"Copyright This, Mutherfucker" - Bill Hicks II: The Sequel!

'yippykayayyy, mutherfucker'. (or whoever the fuck you text it these days). oh, wait, i forgot the quotes. rewind. camera clicks. fade to voiceover.

hey, can i copyright the phrase, i am going to go to the store. ? no? okay, well, how about the phrase, 'i'm going to the mutherfuckin' store, dinglewhopper! ? yes? no? okay, how about the phrase, 'lunatic fringe, i know you're out there'. ? no? someone already copyrighted that one? damn. cause i think it's a cool phrase that should be said alot while we're trying to bring humanity together and unite as a collective planetary consciousness, while letting selfishness and greed and ownership over nonsense and monetary material crap go (shyt, i posted it two minutes too soon, and forgot to proofread). people we don't know telling us all how to live, that makes more sense. okay, can i copyright that phrase then? how about this for a question. can i legally claim that i am the reincarnation of bill hicks, or would that be like the ultimate copyright infringement lawsuit. would his mother sue me. cause i wouldn't want her to do that, i love her. just because i was born in the wrong fuckin' city. can i copyright that phrase? how many words constitutes a phrase you can copyright? cause 'lunatic fringe, i know you're out there', first of all, it has the word 'fringe' in it. can i copyright the phrase 'don't sue me for copyright infringement', that's six words. 'lunatic fringe, i know you're out there', that's seven words. well, six and a letter. can you copyright a letter? cause my symbol and actual signature is ø. my name is ozzy draven. ooh, that might be a legal issue. named myself after ozzy osbourne and eric draven in the crow, uh oh. i didn't think of that. i was copyright infringing on marilyn manson's idea, sorry. i thought it was kind of a 'natural born killers' thing to do. he wanted to combine ugly and beauty, yeah, whatever, i wanted to combine reality and dreams, fiction, fantasy, imagination, cause i'm a fuckin' dreamer, like john lennon, people quote his song all the time, but some people don't always mention his name with it, cause it's such a popular phrase, everyone knows it, especially in a time when we're coming together as a collective consciousness, and all that jazz. ooh, i said the phrase, 'and all that jazz', that's four words, is that copyrighted? oh, shit, it is. by who? fuck, i don't know, am i gonna get sued cause i didn't say their name? damn, i can't even legally ask this question then, that doesn't make sense. okay, well, the phrase, 'i am going to go to the store' is a common phrase, it's, let's see, eight words, or seven and a letter for the people who claim logic as their god. people who see it with three eyes, kinda like the doctor in 'patch adams'. oh, that's a fictional story. well, at least it was a functional story. imagination tends to do that. that's kinda why i like it, and chose it as the other half of my fuckin' name, cause i'm a dreamer. but i guess being a dreamer is copyrighted, too. shyt. people go crazy over that selfish, greedy shyt, don't they. and they get mad when idiots like shia labeouf don't fuckin' do it right. douchebag. okay, let's see how many people in this world have ever downloaded a torrent, or stolen something, or committed any other theft crime, especially the ones that really suck, like identity theft. my ex stole from stores all the time, my uncle stole from my family all his life to support his psychotic drug habit. oh, sorry, i forgot to tell you, i separated the drug categories into psychedelics and psychotics, and i don't do the psychotics, cause i'm not fucking retarded. and i use the word retarded the way christopher titus does, so don't flood your tampon, shut up. oh, wait, i bet that's copyrighted, goddamnit. is it a phrase or a concept, i don't know. it's a whole fuckin' comedy bit, i just ripped off christopher titus, damn. sorry, dude. well, at least i said your name, i guess i'm safe for now. i also downloaded a torrent of his, but also once owned a dvd of his before i lost it all, including all my own unpublished, uncopyrighted creative work and verbal art that pretty much proved that i am the reincarnation of bill hicks, but i guess that's a legal issue now. fuck. i don't have the evidence cause some dickhead thief stole my computer from me. fuckin' thieves, i hate them, don't you? goddamnit. oh, wait, i just admitted that i download a titus torrent, fuck, i bet he'll sue me now. please don't sue me, dude, i'm a huge fan, and i do have a letter i wrote you about how much you've inspired me to stay the fuck alive! does that count? can you not sue me please, i promise when i get more money, and rebuild my life, i'll buy plenty of your shyt, i really really promise, cause you're a huge inspiration to me, why wouldn't i. fuck, i'm claiming to be the reincarnation of bill hicks, i kinda have to, don't i? makes sense to me. i mean who knows who's the reincarnation of who, we don't know, do we. can i copyright that phrase. or is it a concept. i want to be selfish and greedy with that one, it's mine, i don't want anyone stealing it and saying it without saying my name along with it. wait a minute, no i fuckin' don't. i don't want to be greedy and selfish with that one, i want everyone saying it, i want it to be a common phrase. oh, shyt, i just legally changed my mind, publicly, too. fuck, what do i do, do i sue myself now? oh, shyt, paranoia, run, hide, they're all out to hurt you! aaahhh! cause you know what, honestly, when it comes down to it, i'm tired