just went out to try to smoke. it's raining. got kicked out of two doorways. had some other homeless guy ask me for weed. another one sold me a dollar joint. seems like they could have made great friends without me. so i had to sit in the park and try to finish smoking. almost broke my pipe, lost a bowl of weed, got soaked. and it's too much to ask for my umbrella to stay still while i try to smoke! it's too much to ask for a fucking friend! i'm not allowed to have a reliable fucking friend. i don't deserve any fucking friends! i'm not allowed to have a good time on this pathetic fucking planet, while you all have a wonderful time, i'm sure it was agreed upon before i was born, 'let's all have a great fucking time, but not that guy. don't let that guy relax for one minute'. while your whiny children get all the relaxation they desire. you're all spoiled, you're wearing the wrong fucking clothing, filling your heads with the wrong fucking beliefs, and molding it in concrete with the wrong fucking drugs! and i wonder why i can't find a fucking friend! why the fuck did i just spend an hour and a half outside trying to smoke a fucking bowl! why! why do i fucking talk to people! i should have put a knife through my fucking heart by now! my mind fucking hates me! and no one understands me! they can't even make the fucking effort! a whole fucking society of clones who are too scared of me to buy what i'm selling, and little would they ever know, i'm not fucking selling anything! wake the fuck up! i should not have been born for another thousand fucking years! i fucking hate you all! you're all wastes of life! it's like i'm seeing my dead ancestors stumble through their haze days. why celebrate yourselves? you're just preempting something better.
you kick homeless people when they're down.
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