the newz: this iz some correspondence i had with another da uzer. for the sake of not pissing anyone off, or making this go any further, i'll just refer to her az 'she', in this journal. the reazon i'm posting this here, iz not to piss her or anyone else off, but to give people who watch me something to think about. i am hoping that this will not piss anyone off, and i am hoping that 'she' doezn't comment on this, to push this argument on any further. i am hoping that this endz the argument, and gets this whole issue out of the way, so that we can talk about something else, something better. if not, then i apologize, and wish 'her' the best. in that case, i am just asking that she ignore this journal, and move on. i don't mean to cauze any humiliation or anger, or any other emotion in posting this. i just want to share this with the few people who watch me, that iz all. (all my afterthoughts are in parentheses).
(here iz the original conversation that started it all):
The Reverend says:
hey
she says:
hey there
haha jinx
The Reverend says:
how are you?
she says:
good, long time no talk
well kinda good.
The Reverend says:
long time no rhyme
how kinda good?
she says:
eh..just work getting me down a bit. plus two boring days. I went to my boyfriends tonight and he just like..slept.
it was boring lol
The Reverend says:
lame
she says:
wow how weird..
i go on deviant art and i have no comments and no devwatchs..
The Reverend says:
woah, weird... da haz been a little lame lately... inactive
she says:
i guess man
i wrote a new poem and everything..
The Reverend says:
i haven't even gone thru my devwatch yet today
been burning and ripping cdz, talking to people, burning more cdz, watching youtube shyt... haven't even been on da, except to read the last poem i posted
she says:
talking to whom?
The Reverend says:
my mom, bobbi (a little bit), heather... mostly my mom
asking what muzik she wants burned
been adding to my playlist, takin shyt out... you know
anywayz, what's goin on with you, i'm sure you don't care about how many cdz i've burned today
she says:
haha sure i do
nothing really..mostly work
crappy work
The Reverend says:
lame
work sucks
oh, haha... i wrote down this thought last night...
name: the reverend
occupation: phuk occupationz, i'm preoccupied with something better
haha
she says:
something better?
The Reverend says:
yup
being a writer, a father, and being free
she says:
how are you free?
The Reverend says:
who sayz you have to get paid for working
i don't have a job, i'm free of the man
she says:
yeah but without a job..you live with your mother..you cant be alone in your own place to be free. youre the opposite of free. I am aswell.
The Reverend says:
i'm on disability, so i get paid to do nuthing
she says:
oh well..
thats not something to brag about lol you must get so bored!
The Reverend says:
i'd rather live with my mom than have a job
she says:
FOREVER?
The Reverend says:
not az much az you'd think... i write alot, i have alot to occupy my time
she says:
dont you feel useless? I would without a job..
The Reverend says:
no, just while i'm on probation, then i'm publishing a book
she says:
in your different style of writing?
cause i know a lot of people wouldnt publish that style hun
The Reverend says:
no, see, that's the freedom i'm talking about, i don't pheel useless, i do plenty
she says:
im going to college so I can get a full time job and finally be free to start my life. (how can you call working, being free?)
The Reverend says:
well, i phigure it like this... when i publish my book, i'll publish two verzionz... the politikally correct verzion, and the deviant verzion... that way people have a choice, 'well, i can read different spelling, sure'
she says:
i gotta tell you...not a lot would want to read the different spelling
and its not politically incorrect to spell deviously haha
The Reverend says:
i'd like to do college someday, but first i want to make muzik... that's my plan... while i'm on probation, i ain't doin jack shyt... but when i get off probation, i'm moving to new york, starting a band, and recording my shyt
she says:
i would read it, but i know people are spelling nazis
newyork sucks my friends
The Reverend says:
well, you know what i mean... politikally correct iz a joke
she says:
it is too expensive to live there
too many bands live there and arent getting out there..
The Reverend says:
hey, if they have a muzik scene, i don't care how much it iz... there'z no muzik scene here
she says:
you gotta be better than good with your band..and unfornatly be marketable.
theres a music scene many other places
trust me ive been to NY
The Reverend says:
oh, phuk that, i know when someone hearz 'aquarius', a record deal iz on its way, guaranteed, i have no doubt about it
she says:
and it is crowded, no nature, just bad people, so much crime, no good places to live anymore and the rent is SOOO high
how do you possibly know that
and like i said..marketable.
The Reverend says:
well, phuk it, i don't care, i would go to la, but i don't want to drop off into the ocean while i'm recording 'the speed of mind'
she says:
im sorry but i gotta be realistc...making it in NY would be soo tough.
espcially since you are a little older.
The Reverend says:
phuk marketable, i plan to change the market, phuk record companiez, phuk the riaa
she says:
i love the fact you say fuck it toi the man
thats why i like you
but you gotta be a realist sometimes.
the man calls the shots sometimes...and doing somekthing like that works maybe 20% (or less) of the time.
The Reverend says:
dude, you're canadian, man, why are you hitting me with all theze misconceptionz and preconceived notionz? i don't give a phuk about that shyt, i just want to make my muzik, however that iz
she says:
what the FUCK
The Reverend says:
realists are just people who refuze to evolve
she says:
dude, im canadian? as in..I dont know shit? I dont anything about where you live?
The Reverend says:
no, az in you know more
she says:
what..?
I am a realist.
Id love to believe in peace, and I try to be peaceful
but that is something that will never happen./
The Reverend says:
i respectfully disagree... i plan to change shyt, that's what i'm here for
she says:
Id love to believe you at 30 can make it in the music business, but the world is mean and cruel and you have to be the whole package...maybe you do have a wonderful badn at your side, I wouldnt know.
The Reverend says:
evolution
she says:
but how can you plan to change 'shit'
when some people hate your spelling so they dont read it
and how do you plan to change 'shit'
when youre on probabtion?
you want to leave your children behind to chase a musical dream?
thats a perfect example right there of a cruel cruel world
and i hate to say it, but I am a realist, and it IS a cruel world.
thjats why you gotta get a good paying job and try to live
because thats all you can do
raise a family, be happy, and try to live.
because man...
(so i say) you are suppozed to know everything about the muzik buziness when you're 19, and get into it then, instead of waiting and maturing a while, and learning more about life, and the muzik buziness? i'm 30, and i know nuthing, and you're 19, and you know everything?
The Reverend says:
dude, you're thinking that i care what people think about me... i don't give a phuk, i'm not a realist, i live in my childhood imagination, and no one can kill that... and i'm taking my children with me... the world iz what you make of it...
she says:
you cant afford two children and yourself in NY. unless you really do make a lot in a band..and from expereince..I know you dont until youre big. (so, you've lived in new york with two children and a band?)
youre always talking about the 'nazis' and people thinking backwards
The Reverend says:
people think that's all they can do, becauze that's all that's ever been done... i disagree, the only way to evolve iz to do something new
she says:
and ranting about the bad in the worlsd
i agree, i do do NEW things
but youre not doing anything to help anyone..how is that 'evolving' (what doez evolving have to do with helping anyone?)
The Reverend says:
just becauze i rant doezn't mean i believe or don't believe, i know that the world iz almost ready for me, and the change i bring with me
she says:
and what can you change?
The Reverend says:
if you read my poetry, i am helping people, becauze i'm helping them to wake up and evolve
she says:
suddenly no one will be a homophobe and no one will steal?
The Reverend says:
i can change everything
she says:
ive read your poetry
and although you have great ideas
you are not waking anyone up (well, i'm obviously not waking you up)...its all been said before in many different ways (some dumbass therapist once said 'evolution iz over'. if it's all been said and done, then why the phuk are we still here? people who think it's already been done, have nuthing new to offer, and have no reazon to be here, other than to be in the way of thoze who are doing something new. 'you're either in or in the way', -ozzy ozbourne).
and I love it, I do
but its not helping people evolve (that's what you think).
The Reverend says:
ok, listen, check this out... when we were kidz, we were told that we could be and do anything, but somewhere along the line, that image iz murdered by the 'real' world... well, they didn't kill that idea in me, and i'm still alive, and i've had many many many vizionz about what i have to do here, to change anything, so trust me, i know i can do it, you just have to believe in me
she says:
what can you possibly do
there are little things
but really
The Reverend says:
just sit back and watch, dear
she says:
you CANT do anything
no..you have no idea yourself.
its fun to believe in crap, but thats doesnt make it happen.
The Reverend says:
dude, don't tell me what i can and can't do, just believe in me
she says:
if qwe could do anything
i would be a fucking astronaught
we cant
we have to do so much shit
in order to do things
or become things
i understand helping your fellow man
or saving lives
but...do something for the BIG picture? its almost all been done.
and you cant stop war...you cant speak with every country
The Reverend says:
dude, are you listening to anything i'm saying? i know i can do it, i've had vizionz out the ass about what i need to do, it iz possible
and no, it hazn't already been done... not what i intend to do
just sit back and watch, and let me prove it to you
she says:
prove it to me?
Im sorry, i dont believe you, you wont tell me.
I think you have no idea for yourswelf.