of the debate, i'll close jimmy pineapple's fuckin' case right the fuck right now, i honestly think i'm the reincarnation of alot of dead fuckin' thinkers. dead heroes, as tool says. they're my heroes. i think we need some fuckin' heroes, these days, cause we have no hope. some of my heroes are fictional, and some are functional. real. mostly dead. but they did some serious thinking, advancing us forward toward a united consciousness. my heroes. bill hicks, terence mckenna, albert einstein, isaac newton, who i named my cat after, i miss little newton, my family stole him from me, can i sue them for that? that one hurt, he was my awesome cat, i didn't choose to become homeless and lose everything, it was other people's irresponsibilities that fucked my life up, destroyed me, almost killed me, and traumatized me, and fucked me up, but can i sue them for all that shyt? cause it sucked, and they did alot of wrong things, or at least i claim, but i'm probly just insane, so none of it was right, right? can i copyright that, then, and at least make some money off it? cause i'm sure that's happened to another few of our fellow earthwalkers of level ground a time or two, i could make a movie about it, and tell that story, cause it needs to be fucking told, i think. oh, wait, i think it already was. i'm sorry that when i was homeless, i was such a fuckin' nuisance to your happyness. oh, wait, i bet the word happyness is copyrighted now, even though it was a fictional misspelling based on a true story, fuck, that makes so much sense, i'm legally confused. wow, how much greed do you think that's worth. can i buy some stock in that one? i bet someone's makin' a dime off it. dimebag, can i copyright that? it was dimebag's name, he's a dead hero of mine. someone once said, it was the worst death since john lennon, or something like that, i can't quote, sorry, i can't quite remember the actual phrase, or who said it. shyt, i'm gonna get sued, someone's angry, i can feel it, i should know, i was traumatized by angry people, and developed my own anger issues. can i sue them and copyright it all. but anyway, without all the confusion, let me stay on topic, that is a way i have been traumatized lately. someone said dimebag's death was the worst death since john lennon. i agree, so that's why i said it, too, cause it was helping my point, which i'm getting back to. wait, what was my point. oh, yeah. i remember. it was back at the jimmy pineapple part, okay. it's a good thing i'm writing this, i have no one to tell it to. everyone hates me. can i copyright that phrase, 'everyone hates me'. ? i wanna put it on a shirt and wear it, and take a picture of it, and copyright the picture, and put that image on a shirt, copyright it, and sell it, cause i think that would be a cool idea, and then i wanna copyright that idea, cause i could make enuph money to get back the life that i lost when i was homeless, including all the shyt i wrote that i can't get back. hell, i could have enuph money to hire a hacker to track down my computer. i certainly wouldn't want to hire a tracker to hack down my computer, and that's pretty much what happened to me. can i sue them for that? oh, good. well, it sucks actually, cause i'll never even know who did it. i know it was someone in the oasis apartments in tucson arizona around the time of april 2013, i'm sure they might have a list of names, or a history or something, and you could get the fb fuckin' i to investigate and interrogate those people and waterboard the fucker who did it, right? cause i'm an american, and patriotic people should back me on that, they're selfish enuph. claiming land, i don't even like those people, i'm not even patriotic for this planet, i feel like an alien who can't even prove he's been here twice legally in this place, it's too illogical and legal. can i legalize logic. like make it an actual religion or something. that would be cool. i'll copyright that. and i want to copyright 'everyone hates me', and also the thing i was saying about jimmy pineapple, getting back to the point and cutting to the end of the fuckin' debate right the fuck right now. i like to say that phrase alot, i think it's cool. i think i'm the reincarnation of alot of dreamers, because the concept i'd like to copyright and sell and make money off of, is this. i think there's a part of our collective consciousness that is from somewhere outside this consciousness, and he keeps peeking in from time to time, or a few of them maybe, and donating their wisdom and knowledge to us, to guide us in a better direction, toward uniting as one, is that concept already copyrighted by tool. shyt. well, cause i just built onto it, i guess that's illegal, too, huh. damn, i can't even think anymore. you made illegal for your heroes and dreamers and that certain spirit who reincarnates whenever the fuck they want, whoever they are, and however many of them there are, but that big fuckin' brain that stops by once in a while, you know, that guy. what's his name, i can't think of it right now, i'm trying to stick to the point. oh, yeah, jimmy pineapple, the thing i was saying, ending the debate, right now. there's a consciousness on this planet, that's all we know. it's growing out of this planet. right now, it looks like a fuckin' virus, in bill hicks' copyrighted opinion, but i quote that concept alot, so does his friend joe rogan. yeah, the debate. what i wanted to say back there, the first time i said it, was how many people do you think i just copyright infringed in that one little part. i'll copy and paste the whole bit right here.

