). But I don't think it really works in visionaryartists. Thank you (no, no, thank you, mr. holierthanthou), honestly, for the submission. namaste (i can't help but wonder about the 'namasté' in your signature. first of all, if you're smart enuph to know what that word meanz, then you should be smart enuph to phigure out how to put the accent above the 'e'. if not, then you shouldn't be uzing that word. and secondly, you are obviously not the peaceful, loving, accepting, 'all humankind iz 3qual' type of person, but, instead, you come off sounding like every average, boring college professor, who dronez along, day after day, year after year, saying 'you must do it right, it's how it's alwayz been done, and the only way it can be done, you have to do it this way, or you'll never get it right, thus you'll never be successful, blah, blah, blah'. everything in life, the cozmoz, the 3arth, energy, everything changez. it iz meant to change. 3volve, change, crumble away, erode, something new comez to replace it, and iz different, new, changed. we'd still be cavemen if it didn't. the grand canyon wouldn't exist if it didn't. the pyramidz wouldn't exist if it didn't. and all the great artists and writerz, throughout our known history, have known that, and worked with it, not against it. you act like you're the be all end all of poetry experts, and that you have the power to judge whether my poetry iz good enuph to post in your group, but you judge me on my spelling, and not my poetry. that iz infantile. if you're such an expert, why aren't you teaching a class, instead of running a group on da?). greg / ~turance (by the way, for the people reading this, this guy, 'turance', doezn't even have any poetry in hiz gallery. he'z not even a writer, of any kind. he'z twentyfour phuking yearz old, and livez in phuking new york. yeah. get a rope).

ok. let me explain my reazonz for my style of spelling, one more time, so that people can understand why i spell this way, since people are so shocked, and appalled by it, and conphuzed. and someone actually once told me that it 'hurt their brain'. yeah. well, i'm not suprized. 3volution hurts, especially for people who don't want to 3volve. so, hopefully, this will make my spelling eazier to swallow, even though, it's not that big of a pill.

the 'z': i uze the z when it's a z sound. it makes sense to me. spelling the word 'resistance' with two s'z and a c, doez not make sense. if it's an s sound, it should be spelled with an s, not a c or a z. but if i spelled it 'rezistanse', that would be an obvious misspelling, and wouldn't make sense, and people, at this point, i think, are too 'stuck in their wayz' to recognize the word without the c in it. but you can clearly recognize the word when it's spelled with a z, becauze it's a z sound. would you recognize the word if it were spelled 'resiztanse'? no. but 'rezistance' makes sense, and it's still recognizable. i'm slowly changing, and 3volving my spelling style, az i pheel that people are slowly coming into new wayz of understanding it.

when i read one of my poemz to a room full of people, i can ' pheel', or 'sense' how, or if they're understanding it. and that's when i'm reading it, that's without the spelling to 'conphuze' them. i can sense it. so, in the same way, i can sense how people are getting uzed to my style of spelling, and 'understanding' it. some people are too 'stuck in their wayz', and will never be able to '3volve' their ability to change and 3volve our language. but how do you think the english language waz created? it waz created slowly, by adapting wordz, and changing spellingz, and '3volving' whatever language, or languagez it came from. and the english language came from many different languagez. that meanz that a bunch of people, with knowledge about many different languagez, got together, and agreed that they wanted to create a new language. but you can't just make up wordz out of the blue, you need to take a word that already exists, and 3volve it. change it. recreate it, to where it makes sense to you.

i created the word ' pheel'. it meanz to abzorb thru all your sensez, not just five, far beyond five. the sense of love, the sense of humour, the sense of passion, and that's not even including all the myriad different sensez related to the Th3rd 3ye. and that's another spelling of mine. i spell '3ye' with a 3, becauze, in this day and age, if you actually read a book, you'll discover that we have three of them. do some research on the pineal gland.

it's time to 3volve our language, ladiez and gentlemen. but, since it's starting with one man, me, it's starting off slowly. i started spelling 'differently' in highskool. becauze certain spellingz appealed to me, and made sense to me. since then, i have adapted one thing after another into my style of spelling, becauze it made sense to me.

the ' ph': i spell ' phuk' the way i do, becauze a many yearz ago, when i waz young, when i started uzing the computer, the most popular way to get online in thoze dayz, waz aohell, and i, of course, discovered the chatroomz. i met two really phunny people back then, treez and hunny, and we started dominating thoze chatroomz, and uzing ' punterz' to ' punt' people offline. kick them out of the chatroomz, if you will. some punterz were more powerful, and we could actually make people'z computerz freeze, and they had to restart. it waz phun. the three of us had alot of phun, and molded our sensez of humour, and pissed alot of people off. it waz great. but after a while, some of the chatroomz, mainly nonaol chatroomz at first, started censoring people, and making it to where you couldn't type the word 'fuck', it would show up in the chatroom az 'f*ck'. that pissed me off. and i'm sure i'm not the only one it pissed off. no artist likes to be censored. and they call it 'strong language'. iz that becauze the rest of our language iz weak? i like 'strong language', and i uze it alot. i think it enhancez the language we uze, and gets our pheelingz across better. every language haz it's own 'dirty language', so we aren't the only onez who like to uze it. there are so many people all over the world, that have so many different wayz to say ' phuk off'. if you say 'oh, that sucks', well, you don't seem to be that angry. but if you say 'man, that really phuking sucks dick', i think people would get your pheelingz alot clearer. so, since thoze chatroomz phelt that they had the 'authority' to censor people, i discovered a way to 'slip thru the cracks'. i started spelling it ' phuk'. that way, it waz still a 'four letter word', and it still had the same meaning, and the same punch, but it also had a touch of originality. and, of course, it couldn't be censored in thoze chatroomz. it's my own (possibly ironik) way of saying ' phuk you' to censorship. and i'm proud of it. and i'm sure when other people catch on, they'll agree.

after i started that spelling, i had an epiphany. some wordz that have the f sound, are spelled with an f, and some are spelled with a ph. that doezn't make sense. i'm sure we would all understand some wordz alot better if they were spelled somewhat phonetikally. example: the th sound. it's a hard sound in the word 'think', and a soft sound in the word 'that'. the t iz the harder sound of the letter d. so the soft 'the' sound should be spelled 'dhe'. but, again, i don't think we're quite ready for that partikular change yet. but the ph iz acceptable for certain wordz, like ' phuk'. another example, the letter 'v'. it's sound iz related to the sound of the f, it's a 'soft' f sound. and the b iz the soft sound of the p. so the ph having the same sound az an f, shouldn't that mean that a 'bh' should have the same sound az a v? see where i'm going with this? we could get rid of some of the letterz in our alphabet, if we started spelling this way. there would be fewer misunderstandingz with the written word. when you're reading a sentence, and someone sayz 'i read books'. you can't phigure out (maybe till later) if they're saying 'i reed books', or 'i red books'. if we spelled wordz the way they should be spelled, we would understand certain thingz alot eazier.

the 'k': some of the same logik appliez here. i hate the letter c. we should not have a letter that soundz like an s sometimez, and a k the rest of the time, especially since the s and the k soundz are not similar at all. stephen colbert (pronounced 'colbare'... ever wonder why?) made a comment about this recently. so you can see, i'm not the only one who'z unhappy with the english language, or alphabet. iz anyone ever gonna read the word 'logik', and pronounce it 'logis'? i don't think so. i also hate the letter w. first of all, we couldn't come up with a better name for it than 'double u'? and secondly, since our handwriting stylez have 3volved, it's now more of a 'double v'. wouldn't you agree? but, the point iz, we already have a letter that makes the 'wa' sound, it's the u. so we don't need two letterz that have the same sound, and we don't need a letter that makes an s sound and a k sound, when we already have an s and a k. it doezn't make sense.

in patch adamz, the "insane" dr. in the mental home, who waz actually still very sane, or bordering between genius and insane, asked patch how many fingerz he saw, when he held up four fingerz. patch said 'four', and he sayz no, no, you're wrong. and then later in the movie, he said look past the four fingerz, and patch finally said eight. you have to look past my spelling, to see the real meaning of the poem. my spelling iz meant to enhance the meaning of certain wordz, and to make the reader take notice of thoze wordz.