The Reverend says:
i've had so many people try to crush my dreamz, but i'm 30, and it hazn't happened yet, no one can crush my dreamz, becauze my dreamz are based in the REAL reality, not this phuking dreamland we live in
if you don't believe me, that's fine, but i'm doing it anyway, with or without you
i've written about what i intend to do, and i'm putting it all in my book, but i can't put it in this im, it's too much
she says:
we dont live in a dreamland..
The Reverend says:
i do have an idea about myself, it's rooted at the core of my being, it's the reazon i'm here, man, listen to me
she says:
i just explained that we DONT.
i only listen to fact..
The Reverend says:
i respectfully disagree, dude
she says:
disagree with what?
The Reverend says:
with everything you're saying, 'that it's not possible', i say it iz
she says:
if i am realist...talking about the wars and horrible shit happening in the world..I LIVE IN A FUCKING DREAMLAND?
im sorry sir, but you DO.
thinking you can mount to some high pedestal.
Sure, do great things...but how will you change the world?
The Reverend says:
it's not a pedestal, it's POTENTIAL
she says:
gonna kill someone? gonna take power? (iz that what you have to do to change the world? what the phuk?)
The Reverend says:
ok, listen, let me tell you about my pyramid theory
we are all blocks in a pyramid, and thoze of us on the bottom have all the power, becauze we support the top, the people who think they're in cuntrol, but if we walk out from under the pyramid, they have nuthing to stand on
i can't change the top, but i can change the bottom
she says:
uh huh
how?
how can you change the bttom
even in your state there is no way you can get political attention
you dont have schooling for that, i assume.
The Reverend says:
i don't need politikal attention, you're not getting it
she says:
what am i supposed to get
you lead, they follow?
how are they gonna know to follow (uh, they're all sheep, trust me, following iz all they know how to do)
what about the bottom that love the way things are (if you would read a book, you'd discover that no one on the bottom likes the way thingz are. ever hear of noam chomsky? amy goodman? alex jonez? read a book!)
The Reverend says:
i just need people to listen to me, they don't have to follow anything or anyone
she says:
by listening they are following. (there'z a huge difference between listening and following)
espiaclly if they are agreeing (again, a huge difference...)
The Reverend says:
not true, dude
she says:
so they just listen
and the pyriamid tumbles
The Reverend says:
i started off by listening, then i started talking, get it?
she says:
listen to what?
The Reverend says:
i waz turned on, and now i intend to turn otherz on
she says:
to what?
The Reverend says:
it's simple, it's like a lightswitch
not turned on to anything, just turned ON
she says:
it sure is fun to talk shit incircles with no fucking point
that is what you are doing.
The Reverend says:
becauze you aren't listening to me
she says:
i am trying but you arent explaining
The Reverend says:
i've made my point a few timez now, but you just want to argue
she says:
oh man I smoke pot and I make more sense.
no i dont
i want to know
if it is a good idea
id love to hear
but you wont tell me..thus I dont believe you fully have a plan
you havent made a point..youre talking in metaphors
i cant just suddenly 'know' the meanings
The Reverend says:
ok, like i said, my plan haz already been written, and iz on my da page... but i know that my muzik and books will get some people'z attention, and all i need iz a few people, and then it spreadz like a virus, and people start listening, turning on, waking up, and spreading further... what i'm saying iz contagious, becauze it's the truth, that people need to hear, and some of us...
have been wanting to hear
she says:
ok..link me
i want to read it.
(mom would like to add) the profoundness of the stupidity just numbs my brain.
The Reverend says:
it's everything... i can't link you every page... just pick something at random, and read it, and then go on to the next thing... but you won't be able to do it tonight, i've written way too much... and i don't expect you to read everything, but if you're interested, just pick something, start somewhere, and it will become clearer after each thing you read...
here, start with this...
she says:
okay so basicallty you dont have a clear idea..
or else you would explain it. (uh, how many timez have i said that it's too much to explain in a phuking im?)
The Reverend says:
i just explained it... 'spread the truth like a virus'... that's it, and you can do that thru books, muzik, moviez, the media
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/22909787/
people WILL listen
and they'll turn on
and wake up
and start talking
you like pink floyd, don't you?
she says:
yup.
The Reverend says:
do you know about the publius enigma? they were just the first step, timothy leary waz the second, darwin, terrence mckenna... i am the next step (actually, darwin waz the first step, timothy leary waz the second, i'm the third)
she says:
you dont believe we evolved from apes?
The Reverend says:
it's done in steps... where i leave off, someone else will pick up, and we will keep waking up
christianz picked the 'ape' to say we evolved from, becauze the ape looks like a stupid creature, and they can uze it to make phun of us, and refuze to listen to us... the truth iz, we evolved from single celled organizmz
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/24991042/ read that
she says:
are you fucking serious?
christians dont believe in people evolving.
evolutionists DO
The Reverend says:
i didn't say that
she says:
we did evolve from apes
dont tell me you believe that aliens were here first
The Reverend says:
i didn't say that they believe in people evolving, they just uze the ape to make us look stupid in their 3yez
she says:
we do look like an ape (ok, what the phuk iz she talking about???)
we have some much in common with the creature
it is so sad you dont understand that
The Reverend says:
and yes, alienz planted us on this planet... but i don't believe that... i don't BELIEVE anything... beliefs are dangerous, beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning, a nonfunctioning mind iz clinikally dead, believe in nuthing
no, i didn't say that we didn't evolve from apes.. i'm saying that apes evolved from something
she says:
aliens didnt man..i believe they are real..
oh god
ive heard of this before
that apes evolved from fucking a type of 'sasquatch' that were the aliens slaves
we were created to be there slaves or some shit..
The Reverend says:
i didn't say that either, dude, what the phuk?
she says:
then what
tell me what
The Reverend says:
everything on this planet evolved from some sort of singlecelled organizm... we didn't just appear here az apes, everything evolved from something else
look at how a solar system iz born, and formed... it starts from something small, and growz, and evolvez
she says:
i know that buddy
The Reverend says:
then why are you saying that i said that we were slavez or some shyt?
i never said 'slave'
she says:
i just heard of that beofre
it sounded like you were leading up to that
what else to read
The Reverend says:
nowhere near that, hun
ok, lemme see...
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/22909787/
i have tonz of good journalz, and there are actual ideaz in some of them, about what i want to do
she says:
i just read that one..
The Reverend says:
oh, sorry, i didn't know i linked that already
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/21441912/
but it's not just in the journalz, it's in my poetry and shyt too... like 'red immunity', and 'shaed my skin', and 'think'
well, hun, i gotta eat something, or i'm going to pass out... but keep reading, and if you have any questionz, i'd be happy to answer them... just give me a minute...
she says:
The title references an idea first conceived by Drunvalo Melchizedek concerning the possibility of reaching a state of evolution at which the body would have two more than the normal 46 total chromosomes and leave a currently disharmonious state.[2][3] The premise is that humans would deviate from the current state of human DNA which contains 44 autosomes and 2 sex chromosomes. The next step of ev
if we are constantly evolving
why on EARTH would we ever have to think or realize it
wouldnt it just happen (oh, yeah, just sit there starring off into space, and drooling all over yourself, and suddenly you pop a Th3rd 3ye, right, sure, uh huh, so what are people doing thinking about shyt, when we don't have to? oops, i just evolved).
The Reverend says:
that iz my spring theory... have you read that?
she says:
yeah...
The Reverend says:
sometimez, not all the time, but sometimez, we need oppression in order to jump upwardz
hun, i gotta eat something, or i'm going to pass out... but keep reading, and if you have any questionz, i'd be happy to answer them... just give me a minute...
she says:
so tool made you come on to this (iz that a bad thing?)
just because we have two more chormosones..suddenly there will be grids appearing and shit
honestly
this sounds fucking crazy to me (i'm sure the earth revolving around the sun iz crazy to you too).
sure we can evolve, but thatll happen naturally, and over time
jungian theory
you clearly BELIEVE this if you want to go preach it in your poetry (who said anything about preaching? am i preaching?).
im sorry but to me this is pure religious bullshit and i cant believe someone i thought was so intelligent believes this..
this is all based on religion
there is nothing to back it up
and many many MANY people arent gonna listen to more religious crap being thrown there way
The Reverend says:
again, i don't believe anything, dude, i've said that. honestly, i think drunvalo iz nutty, but if i took him out of that journal, it wouldn't have made az much sense. you can take the fact from it, and not be religious, that's my evolutionizm redefined journal... i extracted the truth from it, and compared it to all the vizionz i've had... i'm not religious, and it's not a belief...
take it with a grain of salt, so to speak
she says:
im sorry...no way people are gonna listen.
The Reverend says:
well, i listened, are you saying i'm nutty?
she says:
im sorry..but the way 'run around' throwing metaphors and then me reading about this and also knowing your fav band is tool..
and seeing your theories are taken from two major religions. (uh, which two religionz? do you even know?).
its...insane.