cause you know what, honestly, when it comes down to it, i'm tired of the debate, i'll close jimmy pineapple's fuckin' case right the fuck right now, i honestly think i'm the reincarnation of alot of dead fuckin' thinkers. dead heroes, as tool says.

okay, how many people do you think i stole words from right there. let's see, there's bill hicks, of course. and all i did was add jimmy pineapple's name to that part of the quote, and then i quoted phil anselmo, cause that's copyrighted on pantera's live cd, but dimebag got sued after he was killed for using the word dimebag as a name, cause that system loved raping corpses, and just had to fuck up as much as they could before they were no longer relevant in the eye of consciousness... oh, wait, i'm still in 2014, shyt. i almost reincarnated again. i have been wanting to kill myself after all the trauma, so i guess that's legally copyrightable, right? is that wrong? is this whole concept wrong? fuck.

well, who cares, i'm going for it, i'm still going to end the debate right now, because i think i can copyright this thing and end up in lewis black's starbucks universe cafe. wait, is that copyrighted with the cafe, or the café. does everyone know how to do those symbols now, or is it still 2014. ah, okay, we're still texting, gotcha. can't copyright that part yet. fuck. well, anyway, still getting to the point. ending the debate. remember, i have been traumatized. my mind isn't exactly legal. but i have copyrighted the phrase 'i'm out of my mind and never going back', because it used to be an intentional choice of my own to take lsd, but that's illegal, so i can't copyright it. anyway, the point. the debate. let's see, where was i. oh, yeah. there's a spirit out there, and i don't think if he reincarnated, he would want to copyright himself. here's my concept that i will copyright someday when i get enuph money to actually legally do so, i mean i want to patent this sumbitch. wait, is 'sumbitch' copyrighted? fuck, then how about 'git r done'. do i have to do it with the dashes? i think if we all copyright infringe sued eachother, we'd end up in a lewis black universe where starbucks is like an evil dictator enslaving us all, and tying us up with dollar bills, and raping us with a copyrighted big black cock of death, and i can't do bill hicks' satan voice after that, cause i'm writing this. remember, i have no one to tell, everyone hates me. remember, i copyrighted that phrase and put it on a tshirt. oh, wait, i haven't done that yet. fuck, this linear time shyt sucks for my enlightened spirit, or legal brain, whichever eyes you're reading this thru. for people with glasses, click here. oh, wait, that's copyrighted by google. fuck, even the word google is copyrighted, i'm confused, can i say google me legally? i can't say that? shyt, man, who owns that one. oh, wait, it's 2014, i'm still talking to myself, there's no one actually here. i guess was traumatized, i'm writing this idea. shyt, that's bad. is that a legal issue. cause i'm going to clear up the debate before it happens right fucking now. i would like to copyright the phrase, 'i am going to go to the store'. i also want to copyright a future rant of mine, called 'noam sane', but i want to copyright the concept before i actually write it, because i'm about to be sued for it. someone got angry. (i should say here, that in the year 2014, it's still illegal to read this, so be careful).

