critiks can suck a goat

i just read a little excerpt from the wikipedia page on marilyn manson'z 'mechanikal animalz' album, which happenz to be my favourite album. but i didn't read the whole page, i don't have that kind of time, there'z too many people to bitch at in this stupid world. but i just happened to read this little bit, and it made me want to vomit cockroach turdz out of my 3yeballz. get a load of this cracknugget, he must be so proud of himself, pompous little prick.

Not everyone gave the album a glowing review (yeah, only snobbitch cockgullets like this would have to add their two negative cents, cauze that's all their verbal pigtrash iz worth). Music critic Robert Christgau commented, "If only the absurd aura of artistic respectability surrounding this arrant self-promoter would teach us that not every icon deserves a think piece (yeah, tell me, do you even know what a 'think piece' iz, you selfworshipping goatnugget?), that it's no big deal to have a higher IQ than Ozzy Osbourne (now that's just a repulsive statement for any metalhead. there'z not one metalhead out there who doezn't like ozzy, dickwrench. if you're dumb enuph to make that comparison, then ozzy iz a phuk of alot smarter than you), that the Road of Excess leads to the Palace Theater [...] Its strategy is to camouflage the feebleness of La Manson's (ooh, sounding a little fancy for your silkladen asspillow with the fluffy buttplug, don't you think) vocal affect by pretending it's deliberate (soundz like you're pretending you know what the phuk you're talking about, when you have no phuking clue. get the phuk over yourself already, asspuppet. you should learn to question your obligatorial dysphunkshun) —one more depersonalizing production device with which to flatten willing cerebella (need to take a nap?) whilst confronting humankind's alienation, amorality, and failure to have a good time on Saturday night." (i think you might have forgotten what you're talking about there... or did you forget what speciez you're part of, monkeyphonix).

what an asshole... if you're going to critique metal, make sure you phuking like it first, douchecrozby! by the way, this idiot's an old fart. what the phuk iz he doing listening to marilyn phuking manson?!?!?! of course he wouldn't have anything enlightening to say about it, the word 'enlightening' waz birthed six hundred yearz after he had hiz first aneuryzm! someone once said, 'you don't know which end of your body you want to babble out of first'.

mom commented: yeah, and he is so snobby, i don't even understand what his complaint is. way too snooty to possibly understand anything about manson.

so, i of course had two cents to offer this illiterate brainbum, and of course, some mindtrash to litter hiz cardboard mindbox on hiz part of the street. this iz essentially for all the socalled 'critiks' out there. eat this, you birdturdz.

that dickhead scuntwrangler actually thinks that if he uzez big wordz, and soundz intellectual by putting good wordz together, that we'll listen to him, and agree with what he sayz... what a douchebag... he probly had to open a dictionary to write that crap. i can do that too, asshole, i can uze big wordz and sound smart, too... how about this... shove an octopus up your ass, so it can make excellent use of its inkly tentiklez to poizon your feeble verbikular receptikle till you bleed out every orifice, obzerving az you loze your last inch of intestinal disgustitude, and then you're forced to murder yourself with the nearest jellyfish tentikular protruzion, just to make sure you go to the infernal eternal abyss of phirey damnation that iz the tiny mental headspace you think in, every second of your pathetik little medullaoblongataless life, you scumphuk little braindink, with a pencil in each 3yehole, and a pen in your pineal gland of occipital orbital stupiditude, so az to make absolute sure you can't see past your own asshole mudfest of meaningless existence, and the only wingz you'll ever evolve toward acquiring are the wingz on your minipad, you cuntscope of lustial beastial servitude. how'z that, you little prick, iz that a good enuph 'critique' for you, you dumb phuk. critiks have no talent to make art themselvez, so they have to trash everyone else'z art with their snootycooter opinionz that don't matter for shyt. opinionz are like assholez, everyone'z got one, and i've got one for you, here, sniff this, assmonger. i just wiped my buttwhistle with your 'opinion'. there, there'z your phuking critique, that's what i think of you and your brainpuke bullshyt, go phuk yourself. phuking pigeonraping clownmolester. go crying to your mother now, and get some milky nipple to satisfy your starving trashtummy, you phuking distipitous, dikshunaryless wordbaby. you just got nounphuked by the wizard of wordz, you twatwaffle. in the wordz of my retarded grandmother who'z smarter than you, 'don't let it give you nightmarez'. drown in your own pitypiss. the world could uze less of you. eat my asspancakes, you selfish pusspie. you just got taken down by the mutherphuking word magician, i bet your biscuits are burnin' now, you little scruntphuk, how doez that pheel. i just can't stop myself, i wonder why. i can puke nonsense, too, you talentless sheepclone. wash your Th3rd 3ye with your grandpappy'z douchebottle, and shove your typewriter up your scrotalvag asstrumpet, and then sit in the corner and deepthroat my wizdomrectum till you get a clue, brainstein. phuk off and die.

and that's just my most recent attack on critiks. i wrote a few otherz many yearz ago, but thanks to a scumcrumbly whore, they seem to be missing at the moment. if i find them, or retrieve them from the alien æther sometime soon, you'll be the first to acquire thoze bullets. and again, this dumbcelebrater iz an old fart. i'm only thirtytwo, and i just tore him a new one. we should appreciate our children more.

before we go, let's take a short look at this worthless scumbastard... Robert Christgau (born April 18, 1942) is an American essayist, music journalist, and self-proclaimed "Dean of American Rock Critics". they say 'selfproclaimed' for a reazon, asspatty. let's take a minute and toss elephant shyt at this moron, and try to push our envelope a little.