and now for the grammar. first of all, i hate when people comment on my spelling, and they call it grammar. theze people are complaining about my spelling? are you shytting me? there'z a huge difference between spelling and grammar. grammar iz sentence structure. i don't say 'i chicken like soup', i'm not that dumb. but some of theze people are, if they don't know what grammar iz. i know how to form a phuking sentence. there are alot of people on da here that can't form a sentence, let alone spell one right, but they don't get thoze spelling comments, or even grammar comments. in fact, they get more pozitive comments than i do. i don't understand that.

i have also made some changez to certain wordz that i think should be put together. someone back in the day, decided to put the wordz 'can' and 'not' together. did someone else after that take that ability away from us? why can't we connect the wordz 'alot' and 'eachother'. we don't pronounce it 'each other' anymore, when we say it, it soundz like 'eachother'. we should be able to connect two commonly uzed wordz, especially when we say them together.

you may have also noticed by now, that i have changed the way i uze some punctuation. for example, when i put something in quotes, i think the quotes should be placed around the sentence, and not after the period or question mark. so, when i type it up, it looks like this: 'he took alot of acid'. or 'are you tripping'?. i also put a period after every sentence, even if it already haz a question mark. to me, it makes the sentence have a proper ending. i don't pheel like a question mark properly endz a sentence. but, that iz just my logik, and doezn't have to be understood by anyone.

people need to understand the differencez between spelling, grammar, and punctuation. especially before they criticize me on how i write. i am very literate, and very well educated, and i have read a shytload of other people'z poetry. i have read amateur poetry, mainly online, and i have read alot of poetry by allen ginzberg, jack kerouac, and other 'beat' poets, and have read tonz of lyriks by black sabbath, tool, machine head, pantera, devin townzend, incubus, life of agony, marilyn manson, metallika (sucks), ozzy, pink floyd (yes, i know about publius enigma), and even rage against the machine. i am very knowledgeable about many different kindz of poetry, and am quite insulted when people question my ability to write, or my knowledge of poetry, or my experience with the english language. if theze people knew half az much az i did, they would commend me on my writing style, instead of stumbling over my spelling. 'this bog iz thick, and eazy to get lost in, cauze you're a dumbass, belligerent phuker', - tool. 'language iz a process of free creation; its lawz and principlez are fixed, but the manner in which the principlez of generation are uzed iz free and infinitely varied. even the interpretation and use of wordz involvez a process of free creation' - noam chomsky. noam chomsky iz a linguistiks professor. so, for now, i'll end this by saying 'READ SOMETHING!!!'.

dreamer

2009-04-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

there'z something inside me
that doezn't mix with what's outside me
and my skin iz all that's there to protect me
there'z so much bullshyt in this world
so many people trying to phuk with you
lying to you, stealing from you
trying to phuk your life up
to make themselvez pheel better
to make their livez look better
when they're nuthing but scum
lowlife, crackhead piecez of shyt
but it just goez to phigure
they're too dumb to kill themselvez
they don't realize that it would improve this world
that it would improve our livez, if they were gone
either they kill themselvez, and better this world
or i kill myself, and this world gets worse
but i'm in a better place, and i pheel better
would it even matter?
they live to make this world worse
they strive to make us mizerable
just like the government, and religionz
everyone out there, iz out to phuk you over
they're all out for themselvez
i actually had someone tell me that once
that they were just out for themselvez
they didn't give a phuk about anyone else
i can see myself starting to get like that
like it's starting to rub off on me
i may be antisocial az all hell
but i still care about this world
maybe not the people in it
but i do care about something
i don't even know anymore what it iz
i'm writing to people that don't seem to exist
or maybe there'z a thick wall between us
i can't phigure out what it iz
but i only seem to be surrounded by crackheadz
and no matter how hard i try to get out of here
i'm still stuck here in this same shythole place
with theze same stupid lozer asshole people
maybe they are the wall keeping me here
the wall i cannot seem to break through
i know i have the strength to do it
so what's stopping me? i can't phigure it out
i can see the future, where i want to end up
but i can't see the road between here and there
iz there something wrong with me?
am i not good enuph to get there?
haz my life been tainted by this shythole?
i've seen other people make it out of their hell
but something tellz me thoze people are fake
put there just to fool me into thinking i can get there
but in reality, it's phuking impossible
people say that all the time, 'in reality'
what the phuk doez that mean?
that we aren't in some 'reality'?
iz that what the problem iz?
or when they're talking about superstarz
and then they say 'real people', refering to us
doez that prove my theory?
that theze people are all fake?
put there just to mislead me?
doez that mean this whole world iz fake?
that theze people are just figments of my imagination?
like they seem to be in my dreamz?
doez that mean i'm skizophrenik or something?
or doez it mean that someone put them here?
and who the phuk would that be?
it couldn't be a 'god', cauze i can't imagine
a 'god' having that bad of a sense of humour
am i suppozed to learn a lesson from this?
am i being fooled? or punk'd? where'z ashton?
i need to shoot that syck, stoopid mutherphuker
(one shot and the world gets smaller)
i don't know, i just don't get it, i don't understand
this world needz a safe exit, a safe passage
a healthy way to escape this bullshyt
who knowz, maybe i'll wake up tomorrow
and find myself laying in a nice big bed
somewhere in fiji, looking at the ocean out the window
maybe someone squeegeeing the window
for a small dose of irony, or for some syck joke
maybe there will be three naked women in my bed
yeah, that's right, you piece of shyt, i'm a dreamer
i said it, i'm a phuking dreamer... but i'm not the only one

it's been a long time

2007-03-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

well, since my last post here, my daughter waz born march 2, 2006, at 7:20am. my girlfriend left me for money. then came back, cauze her family, it turnz out, cared less about her than i did. i got kicked out of my cunt couzin'z place. i've been sleeping on a matress on the floor. i've managed to save up some money, only to have a chunk of it be spent on a car repair. $220 for a fuel pump. and i've discovered the slow, hard, painful way, that no one readz anything i write, no one looks at my picturez or screenshots on da, and no one comments on anything i do. da iz dead. skinner iz dead. it's all very depressing. but one thing i'm hoping for, besidez a new, nice place to live, iz that lightstar will edit skinner'z stylez for me. let's see how that goez. we're also trying to get money from 104. bored out of my skull. talking to myself. spaek.

muzik for a storm

2005-10-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

so bored waiting for you to get home. sputter playing with the featherduster. scared by loud plane. got my desktop set to purple lightning. not that anyone carez. i mean if someone'z reading this, you've got better shyt to do with your time. i don't know. i'm so bored. the written word sucks lately. nuthing even remotely entertaining. watching letterz appear on the screen az i type. that's about az entertaining az anything iz at this moment. i don't give a phuk anymore. bored out of my mind. can't anything be phun anymore. can't entertainment be entertaining. just get me a tv show that doezn't suck. some new muzik, or something. shyt. i hope it raynez. bring me rayne.