here's something i never got to copyright and lost. the phrase, 'if you tell someone they have anger issues, and they get angry at you... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!'. cause i put that on a tshirt five years from now, and it gets put in the forest gump sequel. you'll love it, it's not even conceived yet. wait, did i spell conceived right. the point is, if something is a legal issue because of selfishness and greed, it makes it impossible for my soul to reincarnate in a logical fashion. and that doesn't make any sense to me, so i'm going to leave this world legally. i'll sue myself and end up in lewis black's butt. at least there's coffee there. or something brown. don't worry about it, the point is, i want to copyright the phrase 'i am going to go to the store', and it's eight words, it's an official phrase, and fifty thousand years ago, they once proved it was legally uncommon enuph to be copyrighted, but those documents were burnt in the alexandria fire, so it doesn't matter anyway when you look at it with three eyes. anyway. the point. i want to copyright it so i can end up in lewis black's butt. is that legal? can i do that? have i already asked a lawyer? judges? oh, wait, it's 2014, i'm not in alice cooper's guillotine on the reality show yet. okay, still safe. but you know what the truth is. this is what the reincarnation of bill hicks would legally say, by the way, and it was legally proven in the year 2032, the year of bill hicks, so we're clear. oh, wait, that's not copyrighted yet, no we're not, shyt, call the fbi!. wait, is it with the ! or the . ? the way i write makes alot of sense, doesn't it? haha.

okay, ending the debate, i swear i'm going to stay on topic here. this all gets famous a year from now, so stick to it. sorry, my past life was talking to me again. the q is talking to me, the q is talking to me! sorry, denis leary quote, just to piss him off. don't sue me, i'm just joshin' with ya, dude. i'm sure i spelled that one right. i saw someone text it wrong though, and he got sued. here's the point. when it's all said and done, and the debate is over, and we all agree, here's the thing. get this. cause i wanna copyright it, it's fuckin' great. i'll even start a new paragraph, just so you can pay attention.

when it's all said and done, we can't copyright shyt. because everyone says 'i'm going to the store', and not 'i am going to go to the store'. but i want to say 'lunatic fringe, i know you're out there' in a poem of mine, which i already did in a past life as well. i want to quote myself, get it? oh, wait, this is still 2014, and reincarnation isn't legal yet. what a conundrum. if we want to get perfectly legal about this, and tighten up our assholes instead of loosening our minds, we can really think about this. like a thinker would do. it's stupid to pick and choose which phrases we can be greedy and selfish over, and which ones are common enuph, it creates a legal issue that keeps us from entering a united consciousness, and our future splits off, and we don't get to michio kaku's utopia. this is the reality where michio kaku dies, and i am quoting men in black four. wait, is it with the iv, or the four, we don't know yet, do we. yeah. when it's all said and done, how do you know you can't reincarnate and sue your past life for copyright infringing your current life? how do you know? you know how you don't know? because the truth is, and i'm quoting the legal reincarnation of bill hicks here, the truth is, when it's all said and done, when it all comes down to it, you don't know what the fuck is out there. you don't. you fucking don't. you legally don't. and i can prove it. you don't even know what the fuck is in your own mutherfuckin' mind, man. and i partially quoted the crow there. you can't legally prove or disprove reincarnation yet, and that's what makes it magical. that's life, this reality bubble we're all together in. john lennon's reincarnation once said that, but we never proved who it was. what a fuckin' tragedy. oh, wait, who am i quoting there.

