i fucking hate you all

didn't do shit on my computer this morning.
just sat here. staring at the desktop.

i want to crawl in a hole and fuckin' die.
i'm so sick of people thinking they own everything.

this sickness.

seven eleven is now discriminating against homeless people.
they put a sign up saying 'no homeless people allowed'.
which, i think, breaks some bigger human rules we have.
of all places. not starbucks. not olive garden. seven eleven.
does anyone need to be shot yet?

hung?
burned?
humiliated?

some fagwrench walked by wearing a tight black spandex shirt,
tight orange spandex pants, with his package clearly visible.
i said 'you need to put some fuckin' clothes on.
his response is... 'at least i have a job'.

i said 'why would i want to suck your boss' cock'.

but that sickens me.

just because you have a job,
gives you an excuse to drag your balls around in public,
act like an asshole, and insult people you think lower than you?

is that really the excuse here?

that's it then.
i'm out of here.
fuck this childish fuckin' party.
seven billion hypocrites.
claiming responsibility, preaching hatred...

fuck it.
fuck this shit.
fuck all of you.
i'm sick of your immature excuses.
i'm sick of you.

i can't talk.
i can't think.
i can't breathe.

i'm slitting my wrists on my daughter's birthday.

i'm gonna find somewhere to be invisible, and i'm exiting this door.

i want that darkness. that silence.

the lyrics to just three metal songs could end this entire situation.
if you fucks were brave enough to listen to them.

even your ears are too weak. fuckin' pussies.

if anyone gives half a scruntfuck, why don't you research these fuckin' songs your adult self.

the fuck you will. fuckin' children.

song number one: 'we are the others' by delain. be brave and research sophie lancaster.
song number two: 'freak like me' by halestorm.
song number three (my personal choice): 'run for cover' by otep.

bonus materials for extra credit:

song number four: 'beauty and the freak' by sonic syndicate.
also research elliot rodger, alex jones, joseph campbell, richard dawkins, and anton szandor lavey.

i fucking hate you all.
each and every one of you fucking little scumscrunt turds.
i fucking hate you.
your childish, immature, piece of shit world means that you get to whine and complain and bitch too much.

harassing homeless people is bad enough.

if i could organize even ten of these mindless fucks,
make a youtube video...

you'd have a legitimate backlash on your hands.

the way i'd see it, every time you harass us, discriminate against us, humiliate us...

we humiliate you.

see i'm a fan of public humiliation.
you haven't seen my fetlife page yet.

fuckin' pussy.

i'd tie your ass up to the wall outside, shove a hotdog up your ass, shove your little 'no homeless people allowed' sign in your mouth, write 'hateful turd' on your naked body, stick that shit on youtube, and burn your fuckin' store to the ground with you tied to it. and your fuckin' security guard dog nazi nigger scumfuck. tyler durden needs to not be fictional. if you're not brave enough to change this world, and stop bitching in your little shell of fear, i fuckin' will.

i fucking hate you all.

i want to puke.
i want to slit my throat.
i want to cry.
i want to kill.

i can't do any of that.
i have to just be your slave.
that's the only choice you leave.
the only product you truly sell.
no security, cause you're the one who's insecure.
calling like a pussy on your phone for backup.

i don't need backup.

i never bought your security.
i never bought your lies.

and if this isn't a reason enough for those fucks telling me to get a job.

i'm using this as another good reason why i'm glad i don't have a job.

fuck you.
i'm not you.
i'll never be you.
i'm not your fuckin' slave.
i'm your fucking enemy.
by now, you shouldn't be talking to me.
you should be running.

my thin layer of sanity holding everything back...

well...

he just quit his job.

if this has to end as badly and quickly as possible,
i don't give a fuck anymore.
i've had enough of you. getting your way.
whining, crying, bitching, getting your way.
i will slit your fucking throat.

and then i'm going after your boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss. and his boss.

i'll see you on judgement day.
you human fucking turd.
fuck you.

a slave with cash

i fucking hate you all.

i am so sick of being told who to be, and how to do it.

i'm sick of having my temporary weakness mistaken for lack of an education.

every male i encounter thinks i need to be dominated and educated, i need to dress better, because they assume my intentions in life are theirs.

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

do you think i haven't heard this shit before?

every other man thinks i need to be like every other man.

and that somehow, i've managed to make it through thirty seven years of life without hearing this shit before.

did i stumble out of a jungle?

was i raised by the missing link and spit through a time machine?

fresh off a bus out of moronville?

somehow i missed school?

i'm wasting time socializing, when i have something completely opposite of that to work toward.

no one understands a fucking word i say.

what am i not saying. how am i being misunderstood. how else can i say it. what else do i need to say.

IN FIVE SECOND FUCKING FRAGMENTS, BIG PIECES OF INFORMATION CANNOT BE RELAYED.

can i not have that error message flash on my forehead, god? is that too much to ask?

perhaps someone read my blog yet? i know that's still too much to ask.

once again, for the completely uneducated in the room who assume i'm them:

my plan in life is to be surrounded by women. i hate men. i'm sorry. i just do. i'm sick of explaining it. read my fucking book, my blog, something. inform yourself before making an uninformed decision please.

i am here to release one album, the money i get from that will get me a house in the woods in washington, where i can headquarter myself, hire some assistants to help start ozztek industries. i will build myself a recording studio, i'll have a car, and if i need to drive to this shithole to get a movie made, i don't have to stay here.

does no one else see this. is it that hard to explain to five second ears. they do not get it. they never will.

they are not the people i am reaching. hence the fucking point!

does no one see this! am i seriously the only fucking one! it makes such simple, logical, perfect fucking sense to me, flawless logic, it's so fucking clear, you could clean it with windex! what the fuck is wrong with you people! is the word 'forward' that fucking foreign to you! that fucking alien a concept! forward. just fucking say it! it will feel better, i guarantee you, that's the fucking product i'm selling, not dave in a fucking box! get the fuck off me!

if i ever hear that shit again, if i ever have to smoke a blunt again, if i ever live a day again where i do what others want for social reasons and get nothing of my own needs met, someone will get fucking hurt.

if i have to verify my identity to this morbid fucking society one more fucking time, someone will get fucking hurt.

i am not here to live in your world.

i am here to escape it properly.

i've studied it for twenty plus years.

i am not uneducated on the topic.

shove your assumptions up your asses.

i have said all this shit too many fucking times in my life for you morons to not hear it.

i will repeat that.

i am not here to be you.

i am not here to participate in your delusion.

i am not here to wear your clothes, earn your paycheck, and comfort you.

how many times have i fucking said this shit! i'll pay a future scholar a million dollars to tell me the answer to that someday in the future! a million dollars and a fucking cheeseburger!

i am here to destroy this sick, stupid, morbid, wrong society by escaping it.

it's the most peaceful plan there could possibly be. you can trust me on that, you haven't studied the topic at all.

you are not an educated voice on this fucking topic, you can stop trying to educate me.

i'm just having a little temporary trouble with the first step.

i have said this shit many fucking times, you can read for your fucking adult human self.

stop telling me you have to change my diapers, when i'm changing yours.

have you fucking gotten it yet?!

let me twittersize that for your small pea sized brain. cause i know for fuck that i can't fit in there.

i think i just proved that. as i have a billion fucking times.

carl sagan, could you nudge mom awake, so she can give you that 'can you count that high?' look again, please?

here, the twitter version.

i will never be you. stop stuffing me into your mold. your clothing sucks. your music sucks. if you cannot comprehend something new, move out of the way of the bulldozer please. thank you. have a wonderful... sorry. told you to move.

i apologize for a reason. i'm driving a bulldozer.

in case you haven't noticed yet, there are people hanging off the bottom of this pyramid.

i'm painfully aware of the fact that you do not see the pyramid i'm talking about.

that's because you're an imperceptive idiot. here's proof. have a wide eyed gander, please.

look at the back of your dollar bill.

thank you.

see the people hanging off the bottom? you're one of them? see?

yes. there. now.

those people could be swept over here...

a new community could be built...

i know, it hurts to stretch that muscle the first few times. that's why people don't know how to use acid yet. it's a chemical, whereas nature creates natural things. they aren't 'natural alternatives'. there is nature, and then there is your idiotic human alternatives. your god is one of the latter. i know, i know, just take a deep breath.

i'm about to push a little hole through your third eye. you're going to see a small light through the top of your head.

it helps to close these two eyes. i know you won't, cause you have your 'reasons' excuses.

picture a nucleus.

zoom in.

imagine you see tentacles of light and energy on the surface of that nucleus.

they are absorbing consciousness into the neuron inside a brain.

now picture this.

humanity on the earth.

evolving into tentacles of light and energy absorbing consciousness into the earth, to turn this neuron into a light inside this mind. you'll see the concrete around you liquify into the earth like the delusion it truly is.

now imagine, i saw that when i was about thirteen years old. give or take a few fuzzy years.

i have had two lucid dreams.

i have had one astral dream.

they are all written about.

i had an ayahuasca dream.

i haven't done ayahuasca yet.

if you do not know what those are, then please, do yourself a favour and stop looking so fucking stupid to me. look at me as an equal, and you might see the future i plan to design. if you close your mind and spit out words too often, you're not hearing the full story, thus you're forming opinions too soon, instead of informed decisions by being fully informed. my mother would be digging for her gun right about now. i should have snapped a year ago. you're pushing a very very tight trigger, over and over, and expecting a different reaction.

and then you tell me i'm insane.