liquid revelationz

2005-08-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

this waz written around 5ive yearz ago. all the little split second thoughts, ideaz, concepts, realizationz, revelationz, understandingz, theoriez, and little secrets that flood into your forehead all at once, like a neverending wave of realizationz that dont stop washing over your head. its not like beavis and butthead anymore... not the little light bulb above your head... this iz a flood of flashing lightbulbz like a string of xmas lights on acid. each flashing of their own new realization. their own new understanding. 'so delighted with your new understanding.' so understanding of your new concept. so perceptive of your new revelation. like a wave of understanding flooding your head. its combining all your sensez (not just 5ive, far beyond 5ive), into one, in order to pry open your Th3rd 3ye. when you combine all your sensez, that iz your Th3rd 3ye. have you come to that realization yet? dont worry, itll be a while till that wave hits you. its taking the red pill, and lsd. looking into the mirror. 'its the big liquid dent in the mirror, when you arent even looking in the mirror.' but how do you know its not there if you arent looking? its all in your head. the 3ye in the back of your head. your imagination. uze your imagination. manipulate it. expand it. then break it open. crack it open. and look up to the sky. and feel the way the sun shinez on you. the warmth of knowing who you are. that you're alive on this 3arth. Th3rd søul from the søn. and what if the 3arth had ringz. maybe it doez. i think it doez. we just cant see them. we havent opened our perception enuph yet. the ringz are our consciousness, and right now we are stepping into the Th3rd one. 4ørty6ix and ². 3arth. numberz. numerology. lachrymology. its all combined into your Th3rd 3ye. perception. conception. reception. this iz what happenz when you let yourself go. when you let whatever hits your mind out. when you roll with the wavez. swim with the current. go where it takes you. let it lead you thru a path inside your brain you havent been to yet. let it take you thru an untouched fold of brain tissue. 'listen to my muscle memory. contemplate what ive been clinging to. 4ørty6ix and ² are just ahead of me.' fly thru your mind. soar thru the empty space in your head. 'rizing up, and wiping the webz and the dew from my withered 3ye.' dont think about it, just do it. youve been hearing nike say that for yearz and never knew what it meant. 'life iz but a dream.' what if you could wake up in your dream. awake in your dreamscape. take a wakl thru your vizual liquid imagination. then open your 3yez and see what you were seeing all along, only this time its real. you can reach out and touch it, smell it, pheel it. then you see, from the back of your head, that time iz only a little glowing white ørb. an object in a dream you thought waz real. 'see how deep the rabbit hole goez.' and when you saw yourself in your dream, what did you look like? 'its the face in the mirror you thought waz yourz. and where you remember that face from. and thoze 3yez that stare so warmly, into the infinite wizdøm you hold within you.' its what you think you see when you arent looking. start looking at yourself from the outside. look into your own 3yez and go thru the vortex, thru the time warp, (leeets dooo the tiiime waaarp agaaain!!!) thru the little tunnel of thought, till you find yourself outside yourself. step inside yourself. 'step inside your head for a second.' thru the little doørway that you saw when you were watching alice in wønderland. go thru that door, into your own head, like in being john malkovich, when he went into hiz own head. then he fell from the sky... ever wønder why? then you see your reflection in the sky. then you notice that you are 6øÐ. turn yourself inside out, to become the sky. then you see your human self standing there looking up at you, and you wønder if he seez you. if he seez your facez in the sky. if he seez your dreamz in the ocean. if he noticez all the little cluez you leave here and there for him. hinting that he could be 6øÐ, if he steps into himself. reversez the reflection. 'dive into it, like a pool of liquid acid.' become the sky. look into it. look into your own liquid sky. ever wønder why they say 6øÐ iz in the sky? do you see yourself in the sky? do you see your reflection? do you see the perfect circle of balance? the light and dark? the gløwing ørb of time. the birrage of empty reazøn, bombarding you like the truth from a mushroom. i think space iz only dark becauze we have yet to turn on the light. if you thru a rock into outterspace, and it kept going, would it eventually hit the inner wallz of your brain? someone once said that the starz are just your little points of genious, that you come across az you travel thru the space in your head. your innerverse. and the muzik iz a TòóL. a vehikle to carry you thru the space in your head. then you come to a black hole. i think black holez are acid trips, the little parts of your other self, that were pinched off from this dimension, and birthed into alternate realitiez. paralel universez. you take acid to change. to kill a part of yourself to make way for a newer, better self. 'if you kill the brightest flower in your garden, an even brighter one will grow in its place.' you take acid to kill parts of yourself. 'dayz away, i still feel you touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me.' to make way for a rebirth. death iz not the end, its the new beginning. did you ever wønder how far space went? what waz out there? and if you would someday see it? see space for what it iz. all its wønder. i think that our dreamz are actually other selvez connecting to us thru the space in which we exist. letting us see a little glimpse at what we are doing in an alternate reality. glimpsez that we uze in this life, to hepl us understand our livez. cluez and hints that we uze to guide us thru the darkness of our unknown. what if you went to sleep in your bed, then woke up laying in the middle of a grassy field, with treez, bushez, plants, and mushroomz, that all remind you of your dreamworld, az they sing of unified harmony. what if you could go to sleep, dream, and start to cuntrol your dream, and how long you stayed there. what if you could stay in a dream for eternity. what would you call it? life? how would you hepl yourself wake back up? what little cluez could you leave yourself. what little secrets could you share with yourself. what little cluez would you find az you swim thru the foldz of muscle memory and brain tissue inside your head. and if you were creating your own dream, what would it look like, smell like, pheel like. and what other sensez would you add to it. and what if you could create a thing called løve? who would your lover be? would you have just one? would it be your anima? your soulmate? your dreammate? what would your sex be like? æuphøria? how high would your ørgazm take you? would you create plants that would enhance that pheeling? take you higher? would you levitate while making love? fly while having sex? fall endlessly while phuking? how sensual could you make it? how sensual, how sexual could you pheel? would you treat your body like a shrine? like a temple? would you treat your loverz body like a temple? would you love that body with every moment you had? would you pheel it inside you? pheel the løve shining from it? pheel the løve in every sense, not just 5ive. would you løve that temple for eternity? how bæutiphull would it be? and where would you take it? what little hidden secrets could you show it? would you go beyønd? pheel the warmth of the touch. the warmth of the smile. pheel the warmth of the løve that so vividly radiates from their heart. the warmth of staring into their 3yez. with your forehead touching theirz. do you see their Th3rd 3ye? can you see inside them? they say the 3yez are the windøw to the søul. the doørway to their rabbit høle. would you make løve, laying on the grass, in the middle of a forest meadow clearing, while watching the sun rize? or would you have endless sex in the middle of the ocean while watching the sun set? then lay on the beach and sleep. and dream. what would you dream of? would you have sex in your dream? would you fly in your dream? where would you fly to? what unknown placez would you discover? would you travel thru your consciousness? your innerverse? or your outter space? would you dive into a star, to see what æuphøria it holdz? what knowledge it could hold. what secrets it could pozess. what genious it could bring you. and a little hint that you could own your own mind. a little clue that you could be your own 6øÐ...

calm, complacent, and docile

2005-07-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

i'm still syck to my stomach that people don't understand how phuking stoopid it iz, that everyone else can get pissed, yell, scream, throw and break shyt, but i, being a man, am not allowed to. i'm not allowed to vent in any healthy way anymore. you've got me all drugged up, so i can't think. and no one understandz this. that iz so phukin nazi, and you dumb phuks refuze to see it. why? becauze i get pissed at stupid shyt? i'm not suppozed to get pissed off. ever. phuk you all. i can't wait to sit and watch your karma come around. phuk, man. but it's ok to watch other people blow up, like denis leary, sam kinison, or bill hicks. they're all yelling on stage, and it's cool, people like it, they pay money to see it. phuk all a you. you'll never see, you'll never understand how phuking retarded that iz. what the phuk. and people say i'm "out of cuntrol"... yeah... aren't we suppozed to be??? look phukin around you. my own phuking mother sayz i'm "out of cuntrol". yeah. izn't that the phuking point? catch on, or the 3volution train will leave you behind. dumb stupid cocksuckerz. so just hand me over to my worst enemy. yeah, hey doc, theze people aren't listening to me. you'da thought i'd put some sort of message in that. mindless. robots. retardz. or... what doez the bug dude say in men in black? barely conscious, un3volved pondscum. yeah. you talk about how the government iz suppressing us, but... we're... not suppozed to fight back? what iz this shyt? who came up with that little plan? they need to be fired and buried alive. you idiots will see. whether i have to pry your 3ye open with a jackhammer and the jawz of life, you will open your 3yez. i am vengence. you'd know that by now, if you had paid any attention to what i've written yearz ago. but phuk everything up, that's great. thanks. rize against the system, or you will die. only the strong survive. and all you are iz all you are. i'm so sorry for you. so sorry. so all hail the new flesh. becauze it suits me fine. this night iz where it all changez.

damnit all to hell

2005-07-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

phukin christ dude. i typed up my job song, added a few thingz to it, and i just lost it. i phuking hate it when i do that. i went to restart the computer, and didn't save the notepad it waz in. and speaking of... izn't my kewlpad suppozed to be showing up? what the phuk iz this shyt man. listening to machine head, waiting for my mystress to get home. it's 5:55pm, she should be home in like ten minutes. so, i have to retype up my song again, and try to remember what i changed and added. maybe she can type it up. i wish i had more to say. i'm so phuking bored. i hate this shyt. i hate complaining. i hate lozing writingz. i hate typoz. goddamn shyt. you go to hell. you go to hell and you die. 3volve or die. bastard. with my billion dollar gun. i don't know what the phuk i'm talking about. not that anyone readz this shyt. and you phukerz who vizit and don't read, read and don't comment, comment but don't ponder. don't just say something, say something. shut up and talk. lord what foolz theze mortalz be.

superior phuking race?

