still thinking alone

since i'm locked out of my facebook, i need to just keep writing. i need to get all my thoughts out. i walked the mile from mcdonald's to the library, asked every pothead looking creature along the way if they could spare some weed. i'm still sober. i fucking hate you people. the people at the free dinner at sycamore and romaine refuse to help me, i keep asking and begging. i don't know where to go to find friendly people. i've tried searching facebook for los angeles potheads, metalheads. what the fuck else am i supposed to do.

i don't want to make friends with people who play videogames.
i don't want to be friends with people who like anime.
i don't want people who do drugs to be my friends.
i don't want to be friends with people who like rap or popular music.
i don't want my friends to push their music choices onto me.
i want friends who are kind enough to keep me stoned when i need it.
i want friends who appreciate my taste in music.
i want friends who don't try to change me, or tell me what's wrong with me.
where are these people.

i want high tech metalhead geek friends who smoke a ton of weed.
i know there are alot of you who exist, where do i find you.

i know among you, there are at least a few who don't like videogames.
there is at least one of you who does not have a job, nor do you want one.
hello, i'm your next good friend, would you like to hang out and get stoned.
we could talk about how much we mutually hate clones and credit cards.

i can't use facebook anymore because they want me to verify my name.
am i the only one who thinks they don't deserve to know that information.
i fucking hate you all so much.
clones, easily led robots who will gladly do whatever they're told without questioning.
i fucking hate you. you make it horrible for the rest of us.

where are those who are dangling off the bottom of the pyramid.
i cannot see you with all the concrete in the way.
could you step out from behind wherever you're hiding, and let me see you.
better yet, could you find me on the street, and say hey, let's get stoned.

i know some of you have to deal with this stress, too.
i think it would be easier to deal with it together.

but i'm the only one who thinks that. no one else has the balls to tell me i'm wrong and prove it.

i fucking hate you.

this system was designed specifically to make life miserable for those who do not wish to participate, which is not only a monopoly, but it's a... i forgot the word.

i can't think anymore. my thoughts have been taken from me so many times. my tongue has been severed, truncated. i am so sick of this shit, and trying to beat my head through it.

i just want to die right now.
i want this life to end.
i want this life to be over.
i want this pain gone.
i no longer want to see any of you.
my heart has been too slaughtered.
there's not much left.
with the last of my life, i'd really like to live in comfort, but that's never going to happen.
i can't even achieve a minimal level of comfort, everything keeps knocking me down.

i fucking hate you.

i want to be free of your dollar hell.

i wrote a poem once. no one cared. and it's gone now.

but it was called 'god's gravity'.

and it told the story of living in poverty, and ended with the lines...

the only solution i can see from my hell,
is for your expensive heaven to fall.

no one cared. no one even ever heard it. no one gave a shit.

i've tried to seek out those songs with the powerful human lyrics. no one else does.

i fucking hate you.

i have to think. what can i do without facebook. that idea wasn't working anyway, it's better off dead. what do i do, how do i find people. there are other social networks.

google maps.
instagram.
meetup.com
bandmix.com
and what was i thinking of the other day.

homeless shit. phone calls. research. addresses, mapping, walking.

what else can i do, where can i post my writings to actually get a response of any kind.

is there a nonapathy.org.

this is so fucking miserable, and makes it worse being alone in this.

every single one of the rest of you are going to keep chasing those dollars till i make them fall alone, aren't you. you're going to ignore me up till the last possible moment.

and you wonder why i fucking hate you. i fucking hate you.

i wonder what people are thinking... you know, you have jobs, you have a boss telling you what to do, and you do it, for money. then we hear that humanity is about to be enslaved.

i've got one serious question. how much more of a slave do you think you have to become, in order to use that word more often.

does it not occur to you, you're already slaves. how much more control do you have to have taken away from you, to realize you're a slave. chains, smelly clothing, and lack of diet?

you're already a slave. admit it to yourself, and you'll feel better.

i fucking hate you. like little silly putty creatures easily stuffable into any mold. any little plastic box, cookie cutter, or crevice.

how do i find those who are not slaves. metalheads, potheads, hippies, geeks.

how do i find you. where are you. on the internet? anywhere besides facebook?

cause i know you're not there. you're too scared to use a social networking site.

you don't even know the reason for that. like wearing a foil hat as a fashion statement.

come on, think. where do i find the bigger minds, if they aren't on facebook.

mensa, bigthink, youtube, fuck it, we'll try youtube next.

i can't even download my naked news videos, the wifi is too slow, it keeps cutting off the files.

i can't download torrents, i can't use pidgin or iconpackager anymore, they're still taking my desktop away from me, after all these years, of what i've been able to keep. i'm just not allowed to be unique online. they force your identity out of you, and you don't realize why.

they don't deserve to know who you are. they certainly can't tell you who you are.

and they cannot take your intellectual property away from you just because you can't verify to them who you are. that is not their right, but they do it because you don't fight back.

you don't say a fuckin' thing.

slaves. clones. all of you.