The Reverend says:
dude
ever hear of joseph campbell
she says:
im reading this
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/journal/17322227/
The Reverend says:
you can extract facts and truth from phuking anything, it doezn't matter where it came from, if it ringz true, you can chooze to think it
she says:
you cant say you dont believe
if you are going to tell people
The Reverend says:
first of all, i didn't write that journal, it sayz in there that i copied it from two different sites
she says:
and you think it is correct when everyone else thinks its crazy
your beliving
The Reverend says:
why? why do i have to believe? i don't believe in anything! so stop saying i do, or that i have to, cauze i don't, and i am not telling other people to believe this shyt either, i'm telling them to think for themselvez!!!
she says:
these people all did fucked up drugs and thought of this shit, then later elaborated and are making money
I am thinking to myself
The Reverend says:
am i making money? no
she says:
not you
the creators of this ludacris crap
The Reverend says:
to think for yourself, you don't have to believe this 'crap', it's just a phuking idea
she says:
an idea that you earlier stated
and said
you were going to change the world with
but if people are thinking for themselves
they will obviously brush you off as crazy
im sorry, i am a good debater, and I feel bad for putting you down (sure you do. and you're only a good 'debater', becauze you refuze to listen, and contemplate an idea. it's the same reazon religious people can 'debunk' facts about evolution).
but i just find it sad you cant see what kinda crap this is..
The Reverend says:
there'z a difference between debating, and arguing
she says:
i feel the same way for christians. Sure, think what you want, but its sad
im not arugeing
I know Im right.
(knowing you're right, just provez that you're wrong. you can't make an informed decizion unless you're fully informed. it's best to keep your mouth shut, and let people think you're stupid, rather than opening it and proving it.)
The Reverend says:
i'm not saying that it's not crap, i'm saying extract the truth from it, and think for yourself
she says:
theres no truth except for the fact we are evolving (and what the phuk iz that suppozed to mean? do you think about anything before you say it?)
I alwasy thought that
of course we are
it is being proven everyday
but not in that way at all
our bodies are changing
but..thats it (oh, so only our bodiez can change, but not our mindz? then why have we been learning shyt for so many thouzandz of yearz? why do people write books? we can grow a Th3rd 3ye, but we're not suppozed to think about it? what the phuk?).
we are adapting as all animals do
but i gotta go,..
im sorry i riled you up
but i am realist. and this is................garbage? (remind me to stay away from """realists""". they're just another phuked up, misguided group of people, like the jehova'z witnessez).
The Reverend says:
ok
she says:
i hope we can still be friends
The Reverend says:
of course
she says:
good.
send me a msg if you need to tell me something (a note) Please do
love bye
The Reverend says:
later
----------------------------------
(i commented on rabbit's page) hey, thank you for faving 'lonely horizon', and thank you even more for not complaining about it. (if you're wondering what i'm talking about, just read the comments on it).
(rabbit replied) i gave them something to think about. probably will backfire in my face but at least i think i made my point.
---
(she commented on 'lonely horizon' ) I like what this poem is about, but may I critisize?
There seems to be a real messiness to some parts. Some lines ryhme and others don't. And when they do, they don't do it in any order. Makes it a little confusing for the reader. Overall, great imagery created.
But..I know you say you can't believe in anything, but you obviously BELIEVE that your shouldn't believe. If you think something is correct, no doubt about it, you BELIEVE that. The definetion:
–verb (used without object) 1. to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so: Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.
You can't say you don't believe in anything, because at least subconciously, you do. Tool does too, I am sure of it.
---
(rabbit said) can i ask you a question? would you critisize a modern abstract artist for incongruency and structural rebellion?
is it really that important to be exact and literal in every sense and meaning of each word? if so, you are missing out on alot of great things.
---
(she replied) No it isn't. Thats why I am a fan of his writing. But sometimes, it just makes no sense.
Sorry, but deviant art is here so people can comment and critique things. Excuse me for telling him where he could fix or make the poem better. I expect people to tell me the same things. Not all poems deserve a 'great job!'. Some need a little something extra.
---
(rabbit replied) not saying it is, just saying that in this instance, you might want to rephrase your critique differently for him. he might've viewed it as not critique, but rather complaining. rather ask him why he wrote it this way, why he used such a phrase or what he wanted to convey.
everyone's idea of belief is different and in itself belief is a moot word. it means everything and nothing. dictionary reference will not help in abstract thinking for it's too precise and literal. in my opinion, dictionary reference kills the point in poetry.
but that's my opinion. also i'd like to point out that everyone is touchy, i certainly am, and no one can accurately read anothers reaction in type alone.
---
(she replied) Very true..but I hate using emoticons, so no one can really tell at all haha.. (first of all, she wazn't talking about phuking emoticonz, she waz talking about how writing lacks the inflection in people'z voicez).
---
(this iz my reply to her original comment on the poem)
dude. what the phuk? have you heard of the word 'redefine'? i don't even know where you got that definition from, but it's far away from where i am. think outside the box, pleaze. if i say i don't believe in anything, i mean it. people fight and kill over beliefs. beliefs are destroying this world. ideaz are a phuk of alot eazier to change than beliefs. i have ideaz. i change them frequently. i do not believe in anything. i have no beliefs. i don't believe a damn thing. i think for myself. no beliefs, at all. i don't believe that i shouldn't believe, or anything like that. i'll go so far az to say that i hate that word. beliefs are dangerous. beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. a nonfunctioning mind iz clinikally dead. believe in nuthing. i do not have any beliefs. yes, it iz possible. nuthing iz written in stone. there iz no spoon. i do not believe that i don't believe, or anything like that. i have ideaz. my thoughts are very fluid, and alwayz evolving. no beliefs. no beliefs whatsoever. that, dude, iz freedom.
why do you have to be such a phuking pessimist? can't you just let me be who i am, and not shoot down all my ideaz? who sayz i have to do what you want? that iz not freedom.
i wazn't asking for critique. this poem waz meant to be this way. cloudy, vizual, not alot of meaning. it's unuzual for how i write. i don't alwayz rhyme, and this poem izn't meant to be 'correct' in any way. i go against the grain, i write how no one else iz willing to write. that iz suppozed to be a good thing.
'only if one believez in something, can one act purposefully'? and you say that sometimez i don't make sense. doez that make any phuking sense whatsoever? it iz possible to 'act purposefully' without believing in anything. whoever wrote that definition needz to read a phuking book. only if one haz a truly open mind, can one do whatever they want.
and az far az tool goez, and you being 'sure of it', well, why don't you ask them. how can you be 'so sure' of a band you've never heard and know nuthing about? if you're so stuck on beliefs, then nuthing i can tell you will help you understand me any better. it's sad to see that you're that clozedminded. you're phuking nineteen, and you think you're that much smarter and more experienced than i am. apparently, you've got alot of growing up to do. believe in that.
---
(she just replied with this) Wow..my oh my. For someone who people are CONSTINTLY critisizing, you sure are being rude. I was trying to tell you what I thought of your poem. You cant post things up and expect everyone to praise it. I read the poem how I READ it..even if you didnt mean it that way, it came across the way it did.
Just because I am 19 doesnt mean I know nothing. Id love to see how your 19 year old self would react to reading that. Im sorry that Im not smart and on probation like you for doing something stupid. You are a real air head to put me down, at least I didnt have MY kids taken away. Holy shit. Think about your own life before you critisize me, I dont care if I dont know the whole story. You obviously had to of done something purely retarded.
And just because I dont like tool doesnt mean I havent heard or listened to their music. I respect their artistic ability. Thanks though. What a great comment.
---
(and this iz my reply. let's hope she doezn't reply back) dude. first of all, learn how to spell. secondly, who iz constantly criticizing me? who? and third, i'm the one being rude? do you remember our im conversation? you were the one being rude, and telling me i can't do what i want to do. that's not rude? and my 19 year old self reading my poem? that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. of course my 19 year old self would like it, i'm still me, but evolved. think about what you say before you say it. i'm not putting you down, i'm telling you like it iz. and my kidz were never taken away from me, they were taken away from bobbi. know what you're talking about before you say shyt. so it's ok for you to criticize me, even though you don't know my story, but no one can criticize you? who the phuk do you think you are? you think you can say whatever the phuk you want, and no one better talk back. i'm so glad i'm not 19 anymore. you refuze to listen to anything anyone sayz, cauze you think you're right, and everyone else iz wrong. THAT iz just like religious people. phukin... just let it go, dude.
---
(and, of course, this iz her reply. she just haz to have the last word, cauze she'z a spoiled little brat, and she knowz she'z right) You are still on probabtion..it proves my point enough. Bye. (ok, what the phuk doez that have to do with anything? did she even read a word i said? and provez what point? she waz never making a point, she waz just wanting to argue with me, and disagree with everything i said. what the phuk? i'm on probation, so that meanz i am not allowed to write poetry? i'm not allowed to say anything? hello? iz this thing on?
let's just hope she lets this go, and i don't hear from her again).