you tell me definitions of this reality to enforce your belief in it.

you're failing to realize, i plan to shatter that reality with the full force of a psychedelic break.

something no other psychologist has discussed on this planet yet. not freud, not jung, not terence mckenna.

you want to push the buttons in my brain, you won't like what you find. you should be careful.

this is not territory for you to go ignorantly stumbling around in. this is a minefield around a nuclear assault chamber that's housed around a personal defense arsenal, and that's all compressed and locked into a psychedelic barrier of psychic rage, antisocial anger toward the membrane of death.

before you tell me which clone you'd like to be, please don't look so stupid, and inform yourself on the definition of antisocial. not just teenage angst antisocial behaviour, but antisocial culture.

people think they know something, and the more they say, the dumber they sound, and they never realize it.

humanity as a collective never realizes it.

i plan to end that.

it's a choice.

a shift of perception.

it might hurt your human brain. it's like showing an ant what it's like to build a pyramid, and how to destroy one, and why, all in the span of it's little five day life.

my mother used to say 'closed minds always have open mouths'.

she also used to say, 'it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid, rather than open it and prove it.

we also appreciated that lyric in the metallica song, 'the empty can rattles the most'.

they all think they know something.

if they'd shut up and read my blog, they'd realize how wrong they are.

i'll pay a scholar twenty billion brain jello rubels in arcturian currency...

i'll give you your own company where you can sell hugs for a grand a pop...

i got these cheeseburgers man, i'll suck yo dick...

if you can travel back to the year twenty sixteen, around february, and tell someone that.

be a not so lazy friend, and share it on twitter, so it can go viral like it was supposed to last year.

but thanks to beiber...

you guys go on being proud of yourselves.

i'd rather laugh and dream forward.

rainy sunday

slept okay last night, stayed dry, started raining this morning, i'm in starbucks for the day, but i've got one smoke left, minimal food, one bowl, and can't focus with all the pain, not even on the movie 'the dilemma', which i love and have been wanting to see again. just got the first email i've had since about six pm yesterday, and i usually get shitloads of automated crap. freecycle, meetup, shit like that, they send a lot of crap. i can't write too much right now, can't focus too much right now, zach is talking to me. he woke back up from his starbucks backpack nap. cops are crawling around a lot today. i'm sure it's set to rain all day, so i'll stay in here and try to get some movies watched. i store those little things in my arsenal of factoids. it'll be useful someday. there's more method behind this 'madness' than you're aware of, but there's no convincing you. i wish anyone could appreciate my verbage, but i have to create a fucking religion first. i don't think anyone's understanding my intentions, though. it's not 'everyone's' attention i want to get... it's whose. i picture peanut saying 'what's wahose?'. you know, my palm and forehead are engaged, thanks to you! we're having a june wedding, you're invited. i'm wondering how far you can take sarcasm before people take you too seriously, but at the same time, i know exactly, precisely how much sarcasm, because 'people'... therein lie the problem. people have no sense of humour. why do you think 'standup comedian' is still a job you can pick off the menu of life when you're fresh out of high school and dumb enough to not look higher up, but smart enough to not look down... that's about where you'll settle. comedian, rockstar, you know... less chains, more freedoms, looser life, better sleep, less 'responsibility' being tossed at you from people with no clue what responsibility actually is, but they preach about it constantly like they're selling a product or stuffing a fuckin' turkey. fragment thoughts make the mind skip. like going three days without an 'incident'. small minds cannot see big concepts, and that needs to be fucking advertised. hello, america! this is your television speaking! you're retarded and too stupid to know it! don't be proud of that! get off your ass and cut the coma cable membrane, take a brain breath, study something called trepanation, listen to a voice named michio kaku, and you might survive. lay there like a glob of mayonnaise, and... i don't know, did they find any mayonnaise in the landfills? how about volcanos? does it survive a nuclear holocaust? how's china? any condiments over there? ketchup? grey fuckin' poupon? anything? cockroaches? methheads? my grandmother aka satan? i'm not sure she's dead, i ain't seen no corpse. poke her with a stick. not that one, cleatus! but, if you look a little higher on the menu of life, you'll notice how it goes from 'the job section' to 'the career section' to 'the hobby section' to 'the collector section'. you notice, the higher two sections are actually not 'jobs' where you get paid to do what someone else tells you, and be proud of yourself for living in an apartment, thinking that separates you from the bum on the street in some way... well, yeah, above 'the collector section'... it still goes up. why do people pick a spot and stop? i'll rest here, i'm good here, y'all go on without me. knowledge never stops. the brain never stops absorbing. it does if you make bad choices and kill brain cells with bad drugs and try to be stupid like it's something to be proud of, but no, see, you can actually... i'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but... sorry to be the bearer of good news, but... you can choose differently. it doesn't matter what you saw on cnn last week. what matters, is that last week, you could have avoided cnn, but the good news is, there's another week infront of you. i guess someone needed to remind you of that. but anyway. the list goes up. the ladder, whatever you want to call it. there's 'the educator section', there's 'the dreamer section'... you can be any and all things, you don't even have to pick just one. yeah, like, duh, like, hello! mcfly! tee hee fuckin' hee! god, this isn't third grade mentality level, cause i have higher standards for third grade, too. humanity's mentality is at the snail stage, let's go ahead and be honest, we don't need to sugar coat this shit, they're all gonna die anyway, i can shoot first and ask questions later just like you, there's no stopping me from using your stupidity against you to open your eyes the painful way, it truly doesn't matter... so you know... you can relax, you're just my delusion in the first place, so i think i can find the words to stick your head to the fuckin' wall. have a little faith in the show here. but check this out. see, i can speak stupid, too, i can stoop down to your level, it just hurts my oxygen galaxy eater generator machine thing you call a brain, but ironically, don't know what that is either. it's okay, we're good, i like making people feel stupid, i enjoy it, it makes me feel smarter, cause i don't give a fuck what you think, you can diagnose me all you want, it only matters if i listen, but i'm too busy talking obviously, and the bad news for you is, i don't just 'love the sound of my own voice', i love the words this voice is saying, and i'm going to keep saying them till they sink in, so... let's get to business here, what are we talkin', another two thousand years till you get it? i bet i can speed that up. just a tad. anyway, getting way behind myself here. but yeah, so, you've got a ladder of knowledge here... most people don't even see it. it's not the one leading up to the television sky that's raining small talk into people's desert brains, no, that was built by some douchebag a couple thousand years ago, he thought he was doin' some babylon thing, but it turns out, he was just cracked cause his mother knew a little too much about freud, so... okay, yeah, focus here, come on. see, look up this way. it helps to close these two eyes, actually. see, you look up in this direction here... see that glowing pathway to the sky? see, these christian idiots are talking about some 'golden pathway to the sky'... somehow they use the same words, but cheapen the meaning by supporting it with a product, and they don't see the soullessness in that, i'm assuming based on logical deductions, that it's because they have no soul, but that's still debatable on the debate table. i don't know, i haven't been there in months, last time i was there, i saw a brain cell die. i felt a little ashamed, but i was the only one, so... you know... a little awkward, but i dress in that language, i was born with that tongue, and i can prove it because you don't even know what the fuck i'm talking about, you doubt me, you immediately try to debate me, because your opinion is already preformed, and you don't understand that... see, we're caught in your loop here. i'm about to, as a demonstration to you, break my way through it, like i usually do, before i suffocate my brain and kill a brain cell. see, it's very easy. i'm making my brain healthier right now just by getting this shit out of it, see. timothy leary said humanity doesn't understand the brain at all. i agree. sorry, but it's just my choice, see, you can't control my choice, you can only make your own, just as i cannot control your choice, i can only form my own. see how that works? so, figure this part out. if i make a choice based on logic, and you make a choice based on fear and paranoia... a: we've just made two different choices, and b: it's divided us. see, now you're standing over there, and telling me i'm insane. this is why i think i'm talking to mirrors in this world, you know, it's just logic that has informed me that these are just delusions in my brain, and my brain makes me think it's real, and that this concrete won't let me through that, but what you're not understanding, is that i can see through that concrete very easily, because i'm not looking at it with the same two eyes that you are looking at it with. see. choices. perspective. i see your perspective. you do not see mine, and i'm aware of that as well. see. you're getting lost here. i'm aware of that. i'm confusing the shit out of you, simply because... you might actually read this someday. intentions. i know yours. i have my own. divided through generations, how would you expect us to unite. i would like to say this and have it heard someday. if there was one band that every person on this earth could get behind, if there was one band who could unite us and bring us together... it would be tool.

aaahhh... i just got the most brilliant idea. haha. see how that happens? sorry, i gotta leave you here, you can hold your breath if you want, but i got something more important flowin' out of this fuckin' walnut shell here. sorry. finally unlocked another little nugget, gotta go plant it. or smoke it. enjoy.

