starting line

a few things have occurred to me this morning. and last night. i don't have much time this morning, which is perfect, because i need to make this quick. so instead of emails and shit, i'm just putting everything here.

number one. for people i'm meeting, or about to meet. i realize it can be easy to get lost in my blog. i write too much because i never get to speak. it's not easy to explain. so i'm putting a quick introduction/explanation here, to let you know who i am. i'm ozzy draven. i'm thirty seven, father of two, i've been traveling for the past year and a half because my life was destroyed during twenty thirteen. i'm glad it was, it was a crap life, i knew every day, that whole time, that i was wasting my life in the wrong town, with the wrong people, and not pursuing my dreams and talents. so that's why i've come to los angeles. in the past year and a half, i've been through seattle, portland, san francisco, hitchhiked up the coast of california, it's been fun. my main talent has always been that i'm a writer. my mother was an intelligent woman, she recently passed away at fifty five, which will always remind me of sammy hagar, but she taught me a lot. i miss her dearly, because i knew she would have been the most proud of me. it was always her and i vs the world. because of that, i'm a writer. but i find that people don't read anymore. since the internet was born, no one has read my blog. which makes me wonder why blogs exist, it's a dumb word anyway, it's my fuckin' journal, or am i the only person online... well... i'm rambling and almost out of time. when i finally get to speak, i can't truncate anything, cause my tongue has been so severed, i'm surprised i know who i am. i've been told who to be so many times in my life, why should i remember myself, my life was destroyed.

anyway. to put it simply. if you're just meeting me, and i get pissed off, or bow my head... i cannot help that. you are triggering the fuck out of my complex ptsd, you need to understand what that is, it's nothing to be fucked with, if you see me getting agitated, starting to shake, or i start yelling, i apologize, i don't mean to do that, but i'm being triggered, and i cannot help that. my entire life, people have talked over me, told me i'm wrong before i even finished the sentence, start shaking their heads at me about three words in, and me being so intelligent, and reading a fuck of a lot more than they realize... my mother even tried explaining to teachers when i was a kid, but they almost refused to understand. but she knew. i take in everything. people have used the term 'hyperaware', but i'm not sure anyone really understands it but me. to understand me, you really, honestly have to watch the xmen movies. not only am i an evolutionist for a reason, but i have actually mutated. evolved. picture charles xavier in xmen first class. that's me. i could tell you stories from my childhood, but i'm out of time. nice to meet you, i'm not a lunatic, but i do have psychological damage i need help with, yes, i am admitting that myself, no i am not stupid, people love to assume i'm stupid, but i'm truly not, but how would anyone know if i never get to finish a sentence in a society that speaks at five second intervals between videogame consumption burps.

yeah, this is me. nice to meet you, sorry i couldn't say what i wanted to say, but that's why i have this fucking blog in the first place. thanks. time to go. your life is more important than mine. i submit.