---
(this iz what she posted in her journal) I recently had an arguement with a friend on here who I won't name, but it was about religious (even though you think its not, it IS) beliefs, and I put him down. I'm sorry, I will always supply facts. You tell me something like that..I can't help it, I think its crazy talk. (do you still believe that the earth iz flat?) Believe what you want, I don't care, just don't try to proove it to me, because I can so easily disproove it. (you were asking me to prove it to you, i did, and you kept saying i didn't. and being able to 'so eazily disprove it', doezn't mean shyt. skeptiks can debunk anything, becauze they throw a bunch of bullshyt at it, and let their beliefs get in the way of truly understanding anything, and ignore all the facts, becauze they don't think they're facts). Anyways..sorry. I am a true athiest. In EVERY sense of the word. (tell me, then, what doez an athiest believe? i started off being an atheist, and i evolved. i took it a few steps further, and became an evolutionist. that doezn't mean i believe in any god, or anything. it meanz that i know that i'm evolving, becauze when i compare life now to life in the dark agez, i clearly see evolution smiling at me. sorry to trample all over your beliefs).
---
(and this iz a small conversation we had later)
she says:
hey butt buddy lol
The Reverend says:
butt buddy?
she says:
just a joke. (not very phunny)
The Reverend says:
ah
what's up
she says:
nothing watched the movie coraline
stop motion animation
good movie
The Reverend says:
cool... i have 'knowing' from netflix... i'm about to watch it here in a while
i waz out all day, driving around
she says:
i worked lol]
The Reverend says:
cool
she says:
not cool (uh, if it's not cool, then why the phuk do you talk so much about it everytime i talk to you?)
but i have two days off
ahhh
im seeing bruno tomorrow. (well, of course you are. how many people just lost some braincellz. how many people just shot themselvez. and you wonder what's dumbing down amerika).
The Reverend says:
i hated when i worked at aohell, all everyone did, on their breaks, and before and after work, waz talk about work... i'd go out for a smoke break, and i'd talk about anything but work... in this movie, waking life, this guy sayz that you work a whole day, and go home, and then you wake up, and realize it waz a dream... not only do they get your waking hourz for minimum wage, but they get your dreamz for free
oh god, i just lost some braincellz
she says:
lol
well i work a tthe keg
i guess sometimes i do talk about work
but the rest of my life is better. (how iz it better? cauze you have money to party with? you don't like 'the man', but you don't mind spending hiz money)
the keg is a really fancy steakhouse
very highclass.
dont think they have them there where you are
but i could be mistaken
The Reverend says:
nope, down here we have outback steakhouse
she says:
we had one..it went out of business because of us (well, good for you)
The Reverend says:
ah
she says:
the keg is really popular in canda
but i know they have some in the states
more spread out tho
The Reverend says:
yeah, tucson sucks for good placez... it's suppozed to be a retirement town, but it's really phuking huge, and there'z nuthing to do here... moviez, the occazional concert, but even the concert venuez suck
she says:
i live in a big city
I love it.
not too crazy culteral
but a lot to do, and near niagra falls and toronto
The Reverend says:
speaking of... have you read 'dragon'z phire' or 'ghost town' yet? they talk about me living in tucson
she says:
not sure
The Reverend says:
can i link you? do you mind?
she says:
surwe
The Reverend says:
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/art/dragon-z-phire-13304349
http://inmydisk3yez.deviantart.com/art/ghost-town-13709602
you still there?
she says:
yeah i commented one
just busy hold on
The Reverend says:
oh cool, thanks
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
vocabularikal errorz
it's just phuking spelling, people! get over it!
the newz: ok, so i finally got a response back from *visionaryartists, but he, just like everyone else, and just like every group or club i've tried to submit to, and just like every other website dedicated to poetry, refuzed to post my poem, 'all that could be', becauze of my spelling. phuking naziz. so, i'm posting this to try and make myself clear one more time.
this iz my note correspondence with 'vizionaryartists':
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InMyDisk3yez said the following:
first of all, i don't know if i have joined this club yet, but i have been watching for a while now, and would like to join.
secondly, i would like to submit a poem, if that's ok. (i don't know if i should've sent you two separate notes to join and submit, but you didn't specify that in your journal, so if i'm wrong, pleaze excuze my mistake).
i consider myself to be a poetik vizionary. i write about our future, our 3volution, and our consciousness. so, in (sort of a) response to your journal on 'art and the sacred', i would like to submit a poem of mine that i consider to be rather vizionary. but, the thing iz, i spell 'deviously'. my spelling haz meaning for me, it's creative. so i hope that doezn't hinder you from posting my poem. i would sure appreciate it. thank you. the poem i would like to submit iz called 'all that could be'. (the poem iz posted in the category: literature, poetry, tranzgressive, open).
here iz my artist comment that i would like to have posted with this poem: first of all, i'm an 3volutionist. i spell it with a '3', for the Th3rd 3ye, and becauze some people say that we are 3volving up to our Th3rd stage of 3volution, and growing two more chromosomez, to achieve 4orty6ix and 2. secondly, i spell deviously. it holdz creative meaning for me. i spell certain wordz certain wayz, so that people will pay attention to that word, or, in some casez, 'stumble' over it. and, in other wayz, for example, i spell some wordz uzing a 'z' if it haz a 'z' sound, or an 's' if it haz an 's' sound. for example, the word 'rezistance', or 'cats and dogz'. to me, it's logikal; it makes sense. so if you want to comment negatively about my spelling, pleaze, don't waste your time; i've heard it all.
this poem, 'all that could be', iz about our 3volution, and our way out of this politikally stagnant mess we're currently in. i have a theory, i call it my 'spring theory'. we are like a spring sitting upright on a table. if you push down on it, or 'suppress' it, it will rezist, and push back upwardz. eventually, it will win, and bounce out from under your hand. so, we are like a slinky going up stairz. in this case, religion and the government are the oppressorz, and people creating poetry and art like this, are the rezistance.
i consider this poem to be 'vizionary', becauze it spæks about our future, and our unity az a collective, in a way that we should all be conscious of. we are 3volving, and we eventually need to join in the collective consciousness, and 3volve together, so that we can ascend to the next level. in fact, this waz inspired by a vizion i had, about our future. sylvia browne said once that this world iz going to end in about ninetyfive yearz. although, many people believe that we're going to 3volve, or ascend, or that something magikal iz going to happen on december twentyfirst, twentytwelve. something iz obviously happening, and if you can't see it, then you need to 'squeegee' your Th3rd 3ye. the symbolizm in this poem comez from my dreamz, and my yearz of selfdiscovery and 3volution. it makes me pheel confident that we are all 3volving, and that, soon, we will all see where this iz going. thank you for reading.
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InMyDisk3yez said the following:
did you not want to post my poem?
----------
visionaryartists said the following:
(all my responsez to hiz comments are in parentheses, and all the links are my doing).
ImMyDisk3yez (you can't even spell my name right, and you're bitching about my spelling, just like every other group or website i've tried to post my poetry on. you're all the same, you're a bunch of hypocrites).
I apologize for taking unprofessionally, ridiculously long to respond (you have formed your first sentence wrong. you should have said ...'an unprofessional, ridiculously long time'...). To be honest, I've been considering your work for a while and have been on the fence about it. (being on the fence, or waffling, or flipflopping iz politikally incorrect now). Your spelling, at first read, which you've heard many times, (sooo, like, you need to repeat it) is at first obnoxious and even offensive to the reader (offensive? ignorance and an unwillingness to 3volve, and accept change iz offensive. offensive? really? my spelling iz offensive? are you shytting me? if change iz obnoxious and offensive, then i'm on the wrong planet. phuk, i'm even in the wrong universe, apparently. why did people freak out for so many yearz over e e cummingz uzing only lowercase letterz and no capitalz, especially when there waz meaning and purpose behind it? doez something like that phyzikally hurt you? or hurt your brain? imagine how you're hurting mine). But, of course, once one gets over that initial reaction (which apparently seems to be really difficult for some), some interesting questions arise from reading it (and yet you fail to mention what thoze questionz may be), in other words, that reaction shows there's some significant energy in the writing (do you protest the war, or fight for human rights, or anything important, or do you just sit around bitching about someone'z spelling that's of no consequence to you in any way whatsoever?).
