some thoughts in the cold

part of the show:  i'm a libra of cartoonishly galactic proportions. but at least i'm not walking around on the streets going 'got any shards, man?'. what the fuck is that. could anyone tell me. i really don't understand that. got any shards? i'm an underdeveloped fetus, but i'm trying to do my impersonation of michael jackson in thriller. but i need more shards so i can do it better.

oh, i get it. i'm an evolutionist, you must be the missing link. well, nice to meet you, glad to see where i came from. well, mama always used to say, you can either be the missing link, or the weakest link. it's up to you, i guess.

i'm lookin' for some shards.

do you know what's in shards?

uh huh. i memorized the wikipedia page.

do you smoke pot?

no, it makes me feel stupid.

would it scare you if i told you that was a true story? that little thumbless methroach missing link monkeyturd is walking our streets, and you fuckers aren't as disgusted as i am? (i'll grow this hydroponically later).

...
a vision i had: some guy is trying to count some big number on his fingers, and doesn't realize his third eye sees another way. so he holds up his hands, and just starts sprouting fingers and thumbs all over his body. people look at him, 'what are you, a fuckin' mutant?'. 'hoho, i didn't know i could do that'. he's got thumbs going up to his crown chakra. he tries it again, and this time it opens the top of his head, and this big bright beaming light turns on from his head, and lights up the universe. we can see galaxies in high definition daylight. and we see god sitting up there in the sky. big fat naked dude jerkin' off and looking at santa clause porn. trail of butter, beer, batter, and shrimp down his chest. he's sitting on a toilet just above tucson, arizona. and every christian in this country who carries a gun, pulls it out, and starts shooting at him.

cause we all know, that's where god takes a shit. tucson, arizona. one of these days, you just know, satan's gonna pop his big evil head out of that dirt, and say 'hey, stop shitting on me!'.

...
ideas for books: go ahead and publish everything i have up till now as the first book, and call it 'fragments of another lost past life'. then, immediately release the second book, and call it, 'the story of how i lost it all'. and then release the third book, and call it 'beginnings of the right life'. and have it lead into 'the eyes of evolution', which explains... the whole fuckin' thing.