ending january

god, i fucking hate everything. i really don't know what's happening with my mind anymore. i haven't been able to think to myself for weeks now. trying to have a friend keep me stoned leaves no self time. priorities, responsibilities, all this human shit that normal people deal with, and it does not translate to any of them that i don't like this shit. i sat here browsing google maps for about an hour, trying to find... i don't know. i forget what to look for. every time. i feel sick, my stomach is so fucked, i can't tell if i'm hungry anymore. i just ate a tuna sandwich, but i already feel empty and sick, i can't even tell if i need to use a restroom anymore, and trying to find the time to walk to one is just fucking stupid. i cannot stand people. sitting panhandling for two hours this morning, had ten incoherent idiots walk up to me asking me for cigarettes or drugs. is it too hard to make your own sign. is it not obvious to you that i have nothing, which is why i'm sitting here with my own signs. are these people really that stupid. and i'm really still this alone. will i ever be understood by anyone. i fucking hate everything i see. everything i'd like to do, is an impossible amount of mental calculations and physical stumbles, and then finding the motivation to walk up that hill alone again. i posted something on craigslist looking for a female friend, but they've all got better things to do, than notice me. which makes me fucking sick. am i the only one who thinks it's extremely unfair that men with jobs, and men with meth, they all have women, but i can't find a single lady who's not a drug addict, who doesn't automatically want something more from me than i'm able to give. or who doesn't want me to turn into a clone. people keep saying, basically these words in any form, but 'let me dress you up like a clone, so we can call you dave'. at least that's what it translates to, to me. no one wants me to be me, i'm not allowed to be me. and no one is ever going to find me interesting, so why am i still here. america doesn't find intellect interesting, they consume stupid shit, i don't know why i'm here. i'm not enjoying any of this, but trying to tell a fellow human is pointless. can i please meet someone else who finds that as retarded as i do? my mind doesn't want to think through this concrete anymore. i've seen my pathway out, but this first step, this first set of obstacles... i don't even know why i'm doing it alone, i don't see the point. but i am at least getting some fragmented thoughts in my head that are propelling me toward the open mic again, i'm asking zach to facebook monique mcfadden to help with that. but i can't seem to think anymore, unless i can get the slightest bit of inspiration, and it really only comes to me from females. the only type of men who inspire me are metalheads like robb flynn, the rest of these douchebag guys can fuck themselves for all i care, just stop fucking eachother and still calling yourselves men. but you can't call yourselves women either, cause that's false advertising, so... why do there have to be so many clones of so many different moronic types of people in this world, and so fucking many of them! floods of oceans of clones of morons to weed through to find any big brains observing this shit from a higher level! why! there's no god over this! i've seen google earth, and i played the original sim city when i was a kid, i see more than you. when i look at the earth, and cities on google maps, i see retardation and cancer. thinking, gee, why did they put apartments next to the freeway, that was stupid. they weren't thinking. and the fact that they sell this shit, and the prices of real estate and land and shit go up and down depending on how bad some other moron already fucked it up, i can't stand these people. what fucking world did i step into here, without being able to say a fucking thing about it or god forbid change a fucking thing. why do there have to be so many copies and duplicates of the same idiots walking around? why? we can't have just a few gay guys, we have to have a fucking plethora. a ridiculous flood of them. we can't have just one justin beiber wannabe idiot that the girls drool over with the douchebag shorts, douchebag haircut, douchebag tattoos, no, there have to be billions rolling off the assembly line and flooding the shelves of toy stores everywhere for each little clone to buy and pull the fuckin' string. why am i the only one who sees this, and if i'm not, why the fuck can't one of you voiceless fucks talk to me! let yourselves be known! you've had twenty years to find me online! but you're watching scragly ragflapper on youtube instead. maybe you're watching terence mckenna videos like i did, but you're not talking to me! i don't know what more i have to do! i've tried everything, i've tried posting comments on youtube to people, i've tried writing a blog for fifteen years, i've tried talking to real life mannequins in starfucks, not one of you mindless fucks is a fucking human! i'm surrounded by plastic delusions. there can't just be a few methheads, they have to be fucking everywhere! there can't be just a few rich assholes who ignore you, there have to be billions all jumping for the top spot of the elite to own and control everything, because world domination is still on the menu of what you'd like to be in life. no, i need to explain to these morons, cause they stare at me like i'm an alien speaking in hieroglyphs, but no, it's a very simple concept. see, that's something you can 'DO' in life. something you can 'BE' in life, that's different. you can be cool, you can be lame, you can be a dork, you can be a geek, you can be a nerd, you can be a rockstar, you can be a pioneer, you can be an inventor, or you can follow the product line like everyone else. you can be unique, or you can be dave. it's a shame so fucking many of you have to pick dave the idiot, the mindless, hostile, incoherent clone. the crackhead that stumbled into the meat grinder and somehow ended up on the assembly line, no, he's a birth defect, he's a fucking disfigured reject, but 'we have to be fair and let him exist', no, he's suffocating the oxygen tube for the rest of us, there's only so fair we have to be here, does that have to be pointed out? 'no, we have to be fair', fuck fair. if you can't fit a higher thought in your brain than money, concrete, and how those two work together, i'm tired of seeing so many of you! retardation is the norm! and i can't find a brain to talk to! and you see nothing wrong with that! and you don't think this planet needs another cleansing! last time it was the jews, this time it should be morons! anyone with an iq below one fifty! up the fucking standards, so i can have someone to talk to! that's too much to ask! i have to do every fucking step along that path my mutherfucking self, without even so much as a warm, soft tit to cuddle with, let alone a smile to make mine bigger. don't go gutter on me. actually, it doesn't matter if you do, i intended all of the above. i fucking hate people. i cannot attract positive people toward me. i held carol's crystal in my hand for two weeks, begging for something better to approach me. preferably something female. i'm the most ignored man on this planet, and i'm not a drug addict, nor am i a slave, but that's all you ladies fucking seem to want! one end of the loser spectrum, or the other! here i am, stuck in the middle with fucking no one! this is nice, thank you world for being so nice and caring and enjoyable, i can see why tourists from other planets come here often! you make it so welcoming for someone to want to stay here! you have so much concrete here, but such limited places to sleep inside that concrete, and you think that's logical, and if i try to tell you otherwise, you silence me, ignore me, throw me in jail, and kill me. but i'm still here, i'm still dreaming, and i'm still preaching a better future than anything you can think of. how i get your audience's attention is confusing right now, but i assure you, i'll figure it out like i have everything else up to this point. i will cut a path through your concrete, to find the heart of this earth, and bring hope back to the surface of this lie. i fucking hate you. i hate everything of yours. i don't even want to make a list anymore, but i have to, in order to see if a lady is meeting my checklist of requirements, but invariably, they only ever get up to two or three on the list before disappearing or running away scared because other idiots have given me a bad image, and that's what i'm trying to fucking fix! it would be nice to do it with a friend who has a little faith in me! i have to fucking say this shit!!! no one else finds that retarded!!! there's no one i can tell that to!!! why the fuck am i here!!!

so thank you, humanity. i've really enjoyed your planet of horrors. it's great if you're going for the whole 'hey, my planet is the haunted house behind the uhaul galaxy' thing, but this could be a place where people come to have fun, without looking like another tourist hub with bright lights, fast food, and douchebags. i hate you. i fucking hate you. how many years from now will we actually start planning on who we'd like to have show up here? we've had all the school and launch setup capabilities we could dream of for a while, but instead, you pamper and shelter your children, telling them no instead of yes, they don't learn that way! they don't learn shit! how many of those pampered spoiled rich kids in those fucking montessori schools have actually done anything brilliant with their lives, and not just lived off your fucking dollar! or spent their whole lives walking through glitter and being applauded for 'i made that movie', 'i'm an artist, you should bow at my feet'. fuck you. you've had your time, and you've done nothing with it except wallow in fucking grey poupon! while trash is growing thumbs out your door! you couldn't have a fucking care!!! you sicken me, when is your end, when do you die, when will this earth have had enough of you shitting all over it! when will god show his fucking face and shout from the skies what a goatfuck you've been! you're waiting for judgement day, thinking you'll be the one who did nothing wrong. you'll be the one who gets in first, so you can piss down on all the rest. heaven is set up just for people like you. i just think the welcome sign was misspelled a little, that's all. that's your redemption. the afterlife. yeah, don't worry about what you fuck up today, just let a nonexistent god sort it out. i cannot chisel my way into your fucking brain!!! what do i have to say, what do i have to do, who do i have to be! is it possible to change anything in this fucking world! you wallow in stagnance and selfworship, fear of evolving, and you've clusterfucked this concrete for so long, that i can't get out of it! i could blame you for that, but i'd rather see your end, and appreciate the new possibilities that are too big for your brain! like breathing in a world of crisp new oxygen, i can't fucking wait. you can't even get a little organization behind terrorism, which tells me it's all created by you in the first place. you really have trouble keeping yourself occupied, don't you? you have to get creative in your little playskool kitchen laboratory mentality. how fucking sad. i can't wait to invent something better than you and your unchanging world of fear and products. you can't see that we're all just separated by choices. 'buy pepsi so you can have a reason to fear coke'. you invest everything in your children, breeding without a path or a choice, no design whatsoever, cause 'god will guide us'. that mentality has gotten you two thousand years worth of nowhere! and you can't see it! yeah, great, you have movies and google, is that the best you can do? facebook? wow, i'm so impressed, i'm drooling in my snores! you invest billions of dollars in movies. why? you invest no money in space exploration. why? you invest no money in education, yet you take your children to these sheltered school, and i never see their names in the movie credits, so i don't see what's going on here, i see minimal evolutionary progress, all i see is you being proud of yourself for making a movie, and that movie sucked. i guarantee you i can make something better. i can raise a better kid than you, with less money. i can make a better point than you with fewer words. i can make more progress than you with less time. that's called evolution. it's like you're driving down a freeway, and see that rocket come flying past you. bulldozer. whatever blur it was. if you had invented this shit before me, i wouldn't be bitching, would i? hell, i could make a better piece of art than you, and i already have. so why your art is getting more attention than mine... yeah, i smell plastic pride. i smell turds. i smell satan at work. you have to realize, you have to grow the fuck up and realize, there's no one to blame but you. i'm not even wasting time blaming you, that's your god's job. i'm not climbing to the top of your pyramid of delusion. i just want to see it be destroyed. gone. dust. smoke. i want to breathe the next morning. you have to realize, there is no god being responsible for you, there's no devil tempting you with idiocy, these are all your choices, and in the eyes of evolution, your choices are horrid! because you excuse it with a god who can fix it later, what, do you think god's sitting up there in heaven with a fuckin' box of bandaids?! what the fuck are you thinking! what the fuck is wrong with your underevolved brain! as a scientist, i'm curious, i need to know how retarded the missing link was, how hostile was the neanderthal, what are we as a consciously awakening species going to have to defeat in order to exist? and how will we have to defeat it? hopefully without violence. i can't wait to hear someone besides me say these words: 'we never fought them, we just outthought them'. but no, it will never happen because that thought was written by me. which tells me, i never have to worry about people copyright infringing me, no one has the balls to think of the shit i say. thanks. likeminded people, my saggy black ass. where are they? when are they? that's mostly what's guided me most my life, under this empty sky. whatever i think, the opposite happens. because i'm logical, and you're not. so if i'm sitting there begging the skies to have a lady walk up to me, hand me five bucks, and say 'today doesn't suck, it just has yet to get better'... i know it's never going to happen. see? now, all you have to figure out, is how far i've followed that path, for how long, and what little trinkets of wrong have i picked up along the way. i'm saving them for judgement day. i've already got my fuckin' ticket, and i burned the receipt. let's go here, popcorn's getting cold, and so is your god! have they done the autopsy yet, or are you still in the denial stage? did you get stuck? do you need some help, can i pull you out, here, grab my hand!