You say your work is poetik vizionary (no, i said i am a poetik vizionary. saying my work iz ' poetik vizionary' doezn't make any sense) - and in ways I see that some of your subject matter is (you have barely seen any of my subject matter), yet I do not see that the method or technique is (actually, if you knew anything about method or technique, you would see that my 'method and technique' are very 3volved. it's not just my spelling, it's my style of writing. it seemz to be eazy for you to post picturez, and consider them vizionary, but they're just phuking picturez. my poetry sayz alot more than most people'z picturez, and i'm damn proud of that fact). Many of the lines are pretty mild (you're judging me on one poem, by the way. i've written alot of shyt that iz far from 'mild'. and so what if they're mild? that haz nuthing to do with being a 'vizionary' or not. if you want to post something 'spicy', i've got plenty of that), especially if looked at without any of the juice (juice???) from the spelling. Some of the subject matter is inspriring indeed (so, inspiring iz your idea of vizionary?), yet it is articulated without much force (uh... excuze me? again, what doez this have to do with whether it's vizionary or not? if you want force, i can show you force), like a watered-down McKenna rant (what? do you even know who terrence mckenna iz? shouldn't you be talking about bill hicks, or george carlin, or denis leary? theze mutherphukerz know how to rant. i know how to rant. i've learned from the best. you, apparently, have not). The spelling seems to be done without honoring or awareness of the tradition of poetry (first of all, phuk tradition. secondly, you seem to have to think inside the box, and think like everyone else. 'tradition' of poetry? do everything like it's alwayz been done, and don't step outside the box? bullshyt). Of course spelling rules, like all rules, can ultimately be broken (dude, rulez are meant to be broken), but when done haphazardly (haphazardly? like i haven't given it any thought? there clearly iz a reazon for it, and i've given yearz of thought to it), and without mastery of the medium (mastery of the medium? you have to be a master before you can write great poetry? how clozedminded. most of the good shyt would never have been written or read if you had to master it first. and i don't believe in masterz. i am my own master), it reads at best unconcerned with the tradition (no famous artist or writer haz ever stuck to tradition. sure, they learn the correct method, techniques, and tradition, but then, what makes them great, or even different, iz their ability to expand and go way beyond what they have learned, and create their own technique), and at worst, infantile (infantile? well, now you're just being an asshole). The fact that reading your work has given me this much of a challenge (if it's such a challenge for you, then you're really not getting it, and you're really not 3volved, and you're really not a vizionary) says, at least to me, that it has real power (earlier you said it was pretty mild, then you said it had significant energy, waz inspiring, and didn't have much force. make up your phuking mind), and I won't forget it (finally, after all your whining and complaining, you say that my work haz real power, and will not be forgotten. what, then, iz your definition of a 'vizionary artist'???). But I don't think it really works in visionaryartists. Thank you (no, no, thank you, mr. holierthanthou), honestly, for the submission. namaste (i can't help but wonder about the 'namasté' in your signature. first of all, if you're smart enuph to know what that word meanz, then you should be smart enuph to phigure out how to put the accent above the 'e'. if not, then you shouldn't be uzing that word. and secondly, you are obviously not the peaceful, loving, accepting, 'all humankind iz 3qual' type of person, but, instead, you come off sounding like every average, boring college professor, who dronez along, day after day, year after year, saying 'you must do it right, it's how it's alwayz been done, and the only way it can be done, you have to do it this way, or you'll never get it right, thus you'll never be successful, blah, blah, blah'. everything in life, the cozmoz, the 3arth, energy, everything changez. it iz meant to change. 3volve, change, crumble away, erode, something new comez to replace it, and iz different, new, changed. we'd still be cavemen if it didn't. the grand canyon wouldn't exist if it didn't. the pyramidz wouldn't exist if it didn't. and all the great artists and writerz, throughout our known history, have known that, and worked with it, not against it. you act like you're the be all end all of poetry experts, and that you have the power to judge whether my poetry iz good enuph to post in your group, but you judge me on my spelling, and not my poetry. that iz infantile. if you're such an expert, why aren't you teaching a class, instead of running a group on da?). greg / ~turance (by the way, for the people reading this, this guy, 'turance', doezn't even have any poetry in hiz gallery. he'z not even a writer, of any kind. he'z twentyfour phuking yearz old, and livez in phuking new york. yeah. get a rope).
ok. let me explain my reazonz for my style of spelling, one more time, so that people can understand why i spell this way, since people are so shocked, and appalled by it, and conphuzed. and someone actually once told me that it 'hurt their brain'. yeah. well, i'm not suprized. 3volution hurts, especially for people who don't want to 3volve. so, hopefully, this will make my spelling eazier to swallow, even though, it's not that big of a pill.
the 'z': i uze the z when it's a z sound. it makes sense to me. spelling the word 'resistance' with two s'z and a c, doez not make sense. if it's an s sound, it should be spelled with an s, not a c or a z. but if i spelled it 'rezistanse', that would be an obvious misspelling, and wouldn't make sense, and people, at this point, i think, are too 'stuck in their wayz' to recognize the word without the c in it. but you can clearly recognize the word when it's spelled with a z, becauze it's a z sound. would you recognize the word if it were spelled 'resiztanse'? no. but 'rezistance' makes sense, and it's still recognizable. i'm slowly changing, and 3volving my spelling style, az i pheel that people are slowly coming into new wayz of understanding it.
when i read one of my poemz to a room full of people, i can ' pheel', or 'sense' how, or if they're understanding it. and that's when i'm reading it, that's without the spelling to 'conphuze' them. i can sense it. so, in the same way, i can sense how people are getting uzed to my style of spelling, and 'understanding' it. some people are too 'stuck in their wayz', and will never be able to '3volve' their ability to change and 3volve our language. but how do you think the english language waz created? it waz created slowly, by adapting wordz, and changing spellingz, and '3volving' whatever language, or languagez it came from. and the english language came from many different languagez. that meanz that a bunch of people, with knowledge about many different languagez, got together, and agreed that they wanted to create a new language. but you can't just make up wordz out of the blue, you need to take a word that already exists, and 3volve it. change it. recreate it, to where it makes sense to you.
i created the word ' pheel'. it meanz to abzorb thru all your sensez, not just five, far beyond five. the sense of love, the sense of humour, the sense of passion, and that's not even including all the myriad different sensez related to the Th3rd 3ye. and that's another spelling of mine. i spell '3ye' with a 3, becauze, in this day and age, if you actually read a book, you'll discover that we have three of them. do some research on the pineal gland.
it's time to 3volve our language, ladiez and gentlemen. but, since it's starting with one man, me, it's starting off slowly. i started spelling 'differently' in highskool. becauze certain spellingz appealed to me, and made sense to me. since then, i have adapted one thing after another into my style of spelling, becauze it made sense to me.
the ' ph': i spell ' phuk' the way i do, becauze a many yearz ago, when i waz young, when i started uzing the computer, the most popular way to get online in thoze dayz, waz aohell, and i, of course, discovered the chatroomz. i met two really phunny people back then, treez and hunny, and we started dominating thoze chatroomz, and uzing ' punterz' to ' punt' people offline. kick them out of the chatroomz, if you will. some punterz were more powerful, and we could actually make people'z computerz freeze, and they had to restart. it waz phun. the three of us had alot of phun, and molded our sensez of humour, and pissed alot of people off. it waz great. but after a while, some of the chatroomz, mainly nonaol chatroomz at first, started censoring people, and making it to where you couldn't type the word 'fuck', it would show up in the chatroom az 'f*ck'. that pissed me off. and i'm sure i'm not the only one it pissed off. no artist likes to be censored. and they call it 'strong language'. iz that becauze the rest of our language iz weak? i like 'strong language', and i uze it alot. i think it enhancez the language we uze, and gets our pheelingz across better. every language haz it's own 'dirty language', so we aren't the only onez who like to uze it. there are so many people all over the world, that have so many different wayz to say ' phuk off'. if you say 'oh, that sucks', well, you don't seem to be that angry. but if you say 'man, that really phuking sucks dick', i think people would get your pheelingz alot clearer. so, since thoze chatroomz phelt that they had the 'authority' to censor people, i discovered a way to 'slip thru the cracks'. i started spelling it ' phuk'. that way, it waz still a 'four letter word', and it still had the same meaning, and the same punch, but it also had a touch of originality. and, of course, it couldn't be censored in thoze chatroomz. it's my own (possibly ironik) way of saying ' phuk you' to censorship. and i'm proud of it. and i'm sure when other people catch on, they'll agree.
after i started that spelling, i had an epiphany. some wordz that have the f sound, are spelled with an f, and some are spelled with a ph. that doezn't make sense. i'm sure we would all understand some wordz alot better if they were spelled somewhat phonetikally. example: the th sound. it's a hard sound in the word 'think', and a soft sound in the word 'that'. the t iz the harder sound of the letter d. so the soft 'the' sound should be spelled 'dhe'. but, again, i don't think we're quite ready for that partikular change yet. but the ph iz acceptable for certain wordz, like ' phuk'. another example, the letter 'v'. it's sound iz related to the sound of the f, it's a 'soft' f sound. and the b iz the soft sound of the p. so the ph having the same sound az an f, shouldn't that mean that a 'bh' should have the same sound az a v? see where i'm going with this? we could get rid of some of the letterz in our alphabet, if we started spelling this way. there would be fewer misunderstandingz with the written word. when you're reading a sentence, and someone sayz 'i read books'. you can't phigure out (maybe till later) if they're saying 'i reed books', or 'i red books'. if we spelled wordz the way they should be spelled, we would understand certain thingz alot eazier.
the 'k': some of the same logik appliez here. i hate the letter c. we should not have a letter that soundz like an s sometimez, and a k the rest of the time, especially since the s and the k soundz are not similar at all. stephen colbert (pronounced 'colbare'... ever wonder why?) made a comment about this recently. so you can see, i'm not the only one who'z unhappy with the english language, or alphabet. iz anyone ever gonna read the word 'logik', and pronounce it 'logis'? i don't think so. i also hate the letter w. first of all, we couldn't come up with a better name for it than 'double u'? and secondly, since our handwriting stylez have 3volved, it's now more of a 'double v'. wouldn't you agree? but, the point iz, we already have a letter that makes the 'wa' sound, it's the u. so we don't need two letterz that have the same sound, and we don't need a letter that makes an s sound and a k sound, when we already have an s and a k. it doezn't make sense.
