(they might not be armed).
yeah, but thanks for advertising that to your fellow guntoting maniacs. as if some of you are good, and others aren't. i needed a good laff. if all guns were banned, i wouldn't have to worry about much, now would i.
why do guntoting christians exist. don't you think that would be an oxymoron of the worst kind. you know, 'love thy neighbor'. but kill anyone you don't like. they'll probly kill me just for pointing that out. they probly don't even know what 'oxymoron' means. they certainly don't know what 'hypocrite' means, but they sure get pissed off when you say it. any existence around theirs is constantly riddled with 'why, why, why'. and he who sees the answer... dies. hmm. i guess that's why they carry guns. shoot anyone who questions your sanity. shoot anyone who knows your secrets. shoot anyone who can poke holes in your lies. shoot anyone who dares speak the truth. shoot anyone who can sense your weak points. if you have a weak point, it's well hidden behind a gun. the bigger the gun, the better the camouflage. would that be ironik that they often wear camouflage. i think i'm conphuzing myself. too many riddles makes a sane man cry. too many answers makes the bullets fly. if only their god could draw a line that they wouldn't cross. is that another oxymoron, or a pun, or a coincidence, or a play on words. i'm definitely conphuzed now. when you try to phigure these idiots out... you stumble thru their web of lies, illusion, deceit, conphuzion, delusion, and any other evil usion and ism you can think of. hell, i'm sure they have a few we can't think of. how about this one. gymnophobia. and no, it's not fear of the gym. lord knows they like the gym. and they like to shower afterward. i'm lost. i'll tell you what it is. it's the obsession with forcing their fears onto us, while at the same time, denying that they have any fears. but it's ok to fear god, but it seems to the open eyed that they don't, cause they do his killing with pride. am i losing you yet. if you're conphuzed, take a deep breath, and dial nine one one. but there will be a christian on the other end. a guntoting christian with authority and loads of psychotik insanity. you cannot trust anyone. if you can phigure this out, if you can get this far, then you owe it to yourself to take a nap. don't worry, you'll be safe behind the doorlock that they made. this is like fight club, but it's reversed. they are everywhere. no matter where you live, the ghetto, or the rich suburbs, you can be sure that every one of your neighbors has a gun. and if you try to think about it, they will shoot you. they don't like when people point out the lies they're in denial of. or the contradictions in their beloved book. or the cracks in their hypocrisies, or the holes in their theories, or the fact that they demand facts from us about evolution, but they base nuthing of theirs on fact. wow, i just phelt a hurricane around my head. i'm dizzy, where am i. this isn't kansas anymore, toto. we're in 'where the phuk am i' territory. we're in 'what the phuk' land. this is where they live, and they proudly call this home, and that's called patriotism, something else that will really phuk up your high. dude, man, you're trippin'. if you're seeing colours, that's a good thing, just follow the light and watch your step. keep your head down, pick your nose, burp, fart, spit, cough, sniff, and those weird, fast thoughts will lead you back home. but now you have to ask yourself, which one of us is tripping. that's the conphuzing part. step away from the bible, it's the wrong book. put the gun down. there's no reason to shoot... ow, goddamnit, now i have a bulletwound. ow, goddamnit, ok, ok, i'll stop saying goddamnit, although, that is the logikal reaction when you get shot, is to ask god to damn something, but then again, logik is not your friend. i understand, we'll take this one step at a time. ok, baby steps, whatever. ok, ok, snail steps, whatever you want, can we just get to the christian hospital please where they can pronounce me dead... if they can pronounce the word 'dead' right. if you're in the bible belt, it's more like 'dee ed'. that sumbitch is dee ed, muthaphuka. d e e d, ed, that spells dead. y'all ain't from 'round here, are ya, boy. best gitchoself a gun so you wake up tomarruh. and no, the bible belt is not a belt you can hang yourself with. well, depending on how you look at it, but if you look at it with your eyes closed like they do, you should be just fine. we have some phuking scary places in this cuntry, and in most of them, guaranteed, somewhere, you'll see a cross. what that means, is if their lord and saviour can die in the wrong part of town, so can you. spit. if your mind can take this journey... actually, scratch that... if you've read this hole thing, you might want to be careful. when you step out that door in the morning, those people will look pretty damned different to you. and you'll look different to them, too. i mean the third eye ball on your forehead might give you away. they see that as a target, and they shoot anything out of the ordinary, cause the 'out of the ordinary' scares the shyt out of them. hell, anything that doesn't have a cross scares the shyt out of them. you fear them, they fear you, and you wonder why our freedom is based solely on fear. i was once pulled over by cops, because they thought i shot someone, turns out it was a gang member and not little metalhead me, but they have to be fearfully sure of everything, so i get out of the car, walk backward toward them, and my mother is watching this, and sees how their guns are shaking like there's an earthquake going on, while pointed at my head, they're pissing themselves thinking i could shoot them at any second, and i'm a peaceful hippie who hates guns, but actually, that scares the shyt out of them way more than if i had a gun. hell, if i pointed my gun at them, and they saw a cross around my neck, that would be just fine. homies and gangsters wear crosses, might i add. the only reason i would ever have a cross around my neck is if i was hanging myself with it just to make a statement. if they see a black homie with all red clothing, a shotgun, and a cross around his neck, they let him go. if they see long hair, they freak and their guns start shaking. but if you dared to use the word 'hypocrisy', and point your smelly breath in their direction, well, let's just say, they don't think very highly of you. you can interpret the word 'highly' any way you want. you are free to do so, in their land of freedom and tolerance, just as long as you do what they want you to do. you have the freedom to be a slave that they won't tolerate. unless of course, you wear a cross. conphuzed yet. good, then my job here is done. take two of these and call me in the morning. and don't question what 'these' are. just know that if you see a black guy named morpheus, you're on the right track. but if you see a white rabbit on acid, you've gone too far. stop at the gun store slash liquor store slash church supply and demand center slash cemetery slash evidence storage and disposal slash lawyer waitingroom and all in one hunting shop, and take a left. you can get lost in that part of town, cause it was designed by a christian, obviously. he was armed to the teeth, but unfortunately, not the brain. tune in for tomarruh's 'dumb as a blogpost' discussion, titled 'dimethyltryptamine dreaming: everyone does hallucinogens whether they admit it or not'. happy tripping!
or, should i say, happy hunting.
pro peace, pro logik, anti YOU!
we now return you to 'shoot thy neighbor', starring president arnold schwarzenegger and vice president pat robertson.
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