no one will ever say that to me. because i thought it. likeminded people do not exist. they're either clones, or... not me. no one's mind is like mine. i know a few who are, but trying to find them is just as retarded. otep shamaya, yeah, where does she live in secrecy? where does robb flynn hide? i don't fucking see any of them walking the same streets i have, so how do they know what i know? where are their paths? the only famous person i've recognized so far is andy dick. andy fucking dick. the most recognizable chin on this planet, andy fucking dick! he's more recognizable than jay leno and doctor phil combined. that's who i get. that's, hey, and when i was a kid, my mama told me we met ricky how the fuck do you spell shroeder in a restaurant in los angeles, but i don't even remember the spinning mirror room from disneyland anymore. but that's the people i get. plastic clone losers, duplicated humans, stamped molds of what some idiot thought we were supposed to be two thousand years ago! it's two pm, i gotta go panhandle. i need food. i'm sick of people. can one person please approach me today with a little kindness. i have no god i can ask, so i'm asking my blog. it responds even less.

evolutionism

more fragment ideas for the religion. it's the obvious answer to religions. if everyone else can have these morbid religions, why can't i have one based on common sense, logic, love, and the search for truth. why can't a religion be designed the way one should be.

logic is our god. our direction is fearlessly forward. utopia is where we live, and what we build. unity is what we work to achieve.

whatever product, service, or talent you have, that you would like to sell... the price they have to pay for it, if they want it that bad... whether it's sex, music, weed, whatever... we don't take visa. we don't accept cash... they have to become an evolutionist. you can be standing on a street corner, some guy in a suit and tie drives up and asks how much... you cost... well, sir, you can fuck me, but i'm an evolutionist. if you really want to fuck me that bad, you have to become an evolutionist. what does that mean? means you have to leave your life behind, come with me to the land of logic, and never look back. he'll either drive away, or he'll be curious. if he's curious to make it through all the levels, he's an evolutionist. if he's scared to lose his bible, he goes back home with no pussy. well, depending on how you'd like to look at it. but the cost is not cash, it's a choice. you be a responsible human, or you stay in your little hole of fear and hatred forever. it's your choice. what else do you have for sale? i have this wonderful album i made, here's a free sample, listen to this. like it? wanna buy it? yeah, how much is it? you ever hear of evolution? thumbs, logic, and clues? being responsible for yourself? here, here's a pamphlet. save yourself from the lord! get a clue! sprout thumbs and logic glands! you're healed of delusion, my son! now you're a human! you've officially evolved from neanderthal, or homosapien, or whichever one was last. what was lucy? ever seen that movie?

a religion based on truth, or at least the search for. how could that be a bad thing. a religion based on nonviolence. peace, love, harmony, unity. actual forgiveness, acceptance, sympathy, compassion, not apathy, hatred, seclusion, fear, and the family mentality.

fuck marriage. fuck products. fuck monetary status. fuck societal socializing and everything to do with it. like paying upwards of a hundred bucks for a steak to eat with your wife among other quiet strangers. walking to starbucks every morning with your dog on a leash, leaving him outside, socially drinking coffee, smoking outside, even in the rain, going back in, using your thumb device on wifi. playing violent zombie videogames, and then walking out into the world like a brainless zombie fresh off the assembly line.

can i get all the people together, who hate videogames, rap music, religion, and bad drugs, please? can we all come together for a moment? those of us who like to think for ourselves? can we congregate?

i appreciate a good song. i appreciate a good movie. but i don't think entertainment is the final stage of human evolution. i think it's what's keeping us from evolving. from figuring out what else we can do in life.

i'm so sick of consumers, clones, credit cards, cops, concrete, plastic, products, pets on leashes, zombie videogames, drug addicts, and bibles being thrown in my face every day, fingers being poked into my chest every day, words being raped into my ear every day, especially the opinionated ones based on fear, tradition, superstition, paranoia. opinions. beliefs. paranoid people fearing eachother, and using a bible to bring them together, if they can do that, why can't i?

they flood their streets with drugs, then preach about jesus in the garden of temptation. lord save us from these heathens. they either convert you, or they hate you. they use a god in the sky as an excuse to act irresponsibly in this life, while saying otherwise, because they do not have a reason to act responsible for their own actions, but then they project that onto us, make us their scapegoat, blame us for that exact thing, calling us irresponsible for simply not believing what they believe. they take your money, and sell you their lie. an excuse to act like an asshole and hate eachother, even though they wear the same shaped jewelry. for two thousand years now. waiting for the sequel to their sad little movie about violence, abuse, torture, death, living in the past, holding regrets and grudges. it's been two thousand years. their god has never shown his face since the burning bush. delusions that can no longer be proven. from people they never knew and have no reason to trust other than blind ignorance and faith in tradition.

i say let's step away from talking about yesterday. fuck tradition, fuck superstition, fuck violence, fuck hatred, fuck fear.

let's stop having a reason to fear shit. let's stop having anything to fear. let's have no reason to fear anything. why be afraid of something. why be afraid of what you don't know. why not be curious. why not be fearless. why not charge into the future, knowing only forward, and not reverse. why not step out of the cave, finally, once and for all, and be brave. why the fuck not?

because there's a god in the sky that might punish you? yeah, i think we've figured that one out by now.
because there's a government telling you not to break a law that might threaten another human?

did they not read the 'nonviolent' clause?

also, my religion has what i like to call, the 'retroactive' clause. means whenever you finally, fully convert to evolutionism, anything that you claimed under your religion before that, even before the religion was created, is still valid. if you didn't want to pay for a coffee, and claimed it was because you're an evolutionist, it's in limbo until you fully convert.

interested?

okay. to convert, you have to go through certain stages, or levels. consider it a twelve step program cleansing the crap of the world from your soul. all the lies, all the untruths, the misinformation, the propaganda campaigns, advertisements and defining yourself through product choices and posting them on twitter. you'll be letting go of all that shit, in stages.

stage one, shedding beliefs. do not believe what anyone else says. ever. follow your own intuition. don't be stupid. stop having excuses to act stupid. be responsible for yourself. stop listening to the media. stop listening to popular music, stop watching cnn, let go of your bibles. let all that shit go. stop buying products to support companies that already have more money than you. stop using money. stop buying shit, especially lies. especially someone else's lies. at least be imaginative enough to think of your own, come up with something unique if you're going to be a retarded wacko. if you want to live in a world of delusion, that's your choice. but you won't pass step one.

stage two, embrace anonymity. no longer identify yourself. no longer carry a wallet, with an identification card, a credit card, no longer be 'on the grid' and 'videotaped by big brother' or 'uncle sam', or whichever catholic pervert is fucking you. no more hats, no more crosses, no more badges. the shedding of political opinions or direction. you become anarchist. your political view from now on, is none of the above. i do not choose what you choose, i do not choose what you give me to choose, your options suck, and i'm no less than you, i'm smart enough to create my own, you can't tell me what to do. i don't have to buy your god, i don't have to serve your prison sentence, i can be forgiven tomorrow in my religion. i do not have to work your jobs, buy your products, build and support your 'civilized society' system of control, you can't videotape me, you can't ask to identify me, because you can pretty much trust that i'm no criminal, i'm not the psychotic piece of shit out there causing problems like you're looking for. if you're an authority figure, or an asshole of any kind, you will not pass this level.