2005-06-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

i saw some phukin bum kick hiz dog earlier today. so we got on the phone and followed him till the pigz show up. pigz basikally did nuthing. alot of good they do. i pictured myself getting out of the car, running up behind him with my phukin cellphone in my hand, get him on the ground, and have mom run up and get the dog. he kept pulling the dog, hitting it, the dog looked scared shytless. it kept trying to lay down every few steps, and the dickhole would pull him back up. and it's 105 degreez, which meanz the concrete iz twice that. and the pigz didn't do shyt. gave the dog some water in a cup, and said the dog looked well fed. yeah, but the dog also looked scared shytless, you mindless phuks. the phukin bum even admitted to kicking the dog! god this world syckenz me. i think this entire human race should be wiped out for doing shyt like that. if we're gonna phukin think that the phuking human race iz phuking superior to phuking dogz, or any other animal, then we better phuking act like it.

phuking rich people

2005-05-27T23:44:00.000-07:00

this dumb ass ugly rich bitch. i went for my shot today, and this ugly phukin cunt, waz over 20 minutes late from her lunch. i'm left waiting with no where to wait, and i see her pull up in this fancy ass car, i just knew it waz her. so i walk in, and sure enuph, this dumb cunt waz the same cunt that i saw pull in 20 minutes late, and go in, and she givez me the shot. this dumb rich phuk, gets to drug people against their will, only works like 4 hourz a day, and gets who knowz how many dayz off during each week. and this dumb bitch iz the one to stab me with her drugz. 20 minutes late from lunch, and that's ok, she can still go on doing her job, so it must be ok. phuk this shyt. i bet it phelt nice to cruize around in that big fancy car, eat your lunch without having to worry about being late, and then just stroll on in and pump them full of drugz. must be a dream job. ........................ [oh, i'm sorry, you thought 3volution stopped.]

warning, nudity and language

2005-05-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

dude, uzing the computer iz no phun anymore. it makes me syck. on da, i have almost 1600 page viewz, and i've been here since january '04. 'nudez' haz 2100, and they've been here since may 3rd. it's painfully obvious what people are looking for. we're too lazy to read, and all we want to see iz titty. what the phuk. maybe i'm still posting to the wrong people? if so, are there any right people out there? i thrive for comments on my poetry, which iz very special to me. and picturez of naked women get loadz of comments. and he'z only posted 8 picturez! since may 3rd!!! i have 71 deviationz, and 15 scraps. i don't understand that. i uzed to sit for hourz and do nuthing but phuk around with skinner'z stylez. now there'z no more of that either. if skinner waz still doing stylez, he wouldn't get az many page viewz, but he'z posting picturez. i post text, and get nuthing. i post pure imagination, and get no comments. i phukin hate this. i've hinted to skinner twice now, to make a new skin, and got no response. what the phuk. i uzed to enjoy sitting at my computer. the colourz inspired wordz to come out. changing colourz waz so phun. couldn't wait for the next skin to come out. and it's been almost two yearz now. i just want someone to notice my work. to dig into it a little more than a nudie picture. i want something new to do. thomas tipp waz right. people will read again. or they will fail az a race. what a boring, pointless existence. i alwayz miss the good dayz. thoze synaesthetik memoriez. wasting away.

imperfectionz

2005-04-20T18:45:00.000-07:00

well, happy 420 kidz. i had to have one of my back teeth pulled today. today waz a shyt day. my keyboard and mouse died at the same time. coincidence? and i don't like the new keyboard. except that it's black. listening to bill hicks. got nuthin on deviantart. and i don't think i'll see another style from skinner for a while. which phuking sucks. i've been waiting over a year for a new skin, or some new moonbuggy colourz. so depressing. now it's 4-21. i fell asleep before finishing this. oh well, not much to say. i'm currently fascinated by this little chunk of exhibitionizm. well, till next brain muscle function. have phun kidz.

finally home

2005-04-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

well kidz, it's phukin april. i dread waking up every morning. i can't think of anything to say. i haven't written anything since i got home. can't think that well. and my phukin bass speaker iz busted, and lost it's volume knob. that so pissez me off. well, just wanted to make an update on this, i haven't done shyt with it in months. i had such different planz for this little blog thing. high hopes. no poetik thoughts. i'm so tired of this. why can't i leave this cuntry? why can't i get out of here. this little truman show deal. i need to trim my fingernailz. never really home again. we lost our home. we had big dreamz for that place too. everything just goez down, down, down. changez happen a little too often, sometimez. and i can't find the fingernail clipperz. goddamnit. 10:23am. i wanted a bowl of cereal, and the milk iz bad. and now my phuking e key iz stuck, so i can't type anything. phukin great. well, i guess that's all for now.

think v²·º

2005-01-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

are you blind? can’t you see we’re running out of time?
popularized, economized, society’z hypnotized
it’s hysterikal; the system’z a magazine, a mass deluzion in the tv screen
drama driving limouzinez, facez blank, and a little obscene
preacherz are the millionairez, looking around, we just don’t care
disguized and sterilized, the suits and tiez, gathering fliez
free your brain, go insane, let chaos find a new terrain
yesterday’z pain iz tomorrow’z gain, but don’t let it fool you, we are today
and what if we were born yesterday? what if we just appeared here?
would it be az clear? that we could hear anything, say a word of any meaning
discover that we are not alone, that this iz not our home
that this little planet we’re on, iz just a boat ride in the sky, a daydream in disguize
just let it wash over your 3yez, like the blue horizon, and you’ll see what i mean
we are not just the reflection in the tv screen, facez in a magazine
everything they said waz liez, from the big bang to the chimpanzeez, oh pleaze
it’s a dizeaze, a universal cancer, and we are the cure, we are pure
we are a mind, living liquid time, an infinite, 3ternal consciousness, dressed to impress
here to learn, here to grow, here to rock everywhere we go
here to share, so be prepared, something might be in there
but don’t be frightened, don’t be scared, there’z nuthing to fear; it’s just a bare... necessity
i think you know what’s lifting me, changing me, 3volving me
i think we’re going in sane, truth for the brain, halluci’nation’ rayne
a universal mind, alwayz crossing linez, an infinite divine
so are we squeaky clear, that this is why we’re here
theze vibrationz, and energy, all giving life to me, a breathing sea
i think you know what’s inside me, and inside you, universal goo
i think you know what’s keeping us from tearing open, morphing to the other side
i think you know what’s letting us spread our wingz, and squeegee the goo from our Th3rd 3ye
see, we both know you’re not blind, and we’re not running out of linear time
it waz all a scam, an outright phuking horseshyt lie, the work of a comedy mastermind
made to make you believe in the one thing that won’t let you 3volve
to not think for yourself, to not question why
why would you not think for yourself, george?
see, i did it all by myself, i just thought myself into it
and you can too. that’s all you have to do. think.

tearz in the rayne v³·º

2004-12-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

[part one: sometimez]

sometimez reality izn't quite what it seemz
sometimez reality iz a dream
sometimez reality iz a nightmare
drowning your mind in screamz
sometimez reality cannot be understood
sometimez reality iz an illuzion
hidden in a house of mirrorz
sometimez reality iz a sandtrap
when you're stuck in a dream that doezn't seem real
sometimez reality iz a wolf in sheep's clothing
hiding in the bushez of your biggest fearz
waiting to chew you up and spit you out

[part 2wo: cleanzing pond]

i pheel like i waz this big tree
finally standing proud and tall, after so much growing
roots, firmly and comphortably planted in the ground
and some lunatik comez along and stomps on me
kicks me over, and chops up all my roots
i pheel like the whole ocean waz drained like a dirty pool
i just want to be taken away, and when i come back
wake up refreshed, and not remember anything, a coma
not have this fakeness, and reazonless depression anymore
i want to drown in a sea of new life
and wake up in a cleanzing pond, floating
i want to shæd all this skin, and start again

[part thr3e: a poem with no name]

a spirit in light blue trailz.
a pond without a ripple.
a book with no writing.
a clock with no handz.
a mind with no thoughts.
a sound with no vibration.
a colour with no light.
a room with no windowz.
a world with no plants.
a song with no sound.
a bird with no wingz.
a flower with no petalz.
a roze with no scent.
a tree with no roots.
a riddle with no rhyme.
a nightmare with no exit.
a question with no answer.
an emptiness with no pheeling.
a balloon in the sky, with no string.
staring thru a mirror, with no reflection.
building a puzzle, with no piecez.
flying in a plane, with no wingz.
driving in a car, with no motor.
eating a meal, with no flavour.
like a cloud without water.
a forest with no treez.
a sun with no phire.