in patch adamz, the "insane" dr. in the mental home, who waz actually still very sane, or bordering between genius and insane, asked patch how many fingerz he saw, when he held up four fingerz. patch said 'four', and he sayz no, no, you're wrong. and then later in the movie, he said look past the four fingerz, and patch finally said eight. you have to look past my spelling, to see the real meaning of the poem. my spelling iz meant to enhance the meaning of certain wordz, and to make the reader take notice of thoze wordz.
and now for the grammar. first of all, i hate when people comment on my spelling, and they call it grammar. theze people are complaining about my spelling? are you shytting me? there'z a huge difference between spelling and grammar. grammar iz sentence structure. i don't say 'i chicken like soup', i'm not that dumb. but some of theze people are, if they don't know what grammar iz. i know how to form a phuking sentence. there are alot of people on da here that can't form a sentence, let alone spell one right, but they don't get thoze spelling comments, or even grammar comments. in fact, they get more pozitive comments than i do. i don't understand that.
i have also made some changez to certain wordz that i think should be put together. someone back in the day, decided to put the wordz 'can' and 'not' together. did someone else after that take that ability away from us? why can't we connect the wordz 'alot' and 'eachother'. we don't pronounce it 'each other' anymore, when we say it, it soundz like 'eachother'. we should be able to connect two commonly uzed wordz, especially when we say them together.
you may have also noticed by now, that i have changed the way i uze some punctuation. for example, when i put something in quotes, i think the quotes should be placed around the sentence, and not after the period or question mark. so, when i type it up, it looks like this: 'he took alot of acid'. or 'are you tripping'?. i also put a period after every sentence, even if it already haz a question mark. to me, it makes the sentence have a proper ending. i don't pheel like a question mark properly endz a sentence. but, that iz just my logik, and doezn't have to be understood by anyone.
people need to understand the differencez between spelling, grammar, and punctuation. especially before they criticize me on how i write. i am very literate, and very well educated, and i have read a shytload of other people'z poetry. i have read amateur poetry, mainly online, and i have read alot of poetry by allen ginzberg, jack kerouac, and other 'beat' poets, and have read tonz of lyriks by black sabbath, tool, machine head, pantera, devin townzend, incubus, life of agony, marilyn manson, metallika (sucks), ozzy, pink floyd (yes, i know about publius enigma), and even rage against the machine. i am very knowledgeable about many different kindz of poetry, and am quite insulted when people question my ability to write, or my knowledge of poetry, or my experience with the english language. if theze people knew half az much az i did, they would commend me on my writing style, instead of stumbling over my spelling. 'this bog iz thick, and eazy to get lost in, cauze you're a dumbass, belligerent phuker', - tool. 'language iz a process of free creation; its lawz and principlez are fixed, but the manner in which the principlez of generation are uzed iz free and infinitely varied. even the interpretation and use of wordz involvez a process of free creation' - noam chomsky. noam chomsky iz a linguistiks professor. so, for now, i'll end this by saying 'READ SOMETHING!!!'.
the newz: ok, so i finally got a response back from *visionaryartists, but he, just like everyone else, and just like every group or club i've tried to submit to, and just like every other website dedicated to poetry, refuzed to post my poem, 'all that could be', becauze of my spelling. phuking naziz. so, i'm posting this to try and make myself clear one more time.
this iz my note correspondence with 'vizionaryartists':
----------
InMyDisk3yez said the following:
first of all, i don't know if i have joined this club yet, but i have been watching for a while now, and would like to join.
secondly, i would like to submit a poem, if that's ok. (i don't know if i should've sent you two separate notes to join and submit, but you didn't specify that in your journal, so if i'm wrong, pleaze excuze my mistake).
i consider myself to be a poetik vizionary. i write about our future, our 3volution, and our consciousness. so, in (sort of a) response to your journal on 'art and the sacred', i would like to submit a poem of mine that i consider to be rather vizionary. but, the thing iz, i spell 'deviously'. my spelling haz meaning for me, it's creative. so i hope that doezn't hinder you from posting my poem. i would sure appreciate it. thank you. the poem i would like to submit iz called 'all that could be'. (the poem iz posted in the category: literature, poetry, tranzgressive, open).
here iz my artist comment that i would like to have posted with this poem: first of all, i'm an 3volutionist. i spell it with a '3', for the Th3rd 3ye, and becauze some people say that we are 3volving up to our Th3rd stage of 3volution, and growing two more chromosomez, to achieve 4orty6ix and 2. secondly, i spell deviously. it holdz creative meaning for me. i spell certain wordz certain wayz, so that people will pay attention to that word, or, in some casez, 'stumble' over it. and, in other wayz, for example, i spell some wordz uzing a 'z' if it haz a 'z' sound, or an 's' if it haz an 's' sound. for example, the word 'rezistance', or 'cats and dogz'. to me, it's logikal; it makes sense. so if you want to comment negatively about my spelling, pleaze, don't waste your time; i've heard it all.
this poem, 'all that could be', iz about our 3volution, and our way out of this politikally stagnant mess we're currently in. i have a theory, i call it my 'spring theory'. we are like a spring sitting upright on a table. if you push down on it, or 'suppress' it, it will rezist, and push back upwardz. eventually, it will win, and bounce out from under your hand. so, we are like a slinky going up stairz. in this case, religion and the government are the oppressorz, and people creating poetry and art like this, are the rezistance.
i consider this poem to be 'vizionary', becauze it spæks about our future, and our unity az a collective, in a way that we should all be conscious of. we are 3volving, and we eventually need to join in the collective consciousness, and 3volve together, so that we can ascend to the next level. in fact, this waz inspired by a vizion i had, about our future. sylvia browne said once that this world iz going to end in about ninetyfive yearz. although, many people believe that we're going to 3volve, or ascend, or that something magikal iz going to happen on december twentyfirst, twentytwelve. something iz obviously happening, and if you can't see it, then you need to 'squeegee' your Th3rd 3ye. the symbolizm in this poem comez from my dreamz, and my yearz of selfdiscovery and 3volution. it makes me pheel confident that we are all 3volving, and that, soon, we will all see where this iz going. thank you for reading.
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InMyDisk3yez said the following:
did you not want to post my poem?
----------
visionaryartists said the following:
(all my responsez to hiz comments are in parentheses, and all the links are my doing).
ImMyDisk3yez (you can't even spell my name right, and you're bitching about my spelling, just like every other group or website i've tried to post my poetry on. you're all the same, you're a bunch of hypocrites).
I apologize for taking unprofessionally, ridiculously long to respond (you have formed your first sentence wrong. you should have said ...'an unprofessional, ridiculously long time'...). To be honest, I've been considering your work for a while and have been on the fence about it. (being on the fence, or waffling, or flipflopping iz politikally incorrect now). Your spelling, at first read, which you've heard many times, (sooo, like, you need to repeat it) is at first obnoxious and even offensive to the reader (offensive? ignorance and an unwillingness to 3volve, and accept change iz offensive. offensive? really? my spelling iz offensive? are you shytting me? if change iz obnoxious and offensive, then i'm on the wrong planet. phuk, i'm even in the wrong universe, apparently. why did people freak out for so many yearz over e e cummingz uzing only lowercase letterz and no capitalz, especially when there waz meaning and purpose behind it? doez something like that phyzikally hurt you? or hurt your brain? imagine how you're hurting mine). But, of course, once one gets over that initial reaction (which apparently seems to be really difficult for some), some interesting questions arise from reading it (and yet you fail to mention what thoze questionz may be), in other words, that reaction shows there's some significant energy in the writing (do you protest the war, or fight for human rights, or anything important, or do you just sit around bitching about someone'z spelling that's of no consequence to you in any way whatsoever?).