stage three, the shedding of addictions, and the embracing of the psychedelic mindset. not just addictions to drugs. television shows, products, videogames, popular music, the internet, social communication and small talk about the past. you lose all fears as well. all phobias. including gymnophobia and thanatophobia. you also loose the fear of self education, and you be a responsible adult, and look those up on wikipedia right the fuck right now. when something is said that you do not know, you educate yourself on it, as quickly as possible, you do not delay that. we embrace a community where we share joy, love, and happiness for free. we share knowledge and marijuana as a currency. which means a community of people who all know how to grow weed, build a house, and cook food, would be self sufficient, and responsible, and sane. any talents we have, we sell to the other people on this planet, and the price, like i said, is a choice. we won't take your dollar bills and credit cards. we take you. you come with us, or you stay behind. if you really want this cd that bad, if you really want her pussy that bad, if you really want my ozztek computer that bad... you'll come with us. you'll help build our community, and no longer build that old, decrepit system, built on a foundation of fear, blood, bones, and cash that means nothing to nature. we'll eventually have our own farms, everyone will know how to do everything, and it will be done by responsible people, there will be no need to bitch, command, control, punish, fight, argue, get violent, or cause harm to anyone. during this stage, you are required to have at least one ayahuasca trip, to cleanse yourself of addictions. stop using excuses to stay the same, and try to be someone different every day, because you're allowed to be someone different. every day. every morning when you wake up, you wake up with six points. food costs nothing, smoke costs nothing, bed costs nothing. if you help someone in any way, you earn another point. how you spend the points, is up to you, but when you go to sleep that night, they better be spent on something good for that day, because when you wake up the next morning, you start fresh with six points. no debts, no payments, no receipts, no punishments, no ripoffs, no excuses. if you do something wrong, all your points for the day are taken, you'll be humiliated in some way, but when you wake up the next morning, it won't be in a jail cell. you'll be forgiven, and given a chance to act better the very next day. that's what forgiveness should be. when christians talk about forgiveness, they actually mean reimbursement. what all they can reap before they die, believing that what they've sewn will never catch up with them, believing that there's a second chance to come clean in the afterlife because their god is forgiving only of them... wake the fuck up. they make excuses to suck all the best out of life for themselves, selfishly, their beliefs excuse their greed and hatred, and it's about time someone realizes it, if not them. they excuse their violence by telling you to buy products, spend more money. support and build their war machine, to pay for more excuses. not realizing the simple truths they have hidden from you through history. for example, if they go to war and kill someone... of course they can say whose fault it was, they're the ones still living. common sense. logic. taking the thought to its logical end, and not stopping half way out of fear. 'i don't know what's in the rest of that thought, it might be dangerous'. but fearlessly stepping into a war because your leaders tell you. dying for your country, fighting for your god, but having nothing to really live for. having so much to 'fight' for, to 'die' for, is not a healthy way to think. all it does is gives you a reason to hate someone, to fear someone, to hurt someone. you think they're legitimate reasons. nature sees them as excuses, as this organism on her skin simply doesn't realize it's here yet.

stage four. embracing evolution. as you have let go of god by now, and have no need for a more responsible creature to excuse your idiotic behaviour, you can now claim to be a responsible, thumbed creature of nature. as an evolutionist, you have ownership over marijuana. you can sell some to a nonevolutionist, if you want. but remember the price they pay for it. you are free to make movies, but they must be in the direction forward. about the future in some way. your beliefs are no longer beliefs, they are ideas based on science. common sense. logic. you can delve into the realm of imagination, but don't let it get delusional. keep a good understanding of psychology as you enter even your own mind. be a collector of perspectives, like i am. be able to see all of them, but choose your own, unique one. design your own, define your own, perfect your own, constantly evolve your own. you can base our future on imagination, dreams, intuition, inspiration, motivation, even fiction and fantasy, as much as you're daring enough to do, as far forward as you're brave enough to reach. do not order from the same menu in life. you aren't limited to choosing from 'cop, lawyer, or doctor' anymore. be whatever the fuck you want. we just don't want to see you dancing around like a retard in a dragon costume, telling us you're the reincarnation of king tut. you can be the reincarnation of anyone else, except jesus, king tut, l. ron hubbard, or joseph fuckin' smith, okay? if you're any of those fuckers, or even claiming to be, you'll be exiled from evolution permanently. you'll never be granted access into utopia again, but there's a volcano that way, just watch your step. if you see a bulldozer, that's just jed cleanin' up a bit.

stage five. surrendering of all personal opinions, and the beginning of your alignment with logic. whatever you think of yourself. whatever your taste in music. whatever your past that got you here was. leave it all behind. let go of it. all of it. every little bit of self. take peyote with a shaman. die. kill yourself. (this is where idiots are going to misunderstand this, and call it a cult, and this is our way of weeding out the lower intelligence quotients without having to whisper like we're around children. i believe a child can be raised better by a village than one idiotic drug addict parent wearing a cross around their neck and hanging themselves with needles and self loathing excuses. even mensa is based on exclusivity and elitism. not letting people in unless they can pay the price. they fuck people and take what's theirs anyway, and they don't think it's wrong, they blame us. does that sound like a responsible evolutionist? no, that sounds like tom cruise being a scientologist and not tipping his waiter. that's what that sounds like to an ear filled with logic goo. figure that, not having your head filled with bullshit beliefs, suffocating your every choice in life. they can say stupid shit like 'liberals are so open minded, their brains fall out', and get away with it, because we're not fighting back properly. we still assume we're under their umbrella of control, that we need their permission. did the homosapien ask permission to evolve from the neanderthal? no, the fuck it didn't. it used violence. how do we escape violence? with logic. the more fearlessly forward it stretches, the better a chance it has of getting out of this delusion while it's still walking this planet. in this level, you will be aware, that we, as a community, are basically starting over from around the nineteen hundreds, history wise. but we're counting from day one, but the linear time perspective is not important, as we strive to be happy in the moment, to live in the moment, not looking back, thinking forward, but living and enjoying life now. not fearing what's tomorrow, not regretting what's yesterday, not worrying about ten minutes from now, or two hours from now. once the community is at least functional on a communication level, we will start counting from day one. when we become a self sufficient community, no longer relying on any outside sources for survival, we can decide to stop counting, or to start over, or whatever we want, but it is no longer two thousand years since something notable happened. we are notable. we design our day. we no longer wait years for politicians to swim through excuses, trying to resist the dollar bills, lying to us about why it takes so long, because there's so many people involved in your choices. no, you make your choice now, or you're not an evolutionist. fuck procrastination. fuck saving up for a life you never get. fuck eating vegan and not smoking and driving a prius and buying starbucks because you're claiming to help the earth, when a: you couldn't give a shit about the earth or your health, and b: you throw your plastic coffee cup on the ground half way back to your house. if you have anything to lie about, or any reason to hide anything, you won't pass this step. if you have any reason to not like another evolutionist, you will not pass this step. if you still use the word trust, you will not pass this step. if you make excuses for your lack of dedication because of mental issues or trauma or damage, you will be given rigorous therapy before passing this step, as you should be healthy in the mind before even getting to step three. that means capable of making a responsible choice for yourself that other evolutionists would approve of, but we don't need to, because there's no reason to use the word trust anymore. we become a community, and you become part of the community at this stage.

that's all i have for now, i'll come back to this later and add more to it. your brain can't evolve much in a starbucks.

starbucks sarah

i am truly sorry that you have to put up with people like that. every day. i am very sorry, and i do sympathize, because i also have to put up with them on a constant basis. after the event new year's morning, i went back to my sleeping spot, and was encountered by yet another black crackhead idiot, it's already on my blog. i don't know what's wrong with them, or why there are so many of them. i do know that it sickens me more than anyone else.

that's one of my big disagreements with this world, and just one of the many reasons i'm here, of all the things i'm here to accomplish. things i'm very passionate about, that i see no one else being anywhere near this passionate about, or even thinking about. things in this world i'm very displeased with, that i want to change. i see things that make me sick, and i see no one else really being bothered by it. like the people in this starbucks right now, while this guy's being arrested, they just watch, and then go back to what they were doing. some don't even watch, they just click away on their magic thumb screens. and life goes on like normal, no one really does anything different, or says anything about it, no solutions are ever on the news.

but this shit makes me fucking sick in a very extreme way. because i'm on the wrong end of it. i'm invisible. the fact that i can't be noticed by a normal person. i can't be touched by a normal person. and i can't do anything about the violence toward me. i can't do anything about my life simply because no one understands me, even though i've explained myself on my blog, and have given out the link a million times in the past two years, and i'm stuck speaking into deaf ears, numb hearts, blind eyes, getting nowhere. the way i dress, i feel, should say it all, i think the way i dress has 'stay the fuck away from me' written all over it, it should say 'outlaw' all over it, but ever since nineteen ninety nine, all i get from people is 'hey, it's neo', or 'ooh, columbine, got a twelve gauge under there?'. did you people flunk history, or what? and i don't mean 'normal' in your version of normal. popular music, job, wallet, credit card, watches the news, wears colourful clothing, i don't mean any of that. that's why i want to draw my line through the world, my standards, my idea of what normal should be. i'm a metalhead. i have good taste in music, but i don't think media and entertainment and consuming products is all there is to life either. i'm trying to attract the right people, people obviously like me, other passionate, compassionate metalheads. the thing about metalheads, though, is that all the ones i've run into, they're pretty much mutually hateful, staring at the ground, and keep walking. i try to joke with them, but no one has a sense of humour anymore. we can't get more of the masses into comedy clubs? i'm one of the people who think we as a species sharing this planet shouldn't have to use the word 'masses' to describe ourselves.