[part 4our: shattered]

i'm in piecez, broken and shattered.
trying to put myself back together
by looking into a shattered mirror.
my piecez pheel like the mirror.
i sympathize.
but I can't pheel anything
but sharp edgez of my skin
scattered across the floor.
blood everywhere.
(you don't understand, something must be done)
pulling little piecez of glass out of my soul.
a hole in my head.
sometimez life izn't like a box of chocolates.
sometimez it's a box of broken glass.
blood everywhere.

[part 5ive: coming back]

sacrifice the lamb, my child.
be cleanzed, purified, washed clean.
broken piecez of a galaxy
each falling into some new world
to heal, and make whole.
(this iz a revolution of the mind.)
a candle with no flame.
a face with no name.
i'm slipping away, turning grey.
just take my piecez and burn them away.
(i'm talking to myself, from beyond the grave.)
i want to pheel clean again. whole again.
falling back into myself, like rayne.
a hug with no sweet embrace.
an emptiness with no filling.
a murder with no body.
just blood. everywhere.

[part 6ix: haunted]

black, like the devil'z birth.
black, like a paintbrush on phire.
black, like art without meaning.
scared, like a fish in the sky.
in a grey cloud.
like a child, lost in a fair.
in the haunted house.
in the dark.
in texas.
in june.
blood everywhere.
and all I want, iz to hear my name.
just take this away. (az it came to me.)

[part se7en: black water]

and then she walked in. (black az the devil painteth.)
like an ocean of dark black mystery, flooding towardz me.
(washed clean. cleanzed. purified.)
submerged in water, az a chill inhabits my spine.
pleaze god, wash it all away.
submerged in water, the blood of the lamb.
cleanze and purify, wash it all away.
cauze when she turnz black, it all fadez away.
the smooth black ripplez, surrounding her body, in a sea of silk.
purified, but someone lied.
submerged in black, I see the light.
it's coming back again.
cauze when she turnz black, it all fadez to grey.
and then another one came.
a puddle of light in an ocean of darkness.
the burning of blue in a world turned black.
her face comez out of the water, the light subsidez.
i remember this, it never did a thing to me.
they'll purify, az the rozez die, leaving a trail of black in the rayne.
but it's the blood again, it's coming again, that will take us all back home.
cauze when she turnz black, it alwayz floodz away.
(it all really came from her face. her 3yez. unreal.)
don't you ever forget who you are, åstrid.

[part ei8ht: a song from beyond]

just let the blood breathe and mourn
cauze the body won't be here for long
just let the rayne fall thru the sky
like the tearz falling from your 3yez
just say it with love
and then you'll know my name.
let the paint peel away
let it all turn grey
just say it in pain
and then you'll know my name.
let it all come down
let the wallz come tumbling down
like a king without a throne
like an emperor with no empire
let the spirit walk you home
let the ghost come home again
let the song play from beyond
let the gravestone cry in the rayne, alone
just write it in blood
let the tearz flood in
and then you'll know my name.

pity party, my ass

2004-10-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

what the phuk? iz that all you can possibly think of to say? that's the same thing dana said, before she walked out like a dumb bitch. that's the only thing mom could ever say. ok, so, well, if three "women" think i'm having a "pity party", well, then, i must be having one. i'm sorry, i didn't know, i guess i wazn't invited to my own little party here. doezn't seem to be much of a party. three women, who are all so much smarter than i am (i mean look at how many poemz they've written about consciousness), tell me i'm having a pity party. well, then either i'm having a pity party, or none of y'all can think of anything better to say. that's the one i'm leaning towardz. what the phuk iz that even suppozed to mean? that iz just so phuking stupid. that's pretty phukin pathetik that that's all you can think of to say. i spit out all that shyt about why i'm so depressed and have no motivation, and all you can come back with, iz 'enjoy your pity party'??? well obviously i'm not enjoying it, kiddo! possibly becauze it's neither a pity nor a party, duh! what the phuk? see, if you could actually help me, and touch me, with any sort of human contact, emotion, you might actually be able to lift me out of this shyt, but no, you can't, you won't, cauze all you can think to see it az, iz a phuking pity party. well phuk. no wonder we're not getting anywhere, we're only running on half a brain. aroze the phoenix az she glidez, and i've gone insane. i've seen the light of suicide, and i'm dying. i'll ask again. how lonely, and depressed, and unmotivated, how lifeless do i have to get before someone will hear me. how many timez do i have to shoot myself before someone will hear the gunshot. if you shoot yourself in a forest, will anyone care? let freedom ring with a shotgun blast. you know why he said that? cauze the shotgun blast he'z talking about iz the one to my mutherphukin lifeless head. my empty soulspace. the body i once inhabited. the blood i once spilled for you. there iz nuthing to come back to. give me a gun, and i'll give you a sign. just walking thru life, blinded by a dollar bill. and the only thing you can see iz how to by me. i can't even see anymore, my 3yez have burned themselvez tearless. just turn this whole world black. nuthing ever changez, nuthing ever gets better, nuthing ever will. that's the cozmik joke you're all here for, don't you get it? you're all suppozed to loze. there iz no winner, cauze there iz no race. there iz no track. no rats, no food, no life. just a big blue ball with a virus on it. and you still expect us to be human. you still expect some humanity out of us. we're all just monkeyz throwing shyt at eachother, and we haven't 3volved one thought since then. the last sane moment we ever knew, waz on the plainz of afrika, 15,000 yearz ago. we stepped into this hole, knowing exactly what we were in for. and now you're all looking at me, pointing at me, blinded by dollar billz, and telling me i'm going in the wrong direction. have you gotten lost? let me smack that dollar bill off your face. phuking greedy, coldhearted, bitter phuks. snakes and lizardz. put the head to the machine, and let's see how far you get. understand, you need to be touched phyzikally. i touch you phyzikally az often az possible, to show you that i care. that iz something i am able to do for you. i, on the other hand, need to be touched emotionally. my motivation and inspiration need to be fed, or they starve. they die. motive. motivate. inspire. aspire. so here'z all my hopes and aspirationz. nuthing but puke. god, i'm so lonely. doez no one understand. not one human on this small, boring, syckening, disgusting, slow, retarded planet. no one can touch me. no one can just reach out and offer their hand, offer their emotion. iz that why i'm untouchable? iz it choice? iz choice the fundamental evil that we have yet to phigure out? if so, then voice iz our poizon. our venom. our choice iz the wind of change we ride in on. and our pain iz the art we sell to survive. nuthing will make you smaller than this. no matter how much people can take from you, they can't take your treazure chest of tragedy. i need to get this off my chest, i get to get this out. i need to get out of here, i need to get off this planet. i want to run away, i want to disappear. i want to dive into an ocean of immunity, and drown. let go of all my hopes and fearz, and just let go. just let go. tiny bubblez of life, rizing to the surface. just let go. just let go. just let go.

nuthing painful az the hand in my head, shutting, smashing, crushing all my thoughts. i know i once said, that if you kill the brightest flower in your garden, an even brighter one would grow in it's place, but this iz phuking rediculous. i have no phuking flowerz left. my phuking garden iz dead. dead like the black vortex of death that iz tucson. how phuking helpless and hopeless do we have to get before something comez to life? how much do i have to water my garden in this place for anything to grow again? i'm flooding my garden, and nuthing will grow in this hell. my garden looks like what's left of los angeles. will no one hear me. will no one see me. will no one touch me. i, being an alien, require the emotional equivalent to a backrub, and a day at the spa. there iz nuthing like that on this planet. do you see why my life iz getting smaller and smaller? i'm thriving and existing on less and less. this world iz getting smaller and smaller... either that, or i'm eating up all the psychik energy. we need a spiritual change. we need a charge. our batteriez are running low. we need to invent new batteriez. we are not robots, we cannot exist on robot batteriez. we need human energy, human charge, human electricity. emotion. running wild, and we can't even pheel it. like a hand out the window of a moving car. like the paint peeling off the ceiling. can't anyone understand. but no one will understand. i am the only one. the alien, born to the wrong planet. living in the wrong world. giving blood to the wrong bank. irony clozez in on me, suffocates me, and laffs at the little boy, smothered in pain, mizery, and someone else'z monkey shyt. get the phuk away from me. stop charging me $20 per breath. but you won't let me stop existing. see, i told you, there'z no way to win, when it's not a race. you are still a rat, i'm sorry to say, but you're just not important enuph to be part of the race. just sit on the sidelinez, and enjoy your peanuts. senseless rambling from the snake at your feet. phuk you.