so, when you want to argue about greed, and selish people, and shia labeouf, you can take my cock out of your ass and sue me with it, cause i just stole from you and copyrighted it. but hey, i'll be okay, cause i'll be in lewis black's butt, and you'll all be in the wrong future without me, so, i'd say it all works out fine. it's what you all wanted, and my soul never should have come here. so i take back all my files and all my past life files, including john lennon and bill hicks, which puts you in a legal bind of your own confusion, and i'm going home. as if i was never here, which is a fictional concept, and if you want, you can sue goatboy@billhicks.com

so, now that i legally can't exist anymore, i'm going to post this online, and see what people think of it. then they can read my twitter, and laff at shia labeouf, and beat the shyt out of me, and we'll all laff and become one, and live happily ever after in michio kaku's utopia. yes, i fucking did it. so, now i can legally say the phrase...

that's the fuck how you fuckin' do it, shia, you fuckin' douchewank!!!

and now i want to copyright that phrase, and put it on a tshirt, and take a picture of me and shia both wearing it, and copyright that, and sell those tshirts to people, and get rich. oh, wait, we're still in 2014, shyt, now he can sue me for stealing from jim carrey. cause that's too bad, man. cause i think it was also jim carrey who said...

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssmokinnnnn'!

but i put that at the end of my already copyrighted song, 'i'm bringing thinking back', which proves the point anyway, so we're all good. legally, you can't do shyt to me. cause i'm a fuckin' genius. wow, that was pretty cool, i think i'm gonna smoke some pot now, and imagine myself being a mutant while i watch x-men. have fun deciphering this.

oh, yeah, i forgot the ending. haha. fuckin' linear time, man. bill hicks quoted jimmy pineapple when he said, 'case fucking closed'. is that copyrighted? i believe it was jim carrey, who said, 'i believe it was shia labeouf who said that'. ooh, that's gonna make some greedy selfish people mad. my trauma tells me i can feel the fbi getting in their big black suvs. is that just in the movies, or do they actually do that in a functional really real world, too. cause in the really real world, and i'm quoting the crow here, as ozzy draven could do, cause i'm real, and i claim logic as my god... in the really real world, there ain't no comin' back.

fuck, that's a confusing concept if you're a christian, isn't it. or a government official, too. damn, i bet i just pissed all of them off all at once. you're gonna see another waco on cnn, man, i'm so dead. bill hicks saw waco. which means, i saw it, but i technically wasn't there, cause it's illegal copyrightwise to claim yourself as the reincarnation of anyone. fuck. i'll just sue myself, pay everyone else, and kill myself. that should make y'all happy. sorry i stole this entire concept from myself, i'm a fuckin' no good thief, and should never be forgiven. especially by christians who forgive. wait, didn't bill hicks say that one? damn. that's like going up to jackie with a rifle pendant, they don't like hearing that. i'm quoting so many versions of myself, i can't keep up, this thought is so far out there, it's illegal. and dangerous. or, dangerously sane, i say. which bill hicks would also say, if he were still 'round here, boy. but anyway, back to the point.

oh, wait, i wrote the jim carrey parts in the wrong order, shyt! nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................................... (plop!)

ah, man, it's not coffee! fuck.