You say your work is poetik vizionary (no, i said i am a poetik vizionary. saying my work iz ' poetik vizionary' doezn't make any sense) - and in ways I see that some of your subject matter is (you have barely seen any of my subject matter), yet I do not see that the method or technique is (actually, if you knew anything about method or technique, you would see that my 'method and technique' are very 3volved. it's not just my spelling, it's my style of writing. it seemz to be eazy for you to post picturez, and consider them vizionary, but they're just phuking picturez. my poetry sayz alot more than most people'z picturez, and i'm damn proud of that fact). Many of the lines are pretty mild (you're judging me on one poem, by the way. i've written alot of shyt that iz far from 'mild'. and so what if they're mild? that haz nuthing to do with being a 'vizionary' or not. if you want to post something 'spicy', i've got plenty of that), especially if looked at without any of the juice (juice???) from the spelling. Some of the subject matter is inspriring indeed (so, inspiring iz your idea of vizionary?), yet it is articulated without much force (uh... excuze me? again, what doez this have to do with whether it's vizionary or not? if you want force, i can show you force), like a watered-down McKenna rant (what? do you even know who terrence mckenna iz? shouldn't you be talking about bill hicks, or george carlin, or denis leary? theze mutherphukerz know how to rant. i know how to rant. i've learned from the best. you, apparently, have not). The spelling seems to be done without honoring or awareness of the tradition of poetry (first of all, phuk tradition. secondly, you seem to have to think inside the box, and think like everyone else. 'tradition' of poetry? do everything like it's alwayz been done, and don't step outside the box? bullshyt). Of course spelling rules, like all rules, can ultimately be broken (dude, rulez are meant to be broken), but when done haphazardly (haphazardly? like i haven't given it any thought? there clearly iz a reazon for it, and i've given yearz of thought to it), and without mastery of the medium (mastery of the medium? you have to be a master before you can write great poetry? how clozedminded. most of the good shyt would never have been written or read if you had to master it first. and i don't believe in masterz. i am my own master), it reads at best unconcerned with the tradition (no famous artist or writer haz ever stuck to tradition. sure, they learn the correct method, techniques, and tradition, but then, what makes them great, or even different, iz their ability to expand and go way beyond what they have learned, and create their own technique), and at worst, infantile (infantile? well, now you're just being an asshole). The fact that reading your work has given me this much of a challenge (if it's such a challenge for you, then you're really not getting it, and you're really not 3volved, and you're really not a vizionary) says, at least to me, that it has real power (earlier you said it was pretty mild, then you said it had significant energy, waz inspiring, and didn't have much force. make up your phuking mind), and I won't forget it (finally, after all your whining and complaining, you say that my work haz real power, and will not be forgotten. what, then, iz your definition of a 'vizionary artist'???). But I don't think it really works in visionaryartists. Thank you (no, no, thank you, mr. holierthanthou), honestly, for the submission. namaste (i can't help but wonder about the 'namasté' in your signature. first of all, if you're smart enuph to know what that word meanz, then you should be smart enuph to phigure out how to put the accent above the 'e'. if not, then you shouldn't be uzing that word. and secondly, you are obviously not the peaceful, loving, accepting, 'all humankind iz 3qual' type of person, but, instead, you come off sounding like every average, boring college professor, who dronez along, day after day, year after year, saying 'you must do it right, it's how it's alwayz been done, and the only way it can be done, you have to do it this way, or you'll never get it right, thus you'll never be successful, blah, blah, blah'. everything in life, the cozmoz, the 3arth, energy, everything changez. it iz meant to change. 3volve, change, crumble away, erode, something new comez to replace it, and iz different, new, changed. we'd still be cavemen if it didn't. the grand canyon wouldn't exist if it didn't. the pyramidz wouldn't exist if it didn't. and all the great artists and writerz, throughout our known history, have known that, and worked with it, not against it. you act like you're the be all end all of poetry experts, and that you have the power to judge whether my poetry iz good enuph to post in your group, but you judge me on my spelling, and not my poetry. that iz infantile. if you're such an expert, why aren't you teaching a class, instead of running a group on da?). greg / ~turance (by the way, for the people reading this, this guy, 'turance', doezn't even have any poetry in hiz gallery. he'z not even a writer, of any kind. he'z twentyfour phuking yearz old, and livez in phuking new york. yeah. get a rope).
ok. let me explain my reazonz for my style of spelling, one more time, so that people can understand why i spell this way, since people are so shocked, and appalled by it, and conphuzed. and someone actually once told me that it 'hurt their brain'. yeah. well, i'm not suprized. 3volution hurts, especially for people who don't want to 3volve. so, hopefully, this will make my spelling eazier to swallow, even though, it's not that big of a pill.
the 'z': i uze the z when it's a z sound. it makes sense to me. spelling the word 'resistance' with two s'z and a c, doez not make sense. if it's an s sound, it should be spelled with an s, not a c or a z. but if i spelled it 'rezistanse', that would be an obvious misspelling, and wouldn't make sense, and people, at this point, i think, are too 'stuck in their wayz' to recognize the word without the c in it. but you can clearly recognize the word when it's spelled with a z, becauze it's a z sound. would you recognize the word if it were spelled 'resiztanse'? no. but 'rezistance' makes sense, and it's still recognizable. i'm slowly changing, and 3volving my spelling style, az i pheel that people are slowly coming into new wayz of understanding it.
when i read one of my poemz to a room full of people, i can ' pheel', or 'sense' how, or if they're understanding it. and that's when i'm reading it, that's without the spelling to 'conphuze' them. i can sense it. so, in the same way, i can sense how people are getting uzed to my style of spelling, and 'understanding' it. some people are too 'stuck in their wayz', and will never be able to '3volve' their ability to change and 3volve our language. but how do you think the english language waz created? it waz created slowly, by adapting wordz, and changing spellingz, and '3volving' whatever language, or languagez it came from. and the english language came from many different languagez. that meanz that a bunch of people, with knowledge about many different languagez, got together, and agreed that they wanted to create a new language. but you can't just make up wordz out of the blue, you need to take a word that already exists, and 3volve it. change it. recreate it, to where it makes sense to you.
i created the word ' pheel'. it meanz to abzorb thru all your sensez, not just five, far beyond five. the sense of love, the sense of humour, the sense of passion, and that's not even including all the myriad different sensez related to the Th3rd 3ye. and that's another spelling of mine. i spell '3ye' with a 3, becauze, in this day and age, if you actually read a book, you'll discover that we have three of them. do some research on the pineal gland.
it's time to 3volve our language, ladiez and gentlemen. but, since it's starting with one man, me, it's starting off slowly. i started spelling 'differently' in highskool. becauze certain spellingz appealed to me, and made sense to me. since then, i have adapted one thing after another into my style of spelling, becauze it made sense to me.
the ' ph': i spell ' phuk' the way i do, becauze a many yearz ago, when i waz young, when i started uzing the computer, the most popular way to get online in thoze dayz, waz aohell, and i, of course, discovered the chatroomz. i met two really phunny people back then, treez and hunny, and we started dominating thoze chatroomz, and uzing ' punterz' to ' punt' people offline. kick them out of the chatroomz, if you will. some punterz were more powerful, and we could actually make people'z computerz freeze, and they had to restart. it waz phun. the three of us had alot of phun, and molded our sensez of humour, and pissed alot of people off. it waz great. but after a while, some of the chatroomz, mainly nonaol chatroomz at first, started censoring people, and making it to where you couldn't type the word 'fuck', it would show up in the chatroom az 'f*ck'. that pissed me off. and i'm sure i'm not the only one it pissed off. no artist likes to be censored. and they call it 'strong language'. iz that becauze the rest of our language iz weak? i like 'strong language', and i uze it alot. i think it enhancez the language we uze, and gets our pheelingz across better. every language haz it's own 'dirty language', so we aren't the only onez who like to uze it. there are so many people all over the world, that have so many different wayz to say ' phuk off'. if you say 'oh, that sucks', well, you don't seem to be that angry. but if you say 'man, that really phuking sucks dick', i think people would get your pheelingz alot clearer. so, since thoze chatroomz phelt that they had the 'authority' to censor people, i discovered a way to 'slip thru the cracks'. i started spelling it ' phuk'. that way, it waz still a 'four letter word', and it still had the same meaning, and the same punch, but it also had a touch of originality. and, of course, it couldn't be censored in thoze chatroomz. it's my own (possibly ironik) way of saying ' phuk you' to censorship. and i'm proud of it. and i'm sure when other people catch on, they'll agree.
after i started that spelling, i had an epiphany. some wordz that have the f sound, are spelled with an f, and some are spelled with a ph. that doezn't make sense. i'm sure we would all understand some wordz alot better if they were spelled somewhat phonetikally. example: the th sound. it's a hard sound in the word 'think', and a soft sound in the word 'that'. the t iz the harder sound of the letter d. so the soft 'the' sound should be spelled 'dhe'. but, again, i don't think we're quite ready for that partikular change yet. but the ph iz acceptable for certain wordz, like ' phuk'. another example, the letter 'v'. it's sound iz related to the sound of the f, it's a 'soft' f sound. and the b iz the soft sound of the p. so the ph having the same sound az an f, shouldn't that mean that a 'bh' should have the same sound az a v? see where i'm going with this? we could get rid of some of the letterz in our alphabet, if we started spelling this way. there would be fewer misunderstandingz with the written word. when you're reading a sentence, and someone sayz 'i read books'. you can't phigure out (maybe till later) if they're saying 'i reed books', or 'i red books'. if we spelled wordz the way they should be spelled, we would understand certain thingz alot eazier.
the 'k': some of the same logik appliez here. i hate the letter c. we should not have a letter that soundz like an s sometimez, and a k the rest of the time, especially since the s and the k soundz are not similar at all. stephen colbert (pronounced 'colbare'... ever wonder why?) made a comment about this recently. so you can see, i'm not the only one who'z unhappy with the english language, or alphabet. iz anyone ever gonna read the word 'logik', and pronounce it 'logis'? i don't think so. i also hate the letter w. first of all, we couldn't come up with a better name for it than 'double u'? and secondly, since our handwriting stylez have 3volved, it's now more of a 'double v'. wouldn't you agree? but, the point iz, we already have a letter that makes the 'wa' sound, it's the u. so we don't need two letterz that have the same sound, and we don't need a letter that makes an s sound and a k sound, when we already have an s and a k. it doezn't make sense.