the coward game 3.0

2004-10-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

just sit back and turn on your tv
watch me blow up another cuntry
i'll uze a remote while you uze a gun
for me, the coward game iz just too much phun
if only you could see, the pleazure it would give me
to destroy all the world'z baeuty, spreading mizery and tragedy
your only victory, to worship your insanity, iz so sad to me
your only achievement iz a phuking pathetik newz story
cover the children, glue your 3yez to your worst agony
your only defense iz to preach morality
hand over your fight to your worst enemy
but this story'z truly smaller than it seemz
how could it be, that one man iz smashing all your dreamz
perfect for the job, i'm bred to push the button, not to pull the trigger
i'd compare your brain with my dick to see which one'z bigger
i know, to you, this just izn't right, me picking a phite
but you're so outgunned, so outmanned, it's criminal
oh, to watch you scatter and die in your city of phire
just give me one true ounce of your hatred
one pure glimpse at your god, to get me higher
az my hand descendz upon your head
your face growz empty, your soul iz dead
your children fear, your streets run red
i never heard a word they said
i just sat back and watched my tv screen
with only silent sound of gunphire criez
emotional rezidue on the picture infront of you
can you sense my detachment, can you pheel how much i care
who ever told you the coward game waz fair?
just sit back and turn on your tv screen
watch your people become the martyrd obscene
can't you see, it's just so much phun
your children screaming az they run
................................. from my big phuking gun

carnal carnival

2004-10-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

i just can't seem to find anything high enuph on this planet. anything full enuph. anything extreme enuph. 3volved enuph. life's eazy and you think you know everything, then your life gets shifted around, and you grow up in the middle of it, then suddenly you find yourself in a place where you don't know shyt. you don't have enuph of what everyone else haz, to keep your life running in their direction. going with their flow. you somehow end up floating upstream, beneath it all. life iz a carnival ride you never quite paid for, yet never quite get off. a roller coaster of inz and outs, rather than ups and downz. i can never go high enuph. i want a better carnival. a carnal carnival. i want to think, and see a carnival of carnal colourz cum out of my head and spew onto a wall in the form of what i'm thinking. iz that too much to wish? am i a dreamer? am i the only one? pleaze tell me i'm not alone on that one. if bill hicks were alive, he'd be with me on that one. come on, i support hiz 'terminally ill stunt people' idea. i don't know why i keep searching for something that i've never found, while theze weedz get deeper az i turn around, and time growz older and i've grown colder, so long haz passed that i forgot to count. and theze weedz have grown where the sun once shown, and i can pheel it, this space between us. what iz it about pain that makes life seem so real. we've come this far, we've invented computerz and internet, and the best we can do with our time iz make popup adz. why can't i find anything high enuph. big enuph. i can only change so much in a certain environment, thingz around me need to start changing, or i need to start changing them. i don't know, maybe i just need some new mental stimulation. a new awakening after that Th3rd 3ye withering bullshyt. i've had all the brain damage i can handle in two months time, i've dealt with enuph stupid people, i've argued with enuph clozed mindz, dried up spongez, running around like zombiez with pill bottlez, trying to drug me and make me docile, and calling me paranoid. iz this a phuking cartoon? did god come from a cartoon or something? am i the only one laffing at what's going on here? a sea of mentally vacant, sitting, staring at the light out the window. the ocean of bright new digital sunrize. i pheel like i'm floating above this necroskool, with a big bubble 3ye popping up between my shoulderz, the only one awake. a monkey on a bike deliverz a telegram. 'you're the only one'. it's a skool room. i'm in a skool room, of an elementary skool, in phuking kanzas. what the phuk imagez iz my mind seeing man. and why iz no one else here. where did timothy leary go?

back online

2004-09-30T14:41:00.000-07:00

hey kidz, we're finally back online over here, and celebrating skinner seazon. well, it looks like the dumbphuks over at deviantart can't handle my spelling either. i tried to spaek freely in a chatroom there today, and i waz so let down. come to find out, the room waz filled with vocabularikal authority phigurez and spelling naziz, oh my. i keep telling myself, they're not real. stoopid phuks. why iz it so impossible for people to get over that one little thing. and they have to sound so intellectual, like 'oh, well, it doezn't add any extra meaning', ok, how the phuk do you know, dick. it's my phuking writing. anywayz, finally got the internet to work, and now i'm stoned, so i'll think of something to say here later. till then, here'z something from a few dayz ago, while we were offline:

suicide note 9-27-04

dude, do you ever understand how lonely and unheard i pheel. do you really understand. cauze sometimez i really doubt that you do. i really doubt that anyone ever doez. dude, and now you just walked out the door without even... you can't even be nice man. what the phuk. i pheel so phuking let down, lonely, depressed, and all you know to do, iz send me to a hospital and give me 'medz'. you can't just sit an listen to me? not even that, no one in this world can even go find someone who'z willing to sit and listen to me. and all you can ever say iz that my ranting iz too much, my reactionz are too extreme. dude, it's about time that this world have an extremity like me, and if y'all aren't ready for it, that's your problem, not mine. quit blaming me for all your setbacks, problemz, faults, and shortcomingz. i am so syck of putting all my energy and emotion in to a full powered rant, to get a huge, urgent point across, and getting nuthing but an 'uh huh' in return. what the phuk iz wrong with you people. you syck phuks, you phuking stoopid hypocrites with your own phuking problemz, are all standing, laffing, pointing your fingerz at me, wanting me to be complaicent and phuking docile? medicated? no, i don't think so. i'm gonna be phuking hostile, and phuking alive, there ain't shyt you can do about it, and i am not the only one. deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow, what you need iz someone strong to guide you. the phuk. this iz rediculous, this iz one of the worst phuking birthdayz i have ever had, including august. i got two phuking cardz, which i have told people repeatedly that i phuking hate, and had to move all my shyt. thanks. i have had to butt headz with this cuntry for the past two months, when all i wanted to do theze past two months, iz be free to write and smoke. that's quite obviously way too much to ask of you phuking moronz. i pheel like a dime hidden under a bunch of penniez. no, phuk that, i think i've gone beyond that. i pheel like a priceless galaxy, eclipsed from my sun by a piece of space trash from your shyt universe. if by now, you'd like me better silent, then perhaps you'd like some medz. one more medicated peaceful moment. don't worry, there'z nuthing wrong with being complacent and docile. if you have a problem with your world, don't stand up and fight it, just sit down and fall asleep. maybe when you wake up, it will all be better. just take your medz, it will all be over soon. phuk you, i won't do what you tell me. phuk you, i won't do what you tell me. phuk you, i won't do what you tell me. phuk you, i won't do what you tell me. anger iz a gift, and i won't be kept down, in poverty, there iz no democracy. i watched our soulz burning over oil. a politician got no pheelin, it makes my mutherphukin cold blood boil. you'll never understand me, or see my fight. you call me blind, well i see your line of sight. you will never escape me. i am your salvation, and your judgment day. your armageddon. i am the terrorist on the tv screen, brought to you by fame and money, sold to you by your government, for your soul and your mind, suffocating you till the dawn of time. my stomach iz filled with the burden of your ignorance. out of my mind, gun up to the mouth, no pretention, execution, live and learn, rape and turn. fret not family, nor prejudged army, this iz for me, and me only, cowardz only try it. not worth the time to try, to replenish a rotting life, i'll end the problem, facing nuthing, phuk you off, phuk you all. tortured history, addict of mizery, this expozez me, for weakness iz a magnet, watch me do it, do it, do it. why would you help anyone who doezn't want it, doezn't need it, doezn't want your shyt advice, when a mind'z made up to go ahead and die. what's done iz done and gone, so why try? decending down. descend the shadez of night. across a blackened sky. you'll never hear the rage behind my wordz, you'll never pheel the anger under my tongue, you only see what you chooze to see, the hypocrite of diversity, never seeing me, but judging what i'm meant to see, filling my 3yez with your insanity, deluzional dizeaze of humanity. another lesson you'll never learn. dude, where'z my planet. this iz not my home. the whole world being forced to spaek english, yet no one spaeks my language. no one understandz me. a soul made of sirius matter, trapped in a body made of 3arth dust, and no adapter, no communication. standing in a room full of people, screaming out the problemz with your world, and seeing no one turn a head. no 3ye contact. don't look at him, he might be insane. something'z wrong with him. but nuthing can ever be wrong with our world, cauze our leaderz tell us so. when i'm hiding, when i need it, it lets me breathe. for our handle, on this life, i don't believe. would you look at me now. can you tell i'm a man, with the scarz on my wrists to prove i'll try again. try to die again. try to live thru this night. try to die again. mother'z angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress, unfulfilled. again. my world iz unaffected, there iz an exit here, i say it iz and it's true. there iz a dream inside a dream, i'm wide awake, the more i sleep, you'll understand when i'm dead. i went to god just to see, and i waz looking at me, saw heaven and hell were liez, when i'm god, everyone diez. one shot and the world gets smaller. each thing i show you iz a piece of my death. some part of me haz to die tonight. this part of me must die tonight. i must die tonight. i can pheel another head growing back. it's another wave of mind attack. and now the world iz turning black. no salvation. no forgiveness. but this iz your world, not mine. i don't live here any more than you do. i don't breathe any more air than you do. the phuk. i am the weight on my end of the scale, tipping it my way. the tipper of your gore. the digital pimp for your tekgnologikal whore. bitch, where'z my money.

