the next hour

what do i want to do in the next hour. i've got about ten bucks.

i need to find somewhere dry to smoke a bowl.
i should get a cheap burger or something to eat.
then go to the library and watch something good.

i can either leave my laptop on, or shut it off.
i don't know how long i'll be in the rayne, i should shut it off.
do i want burger king or seven eleven. i also need new socks.
these white ones feel more out of place than i do.

it's two pm. twosday. what can i do on a twosday.
i need to call the dmv eventually, but i'm dreading that.
i need to email an apology to sandra, and a thank you to carol.
i also need to get zach to make my computer behave.

but what as far as getting a home...
even if it has wheels...
where can i look...

i refuse to use craigslist and drown in spam.
i'm always ignored on freecycle.
invisible on every other site.

brett's no longer an option, just another ripoff idiot. as usual.
my people issues and uncomfortability are still... skin level.

if only i could focus on anything. i need to think. brain still hasn't rebooted.
i've found myself dead in this spot, no direction from this corner.
is it gravity, or time? or me?

what do i need to get out of here?
what can happen?

meeting someone?
open mic attention?

i feel nothing in either direction. what happened to my heart?

momentum i built in san francisco is gone.
i need a piece of reality. just one direction.

i miss doctor bupp.
speak to me, my friend.

...
four pm. well, i actually panhandled for a few hours. got two big sandwiches from romeo, couple bucks. rainy day. although, just before sunset, the rain stopped and the clouds started thinning, so it got this really nice yellow glow right around sunset. i took a few pictures of it. i love that. watched iron man iii. liked it more this time. all in all, a beautiful day. except for my stomach. i don't know how much longer i can... keep this up. what can i do to get a home. no one will tell me. it's either unrealistic waiting lists, or... my own talent. but how the fuck do i use that. what the fuck do i start off doing. i'll email monique from wings of laughter, and see what she says. that's a good idea, i meant to do that weeks ago.