in patch adamz, the "insane" dr. in the mental home, who waz actually still very sane, or bordering between genius and insane, asked patch how many fingerz he saw, when he held up four fingerz. patch said 'four', and he sayz no, no, you're wrong. and then later in the movie, he said look past the four fingerz, and patch finally said eight. you have to look past my spelling, to see the real meaning of the poem. my spelling iz meant to enhance the meaning of certain wordz, and to make the reader take notice of thoze wordz.
and now for the grammar. first of all, i hate when people comment on my spelling, and they call it grammar. theze people are complaining about my spelling? are you shytting me? there'z a huge difference between spelling and grammar. grammar iz sentence structure. i don't say 'i chicken like soup', i'm not that dumb. but some of theze people are, if they don't know what grammar iz. i know how to form a phuking sentence. there are alot of people on da here that can't form a sentence, let alone spell one right, but they don't get thoze spelling comments, or even grammar comments. in fact, they get more pozitive comments than i do. i don't understand that.
i have also made some changez to certain wordz that i think should be put together. someone back in the day, decided to put the wordz 'can' and 'not' together. did someone else after that take that ability away from us? why can't we connect the wordz 'alot' and 'eachother'. we don't pronounce it 'each other' anymore, when we say it, it soundz like 'eachother'. we should be able to connect two commonly uzed wordz, especially when we say them together.
you may have also noticed by now, that i have changed the way i uze some punctuation. for example, when i put something in quotes, i think the quotes should be placed around the sentence, and not after the period or question mark. so, when i type it up, it looks like this: 'he took alot of acid'. or 'are you tripping'?. i also put a period after every sentence, even if it already haz a question mark. to me, it makes the sentence have a proper ending. i don't pheel like a question mark properly endz a sentence. but, that iz just my logik, and doezn't have to be understood by anyone.
people need to understand the differencez between spelling, grammar, and punctuation. especially before they criticize me on how i write. i am very literate, and very well educated, and i have read a shytload of other people'z poetry. i have read amateur poetry, mainly online, and i have read alot of poetry by allen ginzberg, jack kerouac, and other 'beat' poets, and have read tonz of lyriks by black sabbath, tool, machine head, pantera, devin townzend, incubus, life of agony, marilyn manson, metallika (sucks), ozzy, pink floyd (yes, i know about publius enigma), and even rage against the machine. i am very knowledgeable about many different kindz of poetry, and am quite insulted when people question my ability to write, or my knowledge of poetry, or my experience with the english language. if theze people knew half az much az i did, they would commend me on my writing style, instead of stumbling over my spelling. 'this bog iz thick, and eazy to get lost in, cauze you're a dumbass, belligerent phuker', - tool. 'language iz a process of free creation; its lawz and principlez are fixed, but the manner in which the principlez of generation are uzed iz free and infinitely varied. even the interpretation and use of wordz involvez a process of free creation' - noam chomsky. noam chomsky iz a linguistiks professor. so, for now, i'll end this by saying 'READ SOMETHING!!!'.
Monday, April 06, 2009
dreamer
there'z something inside me
that doezn't mix with what's outside me
and my skin iz all that's there to protect me
there'z so much bullshyt in this world
so many people trying to phuk with you
lying to you, stealing from you
trying to phuk your life up
to make themselvez pheel better
to make their livez look better
when they're nuthing but scum
lowlife, crackhead piecez of shyt
but it just goez to phigure
they're too dumb to kill themselvez
they don't realize that it would improve this world
that it would improve our livez, if they were gone
either they kill themselvez, and better this world
or i kill myself, and this world gets worse
but i'm in a better place, and i pheel better
would it even matter?
they live to make this world worse
they strive to make us mizerable
just like the government, and religionz
everyone out there, iz out to phuk you over
they're all out for themselvez
i actually had someone tell me that once
that they were just out for themselvez
they didn't give a phuk about anyone else
i can see myself starting to get like that
like it's starting to rub off on me
i may be antisocial az all hell
but i still care about this world
maybe not the people in it
but i do care about something
i don't even know anymore what it iz
i'm writing to people that don't seem to exist
or maybe there'z a thick wall between us
i can't phigure out what it iz
but i only seem to be surrounded by crackheadz
and no matter how hard i try to get out of here
i'm still stuck here in this same shythole place
with theze same stupid lozer asshole people
maybe they are the wall keeping me here
the wall i cannot seem to break through
i know i have the strength to do it
so what's stopping me? i can't phigure it out
i can see the future, where i want to end up
but i can't see the road between here and there
iz there something wrong with me?
am i not good enuph to get there?
haz my life been tainted by this shythole?
i've seen other people make it out of their hell
but something tellz me thoze people are fake
put there just to fool me into thinking i can get there
but in reality, it's phuking impossible
people say that all the time, 'in reality'
what the phuk doez that mean?
that we aren't in some 'reality'?
iz that what the problem iz?
or when they're talking about superstarz
and then they say 'real people', refering to us
doez that prove my theory?
that theze people are all fake?
put there just to mislead me?
doez that mean this whole world iz fake?
that theze people are just figments of my imagination?
like they seem to be in my dreamz?
doez that mean i'm skizophrenik or something?
or doez it mean that someone put them here?
and who the phuk would that be?
it couldn't be a 'god', cauze i can't imagine
a 'god' having that bad of a sense of humour
am i suppozed to learn a lesson from this?
am i being fooled? or punk'd? where'z ashton?
i need to shoot that syck, stoopid mutherphuker
(one shot and the world gets smaller)
i don't know, i just don't get it, i don't understand
this world needz a safe exit, a safe passage
a healthy way to escape this bullshyt
who knowz, maybe i'll wake up tomorrow
and find myself laying in a nice big bed
somewhere in fiji, looking at the ocean out the window
maybe someone squeegeeing the window
for a small dose of irony, or for some syck joke
maybe there will be three naked women in my bed
yeah, that's right, you piece of shyt, i'm a dreamer
i said it, i'm a phuking dreamer... but i'm not the only one
that doezn't mix with what's outside me
and my skin iz all that's there to protect me
there'z so much bullshyt in this world
so many people trying to phuk with you
lying to you, stealing from you
trying to phuk your life up
to make themselvez pheel better
to make their livez look better
when they're nuthing but scum
lowlife, crackhead piecez of shyt
but it just goez to phigure
they're too dumb to kill themselvez
they don't realize that it would improve this world
that it would improve our livez, if they were gone
either they kill themselvez, and better this world
or i kill myself, and this world gets worse
but i'm in a better place, and i pheel better
would it even matter?
they live to make this world worse
they strive to make us mizerable
just like the government, and religionz
everyone out there, iz out to phuk you over
they're all out for themselvez
i actually had someone tell me that once
that they were just out for themselvez
they didn't give a phuk about anyone else
i can see myself starting to get like that
like it's starting to rub off on me
i may be antisocial az all hell
but i still care about this world
maybe not the people in it
but i do care about something
i don't even know anymore what it iz
i'm writing to people that don't seem to exist
or maybe there'z a thick wall between us
i can't phigure out what it iz
but i only seem to be surrounded by crackheadz
and no matter how hard i try to get out of here
i'm still stuck here in this same shythole place
with theze same stupid lozer asshole people
maybe they are the wall keeping me here
the wall i cannot seem to break through
i know i have the strength to do it
so what's stopping me? i can't phigure it out
i can see the future, where i want to end up
but i can't see the road between here and there
iz there something wrong with me?
am i not good enuph to get there?
haz my life been tainted by this shythole?
i've seen other people make it out of their hell
but something tellz me thoze people are fake
put there just to fool me into thinking i can get there
but in reality, it's phuking impossible
people say that all the time, 'in reality'
what the phuk doez that mean?
that we aren't in some 'reality'?
iz that what the problem iz?
or when they're talking about superstarz
and then they say 'real people', refering to us
doez that prove my theory?
that theze people are all fake?
put there just to mislead me?
doez that mean this whole world iz fake?
that theze people are just figments of my imagination?
like they seem to be in my dreamz?
doez that mean i'm skizophrenik or something?
or doez it mean that someone put them here?
and who the phuk would that be?
it couldn't be a 'god', cauze i can't imagine
a 'god' having that bad of a sense of humour
am i suppozed to learn a lesson from this?
am i being fooled? or punk'd? where'z ashton?
i need to shoot that syck, stoopid mutherphuker
(one shot and the world gets smaller)
i don't know, i just don't get it, i don't understand
this world needz a safe exit, a safe passage
a healthy way to escape this bullshyt
who knowz, maybe i'll wake up tomorrow
and find myself laying in a nice big bed
somewhere in fiji, looking at the ocean out the window
maybe someone squeegeeing the window
for a small dose of irony, or for some syck joke
maybe there will be three naked women in my bed
yeah, that's right, you piece of shyt, i'm a dreamer
i said it, i'm a phuking dreamer... but i'm not the only one
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