if at first, you don't understand, read, read again.

if all you're hearing iz glamflashymetal egodick guitar soloz, then you've still got another ear to open. if all you're seeing iz your weird uncle that ran away and never quite came back, then you're looking at the wrong family member. the son of amerika iz spaeking to you. there'z a hypocrite, a procrastinator, and a mental poet, all going to new york. who gets famous first? the dead rock star. the smackhead with a voice. motherheart. a drug with a death. we fight fire with phire. we fight war with drugz. i fight censorship with poetik venom and a Th3rd 3ye. digital lsd. i fight censorship with nudity, not violence. i got my lunchbox and i'm armed real well. instead of writing with my pen, maybe i should just stab you in the 3ye with it. 9:26am. if you really can kill your fanz with poetry, let me be the first one to do that. cauze you all dezerve to die. i'll weild the pen of death, cauze i'm the only one who can.

you're a rat. you're on a frame with wheelz. you're on a racetrack, with all the other rats. on the track infront of you, there are carefully placed little speedbumps. your frame holdz a stack of dollar billz, that you stand on, az the frame rollz it's way down the track. az it rollz, the wheelz go over the speedbumps, but the dollar billz beneath the frame level get stuck behind the speedbump. each rat iz given a different size stack of dollar billz. it's a hilarious rat race. let's all sit back and watch the shorter stacks get stuck at each speedbump, and watch the rats suffer and die, hahahahahaha. let's give bill hicks and the reverend the shortest stacks, cauze they actually think they're cool.

i've come to realize, with every little glimpse, you fade. i waz told that i could fly, when least expected, cloud connected. every little note iz a work of art, perfection, power and pride. no one can ever tell you how to make your muzik. metamuzikal.

timeless (part2)

2004-09-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

time goez by so slowly here
so alone without you here
time hidez a shimmering light
ocean tidez of a brilliant white
your time iz a dream of mine
a mystery in the puzzle beneath me
floating mindlessly in the puddle above me
senseless, a rhyme without a reazon
lifeless, an action without a cauze
flowing like a scent thru the air
i never told you life's game waz fair
time crawlz by so slowly here
so alone without a name
just bewildered by the life in your 3yez
come see me thru the circus mirrorz
some child told you it wazn't a game
i thought by now, you'd know my name

dude, whatever

2004-09-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

well, happy terror day kidz. let's celebrate this wonderful day by watching cnn, and trying to think of something that's not scary. how desensitized are we? unaware of what's not going thru your head. oh, don't worry, i'm just making no sense and conphuzing myself. 10:13am. do good thingz, lunchboy. sit and componder a free world. try to recall the moment we all wake up. this moment. nonsense. it's just something that meanz nuthing. this moment iz when we all realize, bin laden iz on tv, and we're staring at synthaetik shellz, bodiez of text, rather than bodiez of nude bæuty. creationz of nonexistence, and no one readz, no one givez a phuk. a moment of silence for something other than cnn'z topik of the day. this day. today. this moment. try to pheel something outside yourself. try to see thru the screen, look thru the city lights, out into the actual sea of existence. speak nonsense. let the mind wonder. who'z listening anyway. another set of 3yez to look into. sometimez, nuthing matterz more than the wordz on the page. and sometimez it's az superficial az the screen you're staring at. shaking your head, waking your 3yez, you come out of a momentary thought coma, like coming out of water for air, and notice that little w and hiz lizardbitch are nuthing but fleshy suits covering green acid smoke, holding their handz to their membrane for the song of their nation. their song of blind, bloody, greedy patriotizm. later on cnn, bin laden iz still loose in the world, oh no. can you just take one moment, and lòók away from the fearmachine, and not think paranoia iz the latest trend. step into something vizually stimulating, like nudity. let's celebrate today by being naked, and smoking pot. let's celebrate today with a song, shall we? let's see... we'll dig up an old good one for ya. how about...

‹ · ~ • º ° ` ` ` § µ æ Ð · ÌvÍ y · § k i N ´ ´ ´ ° º • ~ · › I can þµeel ånøther wave cøming øn ~ It's ånøther layer øf §kin þeeling øff ~ If yøu kill the brightest fløwer in yøur garden ~ ån even brighter øne will grøw in it’s place ~ -‡- ~ §hæd the head tø grøw a new head ~ Kill my mˆnd and watch the wørld change ~ §hæd my skin tø grøw a new skin ~ Free my søul and þµeel my mˆnd change ~ Learn this lessøn and save søme time ~ §ee their liez and let my mˆnd change ~ (My ƒuture vøice) Søme part øf me haz tø die tønight. This part øf me must die tønight. I must die tønight. ~ ‡ can þµeel ånøther head grøwing back ~ It's ånøther wave øf mˆnd åttack ~ ånd nøw the wørld iz turning ßlack ~ §ø here I stand ~ ‡'m dawning new flesh ~ ånd this iz what ‡ see with my new 3yez ~ §ømething haz tø change nøw ~ §ømeøne'z gøtta empty the trash ~ wash åway åll this ignørance ~ ånd let møther nature grøw a new flesh ~ (Mansøn) Cut the head øff. Grøwz back hard. ‡ åm the hydra. Nøw yøu'll see yøur star. ~ we never knew høw bad it waz ~ we never saw høw sad this waz ~ ånd nøw I knøw why ‡ åm here ~ Tø shøw the truth and make it clear ~ That time haz cøme tø make a change ~ §hæd yøur head tø grøw a new head ~ §høw yøur søul and þµeel yøur mˆnd change ~ §hæd yøur flesh tø grøw a new flesh ~ Free yøur mˆnd and watch the wørld change

well there ya go kidz, how'z that to start the day off with. i still can't find half my writingz, most notes. need to type up think 2.0 and the coward game. need to smoke a bowl. bored off my ass. phukin nuthin on tv. and i'm in a bad, tired phukin mood. my stupid mother wants to publish some of my shyt in a local paper. why are people so phuking stupid. why am i the only one with a brain. and why am i the only one who thinks so. everyone else thinks they're so much smarter than me, or that they've got it right, cauze they do what everyone else doez, cauze they have to be right, they're too scared to be wrong. whatever. assorted ramblingz with no direction, only colour. well, at least we got a chunk out. this day so far bringz blandness and boredom, a rye, satyrikal, humourless, black tar pissphunk. whatever the phuk that iz. just turn back to your tv, and watch the moron with the gaping fishhole of a jawmouth shout about what your cuntry lost three yearz ago. more to come az soon az i can think again.

dissidence

2004-09-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

izn't it amazing that when a man standz up against hiz cuntry, he iz not only completely alone, but viewed az wrong, insane, and scary, when he seez the cuntry az being wrong, insane, and scary. the differencez between him and hiz cuntry are magnified, even exaggerated, fueled by the phire, the war between the people, and the man. the human animal should understand that there iz something wrong with it's environment. the human animal should understand that there iz something wrong with it's environment. everyone just needz to relax, pull the government syphon from their brain, and inhale a huge fresh dose of bill hicks. oh and by the way, how bullshyt of them to make me pheel deluzional for having written 4our albumz, and still haven't published them, oh, so, that meanz they aren't even written, they don't count? you'll deny my product before it's even released? you fascistnaziscumphukbastard!
god, what a bunch of moronz. lord, what foolz theze mortalz be.

