blank and empty

i fucking hate so much.
i hate everything so fucking much.
i fucking hate so much.
i feel so sick.
i fucking hate everything.
i hate this fucking life.
i hate this fucking world.
i hate.

i have to get this cancerous chunk of hatred out of me.
every set of words out of my mouth sounds retarded to me.
i have to apologize for everything, i ruin everything.
i feel like i can't open my mouth without being just as dumb as you.
what's the point in talking.

what's the point to any of this stupid shit.
why can't i just slit my fucking wrists and be done with it.
i hate everything.
i can't stand anything.
this pain in my stomach.
all the drugs you smoke.
how much they disgust me.

you.

you disgust me.
your world sickens me.
your humans repulse me.
your authorities hate me.

and you can't afford to know how much i hate you.

i fucking detest you. i can't think of a word hateful enough for you.

i've been saying this shit for too many fucking years.

i feel so fucking sick.
you make me so fucking sick.
yet you cannot be blamed.
you cannot be held accountable.
you preach responsibility, yet have no clue what it is.
your product is hostility.

i can't get this shit out of my brain.

that violent physical force if we don't do what you say.

god, i hate.
i am so filled with hate.
hatred.

the most unheard voice in a world of hatred.
hypocrisy. lies. self delusion, denial, i could go on all fucking day.
you disgust me.
you fucking disgust me.
when can you afford to realize that.
what pieces of shit you all are.
you refuse to see it.
no one can convince you.
your mind is closed off.
you cannot be blamed.
you make me hateful.

i can't speak.
i can't think.
i'm disgusted with myself.
ashamed to be here.
i would give anything to get away from you.
your drugs.
your trash.
your lies.
your badge.
your plastic people.
your starbucks products.
i can't tell you how sick you make me.
i have no god to pray to.
because i'm not a child.

which tells me i'm the only true adult on this fucking planet.
if you're so smart, and want to prove me wrong, fucking say something.
don't just sit in your comfortable house bitching.
grow some fucking balls, you fucking pathetic puss.
get off your fucking ass...

i shouldn't have to tell you what to do.
i shouldn't have to explain to you, how to act like an adult.

your standards are humiliating.
and you want aliens to come visit you.

god, how stupid can you be.
you make me fucking sick.

what if someone told hollywood,
you can't make another movie,
till you erase drugs from your streets.
spend every movie dollar on it.
whatever movie you were about to make.
fuck it, we can sacrifice another nicolas cage movie.
i'd rather enjoy the next avengers movie.

as long as humans exist on this planet...
there will always be someone to shoot.

iq standards are not in your standards.
and you're not ashamed of that.
you see nothing wrong with that.

i fucking hate you.
you're just as plastic as your fucking latté order.
you're just as plastic as your credit card.

i've still got no one i can let this shit out to.
no one who can hug me and say 'forget about it'.

you look like puke.
toxic vomit.
garbage pale kids cards.

i feel so sick.
i feel so ugly.
i feel so stupid.
i feel so ashamed.
i feel so invisible.
i feel so unheard.

silent.
sick.
hateful.
no one to tell.
no one to tell.
ever.

i should have put a bullet through my brain when i was twenty three.
i'd have less to worry about, less to hate, than elliot rodger.

you've forgotten too many voices.
that karma's got an ugly face.
your mirror looking back at you.

i'm sick of your words.
i'm sick of your ears.

plastic hearts that may or may not exist in these mannequins.

where is a truth.
where is something sacred.
where is a standard.
where is a choice.

dear god, please.
i'm not having fun in your delusion.
please get me out of here.
this is going to end as horribly as possible.

evil, toxic negativity, pouring out of this heart like a leaking faucet.

it's not sad to you.
there's no fix.
there's no god.
there's no answer.
and you think you have a reason to be in charge.

no man should rule another man.
if that man has no answers, he's last in line.
if that man's selling lies, he dies.

when there are no thrones...
we can all live like kings...

that's the only thing i'll ever believe in.

a lack of a reason for you.

only stupid people think anarchy is chaos.
that needs to be etched in fuckin' stone.
only morons think knowledge is evil.

anarchy is not chaos.
anarchy means 'we don't need you'.
it's up to you to accept that.
it's up to you to shoot yourself like a good mistake.

i fucking hate you.
i loathe you.
i detest you.
i despise you.

i pray to the future...
the sunrise i bring...
deletes you.

washes you into the earth like the delusion you are.
liquifies your concrete back into the earth like the delusion it truly is.

you're not just delusional.
you are a delusion.

my mental hell i must suffer to see an irrelevant answer.
a meaningless point to be made, just to move on.

i can't speak anymore.
i cannot force these words out.
i haven't found a tire iron i could pry you open with yet.

i hate.
i hate.
i hate.

i cringe with hatred.
my skin shudders as the layers peel.
like ripping my spinal cord through dimensions.
shedding skin off the back of my head.
to rid the disease.

i couldn't drown in darkness to escape you.
i couldn't suffocate in tears of suicide.

my eyes close.
my mind dulls.
everything feels numb and fuzzy.
this neck won't pop, this stomach pain.
this is a hell created by a stupid human you.
given all sorts of superstitious words.
beliefs.
reinforced by excuses, fears, paranoia.
etched into those fears through conditioning and tradition.

you're sick.
someone needs to force that into your sick brain.
you're sick.
you need to go.
you're not wanted here.
the future does not want you.
the earth does not want you.
our mind does not want your lies.
stop forcing yourself into our books.
you think you're that vital.
you think you're needed.

and let no one tell you otherwise.

you fucking earless loser.
you hearing impaired freak of nature.
you dumb fuck.
what the fuck is wrong with you.

throw your badge into a volcano, and then dive in after it.
please, you'd be doing us all a favour.
there are seven billion people on this planet.
you suppress and harass a seventh of them.
and no one sees why.
no one sees anything wrong with that.
no one cares.

such perfect little slaves you've raised.

the other day, the seven eleven security guard is harassing me again.
i hold my middle finger up and wave it at him, since he can't shut his mouth.
in a way of saying more like 'bring it on, you dumb fuck'.
he actually walks over, and says 'you called me over here'.

first thing i should have said...
wow, okay, you always come when you're fingered?
middle finger, too, boy, you'd make an excellent slave.
except that you don't have ears.

second thing i should have said...
are you just finding an excuse to get close to me?
you can't stop harassing me?
why do people get closer to that which they hate?
are you really that stupid?

he wouldn't have listened to any of that.
but that's okay, that's his job.

remove your ears and heart, replace them with a badge and a gun...
good slave.
now go do what your boss tells you.
go shoot whoever your boss paid you to shoot.
go destroy something, cause that's what it says on your squad car.

you fucking hypocrite.

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

i can't wait for the day...

god, get your putrid badge the fuck out of my face.
can't you understand yet, you're just doing more evil than good.
if that's your intention, than you'll refuse to respond.
i'll bet you a billion dollars, i'll never hear that answer.
and you'll never pay up.

back in my day, that's what we call a yellowbelly pussy.
a fuckin' fascist liar.
a scruntroach fuckin' turd.

you, you fucking delusional piece of shit.
wallowing in your denial and excuses.

stop making poor people hate you.
no one will ever see the reasons.
the excuse behind the word 'peasants'.
the psychology behind the word 'undesirables'.

why can't i just disappear.
fuck this place.
leave these idiots to their own demise.
you fucking make me sick.
you make me so fucking sick.
this cancerous ball of hatred.
it's your creation.
and i can't get it out of me.

oh, but please, don't blame yourself.
i wouldn't want to see you cry.