starbucks sarah

i am truly sorry that you have to put up with people like that. every day. i am very sorry, and i do sympathize, because i also have to put up with them on a constant basis. after the event new year's morning, i went back to my sleeping spot, and was encountered by yet another black crackhead idiot, it's already on my blog. i don't know what's wrong with them, or why there are so many of them. i do know that it sickens me more than anyone else.

that's one of my big disagreements with this world, and just one of the many reasons i'm here, of all the things i'm here to accomplish. things i'm very passionate about, that i see no one else being anywhere near this passionate about, or even thinking about. things in this world i'm very displeased with, that i want to change. i see things that make me sick, and i see no one else really being bothered by it. like the people in this starbucks right now, while this guy's being arrested, they just watch, and then go back to what they were doing. some don't even watch, they just click away on their magic thumb screens. and life goes on like normal, no one really does anything different, or says anything about it, no solutions are ever on the news.

but this shit makes me fucking sick in a very extreme way. because i'm on the wrong end of it. i'm invisible. the fact that i can't be noticed by a normal person. i can't be touched by a normal person. and i can't do anything about the violence toward me. i can't do anything about my life simply because no one understands me, even though i've explained myself on my blog, and have given out the link a million times in the past two years, and i'm stuck speaking into deaf ears, numb hearts, blind eyes, getting nowhere. the way i dress, i feel, should say it all, i think the way i dress has 'stay the fuck away from me' written all over it, it should say 'outlaw' all over it, but ever since nineteen ninety nine, all i get from people is 'hey, it's neo', or 'ooh, columbine, got a twelve gauge under there?'. did you people flunk history, or what? and i don't mean 'normal' in your version of normal. popular music, job, wallet, credit card, watches the news, wears colourful clothing, i don't mean any of that. that's why i want to draw my line through the world, my standards, my idea of what normal should be. i'm a metalhead. i have good taste in music, but i don't think media and entertainment and consuming products is all there is to life either. i'm trying to attract the right people, people obviously like me, other passionate, compassionate metalheads. the thing about metalheads, though, is that all the ones i've run into, they're pretty much mutually hateful, staring at the ground, and keep walking. i try to joke with them, but no one has a sense of humour anymore. we can't get more of the masses into comedy clubs? i'm one of the people who think we as a species sharing this planet shouldn't have to use the word 'masses' to describe ourselves.

but the fact that there are so many of those idiots doesn't seem to sicken anyone else as much as it does me, and i want to change that. the streets of every major city in this country are flooded with meth, crack, and heroin, social dysfunction, intentional public retardation with some sort of pride mentality behind it... and people who numb their brains with pop music and twitter activity, just walk right past it, and don't even see it, and both sights sicken me, how can you see that, constantly, your streets are flooded with trash, and you just walk past it, and the fact that it doesn't affect you, sickens me, who the fuck is trying to change this shit, if anyone. any bureaucrat is going to delay the shit with excuses and take forever because of 'other people'. i've recently had my life destroyed by 'other people', if my family had a family crest, it would say 'if you can't get anything done right, do it yourself'. that would consist of my dead mother, me, and my two kids, since the rest of my family was a genetic turd circus. i don't want to ramble on too much, i just wanted to offer my apology and sympathy for you having to put up with that on a daily basis as well, because i'm trying to find my way out of it for good, before one of these idiots... permanently ruins that. and i'm sorry for new year's day, the scene i made. i really didn't mean to make a scene, i was just trying to get rid of the guy, he was pissing me off, and i hadn't put my headphones in yet. i'm very sorry, i never do that, i'm nonviolent, i don't like having to hit people, even though i've had to defend myself, i've survived worse. and i'm not stupid, by any stretch. i was born extremely observant, to an overwhelming extent when i'm sober, and my mother taught me to learn from everything. one of the best lessons she ever taught me, she said son, don't just learn from your own mistakes, watch the show cops. which, in a way, was saying i could learn from anything. although, i never watched the stupid reality tv crap she did, i saw it a few times, and would ask her, 'what the fuck could you possibly be learning from that, other than what idiots those people are', and she would just click her tongue and roll her eyes. mom, that's not a proper response, especially considering you've done it the past ten year's i've been asking you that question. she would never answer. i could never tolerate stupidity. i call myself an intellectual supremacist, hoping someday, someone might get the joke. it's my sarcastic way of saying i hate stupid people, i agree with christopher titus, i think they should be the first to go. we could go extinct because of these idiots, and that doesn't send a chill down anyone else's spine, because someone just followed me on twitter! you have the attention span of a squirrel!

but anyway, i know i wrote too much for you to be able to read while you're working, but thank you for being nice to me, and knowing that i'm not one of those people. i've got a couple friends online trying to help me figure out how to meet the right people, because i'm sick of encountering nothing but those morons, and being asked for meth twenty times a fucking day, which i plan on doing a comedy bit about, hopefully you'll get to see it sometime. i do have a four minute open mic clip on youtube, if you search for animatrinity when you have the time. but i'm sorry, i truly do sympathize, and thank you again. there are better ways to start off new years. hopefully, one of these days, the methhead idiot population will be gone, products won't be important, and you and i can be friends and have a hot chocolate together some morning, in peace and quiet. i like to enjoy quiet sunrises, i've always been a morning person, that's when i have my biggest ideas, and that's when the least of those people are awake. i actually have a passionate attraction to sunrises, i've tried to describe it in poetry and photography, but i want to do more. anyway, i'm sorry that no one else really offers you any apology for that shit happening, and that it's a normal occurrence, and such a common thing that it's never even really talked about, no politicians are saying a damn thing about drugs, which means their war on drugs was a joke, i think this was their intention in the first place, to get half the population strung out on bad drugs and lost in a haze of not knowing what's going on, while this planet fills up with seven billion people, and no one's even wondering what's going on at this point, just go buy a new car and let someone else worry about it, cause that's their job, i just slit cow throats and sell vegan propaganda. like homeless security guards that harass homeless people because having a job makes them better than us. yeah, stop kicking that mentality out the door of starbucks, and think of something better. if donald trump is running for president, and no one else is thinking of this shit cause they're all distracted by that fiasco in a box... i need to get someone's attention, cause i can offer a vital suggestion right now. just let me draw my line. my people will gravitate toward it.

see, if you could put a sign on your door saying 'minimum iq required: one hundred and twenty'... that would solve a lot of problems, and if it offended anyone... that would be its purpose... wouldn't it? it's not about 'id', they misspelled it, you gotta flip the 'd' upside down, it's about 'iq', intelligence quotient, jay leno should poll people in the streets about that one, and see how many people don't know what iq even stands for, let alone their own score. i got an iq score once of a hundred and twenty, without missing a beat, i said 'fuck you, doc, i could have gotten a better iq score at a fuckin' walmart'. perhaps he assumed i was asking for some sort of phallic measurement, i don't know, i thought the brain was a different muscle, and here's another one of those idiots now. good timing to stop typing, you've got a job to deal with. meanwhile, i don't want to waste time on a job, i've got a career to pursue, and i don't have one day to waste, i'm already twenty years behind schedule according to my calendar. try to have a good day anyway, and hope with me that someday these idiots will be gone, and we'll be responsible for ourselves, and i believe that can happen very soon.