but the fact that there are so many of those idiots doesn't seem to sicken anyone else as much as it does me, and i want to change that. the streets of every major city in this country are flooded with meth, crack, and heroin, social dysfunction, intentional public retardation with some sort of pride mentality behind it... and people who numb their brains with pop music and twitter activity, just walk right past it, and don't even see it, and both sights sicken me, how can you see that, constantly, your streets are flooded with trash, and you just walk past it, and the fact that it doesn't affect you, sickens me, who the fuck is trying to change this shit, if anyone. any bureaucrat is going to delay the shit with excuses and take forever because of 'other people'. i've recently had my life destroyed by 'other people', if my family had a family crest, it would say 'if you can't get anything done right, do it yourself'. that would consist of my dead mother, me, and my two kids, since the rest of my family was a genetic turd circus. i don't want to ramble on too much, i just wanted to offer my apology and sympathy for you having to put up with that on a daily basis as well, because i'm trying to find my way out of it for good, before one of these idiots... permanently ruins that. and i'm sorry for new year's day, the scene i made. i really didn't mean to make a scene, i was just trying to get rid of the guy, he was pissing me off, and i hadn't put my headphones in yet. i'm very sorry, i never do that, i'm nonviolent, i don't like having to hit people, even though i've had to defend myself, i've survived worse. and i'm not stupid, by any stretch. i was born extremely observant, to an overwhelming extent when i'm sober, and my mother taught me to learn from everything. one of the best lessons she ever taught me, she said son, don't just learn from your own mistakes, watch the show cops. which, in a way, was saying i could learn from anything. although, i never watched the stupid reality tv crap she did, i saw it a few times, and would ask her, 'what the fuck could you possibly be learning from that, other than what idiots those people are', and she would just click her tongue and roll her eyes. mom, that's not a proper response, especially considering you've done it the past ten year's i've been asking you that question. she would never answer. i could never tolerate stupidity. i call myself an intellectual supremacist, hoping someday, someone might get the joke. it's my sarcastic way of saying i hate stupid people, i agree with christopher titus, i think they should be the first to go. we could go extinct because of these idiots, and that doesn't send a chill down anyone else's spine, because someone just followed me on twitter! you have the attention span of a squirrel!

but anyway, i know i wrote too much for you to be able to read while you're working, but thank you for being nice to me, and knowing that i'm not one of those people. i've got a couple friends online trying to help me figure out how to meet the right people, because i'm sick of encountering nothing but those morons, and being asked for meth twenty times a fucking day, which i plan on doing a comedy bit about, hopefully you'll get to see it sometime. i do have a four minute open mic clip on youtube, if you search for animatrinity when you have the time. but i'm sorry, i truly do sympathize, and thank you again. there are better ways to start off new years. hopefully, one of these days, the methhead idiot population will be gone, products won't be important, and you and i can be friends and have a hot chocolate together some morning, in peace and quiet. i like to enjoy quiet sunrises, i've always been a morning person, that's when i have my biggest ideas, and that's when the least of those people are awake. i actually have a passionate attraction to sunrises, i've tried to describe it in poetry and photography, but i want to do more. anyway, i'm sorry that no one else really offers you any apology for that shit happening, and that it's a normal occurrence, and such a common thing that it's never even really talked about, no politicians are saying a damn thing about drugs, which means their war on drugs was a joke, i think this was their intention in the first place, to get half the population strung out on bad drugs and lost in a haze of not knowing what's going on, while this planet fills up with seven billion people, and no one's even wondering what's going on at this point, just go buy a new car and let someone else worry about it, cause that's their job, i just slit cow throats and sell vegan propaganda. like homeless security guards that harass homeless people because having a job makes them better than us. yeah, stop kicking that mentality out the door of starbucks, and think of something better. if donald trump is running for president, and no one else is thinking of this shit cause they're all distracted by that fiasco in a box... i need to get someone's attention, cause i can offer a vital suggestion right now. just let me draw my line. my people will gravitate toward it.

see, if you could put a sign on your door saying 'minimum iq required: one hundred and twenty'... that would solve a lot of problems, and if it offended anyone... that would be its purpose... wouldn't it? it's not about 'id', they misspelled it, you gotta flip the 'd' upside down, it's about 'iq', intelligence quotient, jay leno should poll people in the streets about that one, and see how many people don't know what iq even stands for, let alone their own score. i got an iq score once of a hundred and twenty, without missing a beat, i said 'fuck you, doc, i could have gotten a better iq score at a fuckin' walmart'. perhaps he assumed i was asking for some sort of phallic measurement, i don't know, i thought the brain was a different muscle, and here's another one of those idiots now. good timing to stop typing, you've got a job to deal with. meanwhile, i don't want to waste time on a job, i've got a career to pursue, and i don't have one day to waste, i'm already twenty years behind schedule according to my calendar. try to have a good day anyway, and hope with me that someday these idiots will be gone, and we'll be responsible for ourselves, and i believe that can happen very soon.

just another bad day

well, my new year is already off to a great fuckin' start. it's barely noon, and i've already had two violent encounters with black crackheads. not including christmas day. so, what, is this violent black crackhead... and... supersluts out the window day? so my mind is fucked. thinking about anything at this point is impossible. i'll spend the rest of the day spacing out on movies and sorting my music. i fucking hate people, i need to get away from them as soon as possible, and i still don't know anyone motivated enough to actually help. i'm hoping zach and holly so far, and i still need to email monique, but i tried googling her, and got lost immediately. i wish the cops hadn't stolen her card from me. pricks, pricks, and more pricks, everywhere i look, it's violent psychotic neanderthal prick with a badge or a stick day, hey, let's kill someone before the day's over, it's a great way to end the first day of the new year, with a dead man. that's how nigger brand beer does it

andrea and marco

Ciao, Andrea e marco. volevo ringraziarla, in modo molto, per aiutare me out, ed essendo bello per me. ho voluto dirvi un po' circa la mia giornata di ieri mi è stato molestato da una guardia di sicurezza tre volte ieri, dopo aver tirato un coltello su di me, all'interno della Seven Eleven, sulla fotocamera, il giorno di Natale, egli è la guardia di sicurezza e lui stesso senzatetto. Egli piace solo a molestare altre persone senzatetto. Così ho intenzione di scrivere una lettera, inviare copie al sindaco, governatore, notizie locali, e capo della Seven Eleven e sto prendendo il suo lavoro. sono stato anche molto... stitico negli ultimi mesi, che ha colpito la mia salute e la mia mente, e io odio Che la parola, ma non riesco a tradurre la poesia in lingua italiana. Così mi dispiace se non sto nel miglior umore oggi, ma non vorrei perdere questo per nulla. ho davvero apprezzare tutto ciò che avete fatto per me e io vi ringrazio sinceramente. mangeremo? E fare di voi ragazzi sentono come cibo asiatico oggi? Questo quiznos non fa abbastanza carne sul loro panini, ho bisogno di una mucca per pranzo. sorriso! Si tratta di un giorno migliore rispetto a ieri!

christmas morning

yesterday was the most horrible day i've had in months. i had to encounter the coldest, most cruel people on the face of this horrid fucking planet. selfish, stupid, incoherent, rude, belligerent... consumers. my least favourite creature. consumers who ignore you on christmas fucking eve. aside from that...

i woke up this morning without a dime in my pocket. walked to seven eleven, trying to get a hot chocolate. asked some guy in his car for a couple bucks for the hot chocolate, he gives me two dollars, but tells me to give the other one to this piece of shit bum by the trash can. so i had to get my hot chocolate with one dollar. i walked into the seven eleven at the wrong fucking time. some hot snob girl walks in, followed by two ignorant crackhead fucking nigger pieces of shit... believe me, i don't use that word lightly, i don't like it, i'm not concerned with skin colour at all, but when you have to be such an obvious piece of human turd, you're just deserving of that label, i'm sorry, that's the way i fucking see it, deal with it. and i'm stupid enough to follow this perfect little crowd in there. i asked the lady if she could possibly spare a dollar for a hot chocolate. she of course ignores me, which makes me feel like she thinks of me as no better than the crackroach niggers in the store. meanwhile, those scumfucks are crowding around me, no matter where i go in the store, they have to stand in my way. every time i try to make my way to the counter to ask the guy, they're right infront of me, so i have to stand and wait as always to get anyone's attention. right about that time, two cops walk in. oh, this is fucking great. so i start ranting and growling because... i can't hold it in at that point. i can't get the clerk's attention, cause he's busy with the hot snob and the two scruntfucks. i'm assuming all three of them are cracked out of their fucking minds, and this close to having a threesome in the store. the idiots won't stop drooling over her ass, which is making me fucking sick, and want to puke all over everything. consumers. there are only two clerks working in the seven eleven, one is dressed for a break, and the other is the dot indian dude that never translates with me. so i ask the guy on break, just desperately trying to get out of there as quickly as possible, but i never get my way, i'm not allowed. i asked him if i could get my hot chocolate for a dollar, without even thinking, he says ask him. i said 'he never understands what i say, would you mind asking him for me'. but he can't get a word in between the indian clerk and the two crackturd idiots, cause they're having a merry little christmas in the store, asking for hot dogs, just having a good ol' time, cause they're allowed to, especially if they belligerently barge right in and demand their path in life, 'high, i'm here for coffee, get the fuck out of my way'. yes, sir, absolutely, sir, very sorry, sir, please excuse my stupididity. scum! they get all the attention and i get none. as always. so at that point, with the cops over by the hot chocolate area, and i start growling with hatred, cringing down into a hateful little ball of blackness and toxic death. the store clerk finally says yes, i can, so i squeeze between the cops, grab a cup, fill it as quick as possible, dump a couple creamers in it, get the lid, and walk the fuck out. disgusted, disturbed, sick with myself, hateful, growling, screaming in the street at god, cops all over the fucking place... merry fucking christmas. i've been ignored by more people last night and this morning, than all of san francisco combined. i hope you sick puke fucks have a wonderful fucking day. i walk over here to the starfucks, hook up my computer, turn it on, check my email hoping for even an automated merry christmas wish, or something nice from the two humans i know on this wretched planet that might pull my heart out of the depths of hell this morning, sun glaring in my eye... fucking nothing. i get an automated message from fuckin' shaquataetae.

i fucking hate you. i fucking hate you. i'm surrounded by the worst of human scum, this is why i don't do fucking holidays, i fucking hate you all! your god won't show his fucking face, cause he knows i'll slit his fucking putrid goat throat. i fucking hate you.

i am the coming of a new age
stained we still stand tall
i am the coming of a new age
and i will never fall
i've seen the questions of a new time
seen but never heard
i've seen the comings of a new time

i wish to god i could slit my wrists this morning.
unfortunately, i've got something to live for.

i fucking hate you.