(here'z something from 9-2-04) if only i could form a telepathik connection with my cat, then i could keep constant watch out my window for pigz. if only i could form a telepathik connection with my girlfriend, then she could understand the pain i'm in. but why am i so cut off, so kept inside, bottled up, disconnected, sleepless nights, dreaming awake, dreaming alone. 4:20am 9-2-04. i can't sleep becauze i'm in pain. but i can't smoke a bowl, cauze you heartless phuks want me to get dressed, and go hide outside behind a bush to smoke a bowl. i tried smoking just a cigarrette, it doezn't work, it doezn't help with the pain. when i would see the word 'reverend', i would get mixed pheelingz, a sense of conphuzion, disilluzionment, so i made up my own definition that discribed all thoze pheelingz of conphuzion and frustration. keep having a reoccurring dream of muzik store with huge tshirts and oversized slayer boxer shorts. had dream of fighting with mom over how to park her car in our trailertrash parking spot. get the phuk out of my head bitch, and hand over the phuking keyz, you trophy holding phuk. i can't sleep becauze i'm suffering from the worst constipation ever, and the best shyt you got for me iz colace, or metaphukinmucil? and you won't let me smoke pot, and it's the only thing that takes the pain away. your shyt iz worthless. and you want me to suffer. this pain coming out of me slowly and painfully, iz a slow, painful writing process, warning me that i'm about to go metaphukinmuzikal on your ass. this time around, it waz no fairy tale, this waz no girl, interrupted, you wanna know what i saw this time around? i'll tell you what i saw this time. i saw a bunch of soulless pussiez with no phire left. no ballz. if you don't stand up for who you are, you are shyt. if you don't tell thoze who persecute you to shove a shotgun down their throats and phuk off, you are nuthing. who the phuk are you to tell me what to do in a free cunt ry. you make in sanity just az illegal and demonized az marijuana. · þ h u k · y ø u · . suck shotgun metal and phuk off. let freedom ring with a shotgun blast, mutherphuker. grow some nuts and pry yourself a new 3yehole. trepan yourself the quick way. pussy. you want me to believe everything you say, and you can't say shyt worth anything, any meaning, cauze you chooze to live your life around mental cowardz, retarded pussiez, living blind and paranoid in a scary world where people want you to get dressed and hide to smoke pot, not only hiding every freedom you ever fought for, but hiding your very flesh, in silent protest against the lawz you're still fighting against. when are you gonna start this fight? when will you stand up and drop some nuts? when will you stick your fist in the air? what iz it that you want me to believe? what iz it that you want me to slave my heart away for? in this world of shyt? i'm about to get metamuzikal on all of you, and you can't even predict it. what a bunch of psychik amputeez. taken away from every footholding freedom you ever knew, just to behave, cauze you're too paranoid to stand up and speak for yourself, fight for yourself, start running towardz instead of from, full force, head on, against the storm of life, or you will get blown down, obliterated by 3volution. phuking coward. i want my coward song back, you gutless, nutless phuk. i want my rights back. i want my fight back. 6am, and still, no life, no muzik, no sleep. your addiction to paranoia makes you weak and worthless, and it pheedz on down the line, like blood thru veinz, your mother being the main artery. your halo iz slipping down, to choke you. loss of memory, loss of life, loss of innocence, forgive me father, for what i'm about to see, to pheel, to think. i don't want it, i just need it, to breathe, to pheel, to know i'm alive. i'll keep digging till i pheel something. shoulder deep within the borderline, relax, turn around and take my hand. there are timez when all the world'z asleep, the questionz run too deep, for such a simple man. won't you pleaze, pleaze, tell me what we've learned, i know it soundz absurd, but pleaze tell me who i am.

bored out of my skull

2004-09-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

dude, why can't i think of anything to write, say, do, think, i pheel stoopid. maybe it's this lame ass movie on. waiting for skinner seazon. still don't know if i'm diggin this whole thing at the moment, getting uzed to it. still reconvincing myself of the fact that i can say whatever the phuk i want. i don't know, maybe just deluzional again. just phuking bored. just testing out the page to see what all i can do. where can i post my picture. wish it could look different though. digital diversity. letting my food get cold. playing devin townzend deadhead over and over. gotta change the channel. 4:20pm. going thru mp3z, deleting copiez. i am so syck of packing and moving, packing and moving. i don't mind getting rid of alot of shyt, i'm fine with that, alot of the shyt we have iz useless shyt, that we could do without. i just fear going thru the pilez of shyt to find all the shyt we want to keep. what i want to do iz, if we can turn the tv off, i'll sit next to a bunch of boxez, one labelled 'found shyt', and one labelled 'trash', which i will take out often, and you start digging thru the pile, and hand me halfway organized shyt, and i'll organize it and put it in the boxez, and when you get tired of standing, we'll switch, but i want you to start off with all the paper shyt in this front table pile, cauze you'll get stuck reading it, and i don't want to touch it. make sense? asking too much? eh? i mean, i barely have enuph time to go thru the mp3z enuph to make a playlist. man. damn. it's not that i want you to do it all, it's just that i'm syck of doing it and don't want to. so... iz this a worthy post yet?

my baeutiphul

2004-09-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

just posting from my email address, just to see if it works. well apparently i can't post my phunky letterz thru hotmail, but i can still post. but hotmail won't let me save contacts. bullshyt. phuk that hotmail shyt. they need to make it eazier to post links and picturez on here. i'm waiting for you to get home. alwayz waiting for you to cum home. i'm fantasizing about you, and reading someone else'z fantasy on this blog thing. i love you, my baeutiphul. come home soon. bored out of my phuking skull. i'm constantly editing and tweaking shyt here and there, adding shyt all over the place, like links to my favourite sites, hidden in the text. click the orange shyt. yeah. watching 'serving sara', and trying to slowly phigure out how to take everything of mine off ozztek.tripod.com, and put it on here, cauze tripod iz some evil shyt, and hey there'z nudity on tv, uh... and... uh... so i can transfer this to ozztek.cjb.net. that will take for phuking ever.

(from ozztek): ah phukin hell.

first post

2004-09-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

September 3, 2004, 10:22am. ok folks, here it iz, metamorphosis online v1.0, hope you dig it. this blogger shyt iz pretty cool. online journal... for free... whodathunkit? and oh yeah, everything on this particular free piece of webspace, incase you're a total moron, iz © The Reverend, Metamørphøsis Indüstriez. ok well, i'm stoned, and i think everyone should smoke more pot today. get really stoned, and have a laid back, groovy day. and that's about all i have to say for now. so here'z a song:

‹ · ~ • º ° ` ` ` Å q u a r i u s ´ ´ ´ ° º • ~ · › I’m killing it åll ~ I’m killing myself tø live ~ Turning myself inside øut ~ Finding what really matterz ~ I’m crawling thru death and hate ~ I’m killing my fearz and limits ~ Remembering why ‡ came tø this wørld ~ I’m bringing back what brøught me here ~ I’m sløwly slipping thru the cracks øf my sanity ~ I’m standing åløne øn the edge øf reality ~ My head iz spinning øutside its self ~ In and øut øf this black høle we call security ~ (I løve åll I live før, and nøw I wanna thrøw it åway?) ~ This izn’t my ønly death ~ ånd theze åren’t my last regrets ~ I’m learning nøw why ‡’m here ~ ånd what I’m here tø learn ~ we're gønna learn høw we åll fit intø the whøle picture ~ ånimalz and plants, 3arth, ålienz, the ùnìvérsé, and réálítý ~ Muzik and årt, sexuality, þhiløsøphy, tekgnøwledgy and ìnsànìtý ~ Let the new sun rîze, with a new flesh and wingz, and a Th3rd 3ye ~ (Take the staple øut øf the paper, thrøw it åway, and start with a new øne.) ~ ¥øu have tø understand what’s in yøur wørld ~ we have tø cømprehend what’s in øûr mînd ~ ånd I have tø unløck nøw what’s in my head ~ we have tø øpen up and understand ~ That life iz møre than what’s in yøur hand ~ (Newz phlash! This just in ~ The entire åmerikan gøvernment just cømmitted mass suicide!) ~ I’m destrøying what I’ve becøme ~ Tø make søme . · r ø ø m · . før what I’m becøming ~ I’m hating life and I’m hating nøw ~ Nøt fearing change cauze I knøw it’s cøming ~ ånd nøw I understand what brøught me here ~ å change in life iz ålmøst here ~ Nøw my mînd’z stretching thru the cracks øf reality ~ Let’s dive intø the depths øf øur sanity ~ Øur wørld iz spinning inside its self ~ In and thru this Åmazing Ðivinity ~ Let yøurself rîze and àwåké yøurself ~ ånd step intø the Åge øf 3quality