...
oh yeah, and yesterday morning, i tried to use the burger king bathroom. huge mistake. three people walked in on me because they can't lock their bathroom door. idiot number one and three was this braindead fucking scumpuke piece of shit, not a thought in his fucking skull mellon. just stands there staring at me. so i walk out of the bathroom, and start screaming at everyone in the burger king:

i guess there's no privacy anymore for people who can't afford to take a shit.

idiot behind the counter says in his drooly drooly fuckin' accent cause he can't speak fucking english! says 'get out'.

i said no, you should be proud of yourself, you can't even lock your bathroom door when i pay you a quarter everytime i go. high class!

then i look at all the idiots trying to eat their breakfast, and i say 'oh, i'm sorry, enjoy your breakfast, hopefully someday you'll figure out not to shit where you eat!'.

human fucking scum. fuck your holidays and fuck you with them. they've always been just an excuse to consume more. you fucking scum. what happens when we throw down the credit cards and products. what happens then? you can't afford to ask yourselves. you can't afford to see my perspective. hell, you can't even afford to give a shit about it. you must be so proud of yourselves. humanity can buy products and eat and shit and eat and shit and eat and shit and eat and shit. consume, consume, consume. i can see the word 'scum' in there. you make me fucking sick.

my standards are so much higher than yours, they don't even involve you.

...
aaand now we have christmas day. right around noon, i had a pleasant encounter with the security guard for the seven eleven. the short, fat, black, bald idiot with the sunglasses, i'll get a picture of him on here eventually. i was arguing with him because he was harassing another homeless lady, who's obviously out of her mind, and he was calling the cops on her, and that shit makes me sick, so i... well... my mind's fried. he kept harassing me, followed me into the seven eleven, and ended up pulling a knife on me... i hate all these terms so much, i hate even having to say this shit, i sound like a barbaric neanderthal myself, makes me fucking sick. they have no clue or care what ptsd is, or what nonviolent people... i cannot wait to have my religion behind me with these moronic fucks. i cannot wait for the day, when they figure it out. if only there were a god to pray to, please, lord. i wanted to tell him the line i had going for a while, 'see you on judgement day', but i didn't get the chance, but please, god, let it be soon. this man pulled a knife out of his pocket, inside a seven eleven, on christmas day, and he's the security guard!

it does give me pleasure at least, that it must really chap his ass that he can't do shit to me. i've been through this shit before, hell, half of it's here on my fuckin' blog, or facebook. i've taken these fuckers down before, i can call the cops on this asshole any fucking time i want, he's probly already fired, real fuckin' responsible behaviour, if his job's not already gone, i can take it any time... cause my mama taught me how, and they assume i'm stupid, and i haven't been through this shit before... god, what fucking morons. mom, they're still learning the hard way. can you believe this shit? too bad she can't email me an eta for armageddon. but the good news is, i made fortysix bucks, a swirl of people issues, triggers popped like a minefield... i'm gonna go get stoned. hope you have a wonderful christmas.

...
and again last night, still kept trying to fuck with me in the store. i'm taking his job. it's almost seven am, i say that's a good time to get started. he'll be fired by noon today, and that's right around the time i get free lunch. i realized last night, though... and i'll say this on stage. i'm going to use him to launch myself. he'll be the first head i step on, he won't be the last, and i will never apologize again. it's time to stop waiting around to meet people. it's time to get started on myself. in the next few days, i'll try to work on forming a daily routine that involved open mic every night, panhandling every day, at certain times, and keeping what cash i need to stay ahead of each day in my pocket and not going below that, and i need to find a better area of town, and email monique asap. thanks, mom.

the next hour

what do i want to do in the next hour. i've got about ten bucks.

i need to find somewhere dry to smoke a bowl.
i should get a cheap burger or something to eat.
then go to the library and watch something good.

i can either leave my laptop on, or shut it off.
i don't know how long i'll be in the rayne, i should shut it off.
do i want burger king or seven eleven. i also need new socks.
these white ones feel more out of place than i do.

it's two pm. twosday. what can i do on a twosday.
i need to call the dmv eventually, but i'm dreading that.
i need to email an apology to sandra, and a thank you to carol.
i also need to get zach to make my computer behave.

but what as far as getting a home...
even if it has wheels...
where can i look...

i refuse to use craigslist and drown in spam.
i'm always ignored on freecycle.
invisible on every other site.

brett's no longer an option, just another ripoff idiot. as usual.
my people issues and uncomfortability are still... skin level.

if only i could focus on anything. i need to think. brain still hasn't rebooted.
i've found myself dead in this spot, no direction from this corner.
is it gravity, or time? or me?

what do i need to get out of here?
what can happen?

meeting someone?
open mic attention?

i feel nothing in either direction. what happened to my heart?

momentum i built in san francisco is gone.
i need a piece of reality. just one direction.

i miss doctor bupp.
speak to me, my friend.

...
four pm. well, i actually panhandled for a few hours. got two big sandwiches from romeo, couple bucks. rainy day. although, just before sunset, the rain stopped and the clouds started thinning, so it got this really nice yellow glow right around sunset. i took a few pictures of it. i love that. watched iron man iii. liked it more this time. all in all, a beautiful day. except for my stomach. i don't know how much longer i can... keep this up. what can i do to get a home. no one will tell me. it's either unrealistic waiting lists, or... my own talent. but how the fuck do i use that. what the fuck do i start off doing. i'll email monique from wings of laughter, and see what she says. that's a good idea, i meant to do that weeks ago.

dear starbucks ii

you are always very nice to me at this starbucks. and i appreciate that more than you know. so i should apologize and explain myself.

you should know, it actually triggers my ptsd every time i'm asked to buy something. i can't help that, however i try to keep it to myself until i'm able to get therapy for it. when you don't have an address, it makes it that much harder to accomplish.

i'm ozzy draven. i'm here to hopefully put an end to poverty. i want to put a stop to the way poor people are treated. it seriously bothers me to see poor people pushed around. i, myself, hate being told to move, when i'm standing on a sidewalk panhandling. people assume i'm dumb, that i don't know the laws. they think of me as a piece of trash they can just kick further down the road. and that makes me sick inside. and sometimes, i'll admit, it's hard to control myself in those situations. i have given many people a good tongue lashing for it, surprising them by how intelligent/insane i seem. but i truly wish that rich people could ever understand; money is no reason to treat a fellow human that way, i don't care if they're drug addict scumbags, thieves, liars, i don't care, there's no excuse to treat a person that way. personally, i don't like them either, i don't trust them, they have stolen from me, ripped me off, and worse. but if i acted the same way, i would be no better. no one else is going to help these people. especially not the rich.

that being said, i understand, in the societal perspective, that you have a store to run, with an image to keep. if it were my store, i wouldn't want dirty looking people camping all around it either, believe me, i understand.

but please understand where i'm coming from as well, and hopefully, with a mutual understanding of eachother, you'll have no reason to think any worse of me. i don't like doing this, or even talking about this, in fact i'm shaking as i write this, but it has to be done. i've been through too much, and come too far. i'm surprised i'm still standing, but while i am, i have to do what i can to put an end to poverty. i hope to give people like me a place on this earth to go, to wash this monetary society from their souls, to see the world with new potential. i hope to do this the most peaceful way possible. but we all need an answer.

rich people live luxurious lives, while poor people slave away and can't even afford to buy a hot chocolate every morning, and i'm beyond sick of seeing it. money does nothing but disturb me anymore, and makes me cringe at the thought of it. maybe i have gotten a little too lost in my world. it's hard to explain, and people never believe me, but when i close these two eyes, my third eye sees utopia. the future that's not that far away. potential. hope. peace. harmony. life. the same thing john lennon saw. that's what i spend my days thinking about, i've spent my life researching, learning, contemplating. beyond all the music, books, movies, clothing, foods, electronic inventions and other assorted creations i want to release into the world, that's a key piece. i hope to start off making my music, and once i get to meet some of the bigger minds in this world, through that path, i can leap toward the big goal.

please don't think any worse of me. i'm sorry i brought that up, i just couldn't hold it in today. i saw that more this morning than most others, and i apologize. please forgive me for speaking up, it's not my place, and there's currently nothing i can do to stop it. so it's best to stay silent. my mind has been through so much, though, that sometimes i don't remind myself of that, and i make an ass of myself. please understand, you did nothing wrong. it's just the bigger picture that i'm seeing, and those small obstacles... i sometimes stumble over. i'm very sorry. please enjoy your holidays, and forget that i said anything. and please, give me a chance. hopefully, it'll only be a couple more months, and i'll be out of your hair. till then, i try to just stay as invisible and unseen as possible, because my issues with people are hard to control. please forgive me for making a scene, i truly did not intend to. thank you again.

technical difficulties

just posting a small one to see if my blog is working. why is it, that when i use a windows computer these days, i run into way too many... roadblocks, obstacles, what's the word. everything takes so much time, it's so fucking difficult or impossible, and i spend hours just waiting for folders to load. folders full of files i already have on my fucking computer, it's not downloading time, it's just loading time, how fucking stupid is that, and am i the only one who thinks this is stupid. i don't remember having to do that shit on windows xp. waiting for folders to load. it doesn't matter if it's a folder full of high resolution wallpapers, a gigabyte worth of files, or a folder with one album in it. the folder containing the birthday massacre's pins and needles album, that folder alone takes at least a minute to load, each time. and it's displayed in list view. not details, not thumbnails, and it doesn't matter where i download that album from, this has happened on three laptops of varying speeds now, that folder always takes so long to load. i watch it loading. track one, in the dark. waiting. track two shows up. waiting. track three shows up. that stupid bar going across the top, why the fuck did they think that up, just to make you feel like it's gonna load faster, when they designed it not to. why would they design a computer operating system that's this stupid? i just don't get it. why do they have to have so much control over our desktops.

and they say 'well what if someone else needs to use your computer'.

then why do we need passwords?

seems like this could be figured out, and simplified, with just a little bit of thinking.

i picture walking up to any screen. touching my thumb to it, and it ripples and loads my desktop. remotely, from wherever my home computer is running. back in the day, they used to call this remote assistance, but i always wondered why the fuck the only use for it, would be for tech support. no, you idiots, it's remote access, meaning you can access your running desktop from anywhere. then they came up with syncronization of files, but didn't think to put those two together. yeah, microsoft should not be in charge. either that, or they should have hired me, but how would they know, they can't find me on their own internet, which tells me they don't know what the fuck they're doing.

but i would like to walk up to any screen. just big pieces of unbreakable glass, touch screen, thumb print technology, all that shit, you touch your thumb to it, it ripples out and loads your desktop as it looks right at that moment in your home. or wherever you have your home computer set up. resolutions don't matter anymore, as you can shrink anything you want to fit on whatever screen you're on, and still be able to read the text. that could have been done when high definition finally came out. but no one figured out to implement that either. but you load your desktop, and you're able to do whatever you want on there, it's connected to the internet like your compass is connected to the earth's magnetic energy. i can't wait to figure that one out. no more charging, no more wifi, this was in the earth the whole time. everything electric uses magnets, then why can't my laptop run without being plugged in? my compass doesn't need a battery.

but walk up to a screen, touch it, and it loads your desktop. you can show anyone you want what's on there, you can set it to recognize your girlfriend's thumbprint if you want, so you can both use it, or anyone else for that matter. you can restrict their access to certain things, if you like. people can see what your desktop looks like, you can show them something, flip through pictures, play a movie, music, whatever you want. but as soon as they touch that screen... their desktop loads. no one can make changes to yours, and if they do, those changes are logged in the home computer, so they can be reversed later. no passwords. no security. no insecurity. people feeling safe enough to share their digital lives with whoever they want, and not having to worry about 'is that guy gonna delete my movie collection'.

i imagine hearing someone walk by and look and my screen, and say 'wow, dude, your desktop looks cool, nice button'. won't be long till that's made into a popular bumpersticker, 'nice button'. fine print underneath, '©OzzTek Industries'. OzzTek is just a button, and from there, it's a fully customizable menu that plays your files. that's all it has to do, since everything software wise is inherent in the menu. it's customizable, which means you can add to it, if there's something you don't like, you can change it or remove it... for example, if you don't like listening to music at all, you can disable or remove the audio playing portion of the menu. if you like. if you no longer want to see pictures of your dead mother for whatever reason, you can remove or disable the picture showing function. you don't need three different picture displaying programs, because you can edit and change the one you've got however you see fit. if you want the forward and back buttons to display on the top corners of the picture, with no frame or anything, and a delete button on the bottom right corner, and nothing else... that's your choice. i encourage it.

you just know what the fucking government would say though. 'but that gives everyone a different desktop, and freedoms they shouldn't have with files, and that could create total chaos and anarchy!'.

what's wrong, scared of a little freedom? scared of people growing out from under your control? scared of people opposing you? or are you just trying to breed individuality out of us, so you can have an army of mindless clones and robot slaves? i'm doing this to give people their desktops back to them. freedom with your own creativity, wherever you wish to take it. whether it be visual arts, audio, literary... it's up to you now. no more paying six grand for adobe software. just edit the menu. configure it however the fuck you want.

i picture walking through a street where there is a row of screens. fuck libraries and their dinosaur computers, this is right outside a row of stores in downtown wherever. there's a bike rack, a charging station for those electric cars, maybe a water fountain in the background, people walking around... and there is a row of screens, and some of them are being used by people, to check their email, send an email, show a friend a picture, whatever. i'd love to walk by that row, and see everyone's desktops looking as unique as possible.

that girl there, with the cute blonde hair, and the pink dress. i picture her desktop having flowers on it, and little animated bees flying from flower to flower. and when she mouses over one flower, her ozztek menu pops up. when she right clicks one of the bees, another little ozztek menu pops up, and in that menu, she just has a few of her favourite picture files. maybe there's a little picture frame in the top right corner of her desktop, and it displays some of these pictures. no more taskbars with uniformed icons, and unchanged google chrome icons. no more white screens. no more white anything. i want to see white, grey, and black, gone from people's desktops. i want to see colour. shapes. designs that are not bound to anyone else's limitations. set your mind free on your very own desktop, with no limitations.

if you want google chrome, but want to make changes to it, you can do that. all you really need is the browser in ozztek, and you can make it look and work just like chrome, or you can make it look and work however the fuck you want. if you want the icon to look like chrome's icon, that's very unimaginative of you, but go for it. if you want your browser icon to look like jupiter, like i do... that's your choice. you can make it look like a stink bug, if you want. or a mechanical fish, i don't care. just as long as everyone has something different. i want to see a girl with flowers and bees on her desktop. i want to see a guy with rusted mechanical gears on his desktop, and his buddy next to him with shiny metal lookin' sharp things. little strips of pink for his girlfriend. mainly, i want to see colour. no more grey, no more white. one girl typing up an email in a pink window. and all the window needs, and all she has displaying, is the top field, where she can just click and select a friend to send it to, type in the subject right under that, and then type the message in the pink square, and then click the desert rose coloured send button. you don't need a bunch of other shit there. if you want the attachment button to show up, just mouse over a certain corner of the email, wherever you decided to put it. it will appear, click it, little box pops up, drag your picture into the box, it shrinks back into the email, uploads the file, sends the email. the guy next to her sending another email, and behind his email, he has a picture of a naked lady. in the lady's right hand, he can choose the recipient of the email, say his friend blob. and that's all it has to display. to: blob. in the lady's left hand, says subject: hey, douche! and on her belly, you get to type your message in a font that looks white and gooey. her nipple is the send button. when he clicks send, the lady walks off the right side of his desktop. that kid wins my creativity award for the day. down the street, some old man, looking up some information on retirement, his desktop looks all 'war hero' with a captain america style goin'. some big star is his ozztek button, but it doesn't show up until he mouses over a certain area of his screen, like... captain america's head, for example. mouse over captain america's head, and a star appears on his hat thing. he either left clicks for one menu, or right clicks for another menu. he has a secret hidden menu with military files hidden in the lady's bra, who's walking through the background of his desktop. you can animate whatever you want, have everything else stay still... like the whole captain america scene is still, but he just has this one lady in the background animated to walk around the street behind captain america. and when you click a certain way on her bra, a little envelope flies out, he opens the file in it titled 'notes on freedom', types something into it, when he closes it, it's automatically saved, so no unnecessary boxes popping up asking you redundant permissions like 'are you sure you want to save the changes to this fi...' shut the fuck up already! yes! if you think those are annoying, you can stop seeing them. if you think the windows task bar is ugly and annoying and misplaced, you can change it, you can get rid of it. all the icons on your taskbar, you can have in one menu. all the rest of the icons in your start menu, you can have them in another menu. you can have as many menus as you want. mouse up to the top right corner of your desktop, right click, there's a menu just for porn. mouse over to the top left corner of your desktop, and left click, and there's a menu just for your cooking recipes. bottom right corner, there's a menu for all your movies. if you right click that same menu, it opens and shows a short list including netflix, youtube, and naked news. you can have it show just icons, or just text, whatever you want. you can customize the icons. say you want the naked news icon to be just a picture of a tit. youtube is a picture of an old smashed television from the seventies. netflix is a picture of a cartoonish worm whose eyes occasionally blink. you can set the icons to display horizontally, or vertically, or diagonally, if you feel like it. you can change it anytime you want.

'is not this simpler'... loki.

anyway. that's it for my morning cup of brain spew. mind snot. thought boogers. oatmeal.

i'm so confused today. i wish things could be easier.